*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

weaveadiva said:
@Evolving78 You misunderstood me :lol: I meant I was looking like a snack but he was looking like a microwave dinner :rofl:

Pray tell... what triggering issues do you have with FT?

I admit...I'm not for it if the guy can come see me. If it's a dude who is here in my city, he needs to make plans to meet up.

If it's a new dude and I'm trying to see the goods before I waste my time...video it is (learned that the hard way :drunk: )

I FaceTimed with ol' boy because he travels a lot for work.
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Oh ok I gotcha you! but still you were looking like a snack! I can’t stand men!! Lol I can’t do all of this game playin or trying to figure people out!

and that’s good advice about the use of FT. I’m practicing extreme social distancing, so I see where it could come in handy. I only use it with my kids.

in the past, FaceTime was used to monitor my whereabouts and control/manipulate me in subtle or obvious ways.
 
Evolving78 said:
I was talking to this guy that deliberately deflects questions that would allow me to get to know him better. It’s all about jokes and nothing of substance. I don’t know why he bothers to call. I’m not answering my phone anymore. He isn’t really into me, or can even be a decent friend to me right now.

I tried to be open ya’ll.. lol
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Once you’ve been married and had children, you are no longer on a timeline. Which means you’re not wasting time having your time wasted while a man plays games. Bump that, it’s nice lol.
 
Evolving78 said:
And I’m sorry about what you are dealing with right now. I hope you are ok?
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*sigh*

Thanks for asking. Between this and a frustrating work situation, today was a bad day. Lots of tears. And now it won't stop raining, so it's the perfect recipe for sadness.

I posted once before about an argument we had early in the relationship where he gave me the silent treatment for days and someone warned that this was a bad sign. I got what she was saying but figured, we're grown ups, right? We'll talk, we'll work together to resolve things if we want this to work. But this marks the third time he's done it. Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence, three times is a habit. This just is who he is.

I'm not interested in begging someone to let me in. It was only eight months, and for the most part it was a good eight months. But this is a major deal breaker. We're done. He's blocked.
 
OhTall1 said:
*sigh*

Thanks for asking. Between this and a frustrating work situation, today was a bad day. Lots of tears. And now it won't stop raining, so it's the perfect recipe for sadness.

I posted once before about an argument we had early in the relationship where he gave me the silent treatment for days and someone warned that this was a bad sign. I got what she was saying but figured, we're grown ups, right? We'll talk, we'll work together to resolve things if we want this to work. But this marks the third time he's done it. Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence, three times is a habit. This just is who he is.

I'm not interested in begging someone to let me in. It was only eight months, and for the most part it was a good eight months. But this is a major deal breaker. We're done. He's blocked.
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You have made a wise decision. Don’t look back! It’s gets much worse if you do.
 
weaveadiva said:
Guurrrlllll words cannot describe what went through my mind. It was #facetimeafterdark hours :look: so you know I was looking like a snack.

Imagine my surprise when a microwave dinner popped up on the screen :cry: I had to make a concentrated effort not to let my face betray me.

After that I didn't wanna flirt, I ain't wanna see nothing... really we can just have phone calls from here on out #sorrynotsorry
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.
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:dead::lachen:
 
OhTall1 said:
I might be single again. :perplexed:

Are you mostly meeting people online since all the stay at home orders started?
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Sorry to hear that. But good news...yes, online dating is popping right now.

I'm having fun on Hinge. I paid to be a preferred member for a month but didn't find it worth the money. I get plenty of hits and the algorithm is good at showing me men I'm interested in.

You're required to fill out a profile but they make it easy by giving you prompts (four). Of course, some people manage to circumvent this but I find the vast majority make an effort and take the time to enter info. So you have more than just a picture.

Oh, and you're required to upload 6 pics. Which is cool because most people upload various pics. So much better than having one pic to go off of.

They also have a great video chat built into the app. It's clear and unlimited, so no exchanging numbers until you're ready. They have a phone option which functions the same way.
 
BrownBetty said:
I need a big and long naked hug.

I got one dude who is practicing social distancing and another who wants to travel right now.

sigh
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Men are dumb. I'm tired and don't want to play with them anymore.

I spoke with the dude who is social distancing and we had a plan in motion. We both would get tested and then quarantine together for a bit to have a marathon of naked hugs. He had a couple of in person things he had to do so we decided after. He came back and said that it was extended. I said ok. He starts getting testy with me. I'm guessing because I just accepted the answer and didn't participate in a back and forth.

I came with a plan things changed on his end, I figure it is on him to come with an alternative plan. I don't have the patience to play with him.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Now Listen......I need every single woman to believe in every fiber of her bad b ness as much as this dude believes in his eligibility as a bachelor. This looks just like one of my brothers except he has slightly less kids but I digress.
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The confidence is amazing. But he doesn’t need much because there are plenty of women that will give him and his cult members aka family a chance.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Now Listen......I need every single woman to believe in every fiber of her bad b ness as much as this dude believes in his eligibility as a bachelor. This looks just like one of my brothers except he has slightly less kids but I digress.
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12 kids??? I just cannot!

But I get your point and I’m gonna try my best to love me and believe in me as much as he does :yep: :lol:.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Now Listen......I need every single woman to believe in every fiber of her bad b ness as much as this dude believes in his eligibility as a bachelor. This looks just like one of my brothers except he has slightly less kids but I digress.
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I always get poked at for being too picky and strict and I don’t work with a brother. This is why. This. Is. Why. Because these dudes be dead serious and all I see is games, struggle and imbalanced pH.
 
I'm trying to figure out how to not attract the men I keep on attracting. Mainly men who don't seem to understand the word "no"

I had a dude argue with me about not going out one night. We had agreed to hang out but I got sick and I told him I couldn't that night and offered a raincheck....and he argued with me on that. Dude, I have a headache and I'm cramping and no I'm not getting out of my apartment. Had to write a whole thesis in a text to explain why I wasn't going out that night.

And then there was another dude who kept on insisting he buy me a bunch of things from this somewhat high end mall we were at...even though he had just complained about being short on cash. Once again, more arguments ("no I don't need that right now, I was just admiring it", "no you don't have to buy me anything, let's focus on getting your family their Christmas gifts" "...why did you go behind my back and buy me something I said I already had?"). Then he ran out of money...

Like these men hear me say "no" and think "let me just keep nagging this girl, she'll agree eventually" (newsflash: I never give in and just end up having to cut them off). I'm tired of it (just like I'm tired of men in my inbox who don't bother to spell out words, or spell them correctly).

EDIT: to clarify...the men who don't understand the word "no" at the very least can spell.
 
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Neomorph said:
I'm trying to figure out how to not attract the men I keep on attracting. Mainly men who don't seem to understand the word "no"

I had a dude argue with me about not going out one night. We had agreed to hang out but I got sick and I told him I couldn't that night and offered a raincheck....and he argued with me on that. Dude, I have a headache and I'm cramping and no I'm not getting out of my apartment. Had to write a whole thesis in a text to explain why I wasn't going out that night.

And then there was another dude who kept on insisting he buy me a bunch of things form this somewhat high end mall we were at...even though he had just complained about being short on cash. Once again, more arguments ("no I don't need that right now, I was just admiring it", "no you don't have to buy me anything, let's focus on getting your family their Christmas gifts" "...why did you go behind my back and buy me something I said I already had?). Then he ran out of money...

Like these men hear me say "no" and think "let me just keep nagging this girl, she'll agree eventually" (newsflash: I never give in and just end up having to cut them off). I'm tired of it (just like I'm tired of men in my inbox who don't bother to spell out words, or spell them correctly).

EDIT: to clarify...the men who don't understand the word "no" at the very least can spell.
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You just have to stick to your boundaries and make sure you catch signs earlier on. Ask more questions and really allow them to talk during your first meeting with them. There are men that are trying to wear you down. Women need to learn that men will test you. All Men are hunters and gatherers. Some have a dangerous predatory nature about them. Those are the ones you gotta weed out.
 
@Neomorph I would recommend that you force yourself to stop arguing with these men and stop repeating yourself. Even though you never give in (which is great!), you are still giving them your time and energy. It’s ok for you to not repeat yourself, write a thesis, or argue. You can just say no or no thank you once, twice at the most. If they continue you can end the conversation then and there. You can leave and go on with your day. And keep your peace of mind. Protect your peace. The men who are doing this are being disrespectful of you. They are not behaving gentlemanly. They do not have compassion for you or your femininity. The reason why is not your problem and it’s not your job to teach them how to behave. That was their father and mother’s job. And now as an adult it’s their job. So no more repeating yourself, no more texting theses.

There are unfortunately lots of men like this. You’re gonna have to develop a lower tolerance for this kind of behavior. Also I think what may trip you up is that they are being passive aggressive. You have to treat passive aggression as if it’s pure aggression because in the end that’s what it is.

I find that when you have a very low tolerance for something, and stand your ground, it shows up a lot less.
 
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Crackers Phinn said:
Now Listen......I need every single woman to believe in every fiber of her bad b ness as much as this dude believes in his eligibility as a bachelor. This looks just like one of my brothers except he has slightly less kids but I digress.
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I just realized this is the same guy in one of my FB groups. I'm in the group that he initially posted this in. I didn't realize it spread like wildfire. He actually doesn't have 12 kids. It was found out that he was lying and made it up because he wanted attention and to stir up controversy in the group. He didn't think people in the group would share it to hundreds of others and he started getting phone calls from his family/friends asking what this was about. So he finally admitted to us it was a lie. He's an idiot. I'm not sure how many kids he does have, but it doesn't look it's 12
 
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