SPINOFF: IS the other woman also to blame if a man cheats on his SO/WIFE?

[Kurlee]

Some of the opinions in the Lisa Bonet thread completely threw me for a loop. I heard some women sayin:

A) if a man is not married, hes fair game..... Ok um if a man is in a committed sexual realtionship hes still considered single?

and

B) the other woman has no obligations becuase she is not the one who made the commitment to the other woman.... Ok if u want to be technical, i guessssss that could fly, but i dunno if i know a man has a girlfriend or a fiancee, hes off the market in my eyes, i don't like to shareerplexed

Finally, my question to you guys is:

1) If a man is in a committed realtionship (girlfriend or fiancee), is he fair game?

2) Is the other woman a &$%#$#$ if she KNOWS that he has a SO and is still willing to get with him??

 

[Divine Inspiration]

1) This varies from person to person based on an individual's value system, but for me, absolutely not. There are so many reasons...karma is something serious, and I wouldn't want that done to me nor do I want the ramifications coming back to bite me. On top of that, I've never been in a position to not be able to get my own man so there's no reason for me to chase someone else's.

2) I definitely think a woman who knows and proceeds anyway must shoulder some responsibility, but I think she'll be dealt her own consequences sooner or later. I agree with the "I'm in a relationship with him, not her" theory so I wouldn't confront the other woman nor would I waste my time trying to make sense of what she did or why she couldn't keep her grimy hands to herself. If I remove the lackluster man, I remove her too.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

The man and the other woman are two sides of the same street!!!! A man is not fair game if he is in a committed, exclusive relationship! Yes, a woman is a tramp/****** if she knows the guy has a SO.

I'm not into sharing but it seems like a lot of people are these days!!!!!!! Tramps,
dawgs, and committed people alike!!!

 

[Dee-Licious]

HECK NAW!!!

The man made the commitment to his wife NOT the OW and especially not if she doesn't even know he's is married.

 

[Kurlee]

THIS IS ONLY IN THE CASE WHERE THE WOMAN KNOWS THAT THE MAN IS ALREADY INVOLVED

 

[WhipEffectz1]

THIS IS ONLY IN THE CASE WHERE THE WOMAN KNOWS THAT THE MAN IS ALREADY INVOLVED

She wrong and he wrong!! Most people like to blame the woman but I would blame the man too!!

 

[Kurlee]

i agree whip effectz, the woman is trife for getting down like that, it speaks volumes about her character, depth and reasoning ability. The man ultimately is jus plain old garbage!

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Aren't 1 and 5 one in the same?

 

[Mortons]

The man is wrong. The woman is immoral yes, but she had no promises or ties to anyone. He was the one in the wrong.

 

[FlowerHair]

I agree with Glamourous ^^
Both are wrong, but the one who made the commitment is really wrong

Especially if you have been to church and promised to God and your wife and your friends and relatives to be faithful... I mean, the "other woman" didn't do all that.

Personally, I don't want to mess with someone who has a girlfriend. Too much drama! Break up with her first, then come talk to me please.

 

[STLCoverGirl]

The man is wrong. The woman is immoral yes, but she had no promises or ties to anyone. He was the one in the wrong.

ITA, he is the main one in the wrong!

 

[KnottyGurl]

I don't think the other woman is to blame, and not only do I say this as someone who has never been the other woman but as the main woman who was cheated on as well.

Although I wouldn't think highly of her (not going to call names b/c we're all human), I put the blame on the man. She can only get in where he fits her in. Not only did he make a commitment to me, but if he entertains her advances, he's giving her the impression (true or not) that he's not in a relationship and is fair game. All my hostility would be directed where it should be, at him. The only exception to the hostility rule is if the other woman is a relative or close friend and even then he would catch the brunt of it.

 

[blasianbeauty]

HECK NAW!!!

The man made the commitment to his wife NOT the OW and especially not if she doesn't even know he's is married.

I agree, the man has to have the will power to turn "it" down, women will always be out there throwin' the bait.

 

[Finesse]

Speaking as someone that has been on all sides of the fence....cheater, cheated with, and cheated on. The other woman shares blame IMO if she knows that the man is involved, married and she proceeds to get with him anyway. I have been the cheated on wife, and I have been the other woman.....yeah I knew he was married, but I went on anyway because I was stupid and quite frankly, being whorish and didn't think about anyone's feelings but my own. Karma is a ****.....because when it happens to you the pain is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

Some of the opinions in the Lisa Bonet thread completely threw me for a loop. I heard some women sayin:

A) if a man is not married, hes fair game..... Ok um if a man is in a committed sexual realtionship hes still considered single?

and

B) the other woman has no obligations becuase she is not the one who made the commitment to the other woman.... Ok if u want to be technical, i guessssss that could fly, but i dunno if i know a man has a girlfriend or a fiancee, hes off the market in my eyes, i don't like to shareerplexed

Finally, my question to you guys is:

1) If a man is in a committed realtionship (girlfriend or fiancee), is he fair game?

2) Is the other woman a &$%#$#$ if she KNOWS that he has a SO and is still willing to get with him??

This is a sticky situation. The man is to blame completely if cheating occurs but, the woman is wrong to pursue a man in a committed relationship. The problem is women are scheming. I kinda feel sorry for men because they are kinda gullible. I know a women can really turn up the heat and make it hard to resist her. In the end it's on the man to say no and his wife/fiance to beat that a_ _ is she continues.

 

[Shimmie]

Some of the opinions in the Lisa Bonet thread completely threw me for a loop. I heard some women sayin:

A) if a man is not married, hes fair game..... Ok um if a man is in a committed sexual realtionship hes still considered single?

and

B) the other woman has no obligations becuase she is not the one who made the commitment to the other woman.... Ok if u want to be technical, i guessssss that could fly, but i dunno if i know a man has a girlfriend or a fiancee, hes off the market in my eyes, i don't like to shareerplexed

Finally, my question to you guys is:

1) If a man is in a committed realtionship (girlfriend or fiancee), is he fair game?

2) Is the other woman a &$%#$#$ if she KNOWS that he has a SO and is still willing to get with him??

He is NOT fair game and YES the 'other' woman is DEAD WRONG. She's going to reap what she sows....Boomerangs and Karma don't miss. And neither does Intergrity. You either have it or you don't.

Oh and here's something else, 'the one you cheat with will cheat against you. All a woman is doing is allowing a cheating man to give her a preview of what's going to happen to her. He's not committed to anyone, not even himself.

AND what on God's green earth would a woman want with sloppy seconds. If she really thinks that she is 'all that' to get him who's with someone else, than she should be 'all that' to get a man who is NOT in a relationship with someone else. Woman can be pure fools. Why cheat yourself and settle for less. What go after a man or allow a man to give you only a part of himself and then turn around and go back to another woman that he is involved with.

Just Plain Stupid! Women just need to think more highly of themselves. Anyway, some woman will settle for anything...leftover crumbs, chewed over bones, leftover sperm, another woman's lips that have been on his... no self worth at all.

 

[MzLady78]

He is NOT fair game and YES the 'other' woman is DEAD WRONG. She's going to reap what she sows....Boomerangs and Karma don't miss. And neither does Intergrity. You either have it or you don't.

Oh and here's something else, 'the one you cheat with will cheat against you. All a woman is doing is allowing a cheating man to give her a preview of what's going to happen to her. He's not committed to anyone, not even himself.

AND what on God's green earth would a woman want with sloppy seconds. If she really thinks that she is 'all that' to get him who's with someone else, than she should be 'all that' to get a man who is NOT in a relationship with someone else. Woman can be pure fools. Why cheat yourself and settle for less. What go after a man or allow a man to give you only a part of himself and then turn around and go back to another woman that he is involved with.

Just Plain Stupid! Women just need to think more highly of themselves. Anyway, some woman will settle for anything...leftover crumbs, chewed over bones, leftover sperm, another woman's lips that have been on his... no self worth at all.

Tell it, Shimmie!!!!

I'm very aware of how I treat other people because I'm a firm believer in karma. When you do wrong, it ALWAYS comes back on you. Sometimes in ways that you don't even see coming, ways that don't have anything to do with the original situation.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

if a man is in a relationship then no he is not fair game. some women have low self esteem and will settle for anything out of desperation and loneliness while others are immature and/or think its cute to date guys in relationships. its a challenge for them.

yes the other woman is trifling if she chooses to be with the taken man but the man is responsible to his partner. he would be the most trifling of the two and his woman should confront him not the other woman

eta: no the other woman is not to blame. the man needs to have self control and discipline and learn to keep his member in his pants. i don't care if he's on the road every night and meeting women left and right. he needs to keep it in check!

 

[honeybadgirl]

its his relationship married or not. he should be respecting it. if he doesnt then its really hard to find someone else who will. thats with any thing though. respecting your mate, your property, yourself....if dont set an example, then people will follow suit.

 

[glamazon386]

If they knew about the wife/gf then yes. If they didn't know, you can't hold them accountable.

 

[Spidergul]

I was little confused by your poll so I chose the last one. But a better answer would have been just a Hell no, it's not ok. Also the other woman can not be blamed, the man knows he is in a relationship, but if the other woman finds out, she should back away gracefully.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

I would never ever let a lyin cheatin *** man get my goods, if he has another chick. I just reeeeeeally hate to be taken advantage of. there is no way i could let a guy have his chick and then get with me too...Even if i really wanted to, i respect myself too much to even do it. i have too much respect for myself and too much to offer. The most i would do is flirt, but i would never put myself in a position where it's just me and him.... so i'd flirt and it would be up to him to dump his girl and pursue me, if i am what he really wants....

 

[HoneyDew]

Since I am ALL THAT, I don't have time to be dealing with somebody that is already boo'ed up!

No seriously, I have never understood women that go for guys that already have women in their lives. I have always thought that it must make them feel good that the guy "picked" her over his girl or something.

There will ALWAYS be women like that and yall know there will always be men are gonna take it if it's available.

That is why I ALWAYS keep the "I am all that" mentality. My man could cheat on me if he wants to - I am not dependant on him and I would never allow it even when we get married.

My mom always taught me and my sister - get your education, make you money, save your money, have a relationship with God, stay close to your family and raise your kids. A man is just extra.

That may not be what God wanted for marriage but it is the 2K7 and we all need to KEEP IT REAL.

 

[Cichelle]

Firstly, I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who is "cheating" on their SO. It's too much possible drama AND if this guy doesn't care about the feelings of his current woman, how am I to think he is ultimately going to give a care about mine?

Having said that, I never understood women who find out their man is cheating and then go after the other woman. If a man is cheating on you, you need to deal with him and your relationship. Beating down the OW or harassing her, etc. is really not going to help. You might get rid of her....but there are plenty of other possible other women. IOW, she's not the real problem. He is.

If I had a relationship where the man had promised me that he would never be with anyone else and then he was...I'd blame him 100%.

 

[JFemme]

Firstly, I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who is "cheating" on their SO. It's too much possible drama AND if this guy doesn't care about the feelings of his current woman, how am I to think he is ultimately going to give a care about mine?

Having said that, I never understood women who find out their man is cheating and then go after the other woman. If a man is cheating on you, you need to deal with him and your relationship. Beating down the OW or harassing her, etc. is really not going to help. You might get rid of her....but there are plenty of other possible other women. IOW, she's not the real problem. He is.

If I had a relationship where the man had promised me that he would never be with anyone else and then he was...I'd blame him 100%.

ITA.......

 

[Spidergul]

He is NOT fair game and YES the 'other' woman is DEAD WRONG. She's going to reap what she sows....Boomerangs and Karma don't miss. And neither does Intergrity. You either have it or you don't.

Oh and here's something else, 'the one you cheat with will cheat against you. All a woman is doing is allowing a cheating man to give her a preview of what's going to happen to her. He's not committed to anyone, not even himself.

AND what on God's green earth would a woman want with sloppy seconds. If she really thinks that she is 'all that' to get him who's with someone else, than she should be 'all that' to get a man who is NOT in a relationship with someone else. Woman can be pure fools. Why cheat yourself and settle for less. What go after a man or allow a man to give you only a part of himself and then turn around and go back to another woman that he is involved with.

Just Plain Stupid! Women just need to think more highly of themselves. Anyway, some woman will settle for anything...leftover crumbs, chewed over bones, leftover sperm, another woman's lips that have been on his... no self worth at all.

Say that!! Say that!! So True it hurts-I mean really hurts. Brings back some very bad memories of a relationship I had a long long time ago. I did not know, after I found out I believed all the lies and finally said enough is a enough. I believe in karma.

 

[cocoberry10]

1) This varies from person to person based on an individual's value system, but for me, absolutely not. There are so many reasons...karma is something serious, and I wouldn't want that done to me nor do I want the ramifications coming back to bite me. On top of that, I've never been in a position to not be able to get my own man so there's no reason for me to chase someone else's.

2) I definitely think a woman who knows and proceeds anyway must shoulder some responsibility, but I think she'll be dealt her own consequences sooner or later. I agree with the "I'm in a relationship with him, not her" theory so I wouldn't confront the other woman nor would I waste my time trying to make sense of what she did or why she couldn't keep her grimy hands to herself. If I remove the lackluster man, I remove her too.

I totally agree with this. If he's that unhappy with his SO, then end the relationship.

 

[Shimmie]

Say that!! Say that!! So True it hurts-I mean really hurts. Brings back some very bad memories of a relationship I had a long long time ago. I did not know, after I found out I believed all the lies and finally said enough is a enough. I believe in karma.

Spidergul, I've been there too where 'I did not know'....my ex-husband.

He married me, and he was still stringing along a girl that he had not broken up with correctly... yet I knew nothing about her until months after we were married.

My marriage was hell on a roller coaster. I'm off that ride now, thank Jesus! I am not at the height for that kind of ride and I don't want to be....

 

[Shimmie]

Firstly, I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who is "cheating" on their SO. It's too much possible drama AND if this guy doesn't care about the feelings of his current woman, how am I to think he is ultimately going to give a care about mine?

Having said that, I never understood women who find out their man is cheating and then go after the other woman.

If a man is cheating on you, you need to deal with him and your relationship. Beating down the OW or harassing her, etc. is really not going to help. You might get rid of her....but there are plenty of other possible other women. IOW, she's not the real problem. He is.

If I had a relationship where the man had promised me that he would never be with anyone else and then he was...I'd blame him 100%.

I totally agree with this. Why go after the symptom (the other woman) when the real issue is with the man making a keeping a committment. He has no Intergrity or respect for women period. So deal with the REAL issue at hand...not the surface with a bandaid method. Bandaids don't heal the wounds...

 

[dlewis]

I have cut people out of my life for cheating on their wives and for cheating with married men. They're both to blame.