*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Him: I'm not interested in a relationship right now
Me: Oh I'm not interested in dating you
Him:
tenor.gif


:rolleyes:
 
well this a tough week:
Just got back from a farewell party for one of my homegirls who's moving away. The party was thrown by her boyfriend who she met through me & the last guy I dated. Having to see them together and knowing me and my guy didn't make it was a horrible reminder all night. Then I found out my closest friend is getting a surprise engagement by her boyfriend soon and everybody is going to be there to witness. THEN I found out today one of my distant cousins (who was in her 30s like me) is getting married soon. Is it terrible I feel like this :oops:. Not to mention all the white girls at my job who got engaged back to back after dating their boyfriends less than 3 years. Here it is 2 years later and I'm still not over the last guy.

Not that I'm not happy for everyone, but it's hard to get that full happiness for other people when you feel you are lagging behind
 
It was my first weekend in BK and it was pretty dope. I hope it’s not just beginners luck. I was walking from one event to another last night and I hear someone call my name. It was a lil cutie who I met through his cousin (she and I don’t speak anymore.) His eyes nearly popped out his head when he asked me what I was doing in BK and I told him I moved here the day before.


I went on a date with an ig boo today. We had lunch and went to the Met. It was good old fashioned fun.

Dealing with him made me realize how raggedy most other dudes are. He contacts me regularly without overdoing it. He isn’t playing games and makes it clear that he is interested in seriously dating me. It’s like wow, this is how it feels when a man puts in consistent effort.

Instagram has been the BEST app when it comes to dating. I just have to post a decent picture every once in a while.
 
When I was at a low (lonely) point, I found out about and bought crystals. Crystals to help manifest love into my life. Then it was whatever would help me find happiness apart from my loneliness. I spent money on crystal after crustal after crystal. I wore them around my neck, in my pocket, at my bedside, under my pillow,etc.
I charged them, etc, etc.

More than a year later, I’m still in the same place. I am going to throw them all out. I decided that The more I yearn for love, the lonelier I become. I’m tired. It’s time for me to accept that it won’t happen for me. I think I’ll be happier once I accept that and move on from my expectation that I will find love.

2019 will be a new journey for me.
 
:bighug:Awww....no need throw out all the beautiful crystals. Sometimes when we overfocus/obsess with something, that thing etc., becomes seemingly more elusive.

Enjoy your crystals but change your focus. Focus on other passions, interests, knowledge etc. Keep putting yourself out there for the purpose of enjoying your life. Do not carry around the aura of doom and the attitude of MUST find THE ONE right this instant.

Take a breather for a bit to genuinely enjoy other aspects of your life. We have all been there!:bighug:

TwoSnapsUp said:
When I was at a low (lonely) point, I found out about and bought crystals. Crystals to help manifest love into my life. Then it was whatever would help me find happiness apart from my loneliness. I spent money on crystal after crustal after crystal. I wore them around my neck, in my pocket, at my bedside, under my pillow,etc.
I charged them, etc, etc.

More than a year later, I’m still in the same place. I am going to throw them all out. I decided that The more I yearn for love, the lonelier I become. I’m tired. It’s time for me to accept that it won’t happen for me. I think I’ll be happier once I accept that and move on from my expectation that I will find love.

2019 will be a new journey for me.
Click to expand...
 
I had a date last Friday and I basically stood him up.

So, we were supposed to meet up Black Friday and cancelled, well, because. So we postponed for Monday but the weather was crap. So, during the week, he’d just contact me enough to act like he was trying but it wasn’t happening. So Friday, nothing. No contact, nothing. I was in the area and just went shopping with a friend. So I didn’t go, blocked him and went drinking with friends. Didn’t care. Now his number is deleted from my phone. My gut told me it wasn’t happening either.

That leaves long distance bae and work bae.

Last, I keep trying to avoid the porter in my building but I already know it’s coming.
 
gimbap said:
Dude on Bumble was complaining about meeting only materialistic girls. I asked him to give me an example, he said one wanted to go to PF Changs on the first date. Is PF Changs considered expensive :look: Unmatched :lol:
Click to expand...
I wonder, do non-Black men ever complain about “materialistic” or “gold-digging” women?

I’m not asking because I think non-BM are “better”, I’m genuinely curious because I don’t hear much about non-BMs complaints since my interactions are limited.
 
sgold04 said:
I wonder, do non-Black men ever complain about “materialistic” or “gold-digging” women?

I’m not asking because I think non-BM are “better”, I’m genuinely curious because I don’t hear much about non-BMs complaints since my interactions are limited.
Click to expand...

Same. To be fair, it's usually only the broke black guys hollering about gold diggers and what not. If these dudes would just stay in their lanes, they wouldn't have to worry about pleasing such money hungry women. I mean, how dare this materialistic woman fix her mouth to request such luxury like PF Changs on the first date??
 
gimbap said:
Same. To be fair, it's usually only the broke black guys hollering about gold diggers and what not. If these dudes would just stay in their lanes, they wouldn't have to worry about pleasing such money hungry women. I mean, how dare this materialistic woman fix her mouth to request such luxury like PF Changs on the first date??
Click to expand...
You nailed it right on the head! Folks don’t wanna stay in their lanes.
 
I've been speaking to this black guy on POF, nice chap but the guy is exhausting. He's a nice looking man but he's got so much baggage (children and his ex) that I don't see how he has time for a relationship. I actually feel bad whenever he sends me a message. I'm going to have to say thanks but no; I want to just take the easy way out and block him but I can't. :ohwell: I have to do something because where most guys sends one message and then waits for a response he sends about 5 or 6, it's doing my brain in. I told him about a Stephen King book that I finished recently, he went out and bought the same book. I told him about a smoothie that I made (nothing special just a simple green smoothie) but he's talking about going out to buy the ingredients so he can make my "fabulous sounding" smoothie.

He's the sort of guy that if I blocked him, he would create a new account and find me to ask out why, needing closure lol. He's far far too needy for someone who I haven't even met!

I've been on a few dates with the hot Portuguese guy. I need to keep telling myself that he isn't boyfriend material. Well I'm having a nice time...
 
LushLox said:
I've been speaking to this black guy on POF, nice chap but the guy is exhausting. He's a nice looking man but he's got so much baggage (children and his ex) that I don't see how he has time for a relationship. I actually feel bad whenever he sends me a message. I'm going to have to say thanks but no; I want to just take the easy way out and block him but I can't. :ohwell: I have to do something because where most guys sends one message and then waits for a response he sends about 5 or 6, it's doing my brain in. I told him about a Stephen King book that I finished recently, he went out and bought the same book. I told him about a smoothie that I made (nothing special just a simple green smoothie) but he's talking about going out to buy the ingredients so he can make my "fabulous sounding" smoothie.

He's the sort of guy that if I blocked him, he would create a new account and find me to ask out why, needing closure lol. He's far far too needy for someone who I haven't even met!

I've been on a few dates with the hot Portuguese guy. I need to keep telling myself that he isn't boyfriend material. Well I'm having a nice time...
Click to expand...
He’s exhausting because he’s needy.
 
gimbap said:
Same. To be fair, it's usually only the broke black guys hollering about gold diggers and what not. If these dudes would just stay in their lanes, they wouldn't have to worry about pleasing such money hungry women. I mean, how dare this materialistic woman fix her mouth to request such luxury like PF Changs on the first date??
Click to expand...
I had a similar situation not to long ago with a guy. I posted about him, that he was upset that I “had the gall to give him a google voice number”.

In true fashion, he changed his name and matched me again. Finally got a phone call and told me it shouldn’t matter what he does or how much he makes; he has a job and a pension. And he’s tired of women just wanting to know how much he makes. I told him I had a job too. He said he had a pension. I told him I had one for almost a decade. He said he has an ira. I told him I had a healthy one too. He said he never been to jail and I told him I have two degrees. He got upset. I told him I never asked him for money or about his job, so he should have left that conversation alone if he didn’t want to risk being hurt. He still said women should be grateful and I politely told him it’s likely his opening line for the thotty pippins and that he’s not used to anything.

You don’t want a gold digger, just shut up.
 
This week in VB's Adventures in Becoming Human...

My friends (and therapist) are trying to explain to me why someone might seek a relationship. After a few hundred examples, three things have resonated with me:
  1. The feeling of eating a really good meal and wanting to share it with someone
  2. Buying yourself a book and wishing someone gifted it to you instead
  3. Thinking about how much I look forward to going home and seeing my puppy. But instead of a puppy, it's like...a person :look:
So, I'm going to keep these things in mind next time I have the urge to ghost a completely nice young man for seemingly no reason.
 
LushLox said:
I've been speaking to this black guy on POF, nice chap but the guy is exhausting. He's a nice looking man but he's got so much baggage (children and his ex) that I don't see how he has time for a relationship. I actually feel bad whenever he sends me a message. I'm going to have to say thanks but no; I want to just take the easy way out and block him but I can't. :ohwell: I have to do something because where most guys sends one message and then waits for a response he sends about 5 or 6, it's doing my brain in. I told him about a Stephen King book that I finished recently, he went out and bought the same book. I told him about a smoothie that I made (nothing special just a simple green smoothie) but he's talking about going out to buy the ingredients so he can make my "fabulous sounding" smoothie.

He's the sort of guy that if I blocked him, he would create a new account and find me to ask out why, needing closure lol. He's far far too needy for someone who I haven't even met!

I've been on a few dates with the hot Portuguese guy. I need to keep telling myself that he isn't boyfriend material. Well I'm having a nice time...
Click to expand...

This guy just gets worse. I casually mentioned that I was watching Greenleaf on Netflix, I didn't recommend it, or give a review or anything just that I was watching it. He replied that he didn't have Netflix. Imagine my surprise the next day when he says he not only looked up Greenleaf (okay not so bad I guess) but then he actually gets Netflix now so he can watch Greenleaf just like me.

The behaviour is just weird. I'm morbidly fascinated about what he's going to do or say next. But maybe I'm being mean, I should probably just do the right thing and either block the guy or tell him bye as he seems to be getting his hopes up that we're going to meet and get married or something.
 
LushLox said:
This guy just gets worse. I casually mentioned that I was watching Greenleaf on Netflix, I didn't recommend it, or give a review or anything just that I was watching it. He replied that he didn't have Netflix. Imagine my surprise the next day when he says he not only looked up Greenleaf (okay not so bad I guess) but then he actually gets Netflix now so he can watch Greenleaf just like me.

The behaviour is just weird. I'm morbidly fascinated about what he's going to do or say next. But maybe I'm being mean, I should probably just do the right thing and either block the guy or tell him bye as he seems to be getting his hopes up that we're going to meet and get married or something.
Click to expand...

Does he not have any of his own interests? I get the you would want to be compatible with a person and share interests but this seems kind of creepy-like he is just an empty vessel just waiting to mirror your actions.
 
LushLox said:
This guy just gets worse. I casually mentioned that I was watching Greenleaf on Netflix, I didn't recommend it, or give a review or anything just that I was watching it. He replied that he didn't have Netflix. Imagine my surprise the next day when he says he not only looked up Greenleaf (okay not so bad I guess) but then he actually gets Netflix now so he can watch Greenleaf just like me.

The behaviour is just weird. I'm morbidly fascinated about what he's going to do or say next. But maybe I'm being mean, I should probably just do the right thing and either block the guy or tell him bye as he seems to be getting his hopes up that we're going to meet and get married or something.
Click to expand...
Sounds creepy. That sounds like if you wanted to, you can control him.
I would be fascinated to but I already know he would be blocked.
 
Ms. Tarabotti said:
Does he not have any of his own interests? I get the you would want to be compatible with a person and share interests but this seems kind of creepy-like he is just an empty vessel just waiting to mirror your actions.
Click to expand...

cinnespice said:
Sounds creepy. That sounds like if you wanted to, you can control him.
I would be fascinated to but I already know he would be blocked.
Click to expand...

It is very creepy and weird behaviour. I've blocked him now, it'll be interesting to see if he's that ridiculous that he creates a new profile and tries to find me lol
 
Saludable84 said:
I had a similar situation not to long ago with a guy. I posted about him, that he was upset that I “had the gall to give him a google voice number”.

In true fashion, he changed his name and matched me again. Finally got a phone call and told me it shouldn’t matter what he does or how much he makes; he has a job and a pension. And he’s tired of women just wanting to know how much he makes. I told him I had a job too. He said he had a pension. I told him I had one for almost a decade. He said he has an ira. I told him I had a healthy one too. He said he never been to jail and I told him I have two degrees. He got upset. I told him I never asked him for money or about his job, so he should have left that conversation alone if he didn’t want to risk being hurt. He still said women should be grateful and I politely told him it’s likely his opening line for the thotty pippins and that he’s not used to anything.

You don’t want a gold digger, just shut up.
Click to expand...
I’m pretty sure I saw this guy on the train today and he just kept staring and smirking at me. I must now change time zones.
 
Do you feel safe meeting up after literally one conversation?

Do men really ask that of women? Maybe Im dating myself but Umm, Im not meeting you after 5 minute conversation typing.

totally random but maybe not. Back in like 2005, I spoke to someone on the phone after e-knowing them for years online ( AOL chatrooms) and I hung the phone up so fast. He sounded like he murdered people in his spare time. The creepiest voice ever.
 
shawnyblazes said:
Do you feel safe meeting up after literally one conversation?

Do men really ask that of women? Maybe Im dating myself but Umm, Im not meeting you after 5 minute conversation typing.

totally random but maybe not. Back in like 2005, I spoke to someone on the phone after e-knowing them for years online ( AOL chatrooms) and I hung the phone up so fast. He sounded like he murdered people in his spare time. The creepiest voice ever.
Click to expand...

Hell NO, we’ll be talking for a while first before I even consider it.

The guys that ask for your WhatsApp details after five minutes make me laugh then they go all silent when you say no lol.

Speaking of meeting I have a coffee date this afternoon so will see how that goes.
 
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