*Spinoff* "The Rules Challenge!--"Rules" girls get in here!

I have no idea why I have ignored this thread for so long, maybe it's because I avoid the relationship forum since I'm always single. :look::lol:
I'm going to try to peruse through this thread and see what's up.

I had/have an issue right now. Friend and I attempted to become something more, but during conversations two times his phone cut off on me. I didn't call him for 3 weeks and decided I didn't want to pursue it any longer, and to be honest I didn't even care because the idea of being in a relationship doesn't excite me anyways. My other bff (a girl) said I shouldn't be so hard on him and call him to see what's going on, he may just be acting shy and trying to figure out how to make this work. Looking back that doesn't make any sense since he's been pursuing me for years, but she made me feel guilty so I called, we spoke then he hung up again (I thought it was because he didn't like my responses to his questions about what it means to have a boyfriend). That was over a month ago, I called and text and left messages b/c even though I don't appreciate his actions he is my best friend above all others. His excuse last time was his phone lost all his numbers, I believed him because his phone is a POS, the screen is blank and it's always cutting off, and he had never treated me like that before. This time he hasn't answered or called me back at all. First few attempts it would ring once then voicemail, then his phone was off then it was on and would just ring out so I get the point. He wants to ruin a friendship over not liking my responses during our conversations?:ohwell:

IDK I guess I just wanted to add my situation to the thread.

ETA: For clarification yes I liked him but I had never "chased" anyone so when I finally told my friend what happened (she had no idea about what we had going on until I felt I knew for sure whether we would pursue a romantic relationship or not- I feel some things are best kept between people that are involved) and I said I hadn't called/texted him at all b/c being in a relationship is not important, she told me I was being cold and to reach out to him. So feeling guilty about feeling so indifferent and not taking into account how he may have been feeling I called him, I guess taking her advice was part of what messed things up, who knows.
 
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@Rina88 IMHO men who are interested aren't too shy to pursue. They can be shy, but when they want someone they find the nerve & guts to get Her.

PS No one can make anyone feel guilty w/o consent. I think any guilt-based decision is automatically insalubrious.

If He doesn't try to find You in person in spite of a POS phone, then He is just using his POS phone as an excuse to be a POS friend lol again, just my opinion.

ETA: also, email, fb or other social network probably work regardless of POS phones. I'm just saying it's not the phone convo that's the main red flag I see: it's the communication period. If I wanted to continue a convo that got interrupted by a phone, I'd find another way/method. :yep:
 
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@Rina88 IMHO men who are interested aren't too shy to pursue. They can be shy, but when they want someone they find the nerve & guts to get Her.

PS No one can make anyone feel guilty w/o consent. I think any guilt-based decision is automatically insalubrious.

If He doesn't try to find You in person in spite of a POS phone, then He is just using his POS phone as an excuse to be a POS friend lol again, just my opinion.

ETA: also, email, fb or other social network probably work regardless of POS phones. I'm just saying it's not the phone convo that's the main red flag I see: it's the communication period. If I wanted to continue a convo that got interrupted by a phone, I'd find another way/method. :yep:


varaneka I definately hear you! Me knowing that a man will jump through hoops to get with someone they want is the reason I didn't contact him or figured whatever we had going on was over and I was perfectly fine with that. I suppose speaking to my friend made me second guess my decision to leave it alone. TBH at that point I had pretty much forgotten about it, I've adopted a form of 'no tolerance policy' so when someone doesn't put forth an effort I move on quick. I figured he would have to come around eventually since we've been friends for years.

He knows I get on my facebook only 2-3x a year if that (longest was 2 years not logging on) so phone is the only way to reach me. He's in MD and I'm in NY. I'm upset about this now because I didn't stick to my guns and I'm now left feeling annoyed and confused.
 
Rina88 even my male friends who are platonic I play the Rules on simply bc I feel more in control lol

Is your girl friend single or in a happy "Rules" relationship? (just curious) I know when I was in an unhappy non-Rules relationship, I gave "bad" advice even though it was out of "good" intentions. That's just Me, though. I think I've learned to become more careful about whose advice I listen to and/or act upon.

While I understand why You'd feel annoyed and confused, I think it's not worth your energy to feel that way. This is another reason I play the Rules w/ platonic male friends just in case I start catching feelings LOL bc I used to have those feelings, too! :nono:

Ooo have You read Text Love Power?
 
varaneka No she is single. I haven't read The Rules or Text Love Power. I'm about to order both Why Men Love/Marry B's. Looking through the thread and reading up I've already began to implement some of the Rules without knowing it, just because I'm fed up with guys so I treat them how I want to know. Before I was nice and accomodating as much as possible, now I'm doing what I want to do all the time not even taking into consideration their wants or possible needs.:look: I've basically become much more selfish and uncaring and I know it.

Has the book actually improved anyone's life?
 
Rina88 ohhhhhhh...I used to own WML&MB's (I only lost them bc of a long story lol)

I think You'd love those books

The Rules (all the ones I've read) have helped Me a lot. I haven't put my Self out there much (didn't feel like it) until recently. I am still affirming that I'm married, though, because that is my mission lawl
 
varaneka Text.Love.Power looks very good:yep:, but amazon only has the Kindle version so I'll be going to the bookstore tomorrow. Thanks for the recommendations.
 
Rina88 You're welcome. The author, Vanessa Taylor, gives away her book every now and then on her website for free, too, in case You were feeling lucky hehe
 
Rina88...Yeah, Varaneka is right. :yep:

When men are TRULY interested in a woman, he won't let his shyness keep him down forever. He WILL eventually make a "move"...even if it's a small move. Even if you're "oblivious" to his interest, he will make SURE you know that he's interested. There will be no doubt.

Plus, also think about this: You know how you felt so "guilty" because you were being kind of distant and cold during your phone conversation with him? Well, a guy who is truly INTERESTED in you would feel just as "guilty" that his phone just cut off and hung up on you, and he WOULD find a way to reach you and call you back. Even if (even IF!) he had to use other means of communication. Especially if you've been trying to reach him and call him! :whyme: Why..that's just RUDE to hang up on someone (even mistakenly) and not ever call/contact them back! :nono:

So, yeah....toss this "guy friend" of yours to the side and move on. Whatever "interest" he had in you has probably dissipated by now. If he's genuinely interested in you, you will know. He will emerge from whatever shadows he has been lurking in :sekret: and will come back and willl SHOW you and make it up to you. If he's not doing that, then he is a HUGE waste of time. :nono:

My moto: If a man is interested...you will KNOW. If you're "confused", then he's just not THAT into you. :ohwell:

Btw, "Text Love Power" is a pretty good book. I wish it was more like the beginning of the book though. Towards the middle and end the book started getting a little redundant and confusing to me. :ohwell: But overall, it's a good quick "go-to" manual whenever you find yourself in a "textual" relationship w/a guy. That's why I detest texting from guys who are so-called "getting to know me". Ugh! :wallbash: I think technology has made men incredibly lazy. :nono:
 
I went to B&N yesterday and purchased WMLB/WMMB, I couldn't find the other books though it was in stock, it took me 25 minutes to find the books because their "alphabetical order" is nonexistent (sry had to vent). I've read the first 5 chapters of WMLB and I like it a lot. I can't wait to finish. I'm going to have to order All The Rules though because I'm so curious. I love this thread!
 
I went to B&N yesterday and purchased WMLB/WMMB, I couldn't find the other books though it was in stock, it took me 25 minutes to find the books because their "alphabetical order" is nonexistent (sry had to vent). I've read the first 5 chapters of WMLB and I like it a lot. I can't wait to finish. I'm going to have to order All The Rules though because I'm so curious. I love this thread!

You will LOVE WMLB!! :grin: I love that book. Come to think about it...maybe I need to "Brush up" on my WMLB skills. lol.

I wish there were a book more about "attracting" men and what to do in the ATTRACTION phase instead of the dating phase. WMLB is written in the style of a woman who has already met a great guy, is basically going on a couple of dates w/him already.

What about the rest of us who haven't FOUND anyone yet? :confused:
 
Crystalicequeen123 IMHO The Rules talks about how to attract men by exuding inner and outer beauty. http://TheRulesBook.com

I also appreciate Stilettos in the Kitchen's "When the Queen is Ready, the King Will Appear" chapter (and the entire book is about attracting readiness in all areas of life) http://ShanelCooperSykes.com

Djehuty Ma'at-Ra's Love Manual is amazingggggggggggggg (He's only at http://DHealthStore.com now)

Thanks varaneka. Yeah, I'm definitely familiar with "The Rules" books... Afterall, I'm the one who started this thread! LOL! :giggle:

But imo, sometimes "The Rules" is a little TOO strict for my taste. :look: NEVER looking at a man?? NEVER talking to a man first? ONLY responding to his phone calls once ever 4 times he calls?? :confused: HA! I better hope he calls me a second time, let alone a 4th time after I haven't responded back!

Ummm...I'm sorry, but technology is waaay too advanced these days and I think that most men will find it rude if you don't respond back after 4 different phone calls. :look: I'm not saying a woman should pursue a man (no way :nono:), but that times are just different now. Maybe back in the 80s or early 90's we could have the excuse that we didn't have "caller ID" or we had to WAIT until we got home before we even were able to know that someone called us. But in the age of text messaging, social media, caller ID, and instant gratification....it will be VERY hard to play these types of "games" with a man. :ohwell: Most men would think you're not interested and will just move on. I'm not talking about if you've already established a relationship w/a man and are trying to be more "stealth". I'm talking about a man who got your number recently and is trying to initiate contact. Your not contacting him back after multiple tries would seem like you're not interested. Am I making any sense?

SO...I'm not trying to knock "The Rules" or anything....I think they work and all, but I just need a more modern book like "The Rules" and "WMLB"; but that focuses more on women who are meeting a guy for the first time, or need advice on how to attract men they DO meet. :look: Text Love Power is great and more "modern" imo, but again...it focuses more on women who have already gone on the first date w/the man. What about women who are still single and have no prospects and are just waiting for a man to be interested in them?

"The Rules" are great for giving you self-confidence and teaching you how to increase your "mysterious" vibe, but sometimes (no offense), "The Rules" seem a little TOO hard fast. I sometimes don't feel like I'm being myself when I do the rules hard core like that. It almost makes me come off as snobby or stand offish. :ohwell: Only a man who is either WILDLY attracted to you, or has NO other options (in which case...would you want him anyway??) would be after you like that. Men have other options these days, and unless they've been in love w/you for years...they will probably just move on to a woman who seems interested in them rather than try to hunt you down indefinitely. :ohwell:

Your thoughts? :look:
 
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^Wow @Crystalicequeen123 I was just coming into the thread to say that.
I'll add I just read WMLB, WMMB (The best book ever IMO lol) and the first Rules book (I have All the Rules but don't know if I want to finish :ohwell:).There were so many times I had to put the book down b/c I was thinking it was too ridiculous. I'm glad I read the other 2 first or I would have assumed they were like The Rules and would have never purchased them. I will follow the rules in my own way, more like I will follow the advice of Sherry Argov's books :yep:. I love that the Rules promote self-worth, but at the same time it seems too focused on the guy. She claims it's about you but then turns around and says you're doing this for him and for the benefit of him..uh no. I think that thinking is walking on a fine line and may cause someone to revert back to old ways.
I also felt the Rules gave vague explanations and was rushed. Why should I never say hello even if he does? Why should I keep quiet? Why can't I complain if he does something out of line? (I know not to nag and actions speak louder than words but one example she gave made me furious and left me confused as to why on earth she adviced just letting that slide np). That seems so silly and contrived. Some of her advice really offended me and made me feel she was trying to mold me into a "new age" Stepford wife :wallbash:. The rules themselves are great but the chapters after would make me give her the side-eye. Please tell me Rules II is better :perplexed.

WML/MB's are fantastic I learned so much. They clicked in my head and were a joy to read. The examples were great and the advice seemed much more sound and reasonable. She explains why men need and crave the chase and why it benefitted me. The message is clear, I never felt it was about anything other than my happiness. If I do anything for him it isn't to make him happy, it's done because it makes me happy. I can get down with that.:grin:

I will say the Rules is probably the best starting point so you can quickly get in the habit of being more graceful and empowered and realizing what actions you should take- the basics. But Sherry Argov's books (especially WMMB's :love2: ) will tell you all of that, plus more, and break it down.
 
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^Wow @Crystalicequeen123 I was just coming into the thread to say that.
I'll add I just read WMLB, WMMB (The best book ever IMO lol) and the first Rules book (I have All the Rules but don't know if I want to finish :ohwell:).There were so many times I had to put the book down b/c I was thinking it was too ridiculous. I'm glad I read the other 2 first or I would have assumed they were like The Rules and would have never purchased them. I will follow the rules in my own way, more like I will follow the advice of Sherry Argov's books :yep:. I love that the Rules promote self-worth, but at the same time it seems too focused on the guy. She claims it's about you but then turns around and says you're doing this for him and for the benefit of him..uh no. I think that thinking is walking on a fine line and may cause someone to revert back to old ways.

I also felt the Rules gave vague explanations and was rushed. Why should I never say hello even if he does? Why should I keep quiet? Why can't I complain if he does something out of line? (I know not to nag and actions speak louder than words but one example she gave made me furious and left me confused as to why on earth she adviced just letting that slide np). That seems so silly and contrived. Some of her advice really offended me and made me feel she was trying to mold me into a "new age" Stepford wife :wallbash:. The rules themselves are great but the chapters after would make me give her the side-eye. Please tell me Rules II is better :perplexed.

WML/MB's are fantastic I learned so much. They clicked in my head and were a joy to read. The examples were great and the advice seemed much more sound and reasonable. She explains why men need and crave the chase and why it benefitted me. The message is clear, I never felt it was about anything other than my happiness. If I do anything for him it isn't to make him happy, it's done because it makes me happy. I can get down with that.:grin:

I will say the Rules is probably the best starting point so you can quickly get in the habit of being more graceful and empowered and realizing what actions you should take- the basics. But Sherry Argov's books (especially WMMB's :love2: ) will tell you all of that, plus more, and break it down.

Rina88...... Lol....I agree!! I especially agree with the parts above ^^ in bold. :yep:

Yea, that's the only thing about "The Rules" I didn't like. :nono: I felt like for THIS day and age..."The Rules" aren't really practical in SOME circumstances. They work great for people who don't own a cell phone, or who don't have text messaging, email, etc. But for women THESE days.....ignoring a guy's advances like that would seem so....soo.....RUDE. :ohwell:

It's funny I came to this realization since I'm the one who started this thread! :giggle: I really do like "The Rules" (don't get me wrong), I think they promote self independence, self confidence, having a life, being a "creature" unlike any other lol....etc. BUT...at the same time, I think that you have to be VERY selective with which rules you will do to the letter, and which ones you will do somewhat. For example, I agree that you shouldn't ALWAYS be available to a guy 24/7. But to ignore 3 or 4 phone calls and you two aren't even "official" yet...that's just a bit rude IMO. :imo: How would you like it if even your PLATONIC friends ignored your phone calls??? :confused: After a while you'd stop contacting them!

True, some guys in the past HAVE been persistent and contacted me even when I ignored their phone calls, but usually they were guys I didn't want anyway! So, when a guy has other OPTIONS and is a hot commodity (which is probably alone the lines of what most women want anyway lol), he WILL move on to a woman who's more "receptive" to his interest. :yep:

Idk....I just prefer Sherry Argov's books more. They're more "modern". :yep: I think "The Rules" is like the "stepping stone" and a good "introductory course", but Sherry's books really DRIVE home the point, and her books are humorous and fun to read! She's a riot! :lachen:
 
Well I'm back. My friend I mentioned earlier has contacted me- it's been 3 months since we last spoke. I didn't answer because I was out (and annoyed) and the next day I didn't call because I had work and went to bed as soon as I got home. It's ironic because I had just told my friend the day before about how I haven't heard from him and I was offended. First and foremost he is my bff so him to be so rude had finally rubbed me the wrong way. I went on FB to change my security settings and saw his page and apparently he has a phone b/c his ex (or current IDK) wrote on his page that she's sry her phone died and asking when he's coming down her way. The very next day he calls me so I guessed my friend had tipped him off, but he contacted her for my number (he has a new number now). She told him I was upset, so he called and texted for a while and left a message saying he doesn't know why I'd think he was upset and saying he got a new phone and has been busy with work.


Ok. When I read and heard that I was thinking "Oh wow now it was just a coincidence that you've disappeared on me twice for 4 of the last 5 months"? I'm suppose to buy that him disappearing again has nothing to do with our last convo. Ok, fine. So now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and decided if it isn't the truth I'm just going to relax, since I tend to be sensitive. So here I am in idc mode.

Hopefully I return his call sometime this week . When I call of course we're going to have to lay this out. :rolleyes: I just don't feel like talking to him. I can't really explain why, I just feel uncomfortable now. At this point he knows I'm avoiding him but he probably thinks it's b/c I'm mad- I was for a couple of hrs and I got over it but I just don't want to deal with explaining anything to him. TBH I don't want to do deal with this crud anymore. I'm exhausted at the thought of our possible convo, that's why I don't even know when I will contact him.

Sooo ladies any input? Lay it on me.
 
Well in my experience you have to leave an impression and stroke a man's ego before leaving him the chase,if you don't chances are he wont follow you anywhere. Be well groomed,go with the flow and you ll figure out whether is a keeper or not.men like a challenge but they kno u playing games ,the best method is the carrot and the stick
 
Hey Ladies,

I hope this thread is still active :D
I wanna join this challenge. I read the Rules book five years ago in high school and it's always affected the way I see male/female dynamics. I don't think I will be following it perfectly. But, I do want to give it a try.

1) Why are you personally participating in "The Rules" challenge?
I believe God will send me my match in His perfect timing. In the mean time, I don't want to pursue luke warm men. The Rules help me avoid being the "hunter" and inevitably getting hurt.

2) How long do you plan on doing the challenge?
I'm not sure. I definitely don't believe a woman should ever chase a man.

3) Has pursuing men worked for you in the past? Yes? No? (Feel free to explain/elaborate if you wish)
I've technically have pursued a man one time and it definitely was PAINFUL.

4) What do you hope to gain by participating in "The Rules" Challenge?
I don't ever want to place a man as an idol in my life. Doing the rules helps me to keep my first things first. I want a man that will be honored just to hold my hand. I want a man that will want to be near me as much as possible. I want to feel secure and let HIM do all the worrying. Its time for me to view myself as a prize.

5) When are you starting the challenge?
Today!
 
are the rules universal to all men or will some men in some cultures just not get it? for example could the rules work on an african man effectively?
 
Hey Ladies,

I hope this thread is still active :D
I wanna join this challenge. I read the Rules book five years ago in high school and it's always affected the way I see male/female dynamics. I don't think I will be following it perfectly. But, I do want to give it a try.

1) Why are you personally participating in "The Rules" challenge?
I believe God will send me my match in His perfect timing. In the mean time, I don't want to pursue luke warm men. The Rules help me avoid being the "hunter" and inevitably getting hurt.

2) How long do you plan on doing the challenge?
I'm not sure. I definitely don't believe a woman should ever chase a man.

3) Has pursuing men worked for you in the past? Yes? No? (Feel free to explain/elaborate if you wish)
I've technically have pursued a man one time and it definitely was PAINFUL.

4) What do you hope to gain by participating in "The Rules" Challenge?
I don't ever want to place a man as an idol in my life. Doing the rules helps me to keep my first things first. I want a man that will be honored just to hold my hand. I want a man that will want to be near me as much as possible. I want to feel secure and let HIM do all the worrying. Its time for me to view myself as a prize.

5) When are you starting the challenge?
Today!

Could not have said this better myself! Off to read the thread.

From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen:(
 
are the rules universal to all men or will some men in some cultures just not get it? for example could the rules work on an african man effectively?

Definitely! The rules are biological. Unless, the man is weak:lachen: Otherwise, all men are created to chase.
 
Blogs from Author Vanessa Taylor of Text Love Power:

Snooki Snagged a Great Guy -- How We Know Jionni LaValle's a Catch!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/snooki-snagged-great-guy-how-we-know.html

Drake Interview with "GQ" Will Make a Woman Think Twice about Having a One-Night Stand!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/drake-interview-with-gq-will-make-woman.html

Rihanna Initiated Music Collaboration with Chris Brown -- Why You Shouldn't Contact an Ex for Favors!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/rihanna-initiated-with-chris-brown-for.html

Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart Embody Class -- How Class Will Land You a Quality Man!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/jennifer-lawrence-and-kristen-stewart.html
 
Blogs from Author Vanessa Taylor of Text Love Power:

Snooki Snagged a Great Guy -- How We Know Jionni LaValle's a Catch!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/snooki-snagged-great-guy-how-we-know.html

Drake Interview with "GQ" Will Make a Woman Think Twice about Having a One-Night Stand!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/drake-interview-with-gq-will-make-woman.html

Rihanna Initiated Music Collaboration with Chris Brown -- Why You Shouldn't Contact an Ex for Favors!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/rihanna-initiated-with-chris-brown-for.html

Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart Embody Class -- How Class Will Land You a Quality Man!
http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/03/jennifer-lawrence-and-kristen-stewart.html

varaneka
These were GREAT articles that were very interesting to read! :yep:

Thanks for sharing! :)
 
You're welcome Crystalicequeen123 I'm glad you liked em

I just read the blogger's book TLP

It's great & so are her blogs

varaneka
Yes! I have her book too! It's great! It's almost like a "Rules" version for those of us in the 21st Century with all of this new technology and stuff like texting, online dating, emailing, etc. I found it very informative. :yep:

Is it just me though, or was I the only one a little dissapointed in the rest of the book? Like for me, I think her intro and first few chapters were EXCELLENT. :yep: In fact, they reminded me a little bit of WMLB..and I LOVED that book! :grin: But towards the middle of the book and the later chapters I just felt like....idk...like the book started becoming a bit TOO redundant. :perplexed It almost kind of lost its "luster" imo towards the end. I really wanted her to get DEEPER and to give more general advice...because Idk about other women, but don't live on my cell phone...and a man who is trying to get to "know" me through text is going to fail pretty miserably. :ohwell:
 
Crystalicequeen123 there were some things I didn't go through in the book but I know lots of women probably do, so I think the rest of the book was catered to various experiences

I have nothing but good things to say to her though

I just had a little consultation with her yesterday and she was veryyyyyyyy helpful! love her answers to my questions
 
Crystalicequeen123 there were some things I didn't go through in the book but I know lots of women probably do, so I think the rest of the book was catered to various experiences

I have nothing but good things to say to her though

I just had a little consultation with her yesterday and she was veryyyyyyyy helpful! love her answers to my questions

Wow! A PRIVATE consultation with her? Cool beans! :grin:

How much did it cost?? :look: Or...what was the price range?
 
"Rules Girls"!! There is a NEW "Rules" Book! :yep:


I haven't been on this thread in AGES, but I figured you all might be interested....:look: Especially seeing as how technology and dating "couth" has changed somewhat...:giggle:


"Are you tired of guys texting you or friending or messaging you on Facebook, but not asking you out??"

"Have you heard of The Rules, but are not sure how to apply these dating secrets to today’s technologies?"

"Do you wonder why some women who are not even as pretty or smart or nice as you get the guys, and you don’t?"

"Do you suspect that you are doing something wrong, but are not sure what?"



Hmmmmm....this new book may be worth a read!! :yep: I'm definitely going to check it out lol... :popcorn:

Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating (The Rules)
 
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