shynessqueen
New Member
Glamourous said:
ITA but The woman also should know karma doesn't forget your name.
SPINOFF: IS the other woman also to blame if a man cheats on his SO/WIFE?
- Thread starter Kurlee
- Start date
ITA but The woman also should know karma doesn't forget your name.
Shimmie said:I agree Lady D, for they are not trustworthy. And you feel so awkward when you are around their spouse or their SO.
I think it's sad that family put up with relatives bring their other women, other men around. My family knows if you are cheating, you better hope I don't find out.
I can't allow that around my kids and up in my home where I pray and the Holy Spirit resides. That's just to toxic.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Shimmie said:I agree Lady D, for they are not trustworthy. And you feel so awkward when you are around their spouse or their SO.
So, so true!
My ex's brother's girlfriend was pregnant and she invited me to her shower. The brother is a dog and had a bunch of side chicks. I didn't go because there was no way I was gonna smile up in that girl's face knowing what I knew. Nor did I comfortable celebrating the fact that she was having his triflin' azzes 4th child, although I will give him that the 1st 3 were at least with the same chick.
They were supposed to come visit us in AZ and I was so happy when they cancelled.
MzLady78 said:So, so true!
My ex's brother's girlfriend was pregnant and she invited me to her shower. The brother is a dog and had a bunch of side chicks. I didn't go because there was no way I was gonna smile up in that girl's face knowing what I knew. Nor did I comfortable celebrating the fact that she was having his triflin' azzes 4th child, although I will give him that the 1st 3 were at least with the same chick.
They were supposed to come visit us in AZ and I was so happy when they cancelled.
I agree with this, even though the child did nothing wrong. I didn't go to my husband cousin girlfriends babyshower for that reason. She was having his 9th child. What was the cause for celebration? He didn't work and hadn't worked since I've been married. All he does is lay up and have sex. If he would get a job then maybe he wouldn't have all this energy for screwing. Please.
erplexed I wonder what else he gave her besides the baby. 7 baby moma's, just nasty.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
dlewis said:I agree with this, even though the child did nothing wrong. I didn't go to my husband cousin girlfriends babyshower for that reason. She was having his 9th child. What was the cause for celebration? He didn't work and hadn't worked since I've been married. All he does is lay up and have sex. If he would get a job then maybe he wouldn't have all this energy for screwing. Please.
Ewwww, 9 kids by 7 women!!!!!! SMDH.
You're right though. I mean it's nothing against the child at all, regardless of the circumstances under which it was born, a baby is precious thing. But I just wasn't feeling the situation. I hated him and felt bad for her.
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
dlewis said:
I agree and the bolded makes me sooooooooo upset. Why do people tolerate that?
SilkyandSmooth
New Member
If the other woman knows that the man is in a relationship, then yes, she is dead wrong. The man is mostly to blame because he's the one in the "committed" relationship but the other woman should also share some responsibility. I don't believe in the "oh well he's not married" nonsense.
Angel, that's exactly what it is...'Toxic'. Lady D, that's an excellent description and word to call it. And it's a poison to everyone. No one feels right; even our children can sense that something is "Toxic" in the atmosphere.dlewis said:
I can remember my aunt refusing to allow one of my uncles in her home until he got his 'business' right with his wife. She told him "You're my brother and I love you, but what you're doing is wrong and I will not be a part of it". She meant business too. He didn't come around for awhile.
Guyaneek
Well-Known Member
This one is tough and I'm a little conflicted. I DO NOT like to share! Especially men!!!! But at the same time, I do believe that for the most part, not married means single.
Disclaimer: I have never knowingly dealt with a man who had a fiance or girlfriend (let alone wife!)
Disclaimer: I have never knowingly dealt with a man who had a fiance or girlfriend (let alone wife!)
MuseofTroy
Well-Known Member
Although I believe the man in the relationship holds the most responsibility when it comes to infidelity, I think if a woman knowingly gets involved with a man who has a significant other, she is a whore with low morals and no self esteem. However if the woman did not have knowledge that the man she was seeing had a significant other then that is a different story.
There are too many available men out there to get involved with one that is already in a relationship. I never understood how the “other woman†can rationalize being involved with someone, especially a married man. As adults we have the responsibility to conduct herself in a certain way and I think people aren’t held accountable for their low morals and the pain they cause as a result of their illicit affair.
There was an article in essence awhile back about women who were considered the “other†woman and to be completely honest I was very disgusted at how they justified breaking up families and causing conflict in the marriage. Although the man has the responsibility not to cheat, I think the woman has power to walk away regardless of how charming or well of the man is. Then again there are some gutter broads out there who simply do not care if the man they are seeing has a significant other.
There are too many available men out there to get involved with one that is already in a relationship. I never understood how the “other woman†can rationalize being involved with someone, especially a married man. As adults we have the responsibility to conduct herself in a certain way and I think people aren’t held accountable for their low morals and the pain they cause as a result of their illicit affair.
There was an article in essence awhile back about women who were considered the “other†woman and to be completely honest I was very disgusted at how they justified breaking up families and causing conflict in the marriage. Although the man has the responsibility not to cheat, I think the woman has power to walk away regardless of how charming or well of the man is. Then again there are some gutter broads out there who simply do not care if the man they are seeing has a significant other.
1) If a man is in a committed realtionship (girlfriend or fiancee), is he fair game?Kurlee said:
No, no & h#!! NO
! When I was single, I NEVER took any woman's sloppy seconds. I didn't have to. I don't think any woman with self-respect has to. (providing that she does not know that the man is in a relationship) I don't even let other people use my car, clothes, or hair products , so man sharing is a no go.2) Is the other woman a &$%#$#$ if she KNOWS that he has a SO and is still willing to get with him??
She is a
, but the Universe has a way a balancing things out. Statistically speaking, she will get hers, sooner or later. If the man in question was mine, then he is the one who has made the commitment to me. In most areas of life I am reasonable, but not this one of them. It's either black or white, nothing in between. Either he's with me or against me. Being disloyal means you're against me
. Just my humble (but strong) opinion 
.Peace,
Dona Flor
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cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
MuseofTroy said:
Yeah, what she said!
And to the bolded, this is just ONE of the many reasons I no longer subscribe to or patronize Essence magazine. I did see that article b/c a friend subscribes and I too was disgusted. Sometimes I wonder if Essence magazine thinks Black women are complete rejects or too unintelligent to attract quality men!
spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
I say yes the other woman is too blame specifically if she knows he has a girlfriend or fiance. I was listening to the Micheal Baisden radio show one day and they were talking about the other woman and why women choose to mess with men who are involved. So many women called in who said they used to be the other woman and now their husband/boyfriend has cheated on them. I thoroughly believe in what goes around comes around, so if you don't want someone doing it to you, then don't do it to others.
Finewine
New Member
WhipEffectz1 said:
Yessir! I accidentally voted yes. I need to thoroughly read these polls 'cause i keep voting wrong. i look like a ho voting like that
ETA: I 100% agree that they are both wrong, but the man more so since he is the one committed to you and not the woman. She's wrong, but there is no need to fight, harass, or demean her in any way b/c she'll get hers.
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IntelligenceisBeautiful
New Member
It takes two to tango, so yes I blame them both. However, I don't understand why society blame the ow for breaking up families etc. The man is the one that made the committmnet, HE decided to step out, HE decided to disrespect his wife and children, HE decided to break up his family. As long as we continue to blame the other women and point the finger at them, men will continue to walk out and cheat on their wives. I don't think men are given much blame or accountability in these types of situations. She is not the enemy, your husband who made a promise to love and cherish you stabbed you in the back. Deal with him.
It needs to be discussed.
Princess4real
Well-Known Member
MuseofTroy said:Although I believe the man in the relationship holds the most responsibility when it comes to infidelity, I think if a woman knowingly gets involved with a man who has a significant other, she is a whore with low morals and no self esteem.
There are too many available men out there to get involved with one that is already in a relationship. I never understood how the “other woman†can rationalize being involved with someone, especially a married man. As adults we have the responsibility to conduct herself in a certain way and I think people aren’t held accountable for their low morals and the pain they cause as a result of their illicit affair.
There was an article in essence awhile back about women who were considered the “other†woman and to be completely honest I was very disgusted at how they justified breaking up families and causing conflict in the marriage. Although the man has the responsibility not to cheat, I think the woman has power to walk away regardless of how charming or well of the man is. Then again there are some gutter broads out there who simply do not care if the man they are seeing has a significant other.
Memo to self, I like the term "gutter broad."
I know your serious and I agree with you, but you got me cracking up over here!
Nightingale
On the Grow and Keeping it Simple
Kurlee said:A) if a man is not married, hes fair game.....Ok um
if a man is in a committed sexual realtionship hes still considered single?
and
B) the other woman has no obligations becuase she is not the one who made the commitment to the other woman.... Ok if u want to be technical, i guessssss that could fly, but i dunno if i know a man has a girlfriend or a fiancee, hes off the market in my eyes, i don't like to share
Finally, my question to you guys is:
1) If a man is in a committed realtionship (girlfriend or fiancee), is he fair game?
2) Is the other woman a &$%#$#$ if she KNOWS that he has a SO and is still willing to get with him??
No to the first question and yes to the second. The man is ALWAYS to blame when he sleeps with someone else, but the other women who knowingly involves herself with a taken man is at fault too. Even though she hasn't directly hurt the girlfriend/wife, she's not innocent and IMO she has bad karma and some mess coming her way.
Cheating on a girlfriend/boyfriend is still cheating, but even more stupid than cheating on a spouse. Why? Because all you have to say is "I don't want to be with you anymore" and you're a free man.
deltagyrl
Well-Known Member
A woman who knowingly cheats with a married man is a 'ho.
A woman who unknowingly cheats with a married man, discovers he's married and continues the affair is a 'ho.
No she didn't make the vows but if her stankin' a$$ is a participant she shares in the responsibility.
She does not get a pass because she didn't say 'I do.'
Stop making excuses for trifling behavior.
A woman who unknowingly cheats with a married man, discovers he's married and continues the affair is a 'ho.
No she didn't make the vows but if her stankin' a$$ is a participant she shares in the responsibility.
She does not get a pass because she didn't say 'I do.'
Stop making excuses for trifling behavior.
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MuseofTroy
Well-Known Member
Princess4real said:Memo to self, I like the term "gutter broad."
I know your serious and I agree with you, but you got me cracking up over here!
LMAO..I'm a riot in person.
Princess4real
Well-Known Member
MuseofTroy said:
You, MonaLisa, JG and Imstush are all invited to come to Fort Carson, Colorado. We can all go skiing, but you have to promise you won't get us beat up out there.
Indigo's Hair
New Member
Personally, I feel you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So, if you want other women to hit on your man then go ahead, hit on a man that is married or in a committed relationship. If a man that is married or in a committed relationship flirted or "came on" to me I would kindly let him know to "keep it moving" no matter how smart, fine or rich he may be.
Really, don't people think if he did it (cheat) to her he will do it to me.
Really, don't people think if he did it (cheat) to her he will do it to me.
Demi27
Well-Known Member
Here's my answer.
1. I have been the one that has been cheated on and it hurts like hell. In the beginning I felt that the other woman was the one to blame because I couldn't bring myself to the fact that my boyfriend had cheated on me.
2. I was recently in a relationship where I was the OW, but I didn't know that I was. I met a guy who told me he was single. Then after we were "intimate" I found out thru research (snooping) of my own that he did have a girlfriend. However, the twist was that this woman dated him while he was still married to another woman. She helped him to break up his marriage, and her karma was me. She came after me (not literally) and I explained to her that I was not the person that she needed to attack because I was not in a relationship with her. I also told her that Karma was a ***** because she helped to break up this man's marriage. I didn't find out that she helped him cheat until after the fact either.
I ended the relationship because we were ALL in the wrong.
I had a temporary lapse in judgement (that's what happens sometimes when you have feelings for someone..and we're all human no matter how much some people try to act like they're not), but I eventually broke it off. I broke it off because 1) I'm better than that, 2) I don't deserve it and 3) as much as that broad pissed me off she didn't deserve it. Plus, he's a cheater. Trust me. I'm sure my my karma is coming and I'm ready for it. However, I don't think I'm a tramp, ho, or have low-self esteem. I was human and made a mistake. Simple as that. I fixed my mistake. I didn't intentionally go after someone who had a girlfriend. I was duped into the situation.
That's my 2 cents on it.
Oh..and to answer the question, the man and the OW are both wrong, but I feel the man is the one who's the main person in the wrong.
Hope I didn't offend anyone. I just wanted to give my opinion.
1. I have been the one that has been cheated on and it hurts like hell. In the beginning I felt that the other woman was the one to blame because I couldn't bring myself to the fact that my boyfriend had cheated on me.
2. I was recently in a relationship where I was the OW, but I didn't know that I was. I met a guy who told me he was single. Then after we were "intimate" I found out thru research (snooping) of my own that he did have a girlfriend. However, the twist was that this woman dated him while he was still married to another woman. She helped him to break up his marriage, and her karma was me. She came after me (not literally) and I explained to her that I was not the person that she needed to attack because I was not in a relationship with her. I also told her that Karma was a ***** because she helped to break up this man's marriage. I didn't find out that she helped him cheat until after the fact either.
I ended the relationship because we were ALL in the wrong.
I had a temporary lapse in judgement (that's what happens sometimes when you have feelings for someone..and we're all human no matter how much some people try to act like they're not), but I eventually broke it off. I broke it off because 1) I'm better than that, 2) I don't deserve it and 3) as much as that broad pissed me off she didn't deserve it. Plus, he's a cheater. Trust me. I'm sure my my karma is coming and I'm ready for it. However, I don't think I'm a tramp, ho, or have low-self esteem. I was human and made a mistake. Simple as that. I fixed my mistake. I didn't intentionally go after someone who had a girlfriend. I was duped into the situation.
That's my 2 cents on it.
Oh..and to answer the question, the man and the OW are both wrong, but I feel the man is the one who's the main person in the wrong.
Hope I didn't offend anyone. I just wanted to give my opinion.
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