It's SUCH a better feeling when the GUY pursues. I think the guys feel better about themselves too when they're the ones taking over the manly role. 
I'm fully over the "ex" now and so I'm just doing me and improving a lot of areas in my life. 
If you think Fatal Attraction was bad, this girl is delusional! 
I felt sad for her actually. She was a very attractive woman too! But she was of course stuck on some guy. 
Watching her demise and seeing her slowly spiral down out of control was quite painful really. But it just stressed upon me the importance of only loving those who love you, and why you shouldn't make a man your whole life or reason for living. 
and you just KIM.
But I just don't understand this story. Personally, I would want a man to be at the very least attracted to me when he met me if he would end up being my husband. 
If he noticed she was attractive but didn't really think much of her, then that's one thing. But it almost sounds like in your story that he wouldn't even look in her direction because he was NOT even attracted and didn't view her in that way. Hmmmm..... 
. I've been tempted to give into his pleas but that would be breaking the rules and there is no way I am doing that.
Cheers!
Let him come to you FIRST! 
Idk why people think it's a 4-letter word or something?? Or like, you can't be happy if you're single. Like wth?? 
There is a lovely guy who is interested in me and man oh man as beautiful as he is... dude is working HARD for me
Stay positive ladies
xxxx
HOLD THE BRAKES!! Wait a second! He's working "hard" for you and you're not "giving into his pleas??" 
Do you know how hard it is for me to find a guy who is FINE and is actually pursuing ME?? OMG....girl you better give in!
Good for you!
*
Good for you for staying busy and enjoying yourself even though you're.....*gulp* SINGLE!!
* I'm happy being single right now because I am not ready for relationship just yet. Having too much fun finding myself and reaching for my goals*
*Indeed*
Girl??? Are you crazy??
*haha! I am not giving in. I told you it's hard because he is simply divine and we have so much in common but I must stay strong. It's tres tres TRES flattering but I know what I want and do not want to spoil it. Hey crystalice don't you think you're worth it? You're worth a guy sweating buckets over you
"The Rules" is NOT about NEVER giving into a guy's pleas, it's about making sure that you love yourself more than you love him, and that he's actually pursuing you w/out you chasing HIM. If he's working for you, then by all means....go out with him!
*Thats what I'm doing. I have called him once or twice but only to return his call or to set a date. Pleas... well personally I think he is trying to test me by being a bit cheeky... I don't mind*
What is he doing to work "hard" for you?? Just curious...
He is a huge polo fan. I send him an email every so often he replies instantly. I don't pick up his calls all the time he has complained and once said he will not call me any more I must call him needless to say he called me the following day telling me that he misses me. MY favourite, I could only meet him for a lunch date for one hour he works on the other side of the river and travelled to see me and was late for work. In the fast paced sector that he works in if you're late your colleagues will not let you hear the last of it neither will your clients* That's all so far
IMO playing TOO Hard to get can actually work against you. If you weren't interested in him in the least, then I would say go ahead and do whatever. But since you're actually interested in him I think that you're being a little too hard on him by not "giving in". Eventually you WANT to "give in"! Otherwise, the guy either: There is a balance between NOT pursuing/chasing a man and taking your time getting to know someone, and being TOO Hard to get, to the point where you make it difficult for the guy to even get to know you. Eventually it will all become just about "the chase" and he'll just move on either to another woman who's "chase" is better than yours, or he'll want to be with a woman who's actually RECEPTIVE to his advances. My replies in asterieks
*He cancelled a lads weekend away to make sure he was here in London for our date because it's the only day that he found out that I could do.
I blush when I think of all he has done but I'm worth it. He is a total sweetie pie.
) that I had always seen at some parties that my friend invited me to, and he would always come up to me and a friend of mine and introduce himself and make small talk, ask questions, etc. I never really thought much about him because even though he's nice-looking, he's just not really my type. I like dark-skinned guys. Plus, I don't usually start to LIKE a guy unless he shows that he's interested in me. Go figure! ) and allow HIM to notice me. Well....actually, THIS time I passed by him and acknowleged him with a smile and a hello. You know, just like a friendly type hello...nothing more/nothing less was I trying to get out of the encounter. He immediately lit up and started striking up a conversation with me. I'm telling you, after that, he kept coming up to strike up a conversation with me during different parts of the evening! He seemed really interested and definitely attracted lol. :blush3: We had a little convo, and it was nice. To be honest, I'm not even really looking for a relationship right now....I really just want friendship and a break after all that I've been through. Plus, I have a lot of things on my plate this year, so I'm not even looking for a relationship anymore. But...I'm definitely open to different prospects! 
I don't advocate chasing a man AT ALL, but sometimes guys DO need a little "encouragement" here and there showing that you'd be OPEN to his pursuit! Now, if you toss the ball on his side and he doesn't do ANYTHING with it, then...you basically have your answer. But I see nothing wrong with a woman at least acknowleging, smiling at, or saying hello to a man. I know this goes against "The Rules" 
but hey.....I realized recently that I might be waiting for a VERY long time if I just wait passively for a man to notice me AND make the first conversation/move. So then I was just settling for whatever came my way. But, now I see that there's nothing wrong with giving little "signs" that show a man that you'd be open to him pursuing you. Again....keep in mind that you're giving the man the GREEN light to pursue you. But at least I feel like I got outside of my comfort zone a little bit and tipped the ball in a guy's court for a change. I didn't even think he was going to contact me after asking for my number....but he did. So....we'll see what happens I guess! 
, but I think I'll just make it a little easier for the guy to pursue or at least give the guy more "GREEN LIGHTS" to pursue me. I think in the past I've always been more shy/coy/mixed signals with guys that I'm actually interested in who show an interest in me, whereas the guys that I'm NOT interested in, I've been more myself, open, outgoing, maybe even a little flirty... I don't want to just sit back like a wall flower and just let any old guy come up to me. I want a guy that I'm at least somewhat attracted to...one that has caught MY eye for a change. You know what I mean? I'm still going to be a classy lady, and not behave in a desperate way, but I think I'm just going to be more MYSELF these days. If I want to smile at a man, dagnabit I'm going to smile at a man! This business of NEVER looking at a guy first and NEVER making eye contact or speaking to a man first is for the birds. That behavior may work with SOME men, but for most men, that behavior comes off as just plain WEIRD. So, you can't really say that it was because you acted a certain way in other words. Maybe we acted too "friendly" with the WRONG guys! No big deal to me. *shrugs* I'm looking for a man who feels a mutual connection with me anyway. 
Whenever I've just gone the "friendly" route have listened to my heart instead of my head, I have always gotten the best results with men. Sometimes we can OVERthink things to the point where we stop being our "natural selves", and that in itself can be a turn-off and cause us to exhibit a negative vibe (the very vibe we were trying NOT to exhibit in the first place! lol!) with men. 
, but at the same time....I'm trying something new on for size.... I'm trying to work on being a little more natural in my approach with men now days, because I noticed that while doing "The Rules" I would indeed feel more EMPOWERED around men, but I also noticed that I felt like I wasn't really being myself anymore. Plus, I always felt like I had to be on guard. I kept holding back on being myself, and I didn't really like that feeling at all. 
), but at the same time, I'm not strict with my interaction with men. Even though I don't call men FIRST, if I'm interested in a guy, then I don't mind glancing at him (especially if he keeps looking my way), smiling and engaging him in conversation (if he happens to approach and come up to me first), or just being more OPEN in general. I guess I'm just looking for something more mutual I suppose. I actually find that WMLB is probably a better book in the fact that it's a little less strict, but at the same time.....it seems to work better for women who already in a relationship. If they come up with a WMLB book for women (like "The Rules" )who haven't had the first date yet, or who haven't even had a guy approach them/show interest yet, then that would be a good book imo.
