*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I'm still talking on and off to a guy I meet on OK weeks ago. I tried to shake him off last week, but we had a very deep conversation and it made me not want to bounce. He had the nerve to be a kind, thoughtful, and mature human being when I set him that "we're not going anywhere text." :(

We had another conversation and I asked him why he doesn't drive. Come to find out that he was in a bad car accident at 14 that caused him to develop epilepsy. I told him something very personal about myself after that. He made plans for us to potentially meet next Monday.

We don't talk or text daily. He's purposefully giving me enough space to not be smothered, but not too much that I forget about him. I've not been here before. . . .
 
LostInAdream said:
The 28-year-old was fun but I didn't see long term potential. He wants marriage and kids but has emotional baggage from his past relationships. I think he needs therapy and time to sort through it all. I'm not dealing with any of it.
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How is his emotional baggage manifesting itself in your relationship?
 
Damn they doing this like that out here.

DMV men can be quite pretentious but I didn’t know it was that bad. Many are just stuck up since educated and gainfully employee black men are in demand here.
sunflora said:
That's so weird. I almost prefer guys without degrees. Up in DMV guys with degrees got it paid for by mom and dad and have little work ethic. All the guys I meet in my age range (late 20s) have been in school for the last 8 years. B.S., M.S.... it's like they don't ever plan on working. I guess that's cool if you're in it for the money, but my last relationship ended due to him not understanding what it meant to have to work for things. It sounds silly in text but it was really a huge deal-breaker for me.

I find other men come off as pretentious when they find they are at a higher level of education than me. But I make more money! I was talking to one dude and at some point he asks me 'do you read books?' I stared at him blankly because as you can imagine, someone asking a black woman this already sounds like an insult. So to my blank stare he responds, 'you know, like paper...words?' I was done after that.

And now I'm mad and rambling LOL. I guess that is to say, if education level is an important factor, I don't want him. If he thinks he's dumber than me or smarter than me because one of us had enough money, time and patience to complete school, again, don't want him. If you want to know how smart or dumb I am, talk to me. I'll figure out the same, without looking at your resume.
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I had a good talk with my friend about being clear on boundaries when it comes to being friends with men. I took that advice to heart and was direct with S that this won't go beyond a friendship. He responded well again, but I hope that he's gotten it this time because I'm not moving on it. He's a nice guy but I can do better.
 
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I'm finally ready to dip my toe in the online dating pool.

Signed up for Tinder last night just to see what it's all about. Swiped for about 30 mins...almost all white boys :( I counted maybe 5 brothas.

One thing I liked was they let you fill out whatever you want in your bio. No pre-made template (do you have children? do you smoke? what type of relationship are you looking for? etc.). You just add whatever info you like.

I know Tinder is considered a hook-up site but honestly I'm not sure what I'm looking for right now :look: so I figured why not? I also wanted to start with one of the more popular ones and everyone's always talking about Tinder.

Has anyone tried this app? It caters to black folks and has excellent reviews. Same people own Tinder so it uses the same features but is a bit more limited. (ex: you can't choose the distance for matches.)
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ucXST7T.jpeg

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^^^ I matched with someone on Tinder and we chatted a bit. He's supposed to be calling. We shall see...

OAN I'm having a really rough day and could use some words of encouragement.

I mentioned earlier in this thread that I'm lonely and it's just been hitting me really hard today. I've been crying pretty much since I woke up.

I'm happy with every other aspect of my life but I can't seem to get this relationship crap down and I'm tired of feeling this way. It doesn't feel good and I'm so over it.

Last night I also realized that I've been settling for less from a guy I'm seeing under the guise of just using him to pass time until someone better comes along. When really I'm just playing myself because he doesn't even live up to the lowered standards. When you settle for less you get less than what you settled for.
 
This morning S texted good morning, and I told him that he didn't have to say good morning everyday. We've talked on the phone once in the past 2 weeks. I may be avoiding some of his calls :look: .
 
BrownBetty said:
I'm thinking about attending a speed dating event. My only concern is that men don't show up.
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I've done a lot of speed dating in the past few months. The events are small-ish though (no more than 10 men). I always get at least 1 match. I prefer it to online dating because at least you're meeting the person in the flesh as opposed to behind a computer screen. However, I've noticed the men can be lazy and don't follow up, even if they matched with you. I'm taking a break because the last SD event I went to, I saw 3 guys I've seen before. 2 of the 3 I've seen at least 3 times each. One black dude was super weird and said the white girl he spoke to before me was racist. He wasn't even trying to talk quietly or be subtle LOL.
 
random thought:
Im watching those skin deep series and it reminded me of a guy I dated long distance 2/3 years ago. There was a particular week we spent together and I was truly the happiest I have ever been. My energy/frequency was incredible - I was radiating! I had a flashback of a couple memories and went to my instagram to that period and watched the vid where he surprised me with trip for us to get mani/pedis done and when his face came on screen my heart went " awwwwwww i remember you"

He was the last time my heart, body and mind were aligned in a way i can't describe and ergh that sucks. i miss his laugh :(

Anywho one week till im in S.America to play dora the explorer with a former flame :kiss3:.
 
I hate when men don't make their intentions clear and use business as a means to get at you.
There is a guy that I know, we are acquaintances. He is in an industry that I am interested in breaking into. He asks for my info so that we could connect. All of a sudden a diluge of text messages that have no reference to business or networking. All are focused on how beautiful I am. I just found out he is with a mutual friend's friend.
No loss because I wasn't interested in him nor did he ever have a chance but state your intentions up front so I can say no thanks and go.
 
I am finding that a lot of these guys are just comfortable with texting back and forth. I was talking to this guy on one of the dating apps. We exchanged numbers and then he texted me, and I texted him back. This went on a few more times before I told him that we should talk on the phone. He avoided what I said about talking on the phone, but was asking me when we were going to see each other. I need to talk on the phone to have a real conversation and hear a man's voice before I meet them. He also asked me to send him some pictures when he obviously saw my pics already on the app. What is wrong with these guys nowadays? :whyme:
 
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KimPossibli said:
False alarm this *negro is emotionally illiterate. He's intelligent, good looking well off, and generous... emotionally duncy... it was too much

on to the next
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I'm going to end up hating this man more than I liked him in the beginning

he's pinging/ temperature checking me

ie. sending banal non substantive text messages to see how I'll react
I haven't been giving it to much energy because tbh there isnt anything to give energy to... its not a real conversation...
I missed a call from him and then the last text is a 'we need to talk'

I said 'ok' 3 days ago... and now silence...

I hate when men do this ****... I know you are capable of intellligent conversation. use your words or leave me alone and if you can't you really just dont need to be in my phone. even my male friends I require actual real conversation... this pinging is just you making yourself a nuisance...
 
So I went a little crazy with the online dating (for me). I’ve always been a “date with intention” kind of person. Recently I’ve been trying to loosen up and just have fun/meet people. I ain’t bout this life :lachen: Had a Tinderoni get in a fight with someone on our FIRST date. Throwing drinks and slapping folks (yes, this is a whole behind, grown behind, degreed, employed 30-something). I’m standing there clutching pearls like lawwwd I ain’t sign up for this hood life. It was by far the most exciting Wednesday I’ve had in a while.

Def going back to my skeptical, cautious ways cause chilllleeeeee these menz!
 
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We had this coworker that had the wildest unbelievable stories. We thought she was making things up to make herself likable. It was just so odd. She was dating a manager and every time you turned around she was saying she was pregnant and having miscarriages while he was denying it, trying to keep office rumors down. He treated her like crap. They finally had a baby and then broke up.

Almost year later she gets with her high school sweetheart and currently they have 3 kids together and happily married. He treats her first daughter like shes his.

Its good to see her finally settled in to who she is. Her husband loves the ground she walks on.

Just a reflection I thought about after talking to her.
 
Lol a while back I said I wanted to keep my roster small, but there's 3 new guys I met over the past week that *may* join my winter roster:laugh:
One is a Jamaican guy who grew up in the US., I met him at a Friendsgiving party. He moved to Cali from the east cost not too long ago. The second one is a Nigerian guy who moved to the US a few years ago, I met him at a networking event. The third one is from Dallas and moved to Cali 3 years ago, I met him on an app. I’ve never dated a Jamaican or Nigerian man. I think I remember seeing several posts on here that say to watch out for Jamaican and Nigerian men....getting ready to do a search :laugh:. I go out with the Dallas guy tomorrow, the Nigerian guy on Friday night and the Jamaican dude on Sunday...we’ll see how it goes.
 
Damaris.Elle said:
Lol a while back I said I wanted to keep my roster small, but there's 3 new guys I met over the past week that *may* join my winter roster:laugh:
One is a Jamaican guy who grew up in the US., I met him at a Friendsgiving party. He moved to Cali from the east cost not too long ago. The second one is a Nigerian guy who moved to the US a few years ago, I met him at a networking event. The third one is from Dallas and moved to Cali 3 years ago, I met him on an app. I’ve never dated a Jamaican or Nigerian man. I think I remember seeing several posts on here that say to watch out for Jamaican and Nigerian men....getting ready to do a search :laugh:. I go out with the Dallas guy tomorrow, the Nigerian guy on Friday night and the Jamaican dude on Sunday...we’ll see how it goes.
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-I really enjoyed my date with the Jamaican guy last night. He's not exactly my "type" physically, but he is good looking. I felt very comfortable around him and the conversation flowed easily. He works in the tech field...a field I'm completely unfamiliar with, so it was interesting hearing about that. Before the date was over, we set up another date for later this week.

-The Nigerian guy was cool, a little "touchy-feely". He took any and every opportunity he could to make casual physical contact with me....but I liked it.:laugh:

-The Dallas dude cancelled, but I ended up going out with the Libra guy I've been talking to for a while now instead...I always enjoy going out with him.
 
shespoison said:
After two whole years, crushbae and I are finally on the same page.

He is ready for us to be exclusive, and I am a little scared. I have to give up all my heaux. It's hard, but it is time.

I haven't given him an answer yet. I think I'm going to do a goodbye tour for all my beautiful fans.
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Yes good bye tour!

I'm happy you and crush bae are giving it a go.
 
0318F4E4-DAB1-4D3B-A567-3DD8ED8FF22D.jpeg I just had the biggest fight with my best friend. We rode to his bday party together and his ex wife was there. He was all over her/vice versa so I left. We were in my car. He could’ve come with me, but he was being stubborn. Everyone took my side and said that he was wrong. I felt super disrespected. And if I had stayed there would’ve been a fight

I don’t know if we’ll ever talk again, but tonight is the second night of his party and I’ve already made Jell-O shots. I gotta figure out something to do with them
 
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