*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

sgold04 said:
Am I wrong for this?

I was thinking of going to a conference back home (LA) in March, and a former colleague/friend hit me up about the same conference. We discussed this back in July or August. My professional development funds will cover it, her job won’t, and she cant afford to go if she has to cover lodging on her own. I said if I decided to go and I got approval, she could stay in my hotel room and I’d get double beds (I don’t want to stay with family, they monopolize my time). I forgot all about it because of my move and work at the new job revved up.

My fave DC boo hit me up tonight and said he wants to come see me, we discussed dates and he says Jan or March is best for him. March is better for me, so I tell him he can come to Dallas, or meet me in LA. He says LA works for him, so he’ll search for flights tomorrow morning.


I didn’t remember about my tentative invite to my friend until after I confirmed with him . I’d much rather spend my time having hot steamy relations with him and showing him the city. If she were one of my close friends, I wouldn’t feel “guilty” because they are similar to me as far as unbotheredness goes, but she is highly sensitive, and the fact that I’d be with a boo would have her extra in her feelings (because she has no boos).

Thoughts? We haven’t discussed in months and never confirmed attendance, so maybe I’m over thinking this?
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I would find out if she paid for anything yet. Dropping her when you know she doesn’t have the funds is trash IMO. I know she isn’t a close friend but you offered to share with her and now you are taking it back knowing she can’t really afford it. If she already paid for the conference, I’d ask Boothang to book a room and go half with her. If she hasn’t paid for anything tell her plans changed and you’ll no longer be booking a hotel room. But I wouldn’t leave her hanging.
 
SlimPickinz said:
I would find out if she paid for anything yet. Dropping her when you know she doesn’t have the funds is trash IMO. I know she isn’t a close friend but you offered to share with her and now you are taking it back knowing she can’t really afford it. If she already paid for the conference, I’d ask Boothang to book a room and go half with her. If she hasn’t paid for anything tell her plans changed and you’ll no longer be booking a hotel room. But I wouldn’t leave her hanging.
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When we talked about it over the summer, we said we wouldn’t book without confirming that we were going, and I haven’t heard from her since then so I’m assuming she didn’t book since neither of us confirmed. I do need to check with her though to make sure. If she paid, I wouldn’t cancel on her.
 
I went on a nice date last night, the guy was very hot, nice athletic body and handsome; Portuguese. Had a nice little kiss at the end of the evening

There’s always a but though. I’m not really convinced he’s into monogamy, of course he says he is but, he would wouldn’t he lol. I just feel like I’ll be setting myself up for future heartbreak with him. I haven’t really got any evidence to support this feeling it’s just a gut instinct. I may have to just keep him around for my....needs because I just know he’ll be good lol

I’ve got a couple more dates lined up with other guys. If nothing else I’m enjoying myself right now, it’s about time I’m fed up of cocooning myself.
 
My plan today is to get some personal things done for my business. At least finish up what I can. Fine.

Thank you @PrissiSippi for your screenshots. I know I was weak with laughter, but it helped me a lot. A guy who I just get “hook-up” vibes with asked to see me today. I told him where in NY I live. He seems to think everyone lives in Brooklyn or yankee stadium. He’s from jersey. This :clown: asked me to come to jersey for dinner and he’d take me home because he has to “work from home” today. And then if anything goes wrong, I’m supposed to worry about how to get home? I have a car but the assumption that I don’t told me enough.

:goodone: I ghosted as soon as he proposed the decision. I’m not even blocking him, I’m just going to Casper this conversation.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Online dating is challenging. You have to sift a lot. This is a guy I met in High school but saw on POF.

He kept asking me did I stay at home with my parents or did I live alone. I asked oh honey why does it matter. He gave me some bs story about he has a daughter and sometimes he may want to bring her over my house. I was like well honey we can discuss that when that issue comes to par but as for right now that's not the issue at hand. He kept going back and forth. I asked why would he bring his daughter to a place he didn't know? Wouldn't he want her to be comfortable
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He needs a place to stay and freeload. Love how you cut him.
 
I am not looking as Im casually seeing someone but I always like options. A guy I was "talking" to for three weeks casually mentions he lives in public housing. I was on the other end of the phone like this, o_O . Mind you he told me three weeks prior he moved back in to help his mother with the bills. So, who has bills living in public housing? I politely finished the conversation and haven't spoken to him since. I called my cousin and three other girlfriends to talk about it.:arguing:

1. Isnt that the first thing you should disclose? He was asking me over for Thanksgiving. Uh...what?
2. Isnt that the first thing you should have disclosed? Im STILL in awe
 
LivingDoll said:
The ex yes....I want to see where things can go, but I need for him to want it just as badly. If he doesn't I don't want it. I feel like my world has been turned upside down. I really need to get a grip. :lachen:

Hemorrhoids dude is also an ex, but I'm not interested in him.
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Do you mind me asking why you went back? Did you guys talk? I don’t want to push “the talk” because it’s not necessary if it’s something you both want. Perhaps you don’t need a grip, just move at a steady pace where there is no pressure on either party.

I’m avoiding hemorrhoids dude for a reason. Ugh.
 
shawnyblazes said:
I am not looking as Im casually seeing someone but I always like options. A guy I was "talking" to for three weeks casually mentions he lives in public housing. I was on the other end of the phone like this, o_O . Mind you he told me three weeks prior he moved back in to help his mother with the bills. So, who has bills living in public housing? I politely finished the conversation and haven't spoken to him since. I called my cousin and three other girlfriends to talk about it.:arguing:

1. Isnt that the first thing you should disclose? He was asking me over for Thanksgiving. Uh...what?
2. Isnt that the first thing you should have disclosed? Im STILL in awe
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They have to get you emotionally invested so you can bypass all of that.

Kinda like a “size does matter” thing. If they are trying to emotionally connect, usually, there’s a catch. :look:
 
Saludable84 said:
They have to get you emotionally invested so you can bypass all of that.

Kinda like a “size does matter” thing. If they are trying to emotionally connect, usually, there’s a catch. :look:
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Ain no way I'm bypassing public housing. You had a strike against you for living in NY. I'm in NJ. I discussed my reservations due to my schedule, THEN you live with your mother. So . now you're going to slide public housing in there. Nah suh. Yuh nah ready fi dis!

I just feel like some of these men think as long as they consider themselves a catch then all else should be looked over. I'm irritated I wasted three weeks of conversation on you. :rolleyes:
 
Saludable84 said:
Do you mind me asking why you went back? Did you guys talk? I don’t want to push “the talk” because it’s not necessary if it’s something you both want. Perhaps you don’t need a grip, just move at a steady pace where there is no pressure on either party.

I’m avoiding hemorrhoids dude for a reason. Ugh.
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Well, we were together when we were very young, 24-25yo. We cared for one another but at the time he wasn't ready for the type of commitment that I wanted. We are in our 40's now, and things are much different. Our kids are basically grown, and our finances are much better than they were back then. We had a talk about what we wanted, and he said he wanted to see where we could take things. He says he's open for a relationship, but we aren't really dating yet...just talking regularly and getting reacquainted. It's only been 2-3 weeks but I'm a bit impatient. We haven't gone out or spent any time together face to face. My norm is to ghost on a dude by now, but I feel different about him. Despite that, there's only so much I can do in this type of situation. I'll just continue dating others.

ETA: My sister said that he is acting normal, and that at the friendship stage people don't act like they're in a relationship (regular calls, regular dates, etc.) She seems to think he is just moving slow to make sure that this is what he wants before we get all hot and heavy.
 
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shawnyblazes said:
Ain no way I'm bypassing public housing. You had a strike against you for living in NY. I'm in NJ. I discussed my reservations due to my schedule, THEN you live with your mother. So . now you're going to slide public housing in there. Nah suh. Yuh nah ready fi dis!

I just feel like some of these men think as long as they consider themselves a catch then all else should be looked over. I'm irritated I wasted three weeks of conversation on you. :rolleyes:
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:lachen::lachen:

Nope. You did not waste time. You learned a lesson. Always go with your gut, even if it isnt a red flag. Upthread, there was a convo about guys thinking they are a prize. I blocked a guy because he definitely said something that indicated as much even though it pertained to work. You learned and you will use it better the next time. Because there will be a next time and next time, you'll be better prepared.
 
shawnyblazes said:
I am not looking as Im casually seeing someone but I always like options. A guy I was "talking" to for three weeks casually mentions he lives in public housing. I was on the other end of the phone like this, o_O . Mind you he told me three weeks prior he moved back in to help his mother with the bills. So, who has bills living in public housing? I politely finished the conversation and haven't spoken to him since. I called my cousin and three other girlfriends to talk about it.:arguing:

1. Isnt that the first thing you should disclose? He was asking me over for Thanksgiving. Uh...what?
2. Isnt that the first thing you should have disclosed? Im STILL in awe
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Not to excuse him but people who live in public housing still have bills to pay. Contrary to popular opinion, not everyone who lives in public housing is on welfare and government handouts.

Dude should have told you up front and not string out his little 'revelations'.
 
gimbap said:
He gave himself a compliment and then fished for more compliments :rofl: I cannot
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I HATE men like that. And before he told me his girl HAS to be bad. He's sorry but his girlfriend has to be very very model-like attractive. And then he looks like a pile of pebbles. The boy is so ugly that even Hello Kitty said Goodbye. AND he has acne. They trip me out with that. Men put themselves on this high pedestal and set the standard high on what kind of girl they want....but women get shunned for it. Nah son. lol

And then I ghosted him and he has called me a good 15 times. That tells a lot as well. Who calls 15 times after a girl doesn't respond. Just move on *shrugs*

OAN: I really want to go freestylin' soon. I really want to meet a man with means. Even if we don't make it or are in a relationship, I want to see how the vibes are different. I want to experience a very generous man.
 
Dude should have told you up front and not string out his little 'revelations'

He could have been clearer. The story went from you moved in with your mother to I live in public housing and my heat is off. There were too many variables and not enough information nor the inclination for me to delve into finding out the who what and where.

I have plenty of family living in affordable housing. Its a little more to the story but no thank you.

ETA. The quote function always gets me lost in the sauce.

@Ms. Tarabotti
 
shawnyblazes said:
Dude should have told you up front and not string out his little 'revelations'

He could have been clearer. The story went from you moved in with your mother to I live in public housing and my heat is off. There were too many variables and not enough information nor the inclination for me to delve into finding out the who what and where.

I have plenty of family living in affordable housing. Its a little more to the story but no thank you.

ETA. The quote function always gets me lost in the sauce.

@Ms. Tarabotti
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My uncle does this. He starts out moving in to help some relative next thing you know he's living with the woman, driving her car, and eating up her vittles. You did right. There was nowhere for that to go but down, and not in a good way.
 
shawnyblazes said:
I am not looking as Im casually seeing someone but I always like options. A guy I was "talking" to for three weeks casually mentions he lives in public housing. I was on the other end of the phone like this, o_O . Mind you he told me three weeks prior he moved back in to help his mother with the bills. So, who has bills living in public housing? I politely finished the conversation and haven't spoken to him since. I called my cousin and three other girlfriends to talk about it.:arguing:

1. Isnt that the first thing you should disclose? He was asking me over for Thanksgiving. Uh...what?
2. Isnt that the first thing you should have disclosed? Im STILL in awe
Click to expand...

I literally got the same story from a dude as well and i just walked away.

I don't know how i feel anymore about online dating or just dating in general.
I had to block a guy on line because i asked him what he did for a living and he told me full time dad since the child's mother passed away.
Now I'm sorry that happened to him and the child but how does that lead to you not working.......so many questions.....head hurt......blocked :drunk:
Blocked another fool who I used to date who developed amnesia as to why we stopped talking....I had time...talked him like normal.......he asked when i can come over......i said you remember what happened the last time? He said understood and then un-matched me online...only reason i know cause i was about to block him and he was gone:hot:. I think i hurt his feelings:angeldevil:he saved my from lifting my finger to do the work.
I don't know what's going on with maybe I'm just un-bothered by trail load of messages from guys :jester:who have no business in my inbox........either that or I developed and evil bone:mwahahafire: and cinnespice will be back when she finds someone worthy:missing: cause I'm tired. I just don't understand men these days, like who raised you? a pack of wolves with no manners.

Just focusing on myself and finishing up my degree.
 
Im sure people at work think Im crazy. I am laughing so hard. This is because somehow, it became acceptable for men to be bums and we are supposed to help a brother out. I specifically told work bae that I am not part of that work-it-out plan, but I did not specify it to him. I dont think anything he is doing now is for my benefit, but some guys need to know that without you, Im good...so you need to bring better and not nothing at all. The bar is non-existent for them.
 
I just spoke to my gf after a few months of not speaking(life).

Her daughter lost her police badge over a no good piece of rat poo. She graduated the police academy and had her badge less than a year. She found out he was cheating and hit him in the mouth with her service weapon. Then he turned around and left with it after she put it down.

Now she has a record and can’t get a job anywhere.

Her mother told her time and time again to leave that trash where she found him. Now she’s struggling.

It’s very frustrating to hear.
 
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shawnyblazes said:
I just spoke to my gf after a few months of not speaking(life).

Her daughter lost her police badge over a no good piece of rat poo. She graduated the police academy and had her badge less than a year. She found out he was cheating and hit him in the mouth with her service weapon. Then he turned around and left with it after she’s put it down.

Now she has a record and can’t get a job anywhere.

Her mother told her time and time again to leave that trash where she found him. Now she’s struggling.

It’s very frustrating to hear.
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Smh I really hope she can find work soon.
 
shawnyblazes said:
I just spoke to my gf after a few months of not speaking(life).

Her daughter lost her police badge over a no good piece of rat poo. She graduated the police academy and had her badge less than a year. She found out he was cheating and hit him in the mouth with her service weapon. Then he turned around and left with it after she’s put it down.

Now she has a record and can’t get a job anywhere.

Her mother told her time and time again to leave that trash where she found him. Now she’s struggling.

It’s very frustrating to hear.
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Damn not worth it. I hope she can work around it.
 
Me too! @cinnespice Her mom said its getting tight for her. This happened in February. They took her badge immediately but the city still had on her parole for awhile. Shes doing lyft and her friends are helping her out by giving her odd jobs and such.

Such a promising career but eye-opening because sometimes our emotions override everything. I have been so close to losing my cookies at one point but I've worked too hard to let the devil steal anything from me.

I'm also paranoid Id have to fight in jail every day to protect my goodies. No thank you.
 
shawnyblazes said:
Me too! @cinnespice Her mom said its getting tight for her. This happened in February. They took her badge immediately but the city still had on her parole for awhile. Shes doing lyft and her friends are helping her out by giving her odd jobs and such.

Such a promising career but eye-opening because sometimes our emotions override everything. I have been so close to losing my cookies at one point but I've worked too hard to let the devil steal anything from me.

I'm also paranoid Id have to fight in jail every day to protect my goodies. No thank you.
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Me too I would never want to end up a snack for big bertha in jail fighting for my life.
Never. And not due to a man. If a guy cheats on me, we done. I told my ex when he did whomever it was done with they can now have you. I'm not gonna fight, cut or argue with no one over you. We both worked for the city at the time, you get arrested your job is out the door in some cases. I hope somehow this can be overturned and she can move on. But she will never be a cop again but at least she can work.
 
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