*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Recently I reconnected with a guy whom I was in a situationship last year. We were on the phone 3 hours and got a chance to talk about why we didn't work out. He admitted that I come off like a homegirl and when he wanted to "provide" I always seemed like I "had it". I got the chance to tell him that it was hard to "follow" him because he wasn't good at initiating things.

I appreciated the conversation because I know that my feminine archetype is "girl next door" (think Ciara). I came to this conclusion recently but it was nice to have it confirmed by the type of guy I'd typically go for.

So now I want to find my version of being more feminine. I've been working on my language (less cursing), attitude about myself (affirming that I am soft and I have needs) and even how to appeal to men (asking them to do stuff for me).

The upside is that dating has been ok so these are just tweaks to get me the best of the best as opposed to trying to get in the ring.

Eta: I just thought of another thing I can avoid doing. I can stop raising my voice and don't ever speak with my chest. It doesn't sound as manly as I'm writing it (not anything close to DMX lol) but I am good at debating (which I stopped doing with love interests) and can get passionate when I'm excited. It's never in a negative way, but it's still a tweak I can make.

Eta 2: sorry y'all I don't post often so now I'm feeling inspired. I just wanted to say that my tweaks I've made so far have been working because lately I've been offered a seat on the train. Men of all races will get up if they see me standing. I've seen them overlook other women to offer me a seat. Now, I'm in NYC, so if you know, you know lol.
 
It's been a while since I've been in here. And not because I was in a relationship all those years. I've remained single and to myself. :confused:
I've been planning on moving to the Raleigh-Durham area since this pandemic started. Still in the process of it. I was bored one day 3 months ago and decided to reactivate one of the dating apps just to see what the men in the area were like. I had no intentions of connecting with anyone as I know how the men on those dating apps can be, plus I hadn't moved there yet and wasn't interested in long distance. I really was just curious about what I would be dealing with...how many black men were available in the area, etc etc. Well this one guy messaged me out the blue during my short period on the app. Very simple message. I forgot I mentioned in my profile that I wanted to see Italy one day. He said he used to live there and loved it and would like to tell me about his adventures there. (Yes he's black....and a chef).

Well fast forward 3 months later, we're still talking. :eat:Everyday. For hours. He knows I don't live in his area and was just on the app to scope the surroundings lol. He knows I'm not a fan of long distance. He also knows my life isn't exactly stable right now especially since I don't have an exact date to move to NC. (I'm literally staying with family and half of my stuff is in storage facilities, and I'm trying to find work in NC. :confused:). He doesn't care. Offered to help me move when I do. Even offered to help me find work. He's expressed that he wants to be more than we are. He's pretty established already as a chef..and he's been looking for a relationship. He's not a date around type of person. We have A LOT in common, especially since I love to cook. He's the only person I can talk to about pasta sauces with at 2am and it's not weird :spinning:

I guess I've always been secure and established in my professional career, but this pandemic turned my world upside down literally. Even though emotionally I'm available...I still feel insecure in my professional/living situation currently. I felt like everything had to be perfectly set up in order for me to let love in. Well.....F that! This pandemic tore my plans up and took me on a rollercoaster. I can't predict everything that will happen to me and can't keep waiting for life to be perfect for me to move forward..........So we planned a New Years meet this weekend. I'm going to NC to look at apartments and just the general area. He's coming to help...and we have a new years eve date planned.:rose: So Dass-it :lachen:
 
Dposh167 said:
It's been a while since I've been in here. And not because I was in a relationship all those years. I've remained single and to myself. :confused:
I've been planning on moving to the Raleigh-Durham area since this pandemic started. Still in the process of it. I was bored one day 3 months ago and decided to reactivate one of the dating apps just to see what the men in the area were like. I had no intentions of connecting with anyone as I know how the men on those dating apps can be, plus I hadn't moved there yet and wasn't interested in long distance. I really was just curious about what I would be dealing with...how many black men were available in the area, etc etc. Well this one guy messaged me out the blue during my short period on the app. Very simple message. I forgot I mentioned in my profile that I wanted to see Italy one day. He said he used to live there and loved it and would like to tell me about his adventures there. (Yes he's black....and a chef).

Well fast forward 3 months later, we're still talking. :eat:Everyday. For hours. He knows I don't live in his area and was just on the app to scope the surroundings lol. He knows I'm not a fan of long distance. He also knows my life isn't exactly stable right now especially since I don't have an exact date to move to NC. (I'm literally staying with family and half of my stuff is in storage facilities, and I'm trying to find work in NC. :confused:). He doesn't care. Offered to help me move when I do. Even offered to help me find work. He's expressed that he wants to be more than we are. He's pretty established already as a chef..and he's been looking for a relationship. He's not a date around type of person. We have A LOT in common, especially since I love to cook. He's the only person I can talk to about pasta sauces with at 2am and it's not weird :spinning:

I guess I've always been secure and established in my professional career, but this pandemic turned my world upside down literally. Even though emotionally I'm available...I still feel insecure in my professional/living situation currently. I felt like everything had to be perfectly set up in order for me to let love in. Well.....F that! This pandemic tore my plans up and took me on a rollercoaster. I can't predict everything that will happen to me and can't keep waiting for life to be perfect for me to move forward..........So we planned a New Years meet this weekend. I'm going to NC to look at apartments and just the general area. He's coming to help...and we have a new years eve date planned.:rose: So Dass-it :lachen:
Click to expand...

Soooo. How'd it go??
 
NaturalEnigma said:
All my single ladies (Beyonce voice)

I created a 3 month goal mastery challenge in Off-topic (bad idea it's not getting any traffic) to master 4 skills in 12 months. While we are out here dating, we can work in other areas of our lives and become the best version of ourselves. I posted the link below. Come join us!

Click to expand...
I’ll check it out because I’m so not interested in dating or looking for new love! Lol
 
OhTall1 said:
I reactivated my dating profile last month. Honestly I wasn't expecting much action until after the holidays but I've already starting talking to two really nice guys. I'm not trying to get too optimistic too soon, but right now the possibilities are making me feel good.
Click to expand...
And then there was one. :lachen:

The guy I'm talking to is a little older than I'd typically date (10 years!) but I'm liking him so far. Because of work, the holidays and other things we had scheduled before we met, we haven't been able to meet in person. I don't like being pen pals with someone for this long, but we text everyday, we've had a few phone conversations and two video dates. The most recent was last night. Me and my friends do a monthly cocktail meetup online, so I suggested a virtual dinner. In my mind, he'd get his dinner, I'd get mine, and we'd just get online and video. Nope. Dude sent me an Uber Eats GC so I could order dinner.

Still too early, but so far his words and actions align. He says he wants to be a blessing to me and wants to be a person I can rely on to lighten my load. And then he does just that. I had some minor issues a few weeks ago, and he jumped right in to help me get things sorted. He's been supportive over the holidays (I lost my dad very quickly and unexpectedly in October) and he's constantly checking in on my emotional state. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is the real him and not his representative.
 
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OhTall1 said:
And then there was one. :lachen:

The guy I'm talking to is a little older than I'd typically date (10 years!) but I'm liking him so far. Because of work, the holidays and other things we had scheduled before we met, we haven't been able to meet in person. I don't like being pen pals with someone for this long, but we text everyday, we've had a few phone conversations and two video dates. The most recent was last night. Me and my friends do a monthly cocktail meetup online, so I suggested a virtual dinner. In my mind, he'd get his dinner, I'd get mine, and we'd just get online and video. Nope. Dude sent me an Uber Eats GC so I could order dinner.

Still too early, but so far his words and actions align. He says he wants to be a blessing to me and wants to be a person I can rely on to lighten my load. And then he does just that. I had some minor issues a few weeks ago, and he jumped right in to help me get things sorted. He's been supportive over the holidays (I lost my dad very quickly and expectedly in October) and he's constantly checking in on my emotional state. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is the real him and not his representative.
Click to expand...
That’s what a man should do like all standard things but I’m old.
 
C@ssandr@ said:
Soooo. How'd it go??
Click to expand...
Yea I guess I should do an update huh. :lachen:It's been a while since things actually went well with a guy so I'm a little rusty lol.

Well the meetup went well!
We originally had plans to just meetup for dinner on New Years Eve. I wasn't expecting him until the evening but he surprised me in the afternoon at my air bnb. I was a little nervous to meet him in person...even though we've been talking and video chatting for practically 3 months. I met him outside in the parking lot and we locked eyes then embraced each other with a very long hug. I could tell he was a little nervous. I almost forgot how this process can be since it's been a while since I dated someone from online. He was a little slimmer than I had in my mind. :eat:I guess the video camera adds some pounds lol. (He always wears sweatshirts when we video chat so I thought he maybe a little stocky-ish...but still fit since he works out a lot). He ended up being not that "meaty" but not too skinny either. It was fine. But I will admit I was a little disappointed because I wanted a little more meat on him lmao. He's also not as tall as he claimed. But not off by that much. He said he was 6ft...but he looked more 5'10 or 5'11 at the most. Still taller than me though so I'm not tripping. (I learned to subtract 2" off whatever height a man claims on his dating profile lol).

So we chatted for some time before dinner. I knew I wanted mexican food and neither one of us was familiar with any good mexican restaurants in the area so we looked up some on our phones. Him being a chef made him so extra picky about where we ate which I already expected. But it was a daunting task as the reviews for certain places weren't very good. He finally just said F this, I can cook you something better than all of this. So I said...fine by me. It was also New Years Eve and I really wasn't interested in dealing with crowded restaurants or bars anyway. So we went to the local grocery store and he bought all the groceries for dinner including wine and made us a FANTASTIC dinner .


He made this roasted chicken with gravy....roasted potatoes with parsnips..and a brussel sprout fennel salad It was absolutely delicious! We ate, drank, and rang in the new year playing this "dating" card game he bought with him. We laughed a lot, listened to music and got more comfortable with each other. After a while it stopped being awkward and just ended up feeling like a real life video chat. It was so nice and low key and unexpected that I loved every minute. We're both introverts and homebodies so this was more our speed anyway :blush2:We did kiss that night but he did not spend the night. :angel2: We had plans to meetup the next day in the afternoon to explore more of the city. But he expressed that he wanted to come back early and make me breakfast....and well that's exactly what he did. Now lemme just say this. I've never been a morning person so I was like look " don't come around here at no 7am knocking at the door.:lachen:He said he already knew I wasn't an early bird and so he would get groceries then come around 10a. I said ok that's more like it...haha.

Well he made this beautiful fruit platter since I love fresh fruit in the morning. He also made an omelette with a baby greens salad


. Again...absolutely delicious! We spent the rest of the day exploring the area. I looked at some apartment buildings I had on my list to move into. We basically spent the entire day together and it was very easy going and refreshing. We had a few serious convos about "us" and where we saw this going and what our expectations were. He's always expressed that he had plans to get married again but wasn't sure if it would happen with the way the dating scene is now. He said this is the first time in a while that he actually has hope that it can happen again, since he hasn't had feelings like this in a while. He said he focused a lot of years on his profession as a chef and didn't make a lot of time for dating, and the pandemic made him realize that if he wants a relationship then he's going to have to give that part of his life attention because time is not on our side. He wants to give that attention to me and only me...but he wants to go at my pace since I'm not as stable as I want to be. He reminded me again that he doesn't care how far away I am. He knows eventually we will be living closer to each other and he will help me move or find whatever I need to find to start my new chapter. Not necessarily to be with him...but for myself:love2:

The next day I flew back home and thought a lot about all of this. Like why am I standing in my own way blocking blessings just because life isn't perfectly aligned. I thought about all the couples around me who I envied their partnership and would question to God why isn't it ever me. And then for a quick moment I asked myself...."well why NOT me?". I've done a lot of work on myself internally to stop the toxic patterns I always got into with men. And now that I can see more clearly...I'm gonna put this man on hold just because certain things in my life isn't in place the way I want? This man is pretty much showing me that he's supportive and wants to be on this journey with me. We have a very solid foundation and I like him a lot and could see a more serious future with him. So what's the problem?:slap:. Well I expressed all of this to him over the phone.....and one thing led to another, and we're officially a couple:dinner:

...still feels a little weird. I haven't been anyone's girlfriend in like 7 years lol
 
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Dposh167 said:
Yea I guess I should do an update huh. :lachen:It's been a while since things actually went well with a guy so I'm a little rusty lol.

Well the meetup went well!
We originally had plans to just meetup for dinner on New Years Eve. I wasn't expecting him until the evening but he surprised me in the afternoon at my air bnb. I was a little nervous to meet him in person...even though we've been talking and video chatting for practically 3 months. I met him outside in the parking lot and we locked eyes then embraced each other with a very long hug. I could tell he was a little nervous. I almost forgot how this process can be since it's been a while since I dated someone from online. He was a little slimmer than I had in my mind. :eat:I guess the video camera adds some pounds lol. (He always wears sweatshirts when we video chat so I thought he maybe a little stocky-ish...but still fit since he works out a lot). He ended up being not that "meaty" but not too skinny either. It was fine. But I will admit I was a little disappointed because I wanted a little more meat on him lmao. He's also not as tall as he claimed. But not off by that much. He said he was 6ft...but he looked more 5'10 or 5'11 at the most. Still taller than me though so I'm not tripping. (I learned to subtract 2" off whatever height a man claims on his dating profile lol).

So we chatted for some time before dinner. I knew I wanted mexican food and neither one of us was familiar with any good mexican restaurants in the area so we looked up some on our phones. Him being a chef made him so extra picky about where we ate which I already expected. But it was a daunting task as the reviews for certain places weren't very good. He finally just said F this, I can cook you something better than all of this. So I said...fine by me. It was also New Years Eve and I really wasn't interested in dealing with crowded restaurants or bars anyway. So we went to the local grocery store and he bought all the groceries for dinner including wine and made us a FANTASTIC dinner .


He made this roasted chicken with gravy....roasted potatoes with parsnips..and a brussel sprout fennel salad It was absolutely delicious! We ate, drank, and rang in the new year playing this "dating" card game he bought with him. We laughed a lot, listened to music and got more comfortable with each other. After a while it stopped being awkward and just ended up feeling like a real life video chat. It was so nice and low key and unexpected that I loved every minute. We're both introverts and homebodies so this was more our speed anyway :blush2:We did kiss that night but he did not spend the night. :angel2: We had plans to meetup the next day in the afternoon to explore more of the city. But he expressed that he wanted to come back early and make me breakfast....and well that's exactly what he did. Now lemme just say this. I've never been a morning person so I was like look " don't come around here at no 7am knocking at the door.:lachen:He said he already knew I wasn't an early bird and so he would get groceries then come around 10a. I said ok that's more like it...haha.

Well he made this beautiful fruit platter since I love fresh fruit in the morning. He also made an omelette with a baby greens salad


. Again...absolutely delicious! We spent the rest of the day exploring the area. I looked at some apartment buildings I had on my list to move into. We basically spent the entire day together and it was very easy going and refreshing. We had a few serious convos about "us" and where we saw this going and what our expectations were. He's always expressed that he had plans to get married again but wasn't sure if it would happen with the way the dating scene is now. He said this is the first time in a while that he actually has hope that it can happen again, since he hasn't had feelings like this in a while. He said he focused a lot of years on his profession as a chef and didn't make a lot of time for dating, and the pandemic made him realize that if he wants a relationship then he's going to have to give that part of his life attention because time is not on our side. He wants to give that attention to me and only me...but he wants to go at my pace since I'm not as stable as I want to be. He reminded me again that he doesn't care how far away I am. He knows eventually we will be living closer to each other and he will help me move or find whatever I need to find to start my new chapter. Not necessarily to be with him...but for myself:love2:

The next day I flew back home and thought a lot about all of this. Like why am I standing in my own way blocking blessings just because life isn't perfectly aligned. I thought about all the couples around me who I envied their partnership and would question to God why isn't it ever me. And then for a quick moment I asked myself...."well why NOT me?". I've done a lot of work on myself internally to stop the toxic patterns I always got into with men. And now that I can see more clearly...I'm gonna put this man on hold just because certain things in my life isn't in place the way I want? This man is pretty much showing me that he's supportive and wants to be on this journey with me. We have a very solid foundation and I like him a lot and could see a more serious future with him. So what's the problem?:slap:. Well I expressed all of this to him over the phone.....and one thing led to another, and we're officially a couple:dinner:

...still feels a little weird. I haven't been anyone's girlfriend in like 7 years lol
Click to expand...
OMG!!!! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!

This is such a beautiful story!!!
 
Dposh167 said:
Yea I guess I should do an update huh. :lachen:It's been a while since things actually went well with a guy so I'm a little rusty lol.

Well the meetup went well!
We originally had plans to just meetup for dinner on New Years Eve. I wasn't expecting him until the evening but he surprised me in the afternoon at my air bnb. I was a little nervous to meet him in person...even though we've been talking and video chatting for practically 3 months. I met him outside in the parking lot and we locked eyes then embraced each other with a very long hug. I could tell he was a little nervous. I almost forgot how this process can be since it's been a while since I dated someone from online. He was a little slimmer than I had in my mind. :eat:I guess the video camera adds some pounds lol. (He always wears sweatshirts when we video chat so I thought he maybe a little stocky-ish...but still fit since he works out a lot). He ended up being not that "meaty" but not too skinny either. It was fine. But I will admit I was a little disappointed because I wanted a little more meat on him lmao. He's also not as tall as he claimed. But not off by that much. He said he was 6ft...but he looked more 5'10 or 5'11 at the most. Still taller than me though so I'm not tripping. (I learned to subtract 2" off whatever height a man claims on his dating profile lol).

So we chatted for some time before dinner. I knew I wanted mexican food and neither one of us was familiar with any good mexican restaurants in the area so we looked up some on our phones. Him being a chef made him so extra picky about where we ate which I already expected. But it was a daunting task as the reviews for certain places weren't very good. He finally just said F this, I can cook you something better than all of this. So I said...fine by me. It was also New Years Eve and I really wasn't interested in dealing with crowded restaurants or bars anyway. So we went to the local grocery store and he bought all the groceries for dinner including wine and made us a FANTASTIC dinner .


He made this roasted chicken with gravy....roasted potatoes with parsnips..and a brussel sprout fennel salad It was absolutely delicious! We ate, drank, and rang in the new year playing this "dating" card game he bought with him. We laughed a lot, listened to music and got more comfortable with each other. After a while it stopped being awkward and just ended up feeling like a real life video chat. It was so nice and low key and unexpected that I loved every minute. We're both introverts and homebodies so this was more our speed anyway :blush2:We did kiss that night but he did not spend the night. :angel2: We had plans to meetup the next day in the afternoon to explore more of the city. But he expressed that he wanted to come back early and make me breakfast....and well that's exactly what he did. Now lemme just say this. I've never been a morning person so I was like look " don't come around here at no 7am knocking at the door.:lachen:He said he already knew I wasn't an early bird and so he would get groceries then come around 10a. I said ok that's more like it...haha.

Well he made this beautiful fruit platter since I love fresh fruit in the morning. He also made an omelette with a baby greens salad


. Again...absolutely delicious! We spent the rest of the day exploring the area. I looked at some apartment buildings I had on my list to move into. We basically spent the entire day together and it was very easy going and refreshing. We had a few serious convos about "us" and where we saw this going and what our expectations were. He's always expressed that he had plans to get married again but wasn't sure if it would happen with the way the dating scene is now. He said this is the first time in a while that he actually has hope that it can happen again, since he hasn't had feelings like this in a while. He said he focused a lot of years on his profession as a chef and didn't make a lot of time for dating, and the pandemic made him realize that if he wants a relationship then he's going to have to give that part of his life attention because time is not on our side. He wants to give that attention to me and only me...but he wants to go at my pace since I'm not as stable as I want to be. He reminded me again that he doesn't care how far away I am. He knows eventually we will be living closer to each other and he will help me move or find whatever I need to find to start my new chapter. Not necessarily to be with him...but for myself:love2:

The next day I flew back home and thought a lot about all of this. Like why am I standing in my own way blocking blessings just because life isn't perfectly aligned. I thought about all the couples around me who I envied their partnership and would question to God why isn't it ever me. And then for a quick moment I asked myself...."well why NOT me?". I've done a lot of work on myself internally to stop the toxic patterns I always got into with men. And now that I can see more clearly...I'm gonna put this man on hold just because certain things in my life isn't in place the way I want? This man is pretty much showing me that he's supportive and wants to be on this journey with me. We have a very solid foundation and I like him a lot and could see a more serious future with him. So what's the problem?:slap:. Well I expressed all of this to him over the phone.....and one thing led to another, and we're officially a couple:dinner:

...still feels a little weird. I haven't been anyone's girlfriend in like 7 years lol
Click to expand...

This made we want to cry and eat at the same time! I'm so happy for you!
 
Dposh167 said:
Yea I guess I should do an update huh. :lachen:It's been a while since things actually went well with a guy so I'm a little rusty lol.

Well the meetup went well!
We originally had plans to just meetup for dinner on New Years Eve. I wasn't expecting him until the evening but he surprised me in the afternoon at my air bnb. I was a little nervous to meet him in person...even though we've been talking and video chatting for practically 3 months. I met him outside in the parking lot and we locked eyes then embraced each other with a very long hug. I could tell he was a little nervous. I almost forgot how this process can be since it's been a while since I dated someone from online. He was a little slimmer than I had in my mind. :eat:I guess the video camera adds some pounds lol. (He always wears sweatshirts when we video chat so I thought he maybe a little stocky-ish...but still fit since he works out a lot). He ended up being not that "meaty" but not too skinny either. It was fine. But I will admit I was a little disappointed because I wanted a little more meat on him lmao. He's also not as tall as he claimed. But not off by that much. He said he was 6ft...but he looked more 5'10 or 5'11 at the most. Still taller than me though so I'm not tripping. (I learned to subtract 2" off whatever height a man claims on his dating profile lol).

So we chatted for some time before dinner. I knew I wanted mexican food and neither one of us was familiar with any good mexican restaurants in the area so we looked up some on our phones. Him being a chef made him so extra picky about where we ate which I already expected. But it was a daunting task as the reviews for certain places weren't very good. He finally just said F this, I can cook you something better than all of this. So I said...fine by me. It was also New Years Eve and I really wasn't interested in dealing with crowded restaurants or bars anyway. So we went to the local grocery store and he bought all the groceries for dinner including wine and made us a FANTASTIC dinner .


He made this roasted chicken with gravy....roasted potatoes with parsnips..and a brussel sprout fennel salad It was absolutely delicious! We ate, drank, and rang in the new year playing this "dating" card game he bought with him. We laughed a lot, listened to music and got more comfortable with each other. After a while it stopped being awkward and just ended up feeling like a real life video chat. It was so nice and low key and unexpected that I loved every minute. We're both introverts and homebodies so this was more our speed anyway :blush2:We did kiss that night but he did not spend the night. :angel2: We had plans to meetup the next day in the afternoon to explore more of the city. But he expressed that he wanted to come back early and make me breakfast....and well that's exactly what he did. Now lemme just say this. I've never been a morning person so I was like look " don't come around here at no 7am knocking at the door.:lachen:He said he already knew I wasn't an early bird and so he would get groceries then come around 10a. I said ok that's more like it...haha.

Well he made this beautiful fruit platter since I love fresh fruit in the morning. He also made an omelette with a baby greens salad


. Again...absolutely delicious! We spent the rest of the day exploring the area. I looked at some apartment buildings I had on my list to move into. We basically spent the entire day together and it was very easy going and refreshing. We had a few serious convos about "us" and where we saw this going and what our expectations were. He's always expressed that he had plans to get married again but wasn't sure if it would happen with the way the dating scene is now. He said this is the first time in a while that he actually has hope that it can happen again, since he hasn't had feelings like this in a while. He said he focused a lot of years on his profession as a chef and didn't make a lot of time for dating, and the pandemic made him realize that if he wants a relationship then he's going to have to give that part of his life attention because time is not on our side. He wants to give that attention to me and only me...but he wants to go at my pace since I'm not as stable as I want to be. He reminded me again that he doesn't care how far away I am. He knows eventually we will be living closer to each other and he will help me move or find whatever I need to find to start my new chapter. Not necessarily to be with him...but for myself:love2:

The next day I flew back home and thought a lot about all of this. Like why am I standing in my own way blocking blessings just because life isn't perfectly aligned. I thought about all the couples around me who I envied their partnership and would question to God why isn't it ever me. And then for a quick moment I asked myself...."well why NOT me?". I've done a lot of work on myself internally to stop the toxic patterns I always got into with men. And now that I can see more clearly...I'm gonna put this man on hold just because certain things in my life isn't in place the way I want? This man is pretty much showing me that he's supportive and wants to be on this journey with me. We have a very solid foundation and I like him a lot and could see a more serious future with him. So what's the problem?:slap:. Well I expressed all of this to him over the phone.....and one thing led to another, and we're officially a couple:dinner:

...still feels a little weird. I haven't been anyone's girlfriend in like 7 years lol
Click to expand...

Awww! Very happy for you. May the relationship continue to surpass your dreams.
 
Dposh167 said:
Yea I guess I should do an update huh. :lachen:It's been a while since things actually went well with a guy so I'm a little rusty lol.

Well the meetup went well!
We originally had plans to just meetup for dinner on New Years Eve. I wasn't expecting him until the evening but he surprised me in the afternoon at my air bnb. I was a little nervous to meet him in person...even though we've been talking and video chatting for practically 3 months. I met him outside in the parking lot and we locked eyes then embraced each other with a very long hug. I could tell he was a little nervous. I almost forgot how this process can be since it's been a while since I dated someone from online. He was a little slimmer than I had in my mind. :eat:I guess the video camera adds some pounds lol. (He always wears sweatshirts when we video chat so I thought he maybe a little stocky-ish...but still fit since he works out a lot). He ended up being not that "meaty" but not too skinny either. It was fine. But I will admit I was a little disappointed because I wanted a little more meat on him lmao. He's also not as tall as he claimed. But not off by that much. He said he was 6ft...but he looked more 5'10 or 5'11 at the most. Still taller than me though so I'm not tripping. (I learned to subtract 2" off whatever height a man claims on his dating profile lol).

So we chatted for some time before dinner. I knew I wanted mexican food and neither one of us was familiar with any good mexican restaurants in the area so we looked up some on our phones. Him being a chef made him so extra picky about where we ate which I already expected. But it was a daunting task as the reviews for certain places weren't very good. He finally just said F this, I can cook you something better than all of this. So I said...fine by me. It was also New Years Eve and I really wasn't interested in dealing with crowded restaurants or bars anyway. So we went to the local grocery store and he bought all the groceries for dinner including wine and made us a FANTASTIC dinner .


He made this roasted chicken with gravy....roasted potatoes with parsnips..and a brussel sprout fennel salad It was absolutely delicious! We ate, drank, and rang in the new year playing this "dating" card game he bought with him. We laughed a lot, listened to music and got more comfortable with each other. After a while it stopped being awkward and just ended up feeling like a real life video chat. It was so nice and low key and unexpected that I loved every minute. We're both introverts and homebodies so this was more our speed anyway :blush2:We did kiss that night but he did not spend the night. :angel2: We had plans to meetup the next day in the afternoon to explore more of the city. But he expressed that he wanted to come back early and make me breakfast....and well that's exactly what he did. Now lemme just say this. I've never been a morning person so I was like look " don't come around here at no 7am knocking at the door.:lachen:He said he already knew I wasn't an early bird and so he would get groceries then come around 10a. I said ok that's more like it...haha.

Well he made this beautiful fruit platter since I love fresh fruit in the morning. He also made an omelette with a baby greens salad


. Again...absolutely delicious! We spent the rest of the day exploring the area. I looked at some apartment buildings I had on my list to move into. We basically spent the entire day together and it was very easy going and refreshing. We had a few serious convos about "us" and where we saw this going and what our expectations were. He's always expressed that he had plans to get married again but wasn't sure if it would happen with the way the dating scene is now. He said this is the first time in a while that he actually has hope that it can happen again, since he hasn't had feelings like this in a while. He said he focused a lot of years on his profession as a chef and didn't make a lot of time for dating, and the pandemic made him realize that if he wants a relationship then he's going to have to give that part of his life attention because time is not on our side. He wants to give that attention to me and only me...but he wants to go at my pace since I'm not as stable as I want to be. He reminded me again that he doesn't care how far away I am. He knows eventually we will be living closer to each other and he will help me move or find whatever I need to find to start my new chapter. Not necessarily to be with him...but for myself:love2:

The next day I flew back home and thought a lot about all of this. Like why am I standing in my own way blocking blessings just because life isn't perfectly aligned. I thought about all the couples around me who I envied their partnership and would question to God why isn't it ever me. And then for a quick moment I asked myself...."well why NOT me?". I've done a lot of work on myself internally to stop the toxic patterns I always got into with men. And now that I can see more clearly...I'm gonna put this man on hold just because certain things in my life isn't in place the way I want? This man is pretty much showing me that he's supportive and wants to be on this journey with me. We have a very solid foundation and I like him a lot and could see a more serious future with him. So what's the problem?:slap:. Well I expressed all of this to him over the phone.....and one thing led to another, and we're officially a couple:dinner:

...still feels a little weird. I haven't been anyone's girlfriend in like 7 years lol
Click to expand...

This sounds so awesome. I am excited for you!
 
Ladies, question:
If you were on a weight loss journey, would you wait to lose weight (let's say about 20 lbs) before joining dating apps, or would you just jump on and see what happens?
 
kimpaur said:
This guy asked me out while I was wearing a mask
I gave him my number because he's tall and fine and my mind went blank :look:
but now I'm like 'Wth-I was wearing a mask!" :lol:
We'll see how this goes
Click to expand...
I didn’t have high hopes for this situation but *gasp* this guy not only texts but also calls-he even set up a date
We went out yesterday
He wanted to do a dinner date but I’m getting over a stomach bug and suggested coffee instead. I also really wanted to feel him out more

I had a really good time! He’s very funny and I like his energy.
He wanted to take me out again today but I declined- got to play a little hard to get lol
So far this is nice!
 
I have never met someone who I have so much in common with, it’s super freaky ! I’m trying not to get my hopes up so early in the game but we click and it’s so weird (or,that’s how it’s supposed to be, as my best friend says lol)

Our second date -or our first “real” date as he called it lol- was amazing. He brought me flowers :2inlove: , we enjoyed downtown got dinner,dessert- it was literally hours and I didn’t notice lol
I broke my rule and made out with him :look: several times :look:
I seriously couldn’t help it, the man has serious BDE :help: :rofl:

Case in point: I mentioned being really into gardening a few summers ago but everything died and I gave up.
This man said "Oh that's easy! My folks grew up gardening in the country and have had us planting stuff since we were kids.
I'll build you a garden."

Yall.

Somebody help! Lmao

giphy.gif


Date number 3 coming up this weekend :)
 
kimpaur said:
I have never met someone who I have so much in common with, it’s super freaky ! I’m trying not to get my hopes up so early in the game but we click and it’s so weird (or,that’s how it’s supposed to be, as my best friend says lol)

Our second date -or our first “real” date as he called it lol- was amazing. He brought me flowers :2inlove: , we enjoyed downtown got dinner,dessert- it was literally hours and I didn’t notice lol
I broke my rule and made out with him :look: several times :look:
I seriously couldn’t help it, the man has serious BDE :help: :rofl:

Case in point: I mentioned being really into gardening a few summers ago but everything died and I gave up.
This man said "Oh that's easy! My folks grew up gardening in the country and have had us planting stuff since we were kids.
I'll build you a garden."

Yall.

Somebody help! Lmao

View attachment 480575


Date number 3 coming up this weekend :)
Click to expand...
Woo hoo! So far sounds great. :clap:
Also sounds you have good boundaries in place and taking your time. Do you and enjoy!
 
I want to date but I sadly feel that I may be one of those people who never experiences love or healing of that magnitude. I made a goal to create dating profiles and pay for membership but every day I’m just blah and focus more on work since that’s all I can seem to do right and even it’s not a good place. I have tried a variety of things but 15 yrs single has really done something
 
My coworker (mid 20’s) she has been sleeping in her car because her mother would meet these farm workers online and bring them back to their house and have loud sex with them. All over their house. Including the communal areas like the living room. The farm workers tell each other about her mom and they contact her for sex. She told me that the mother sometimes go to the farm worker‘s compound and have orgies with these men. These men are from the Islands. She said her mom got married as a teen to her Dad and after her Dad died a few years ago the mom became wild. I was shocked lol.


I don’t understand the mother servicing these men for free. My thinking is if you are going to act like a hoe you may as well get paid for it…
 
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