*Spinoff* "The Rules Challenge!--"Rules" girls get in here!

Um...ok...so my ex suddenly called me out of the blue. So I decided to use the rules on him and cut the convo to only 10 mins. He was all excited to talk to me, meanwhile I was just sitting painting my nails. Once the 10 min mark hit, I told him I had a long day and had to get going. You know this guy started stuttering and then mentioned that his brother got into a car accident. Of course at this point I couldn't just hang up (that would be too mean) and I did care so I had to spend another few minutes asking if he was ok and everything (he is)

I have this underlying suspicion that he did that to keep me on longer. I could tell he wanted to still talk to me. Whatever:rolleyes:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Haha... has it worked for you?? Or...no? :look:
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lmao! Yes it has. That's just my personality though, I didn't even know I was following rules. Usually if a guy asks me out, I'll tell him that I've already made plans that weekend (whether I have or haven't). Then I'll either tell him that we can do it the next weekend or that I'll call him to see if I could do it the next weekend. Depends on how cocky the guy is. lol. That's just something I've always done, along with a whole lot of other stuff. I like to keep men on their toes.
 
SpeechieGirl said:
Um...ok...so my ex suddenly called me out of the blue. So I decided to use the rules on him and cut the convo to only 10 mins. He was all excited to talk to me, meanwhile I was just sitting painting my nails. Once the 10 min mark hit, I told him I had a long day and had to get going. You know this guy started stuttering and then mentioned that his brother got into a car accident. Of course at this point I couldn't just hang up (that would be too mean) and I did care so I had to spend another few minutes asking if he was ok and everything (he is)

I have this underlying suspicion that he did that to keep me on longer. I could tell he wanted to still talk to me. Whatever:rolleyes:
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:lachen::lachen::lachen:You had him stuttering? Works doesnt it??
 
SpeechieGirl said:
I have this underlying suspicion that he did that to keep me on longer. I could tell he wanted to still talk to me. Whatever:rolleyes:
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Yeah, cause he coulda told you about his brother very early in the conversation.

Shoot, if my brother was in an accident, that would be the main thing I'd be talking about!



Funny how interested he seems to be in a supposedly not-pretty-enough-to-be-a-girlfriend type, right? ;)
 
So....any updates ladies?? :look:

I don't really have an "update" per se...

But I just wanted to say that I'm feeling so much BETTER now days ever since I've decided to fully let go of that "guy friend" of mine that I used to sweat. :rolleyes: I still care about him and stuff, and maybe he was my first "true love", but I have definitely let him GO and am leaving things up to God where he is concerened. Plus, he's off-limits now anyway!

So anyway, I've just been doing some things for MYSELF for a change, reading books, watching movies, getting my hair and nails done, and I've been loving it! :D I'll be going out with some girl friends of mine this weekend to catch up and have fun, and I can't wait! :D :D

I don't know why but for the first week in 3 years I actually feel really REALLY good! Before I felt so anxious about my guy friend, or some other guy I was liking, and just basically feeling like I had to be in a relationship or engaged by next Tuesday, otherwise I was a "special case". But guess what?? NOW I don't feel that way anymore! :nono:

Now I'm feeling more care-free and alive than I have been feeling in a long long time. I just feel more positive and FREE. I always tried to look at the positive side, but now days I feel like I'm actually succeeding. I think what helped was actually being genuinely happy for others in relationships, and just knowing in the back of my mind that MY time will come eventually. :yep: I can almost feel/sense that my upbeat and positive nature will be attracting someone to me soon! ;) I feel almost like my "old self" again.

I'll be re-reading "the Rules" maybe next week, just to give me a bit of a refresher course. But one thing I've learned is that while it is good to keep most of "The Rules" principles in the back of your mind, it really is BEST to just be yourself too. You don't want to be worrying so much about "The Rules" that you end up being fake/phony. :nono: That's almost counterintuitive to the rules in the first place. You want to be so content with yourself and your life, that a guy has to come and almost pry you away from your already happening life! ;)

So, I have a few pointers in my back pocket to remember, but overall I'm just being MYSELF. I've realized too that when someone is "right" for you, things are effortless. THere's no pain, frustration, heartache, worrying, anxiety, playing games, etc. There's NONE of that. I see my friend and how things are just so "easy" with her new bf. :) She doesn't worry about whether or not he will call her like she used to worry about with those other guys she was interested in in the past who weren't serious and who she had to practically hunt down to talk with. :( She doesn't worry about calling her new bf "too much" for fear that he'll run away. She just calls/texts him when she feels like it! So, when a guy is really into you, there's very little you can do to "scare" him away. Unless...of course he's not healthy w/relationships. Her life has done a complete 180! So, I know it's possible for me too. :yep:

I have now realized that I don't want a guy who can't pursue a woman the correct way. :nono: I now feel like I believe in myself much more and have more self respect so I will not be chasing after any guy. I won't even try to make things TOO easy for him either. I've basically realized that guys pretty much go for what they want. Yes...even the so-called "Shy" ones. They WILL find a way! :lol: So....for the time being, I'm chilling, relaxing, and enjoying my single self! :up:

Who knows how long this "good" positive outlook will last (maybe until the monthly red devil shows up lol :giggle: )...but from now on I'm choosing to look on the "brighter" side of things. ;)
 
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Crystalicequeen123 said:
So....any updates ladies?? :look:

I don't really have an "update" per se...

But I just wanted to say that I'm feeling so much BETTER now days ever since I've decided to fully let go of that "guy friend" of mine that I used to sweat. :rolleyes: I still care about him and stuff, and maybe he was my first "true love", but I have definitely let him GO and am leaving things up to God where he is concerened. Plus, he's off-limits now anyway!

So anyway, I've just been doing some things for MYSELF for a change, reading books, watching movies, getting my hair and nails done, and I've been loving it! :D I'll be going out with some girl friends of mine this weekend to catch up and have fun, and I can't wait! :D :D

I don't know why but for the first week in 3 years I actually feel really REALLY good! Before I felt so anxious about my guy friend, or some other guy I was liking, and just basically feeling like I had to be in a relationship or engaged by next Tuesday, otherwise I was a "special case". But guess what?? NOW I don't feel that way anymore! :nono:

Now I'm feeling more care-free and alive than I have been feeling in a long long time. I just feel more positive and FREE. I always tried to look at the positive side, but now days I feel like I'm actually succeeding. I think what helped was actually being genuinely happy for others in relationships, and just knowing in the back of my mind that MY time will come eventually. :yep: I can almost feel/sense that my upbeat and positive nature will be attracting someone to me soon! ;) I feel almost like my "old self" again.

I'll be re-reading "the Rules" maybe next week, just to give me a bit of a refresher course. But one thing I've learned is that while it is good to keep most of "The Rules" principles in the back of your mind, it really is BEST to just be yourself too. You don't want to be worrying so much about "The Rules" that you end up being fake/phony. :nono: That's almost counterintuitive to the rules in the first place. You want to be so content with yourself and your life, that a guy has to come and almost pry you away from your already happening life! ;)

So, I have a few pointers in my back pocket to remember, but overall I'm just being MYSELF. I've realized too that when someone is "right" for you, things are effortless. THere's no pain, frustration, heartache, worrying, anxiety, playing games, etc. There's NONE of that. I see my friend and how things are just so "easy" with her new bf. :) She doesn't worry about whether or not he will call her like she used to worry about with those other guys she was interested in in the past who weren't serious and who she had to practically hunt down to talk with. :( She doesn't worry about calling her new bf "too much" for fear that he'll run away. She just calls/texts him when she feels like it! So, when a guy is really into you, there's very little you can do to "scare" him away. Unless...of course he's not healthy w/relationships. Her life has done a complete 180! So, I know it's possible for me too. :yep:

I have now realized that I don't want a guy who can't pursue a woman the correct way. :nono: I now feel like I believe in myself much more and have more self respect so I will not be chasing after any guy. I won't even try to make things TOO easy for him either. I've basically realized that guys pretty much go for what they want. Yes...even the so-called "Shy" ones. They WILL find a way! :lol: So....for the time being, I'm chilling, relaxing, and enjoying my single self! :up:

Who knows how long this "good" positive outlook will last (maybe until the monthly red devil shows up lol :giggle: )...but from now on I'm choosing to look on the "brighter" side of things. ;)
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Congratulations girl! That's what the Rules are all about...having a great relationship with yourself, and when the guys come around (which they naturally will because they sense your confidence), you will know how to set boudaries. I've been doing the same thing - hanging out with mysellf and my with girls, doing new things, going to new places, learning new skills, and loving it!
 
Jade Feria said:
Congratulations girl! That's what the Rules are all about...having a great relationship with yourself, and when the guys come around (which they naturally will because they sense your confidence), you will know how to set boudaries. I've been doing the same thing - hanging out with mysellf and my with girls, doing new things, going to new places, learning new skills, and loving it!
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Thanks!! :)

Yep, this is going to be my motto. Loving MYSELF first! :yep: I've gotten into more things now days. I had put my love for music to the side, but I think I'm going to pick it back up and play my piano again. :yep: Also, I've gotten into reading more books (not just on relationships!! :giggle: ), novels, the bible, etc. and it seems to be doing me a world of good. Before, I had become so focused on reading about relationships, and "how to catch a man" and I think it just made me more and more anxious for a relationship, etc. But now days, I have gotten back into reading the novels and stories that I love.

I've also tried to start exercising again, and have gotten into watching MOVIES! I always loved movies, but now days I'm watching movies on tv, or renting movies...new AND old classics, and I'm just having a ball! :D Now that the weather is much nicer, I've been going out with girl friends of mine. We've been going to museums, having ladies night, or just meeting at a cafe to sit and talk. I've rediscovered my love for the "arts", so I even go to art galleries by myself if I feel like it! Lately I've been having fun!

So yeah...focusing on yourself really does work. ;) :up:
 
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lol....

Okay this isn't an update...just a short funny blurb.

I was on the train this morning on my way to work, and I was reading my "Rules" book, when this guy comes and sits down next to me on the train. I didn't think anything of it, so I just kept reading. He didn't say anything either and for many stops we just sat down in silence next to each other. Then, later on I see him peeking over looking down at my book to see what I was reading!!!! :blush: I just kind of turned the book more towards my way so that he wouldn't read my "secret" handbook. :giggle:

Then, after a minute or two, he asks me:

Man: "Can I see the cover of that book?"
Me: "Huh???"
Man: "I just wanted to read the cover"
Me: (thank goodness my "Rules" cover has long since torn off---yes...it's THAT old and well-read. :lol: LOL!) *Turn book over to front*
Man: "Rules II??"
Me: "Yeah, Rules II" :look:
Man: "Oh..." :scratchch "Is that a good book?"
Me: "Yeah, it's pretty good!"
Man: "Hmm..." (still thinking)
Me: "Oh, but it's more so for women...not for men" lol
Man: "Oh well yeah I can see that!" *snickers* then *smiles and looks down*
Me: (Thinking: "Ummm...okaaaay?? What was that all about??")

I don't know...that was just a weird interaction! It almost made me wonder just WHAT he had read in the book that caused him to be so curious!! I didn't ask him to be so nosy and peek over my shoulder at what I was reading. Sheesh! This book is to be hidden from men! They shouldn't be knowing what we're doing. lol

His reaction also made me think....I wonder what MEN think about the book "The Rules"?? Do they scoff and shake their heads at it? Do they think it's hogwash? Or, do some of them actually agree with some of the principles? Hmm..... :scratchch

I think from now on I'll either refrain from reading that book on the train, or I'll only read it when I'm sitting down next to women. :lol:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
lol....

Okay this isn't an update...just a short funny blurb.

I was on the train this morning on my way to work, and I was reading my "Rules" book, when this guy comes and sits down next to me on the train. I didn't think anything of it, so I just kept reading. He didn't say anything either and for many stops we just sat down in silence next to each other. Then, later on I see him peeking over looking down at my book to see what I was reading!!!! :blush: I just kind of turned the book more towards my way so that he wouldn't read my "secret" handbook. :giggle:

Then, after a minute or two, he asks me:

Man: "Can I see the cover of that book?"
Me: "Huh???"
Man: "I just wanted to read the cover"
Me: (thank goodness my "Rules" cover has long since torn off---yes...it's THAT old and well-read. :lol: LOL!) *Turn book over to front*
Man: "Rules II??"
Me: "Yeah, Rules II" :look:
Man: "Oh..." :scratchch "Is that a good book?"
Me: "Yeah, it's pretty good!"
Man: "Hmm..." (still thinking)
Me: "Oh, but it's more so for women...not for men" lol
Man: "Oh well yeah I can see that!" *snickers* then *smiles and looks down*
Me: (Thinking: "Ummm...okaaaay?? What was that all about??")

I don't know...that was just a weird interaction! It almost made me wonder just WHAT he had read in the book that caused him to be so curious!! I didn't ask him to be so nosy and peek over my shoulder at what I was reading. Sheesh! This book is to be hidden from men! They shouldn't be knowing what we're doing. lol

His reaction also made me think....I wonder what MEN think about the book "The Rules"?? Do they scoff and shake their heads at it? Do they think it's hogwash? Or, do some of them actually agree with some of the principles? Hmm..... :scratchch

I think from now on I'll either refrain from reading that book on the train, or I'll only read it when I'm sitting down next to women. :lol:
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LOL!!!!!! Oh my goodness! I keep that book on LOCK DOWN! I never let people see the cover - expecially not men!! Even when I'm reading it i arrange the book so that people can't really see the words that I'm reading. I know in the book the authors said that most men agree with it. However...most men also don't want us knowing the secrets to how to make them BEHAVE themselves! LOL! So for that, the playbook is under wraps!

Also good, the movie Two Can Play That Game. What Morris Chestnut's friend was saying makes sense to this point also...if women knew all the tricks to making their men behave, THEY (the men) would be the ones cooking dinner and cleaning up around the house. And that's what they think they don't want (but probably secretly do!)
 
Jade Feria said:
LOL!!!!!! Oh my goodness! I keep that book on LOCK DOWN! I never let people see the cover - expecially not men!! Even when I'm reading it i arrange the book so that people can't really see the words that I'm reading. I know in the book the authors said that most men agree with it. However...most men also don't want us knowing the secrets to how to make them BEHAVE themselves! LOL! So for that, the playbook is under wraps!

Also good, the movie Two Can Play That Game. What Morris Chestnut's friend was saying makes sense to this point also...if women knew all the tricks to making their men behave, THEY (the men) would be the ones cooking dinner and cleaning up around the house. And that's what they think they don't want (but probably secretly do!)
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LOL!! :lol: I know I know Jade! I don't know what came over me that day! I guess I was just feeling like I could let my guard down and allow the "playbook" to be out in the open! Lol...I should have treated it like the noc list! ROTFL!! :rofl: I didn't really expect strangers to be reading over my shoulder on a train on the way to work anyway. Go figure. :nono:

Oh well, I now know better for the future. I will only be reading that book around women. :yep: Otherwise, I'm keeping that book under wraps in public. ;)
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
LOL!! :lol: I know I know Jade! I don't know what came over me that day! I guess I was just feeling like I could let my guard down and allow the "playbook" to be out in the open! Lol...I should have treated it like the noc list! ROTFL!! :rofl: I didn't really expect strangers to be reading over my shoulder on a train on the way to work anyway. Go figure. :nono:

Oh well, I now know better for the future. I will only be reading that book around women. :yep: Otherwise, I'm keeping that book under wraps in public. ;)
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:lol: :lol: :lol: It's cool, as long as that's not the guy you're dating! LOL!
 
*bumpity bump* Just checking for updates...

Anyone still doing "The Rules"?? :look: LOL....

Idk...I go back and forth between avidly doing "The Rules", and then breaking some... :ohwell: Sometimes I feel like: "hey, it's 2009 for goodness sakes! I can make the first move on a guy if I feel like it!" But then...when it doesn't exactly work to my advantage, I end up feeling bad: "Man...I should have done the rules!!" :wallbash:

So, Idk... I haven't snagged a guy yet though so.... Idk... :look:
 
^^Hey girl! How's it going?

I'm still doing 'The Rules' I guess, though the sports season is fast approaching and I won't have much time for dating unless he's willing to watch games with me :rolleyes:. Just enjoying life basically and if a guy comes my way--that's great!

Now what rules have you broken? Dish!
 
BroadstreetBully said:
^^Hey girl! How's it going?

I'm still doing 'The Rules' I guess, though the sports season is fast approaching and I won't have much time for dating unless he's willing to watch games with me :rolleyes:. Just enjoying life basically and if a guy comes my way--that's great!

Now what rules have you broken? Dish!
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Hey girl! :wave: Did you get my PM??

Anyway,

I haven't broken any "major" rules I guess (ie. asking a guy out first, initiating the first call/text with a guy, etc), but I did sort of approach a guy first recently. Even though he was nice, I just sense that a woman approaching a guy first just doesn't bring out the BEST in a man. And meanwhile, I end up feeling so "unfulfilled"... :ohwell:

So, on the one hand, I DO completely agree with "The Rules", but on the other hand I guess I'm just getting a little impatient :look:

You on the other hand seem to be doing great!! :up: Keep up the good work!

Oh yeah Football season is fast approaching. I can't wait! I think I'm going to try to get into it more this year. I have to admit, I end up enjoying to watch it more and more every year.
 
Hello ladies!

Just checking in!

Does anyone have any new updates?? :look:

I've been going back through this thread again (whew! it's long! :lol: ), and I've just been re-reading some of the great experiences and "lightbulb" moments I've had just reading them! I'm going back to being a "Rules Girl". :yep: I'm trying it again. I had a few minor set-backs recently, but I'm getting my book out again, and I've been reading it. I feel so empowered again! :D

I want to know though what came of some of the relationships/ or updates of some of you ladies??! MZLady, Weaveologist, Bunny, MizAvalon, SimpleKomplexity, BroadstreetBully, CurliDiva, etc.......ANYONE?? Where are my "rules girls" at?? :lachen: I want to know what happened to your experiences? Anyone still doing "the Rules"? ARe they still working for you?

I actually have 3 different events to go to this weekend, and I'm planning on doing "The Rules" at each and every one of them! :giggle: I've got bowling or live music on Friday, a cookout Saturday, a Wedding on Sunday, and MAYBE on a group outing with some friends on Monday. But anyway, this weekend is going to be busy busy busy! I love it! :grin: You best better believe I'm going to try on "the Rules" for size again.

Now that the infamous "guy friend" is out of the picture and dating someone else, I'm focusing my time and energy on myself and allowing my boyfriend ("in waiting" :giggle: ) to find ME! I don't know why...but I just feel like something (or someone!) is right around the corner for me.


PS---I have a question for you "rules ladies" out there...

Is it okay if we encourage a friend of ours to invite a particular guy to a party that we've been invited to??? *Backstory*: There's this guy friend of mine (no...not that one :rolleyes: ) that has invited me somewhere with a group of friends, and I'm supposed to be going. Well, about a year earlier...or maybe even TWO years ago, this same guy friend invited me to a party over his house, and there I met this guy who I thought was kind of cute, and really nice. It was pretty obvious that he was interested in me, but at the time (silly me) I was still "in love" with my infamous guy friend, and so I didn't really give this guy a chance.

Well, now that I've *ahem* "matured" a little bit, and have pretty much moved on from the other "guy friend", I really want a good, genuinely NICE guy that I'm also attracted to. I recently saw this guy that I had met at the party a couple of years ago on facebook, so that's how I was reminded of him: "Oh yeah...he was nice...he was cute...AND most importantly, he seemed interested in me, and was the first to approach ME.

So...I guess my question is: Is it "rulesy" to ask my guy friend about this guy, and kind of hint to him to invite him the next time he does a group activity/outing with friends? Or, would this be (yet again) trying to "make things happen"?? :ohwell: The only problem I guess is that I run the risk of my guy friend telling this guy that I'm kind of "interested" or that I asked him to invite him. But, this guy isn't even close friends w/my guy friend! Plus...who would do something like that?? :confused: We're not in middle school! LOL!


Anyway....ladies...your thoughts?? :look:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
PS---I have a question for you "rules ladies" out there...

Is it okay if we encourage a friend of ours to invite a particular guy to a party that we've been invited to??? :look:
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It is against every rule in the book to do what you're thinking! LOL

I'm not even a "rules" girl and I know this! At the end of the day, if you want to chuck the rules and be forward, just be upfront and ask the guy to come by the party.

However, if you want the ultimate satisfaction of knowing that this guy is truly interested in you, then let him come to you on his own. If he's really into you, then he doesn't need your "encouragement" at all.

Don't let impatience ruin a perfectly timed romance. The man for you is on his way and it is up to you to remain confident enough in your attractiveness/appeal that you don't succumb to rash behavior.

I know this is hard and I have done the same thing you desire to do-- kick the rules to wind and hit on a guy and encourage him to ask me out, etc. It has never made me feel confident about the relationship in the end. Right now, I'm following my own abridged version of the rules and letting a guy that I like too much slowly come to me on his own. There isn't much progress, but I notice a marked difference in how much more interested in me he has become since I limit my interactions with him.

It takes a lot of maturity, patience and self confidence not to try to force a man's hand and get him to ask you out, but the end result is well worth it. Let the man be a man. If he wants you, he will come when he's ready.
 
Xerxes said:
It is against every rule in the book to do what you're thinking! LOL

I'm not even a "rules" girl and I know this! At the end of the day, if you want to chuck the rules and be forward, just be upfront and ask the guy to come by the party.

However, if you want the ultimate satisfaction of knowing that this guy is truly interested in you, then let him come to you on his own. If he's really into you, then he doesn't need your "encouragement" at all.

Don't let impatience ruin a perfectly timed romance. The man for you is on his way and it is up to you to remain confident enough in your attractiveness/appeal that you don't succumb to rash behavior.

I know this is hard and I have done the same thing you desire to do-- kick the rules to wind and hit on a guy and encourage him to ask me out, etc. It has never made me feel confident about the relationship in the end. Right now, I'm following my own abridged version of the rules and letting a guy that I like too much slowly come to me on his own. There isn't much progress, but I notice a marked difference in how much more interested in me he has become since I limit my interactions with him.

It takes a lot of maturity, patience and self confidence not to try to force a man's hand and get him to ask you out, but the end result is well worth it. Let the man be a man. If he wants you, he will come when he's ready.
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LOL...thanks Xerxes... :yep:

But maybe I didn't really clarify what I meant. :look:

I wanted to ask my GUY friend (strictly platonic) if he could also include his friend (a guy I met a while back at a party of his) when we all go to x, y, z. He doesn't have to actually tell the guy: "hey man...come to my house for a party cuz Crystal's been asking about you blah blah blah...." :blah: No!! :lachen:

I just want to give him the opportunity to BE there, so that when he's there, I can do "The Rules" and see if he still has any interest in me. Call it a "coincidental" meeting if you will. :giggle: Trust me, if we do happen to be in the same vicinity again, I will be my nice lady-like rules girl self and I WON'T approach him, or make the first move. But I thought that the rules were about being in situations where MEN will be. I'm just trying to *ahem* "maneuver" things so that a certain particular man that WAS interested in me (btw) could have a chance to see me again and go from there!

:giggle: I know this is sounding so convoluted! But hopefully you all know what I meant now.

Is this STILL against "The Rules"?? :look:

How am I supposed to find eligible men if I've pretty much cut off all my guy friends and I'm not making any "moves" on any guys!?!?!? LOL!!! :lol: :lachen: I'm sorry...but this is too hilarious.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Hello ladies!

Just checking in!

Does anyone have any new updates?? :look:

I've been going back through this thread again (whew! it's long! :lol: ), and I've just been re-reading some of the great experiences and "lightbulb" moments I've had just reading them! I'm going back to being a "Rules Girl". :yep: I'm trying it again. I had a few minor set-backs recently, but I'm getting my book out again, and I've been reading it. I feel so empowered again! :D

I want to know though what came of some of the relationships/ or updates of some of you ladies??! MZLady, Weaveologist, Bunny, MizAvalon, SimpleKomplexity, BroadstreetBully, CurliDiva, etc.......ANYONE?? Where are my "rules girls" at?? :lachen: I want to know what happened to your experiences? Anyone still doing "the Rules"? ARe they still working for you?
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Hi! :wave:

Well, the person I posted about earlier in this thread is still around, and things are still going well... we're approaching five months, so it's all good!

The thing is, HE made all the moves so quickly... I didn't even have to think about the "Rules" all that much, but I did follow them... he did the majority of the calling (still does), we plan dates way in advance (and he suggests them), he pays on dates, etc.

With a guy who is truly interested, it's so easy to follow the Rules, it seems! :)


Is it okay if we encourage a friend of ours to invite a particular guy to a party that we've been invited to???
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My thoughts... yes, it's fine. There is a woman named Rachel Greenwald who writes some dating books (and she's married), and she threw dinner parties at her house frequently in an effort to meet men. There was one that she liked in particular, and she found a way to make sure that he got an invitation (through a friend), since she really didn't know him. They met, and well, the rest is history!

Now, if he comes to the party, be flirty and fun, but not all up in his face. (But you know that). Talk to a whole lot of guys/women, etc... and if he is interested, he should approach you before he leaves that night to ask for your number.

I don't think the Rules tell you not to be in the presence of men or avoid doing things that could deliberately put yourself in the path to meet men, but simply not to "chase" the men you're around.
 
Hey ladies!

Well let's see, there is a guy I'm actually feeling! That's a new one because most of these guys around here are not my type. I'm around a lot of good looking, decent guys...but the intellectual chemistry is lacking and physical attraction isn't enough.

As for the guy, I'm not sure if I can see it going anywhere as there is a rather large age difference and my last such relationship didn't work out because of just that. However, I'm just excited to know that such guys exist. I LOVE his personality, he's so funny and he is EXTREMELY intelligent. He's done various research in the AI and medical field. It's good to know I can actually be interested in a guy to this extent, even if HE is not 'the one'. I'm hoping to find someone like him who is a little more fit for me. In the meantime I do wonder if he'll make a move . He's yet another 'starer' and that irks me. If he's interested, he'll approach....if not, well there's plenty more where that came from.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
*bumpity bump* Just checking for updates...

Anyone still doing "The Rules"?? :look: LOL....

Idk...I go back and forth between avidly doing "The Rules", and then breaking some... :ohwell: Sometimes I feel like: "hey, it's 2009 for goodness sakes! I can make the first move on a guy if I feel like it!" But then...when it doesn't exactly work to my advantage, I end up feeling bad: "Man...I should have done the rules!!" :wallbash:

So, Idk... I haven't snagged a guy yet though so.... Idk... :look:
Click to expand...

Well (clears throat) So I believe I wrote that my girfriend lent me this book and WMLB. I remember TR back when it first came out and I thought it was a little silly. So fast foward 10 years :perplexed. I left a long term relationship where I was breaking plenty of rules and doing nice girl things. I needed a fresh start/ approach when I jumped back into dating. Honestly this book was just what I needed to "keep my head" so to speak. There have been specific situations where I followed the rules even though I had urges to do otherwise, and that saved me unscathed from two "he's just not that into you" guys.

Now I recently met a very nice cute guy. It's still very early so who knows what will happen but it's very refreshing that he is operating in rules mode. I'm not really "doing" the rules he just does what he's supposed to do. (Maybe he read the book too IDK :lachen:. But he asks me out on dates at the end of the date we're on. He plans nice dates and pays (and declined my tip offer). He calls just to say hello, see how I'm doing and to give me details for the next date. I'm trying my best to keep a level head and find out about him gradually. We'll see. Regardless I'm keeping the rules. :look:
 
Carrie A said:
Well (clears throat) So I believe I wrote that my girfriend lent me this book and WMLB. I remember TR back when it first came out and I thought it was a little silly. So fast foward 10 years :perplexed. I left a long term relationship where I was breaking plenty of rules and doing nice girl things. I needed a fresh start/ approach when I jumped back into dating. Honestly this book was just what I needed to "keep my head" so to speak. There have been specific situations where I followed the rules even though I had urges to do otherwise, and that saved me unscathed from two "he's just not that into you" guys.

Now I recently met a very nice cute guy. It's still very early so who knows what will happen but it's very refreshing that he is operating in rules mode. I'm not really "doing" the rules he just does what he's supposed to do. (Maybe he read the book too IDK :lachen:. But he asks me out on dates at the end of the date we're on. He plans nice dates and pays (and declined my tip offer). He calls just to say hello, see how I'm doing and to give me details for the next date. I'm trying my best to keep a level head and find out about him gradually. We'll see. Regardless I'm keeping the rules. :look:
Click to expand...

Thanks for your story Carrie!

Oh trust me girl...I thought "the Rules" book was a bunch of rubbish too when I first bought it about 2 or 3 years ago. I laughed and stared in disbelief at a lot of the "rules"...especially the one about "never call a man and RARELY even return his phone calls" :lachen:

But trust me....I learned my lesson after 3 years. I'm back to being a "Rules Girl". :yep:

I'm so glad things seem to be working out for you. Isn't it great when a man pursues YOU and he's acting right? lol*

Just a question...how did "TR" help save you from "he's just not that into you" situations? What signs did you see? What happened?? If you don't mind me asking... :look: Because that's what I'm trying to avoid. I don't want another HJNTIY situation in my life.
 
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