*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

shespoison said:
Thank you. I've used both of those links before. For some reason I am still having trouble.

The idea of unloading all my crazy stories on a stranger is frightening. I only want a black woman around my age but the chances that we run in the same circles are high. I am pretty sure that its anxiety that has me thinking like that. What's a girl to do?
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I would let that go. I have gotten some of my best support from white women and white men. You would be surprised at how kind and understanding the right person can be. Focus on finding a human being to help you heal and move forward. What you are limiting yourself to is too rigid.
 
hopeful said:
I would let that go. I have gotten some of my best support from white women and white men. You would be surprised at how kind and understanding the right person can be. Focus on finding a human being to help you heal and move forward. What you are limiting yourself to is too rigid.
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It’s not really the kindness I am worried about. I have white ppl in my life that I care about but I always feel a way after revealing certain things to them. They find a way to casually question my experiences. I find that it’s often the “nice” white ppl that cause me the most harm.

The more I think about why it’s so hard for me to find a therapist, the more I realize I need one. This life has reallllly done a number in me.
 
shespoison said:
It’s not really the kindness I am worried about. I have white ppl in my life that I care about but I always feel a way after revealing certain things to them. They find a way to casually question my experiences. I find that it’s often the “nice” white ppl that cause me the most harm.

The more I think about why it’s so hard for me to find a therapist, the more I realize I need one. This life has reallllly done a number in me.
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I understand. Just encouraging you to open up your options so that you can get the healing you need and deserve. Try not to be so narrow. Good luck.

Sometimes just getting going leads you to another person as well. Sometimes you just gotta take a leap.
 
So I ended up going out with the Pisces dude this past Friday (we were originally supposed to go out Tuesday, but rescheduled) I think the date went really well. We went out to dinner and we were there for about 3 hours and I didn't even realize it because we were talking the whole time.

He grew up in Houston and is actually the first guy I've gone out with who is not California born and raised. One thing I did find out that kind of gave me pause is that he is a religious Christian. I was raised Christian, but I am not religious, don't consider myself "Christian" and do not go to church. So I kind of got the sense that he viewed me as a "wild woman"...which I am :lachen:. This kind of made me realize that I can be kind of close-minded too. As soon as I heard the words "Church" and "Christian" come out of his mouth, I got turned off and was kind of ready to write him off. But he seemed open-minded and we had a great conversation about spirituality, etc. He said he wanted to go out again...I would go out with him again.
 
Damaris.Elle said:
So I ended up going out with the Pisces dude this past Friday (we were originally supposed to go out Tuesday, but rescheduled) I think the date went really well. We went out to dinner and we were there for about 3 hours and I didn't even realize it because we were talking the whole time.

He grew up in Houston and is actually the first guy I've gone out with who is not California born and raised. One thing I did find out that kind of gave me pause is that he is a religious Christian. I was raised Christian, but I am not religious, don't consider myself "Christian" and do not go to church. So I kind of got the sense that he viewed me as a "wild woman"...which I am :lachen:. This kind of made me realize that I can be kind of close-minded too. As soon as I heard the words "Church" and "Christian" come out of his mouth, I got turned off and was kind of ready to write him off. But he seemed open-minded and we had a great conversation about spirituality, etc. He said he wanted to go out again...I would go out with him again.
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Your friday was better then the one i had.(the ninja was half high and semi-wack. I wish he was just being hisself.)
Sidenote: Pisces men vibe is weird to me.but that coming from a Gemini.
 
I found this great prayer for your future spouse on YouTube. It’s pretty long so I only do it on the weekends. I pray along with her and repeat the words she does but I use the words “we” and “us” becuase I noticed a lot of the things she’s praying for in a spouse I could use for myself. I know this isn’t the Christian forum but I thought maybe someone can find it useful.
 
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I don't give men a chance (cries). They ask for my number and I turn into a 65 year old granny. I am kind to refuse while asking "what do you do?" And saying things like "I really shouldn't ". I end up walking away leaving them numberless. I am 33 going on 72 years old. I can't trust!!
 
I Am So Blessed said:
I don't give men a chance (cries). They ask for my number and I turn into a 65 year old granny. I am kind to refuse while asking "what do you do?" And saying things like "I really shouldn't ". I end up walking away leaving them numberless. I am 33 going on 72 years old. I can't trust!!
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But right under your name says you’re easy going. Are you lying? :lachen:

Chazz said:
If don't meet somebody by 2020.. Im over dating ...period. I plan to be single for a long time.
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Stop. PM if you need to.
 
i just wanna vent....

so let me start by saying i am dating a men with a young child (2 years old). the child and mother live out of state. fast forward to my birthday which we spend in Cabo in June, and i was randomly getting new followers but 1 stood out because he was the only friend we had him common. so i ask him does he know this IG acount and he's like nah probably someone i just added (profile hasn't posted a picture since 2018 and had 31 followers).

so this weekend i get a message from the fake profile saying "are you his "???"'s girlfriend? somebody told me you were and you were together in Cabo for your birthday" so i show him the messgae and i block the account. this girl messages me from another fake page "if you are just tell me i'll fall back" blocked again. she has literally made about 6 fakes pages and my IG is public so she just trying to view my story hoping i post him. i'm a bit annoyed at this point. he asked her about the fakes and she denied it. and i ain't making my page private so i guess i'ma have to deal with the foolish until she gives up (6 pages should be enough right lol?)
 
ms.tatiana said:
i just wanna vent....

so let me start by saying i am dating a men with a young child (2 years old). the child and mother live out of state. fast forward to my birthday which we spend in Cabo in June, and i was randomly getting new followers but 1 stood out because he was the only friend we had him common. so i ask him does he know this IG acount and he's like nah probably someone i just added (profile hasn't posted a picture since 2018 and had 31 followers).

so this weekend i get a message from the fake profile saying "are you his "???"'s girlfriend? somebody told me you were and you were together in Cabo for your birthday" so i show him the messgae and i block the account. this girl messages me from another fake page "if you are just tell me i'll fall back" blocked again. she has literally made about 6 fakes pages and my IG is public so she just trying to view my story hoping i post him. i'm a bit annoyed at this point. he asked her about the fakes and she denied it. and i ain't making my page private so i guess i'ma have to deal with the foolish until she gives up (6 pages should be enough right lol?)
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How does she know that her ex has a new girlfriend and that ya'll went to Cabo? Is he posting things on his social media or does he have 'friends' who run and tell the ex?

No sis, I shouldn't have to tell you to fall back- I'm not your concern.
 
Kookookiwi said:
It can be hard out here. I’m hoping that even if you don’t meet “the one” quite yet, you get to learn from and enjoy this experience! At the least the date should be enjoyable.

Is there anything in particular that has you feeling discouraged?
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The anti black is a big issue for me.
Then just the way black woman get treated as well.
Like im so angry with the black man. About they way the treated us. Then praise other races of woman. And only date us when there dream woman. Turn them down or takes all there money.

I just feel like all these man, just been rub me the wrong way.
Then im turn off from talking to them.
I just ghost there behind.
That not the right way i should be dealing with them. But i do and i know im wrong.
Just one im angry about something. I can't calm down or talk about how i feel, without blow up. Then when i do talkable(in a soft tone)they just act like its not a problem. (One man saided i think too much. I was ready to check him.)That just makes it's worse for me. (I feel there playing games with me.)

This is not me .. Im never really upset about a thing. Im feel spirited person.
So im pretty chill, all the time.
Sorry it's so long.

However if this keep happening... Im stop dating. Just because this too much for my nerves. And at 30th im to old for this foolish. I could be help feed the homeless version dealing with man.
 
Ms. Tarabotti said:
How does she know that her ex has a new girlfriend and that ya'll went to Cabo? Is he posting things on his social media or does he have 'friends' who run and tell the ex?

No sis, I shouldn't have to tell you to fall back- I'm not your concern.
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No the only way this girl could have found me is because my IG isn’t private and she went through his friend list and seen i was posting in Cabo at the same time. And neither one of us posted each other but I guess she trying to put it together.

6FCFF081-C2CA-4198-B428-30667E6C79B0.jpeg

2901D096-3E0D-4611-8498-E08A96067A6E.png
 
ms.tatiana said:
No the only way this girl could have found me is because my IG isn’t private and she went through his friend list and seen i was posting in Cabo at the same time. And neither one of us posted each other but I guess she trying to put it together.

View attachment 449139

View attachment 449141
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Why is she asked you these questions? Why is it a big deal too.
 
It's great that a lot of you can recognize how you feel/behave during this stage and are looking for ways to get the help you need. Taking a break can be a great thing. Take as long as you need and enjoy the process. Being happy in my singleness is one of the reasons why I'm able to walk away from toxic people.

Chazz said:
The anti black is a big issue for me.
Then just the way black woman get treated as well.
Like im so angry with the black man. About they way the treated us. Then praise other races of woman. And only date us when there dream woman. Turn them down or takes all there money.
Click to expand...

The things being said about black women from black men are horrible. It can really destroy your sense of self if you're not careful. Are you open to dating out? I recently became accepting of the idea of dating non-black men and its one of the best decisions I've made for myself.
 
LovingLady said:
It's great that a lot of you can recognize how you feel/behave during this stage and are looking for ways to get the help you need. Taking a break can be a great thing. Take as long as you need and enjoy the process. Being happy in my singleness is one of the reasons why I'm able to walk away from toxic people.



The things being said about black women from black men are horrible. It can really destroy your sense of self if you're not careful. Are you open to dating out? I recently became accepting of the idea of dating non-black men and its one of the best decisions I've made for myself.
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No im not into interracial dating. Alot of the times they fetish black women and act weird.

I only date people of color. I am only attractive to dark skin tone.
I will just have to keep praying that the most high will send a great man my way.
 
Chazz said:
No im not into interracial dating. Alot of the times they fetish black women and act weird.

I only date people of color. I am only attractive to dark skin tone.
I will just have to keep praying that the most high will send a great man my way.
Click to expand...

Open your options up!!! Open your heart to love, being loved, being treated well, period. Start there. Not with being attracted to dark skin. Check out this YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/Christelyn1 and seek out others as well.

This is a good website that talks a lot about healthy relationships: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
 
hopeful said:
Open your options up!!! Open your heart to love, being loved, being treated well, period. Start there. Not with being attracted to dark skin. Check out this YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/Christelyn1 and seek out others as well.

This is a good website that talks a lot about healthy relationships: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
Click to expand...


Im sorry but that not a option for me. Im not into other races of people. My loyal is to my people ... Period... Even with our man being brainwashed. How can i turn my back on them and be ignored to the true. No i dont like what they do. Even if that means not getting married or having kids. I can't go along with this self hate mindset.
I feel disrespected with this advice.

I have a brother who is a black man. This will broken his heart , to see be torn down black man all together.

Plus black is not the only people of color Native American,Haiti , Hispanic and black is apart of people of color. Trust i have option.
 
Chazz said:
Im sorry but that not a option for me. Im not into other races of people. My loyal is to my people ... Period... Even with our man being brainwashed. How can i turn my back on them and be ignored to the true. No i dont like what they do. Even if that means not getting married or having kids. I can't go along with this self hate mindset.
I feel disrespected with this advice.

I have a brother who is a black man. This will broken his heart , to see be torn down black man all together.

Plus black is not the only people of color Native American,Haiti , Hispanic and black is apart of people of color. Trust i have option.
Click to expand...


wow to bolded.

No reason to feel disrespected. We're a sisterhood that want to see each other win. Being loved in a healthy relationship is a part of that and sometimes as black women we may have to open our options.
 
Chazz said:
Im sorry but that not a option for me. Im not into other races of people. My loyal is to my people ... Period... Even with our man being brainwashed. How can i turn my back on them and be ignored to the true. No i dont like what they do. Even if that means not getting married or having kids. I can't go along with this self hate mindset.
I feel disrespected with this advice.

I have a brother who is a black man. This will broken his heart , to see be torn down black man all together.

Plus black is not the only people of color Native American,Haiti , Hispanic and black is apart of people of color. Trust i have option.
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Sorry if you felt disrespected. That was not my intention at all. I wish you, me, and all of the ladies here love and happiness. And to be a little more clear. I’m not saying abandon black men. My suggestion was that your primary focus be on being loved, valued, and respected first. Then go from there. But I understand. You gotta do what’s best for you. I wish you nothing but the best. Good luck.
 
Chazz said:
The anti black is a big issue for me.
Then just the way black woman get treated as well.
Like im so angry with the black man. About they way the treated us. Then praise other races of woman. And only date us when there dream woman. Turn them down or takes all there money.

I just feel like all these man, just been rub me the wrong way.
Then im turn off from talking to them.
I just ghost there behind.
That not the right way i should be dealing with them. But i do and i know im wrong.
Just one im angry about something. I can't calm down or talk about how i feel, without blow up. Then when i do talkable(in a soft tone)they just act like its not a problem. (One man saided i think too much. I was ready to check him.)That just makes it's worse for me. (I feel there playing games with me.)

This is not me .. Im never really upset about a thing. Im feel spirited person.
So im pretty chill, all the time.
Sorry it's so long.

However if this keep happening... Im stop dating. Just because this too much for my nerves. And at 30th im to old for this foolish. I could be help feed the homeless version dealing with man.
Click to expand...

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Taking on the burden for an entire race and gender of people is a lot to put on yourself. Take your time, feel down angry whatever, and then brush yourself off and remember what a catch you are! Seriously, the type of men you’re talking about who are making you feel this way aren’t worth your peace or energy. *** them!! Easier said than done sometimes, I know. Which is why you take the time to acknowledge your feelings, and then get to work on building yourself back up, and removing anyone who gets in the way of that.

Sorry if that was too lecturey. I hope you get to feeling better!
 
cocomochaa said:
wow to bolded.

No reason to feel disrespected. We're a sisterhood that want to see each other win. Being loved in a healthy relationship is a part of that and sometimes as black women we may have to open our options.
Click to expand...


Im going to stop posting and just like everyone else on this thread.
Sorry that my personality is too bold.
 
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Kookookiwi said:
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Taking on the burden for an entire race and gender of people is a lot to put on yourself. Take your time, feel down angry whatever, and then brush yourself off and remember what a catch you are! Seriously, the type of men you’re talking about who are making you feel this way aren’t worth your peace or energy. *** them!! Easier said than done sometimes, I know. Which is why you take the time to acknowledge your feelings, and then get to work on building yourself back up, and removing anyone who gets in the way of that.

Sorry if that was too lecturey. I hope you get to feeling better!
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Thanks for all your advise. You real have helped.:2inlove:
 
Wooo I'm in tears. I've been feeling weird the past month especially the last 2 weeks. I knew something was off. Well he just called me an hour ago saying he doesn't have the mental capacity for a relationship at this time. This is the guy I posted about in here that I met in January.

Ugh I feel do disappointed and also my cousin died on Monday evening. This week sucks. I hate everything now.
 
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