Splitting the bill when going out

Starronda

Starronda

At the start of BSL! Patiently waiting for full❤️
I've been dating my boyfriend going on a year in April. Whenever we go out to dinner we usually split the bill or one of us will volunteer to pay the entire thing. I hear some people say that after that amount of time together the man should be paying the bill, not splitting it with his girlfriend. I also hear people say there's nothing wrong with splitting the bill.

This is the first relationship I've been in that I've ever split the bill with anyone. I'm curious to see how many women split the bill when you go out or you agree that the man should be paying 100%. We both make the same amount of money annually if that makes a difference.
 
I would never go out on a date with a man and split the bill much less my sandwich. Seriously, it's his job to court you in its entirety
 
I would not like that :nono:. Not very chivalrous if you ask me. I like the idea of the guy paying mostly and the woman treating here and there, for special occasions, etc. However, if you or anyone else likes mostly splitting the bill and on occasion one or the other footing the bill, then I love it. Everyone is different.
 
Are you both in school? Working?

I only ask because I would give someone in college (w/o a FT job) a pass BUT even my college boyfriends treated me to places that they could afford.

Is he asking you to split the check every time or do you volunteer to do so?

Don't volunteer unless you really want to pay.
 
I like my men old fashioned I suppose, but asking me to pay would just rub me the wrong way and feel insulting. I was raised to believe that men are gentlemen and are happy to provide for their woman. I expect the man to pay for everything even if I made the same or more than him. But to each is their own:yep:
 
If that's what's comfortable for you. Personally no I wouldn't split the bill hardly ever with a man who should be courting me.
If I'm paying for myself were friends.
Eta horrible typo
 
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Not sure what you can do a year in anyway. I'm assuming he's comfortable with the situation as is. I can't imagine that would be an easy change...for him that is.
 
Everyone is different... but I don't believe in that at all. In fact, my SO wouldn't even let me reach to pay anything on a bill while we're out... and that goes for whether we're at a restaurant, the supermarket, or if I just want a can of soda from 711.
 
That's up to you if it is a problem or not but after I year, he may find it odd that you complain instead of speaking up in the beginning.

My grandfather says "don't start nothing you can't keep up."

Personally I do the tip most of the time and I will pay for a round of drinks depending on the place.
 
Thanks for all the great advice ladies!
No we're not in college, both work full time jobs. Like I said, I've never done this before so I always struggle with if I should or shouldn't. Not even sure how it started. I know it's been a year in, but I will be speaking with my SO about how I feel.
 
When we were dating he paid, always. Since we have been "officially" a couple, one pays and the other one tips--kinda started by accident by has continued for 20+ years. One of us will say "do you have a tip?" or "are you paying or tipping?" The only time it's a done-deal are special occasions when the celebrated never pays but may tip.
 
i dated a guy for a year who paid more attention than i wanted to how the bill was being paid when we went out. it was ultimately a red flag because the way we felt about money ended up being a contributing factor to the problems in our relationship. he made more money than me so i felt like he should not be so petty about paying for things. ultimately i began to equivocate his inability to just pay for me to him not caring about me because i was struggling at the time.

the last guy i dated had a lot more money than me and i only ever paid when i offered to pay. when we went out it was assumed that he would pay. sometimes i would offer just so he didn't feel like i was taking advantage of him, and so that i was contributing sometimes. but 90% of the time i never paid for anything, and i will be seeking to replicate that in any subsequent relationships. funnily enough even though he had a lot more money than me, and my last ex, money was not a contributing factor to our relationship. it didnt create any problems for me.

judging from the two experiences, i will continue to see holding on to the coin purse as a red flag in my relationships personally. by the way love your hair in your siggy.
 
oh, by the way, the guy im kind of/not dating now has no money, i definitely have more money than him, and he pays every time we go out. i literally offered to pay last night and he told me to put my card away. they know how to act, dont underestimate men op.
 
I think its different for everyone, if it was something you and he were ok with then that's the end of the matter. But since it bothers you, have a talk with him. Personally, SO hardly lets me pay for things, unless I bought him food without him being present. Even on his B-day I took him out, and he would only let me pay half.
 
I'm blessed. My bf pays for everything. If I do pay for something it's a scenario like (1) we are gonna cook together and ill go buy the grocery(even then he'll ask if I'd good) or (2) going to movies and running late so ill hop on the CPU and buy the tickets. I hope it stays like this. Lmao.
 
OP, just curious, how does splitting the bill go? Does he ask or do you both just look at the bill and pull your cards/money out?

Personally, I wouldn't split the bill. But, I would offer to pay every once in a while.
 
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I would have been the type to be ok with that but after being with my ex....I am spoiled and expect for them to pay....for everything. I was so happy when my latest date paid for everything except for the gas I put in my car which....einh I can forgive.

I'll admit that I feel badly about it :(
It must be hard being a man having these expenses. You gotta pay to play for real!!!!
 
Next time you go out, just sit there and :). If he pays bill without hesitation then keep it that way. :sekret: If not IDK. Old habits die hard. Nothing wrong with paying here and there but all the time? No.
 
SO and I take turns paying. We've been together almost a year. It doesn't bother me. Sent from my iPad mini mini.
 
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My last disaster of a relationship, he wanted me to pay for everything. He wasn't a real man. He was a loser.


My current relationship, I do not pay for anything and he doesn't let me pay for anything. Hes very traditional in the fact that as a man that he must court me. He does not believe in splitting bills and gives me a look if I even look like I'm fumbling in my purse around the time it's time to pay and I'm usually not fumbling for anything money related. Lol.

It may be kind of hard to approach that subject now since y'all have been doing this for a year but if this is something you are not accustomed to, then you need to say something now.

I don't see anything wrong with you, as a woman, treating your SO to dinner every so often. I, personally, see an issue with y'all essentially still going Dutch and y'all have been together a year. I guess I say this bc I'm spoiled in this relationship and if this one ends, I expect no less in my next one.

Do you pay for the both of y'all more often than he does?

But if it works for y'all then it works. But I'm guessing it bothers you a bit. Let us know how it goes after you speak with him.

Sent from my SPH-L900 using LHCF
 
Ey. Chineke God, that is not my portion. God forbid. I am not paying for anything when I'm dating a guy. no no no no. That's just me though.
 
I only pay if I force him out his house and he doesn't wanna go out. I have literally shown up at his place and picked out an outfit for him to wear. :lol: he'll hand me his car keys like here you go ms. I want lobster.

Two previous relationships no. That got real old, real fast.
 
It's 2014. It depends on what you think. If women want to be equal to men then why should he pay your portion? Lol

I personally think that a man should pay, but I am old-fashioned in many ways. But if if does not bother you and you think it is fair and he otherwise treats you well don't cause problems where there are none.

If you want a more traditional relationship this may be the tip of the iceberg so keep your eyes peeled.
 
Dating wise I've never had anyone suggest splitting a bill at a restaurant.

In my relationship we have mixed methods:lol: When it comes to small crapola things (like KFC :look:) we take it in turns, although he pays more often. The thing is I have a generous spirit sometimes, so I like to get something small occasionally.

Any big stuff, or evenings out (holidays, cinema/theatre, drinks, fancy restaurants), SO pays for.. Although he's always paid for these things from the start. I'm not sure it will work to ask to shift it after a year.

If you're strongly traditional then it's probably best to seek a strongly traditional man from the outset.
 
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