*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

[Reinventing21]

Hey ladies...so me and dude are just trudging along. We've been talking every day. Debating about politics, reminiscing, flirting...lol. It's cool. He's an Aries and I know how they are at first. They like to chase and they also like to test, so I've been just playing it cool. I give just enough so he knows that I'm interested but not too much that he feels like he's the prize.

He has been studying for a big certification at his job, and we haven't gone out yet. It's still very early, so I'm just enjoying this stage. We've only been kicking it for a little less than a week so I'll give him another week to ask me out. After that I'm ghosting on him.

Sounds fun!!! If he studying hard though for recertification, I don't know that I would ghost him so soon, but rather just fall back (ie., not talk every day).

 

[LivingDoll]

Sounds fun!!! If he studying hard though for recertification, I don't know that I would ghost him so soon, but rather just fall back (ie., not talk every day).

It is fun...he is blowing my mind just the way I like. My lady parts are on fire right now with desire.

ETA: I'm a sapiosexual, so mind stimulation is a MUST for me to get sexually excited. The last few men I dated didn't cut it for me mentally...I can really tell the difference. You don't realize what you're missing until you get it. My last boyfriend was so sweet and nurturing but he was a dim bulb despite being a teacher. I struggled in that relationship for months trying to get decent thoughts out of him. I just couldn't. This new thing is a breath of fresh air. I'm breathing the air slowly though.


He takes his test today...that's why he's getting another week. Maybe two. That's it.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

It is fun...he is blowing my mind just the way I like. My lady parts are on fire right now with desire.

ETA: I'm a sapiosexual, so mind stimulation is a MUST for me to get sexually excited. The last few men I dated didn't cut it for me mentally...I can really tell the difference. You don't realize what you're missing until you get it. My last boyfriend was so sweet and nurturing but he was a dim bulb despite being a teacher. I struggled in that relationship for months trying to get decent thoughts out of him. I just couldn't. This new thing is a breath of fresh air. I'm breathing the air slowly though.


He takes his test today...that's why he's getting another week. Maybe two. That's it.

I loooove alla this! He better step it up though, I hate when they lallygag with inviting folks out





And you’re so right about not knowing what you’ve been missing until you get it . One of the men I’m dating is all about mind stimulation and I’ve been in a constant state of agitation

I didn’t realize why or what he was doing until he told me that he loves to purposely build tension and get into a woman’s mind first.

Y’all pray for my strength.

 

[LivingDoll]

I loooove alla this! He better step it up though, I hate when they lallygag with inviting folks out

And you’re so right about not knowing what you’ve been missing until you get it . One of the men I’m dating is all about mind stimulation and I’ve been in a constant state of agitation

I didn’t realize why or what he was doing until he told me that he loves to purposely build tension and get into a woman’s mind first.

Y’all pray for my strength.

YAAAASSSS! The tension building is a beast. PURE. DELICIOUS. TORTURE.

He sends me music from time to time...either he makes a short vid when he's driving so I can hear a song on the radio or he sends a vid from YT. Last night he sent me Ella Mai's Close. OMG.

I listened to a tarot love reading (don't judge, its all in fun) and it was 100% accurate for my situation. She said a past lover has returned...he is now a much better person and he wants to build a new relationship. He is tying up loose ends (she said the loose ends could be an old relationship and/or money/work) to prepare for our relationship. We shall see if that comes to fruition.
ETA: She said he is soul searching to ensure he can deliver something solid and that is the reason for his trepidation...le sigh.

 

[shespoison]

I went to a sexy event yesterday and met some nice men. I was being super anti-social because although I am disgustingly friendly, I hate schmoozing.

For some reason, being anti-social made all the men come to me and playfully call me out. I told them why would I stop now if it makes y’all do all the work.

I really hit it off with another dude who was anti schmooze. We ended up eating at the soho house after and I can’t even tell y’all what I let that man do to me.

 

[cinnespice]

I went to a sexy event yesterday and met some nice men. I was being super anti-social because although I am disgustingly friendly, I hate schmoozing.

For some reason, being anti-social made all the men come to me and playfully call me out. I told them why would I stop now if it makes y’all do all the work.

I really hit it off with another dude who was anti schmooze. We ended up eating at the soho house after and I can’t even tell y’all what I let that man do to me.

Whatever he did hope you had fun

 

[UniquelyDivine]

YAAAASSSS! The tension building is a beast. PURE. DELICIOUS. TORTURE.

He sends me music from time to time...either he makes a short vid when he's driving so I can hear a song on the radio or he sends a vid from YT. Last night he sent me Ella Mai's Close. OMG.

I listened to a tarot love reading (don't judge, its all in fun) and it was 100% accurate for my situation. She said a past lover has returned...he is now a much better person and he wants to build a new relationship. He is tying up loose ends (she said the loose ends could be an old relationship and/or money/work) to prepare for our relationship. We shall see if that comes to fruition.
ETA: She said he is soul searching to ensure he can deliver something solid and that is the reason for his trepidation...le sigh.

Girl no judgement from me! I have a reader that I go to when I visit my hometown and she always hits the nail on the head.

A few ladies in this thread have used her services too and felt she was spot on!

 

[shespoison]

Whatever he did hope you had fun

I shole did.

 

[movingforward13]

Had a lunch date today. It went well- so well that I posted this as my Facebook post when I went home (he can’t see it)

Not sure how I feel about him. He is into politics and very well known. Very pro black. I like him and am attracted but I don’t know. I will see where this goes.

Another guy asked me for my number before the date started- I explained to him I was on a date. He asked for the number any way since “it was only a first date” - his words so I said whatever and gave it to him.

Then I told my date what happened in a ha ha way. Date asked him if I gave my number out and my response.
“Yes I did. I am starting to do things different because I don’t know where my husband is going to come from. I have to keep my options open.” Maybe he was shocked I was so bold- not sparing any feelings. But it didn’t impact our date. Great time- good conversation and then he did that as we were leaving. Grabbed my hand and started playing with my ring finger. I wasn’t sure what he was doing at first until he asked. Date is early 40s, other guy was early 30s or maybe late 20s.

 

[lavaflow99]

Had a lunch date today. It went well- so well that I posted this as my Facebook post when I went home (he can’t see it)

Not sure how I feel about him. He is into politics and very well known. Very pro black. I like him and am attracted but I don’t know. I will see where this goes.

Another guy asked me for my number before the date started- I explained to him I was on a date. He asked for the number any way since “it was only a first date” - his words so I said whatever and gave it to him.

Then I told my date what happened in a ha ha way. Date asked him if I gave my number out and my response.
“Yes I did. I am starting to do things different because I don’t know where my husband is going to come from. I have to keep my options open.” Maybe he was shocked I was so bold- not sparing any feelings. But it didn’t impact our date. Great time- good conversation and then he did that ask we were leaving. Grabbed my hand and started playing with my ring finger. I wasn’t sure what he was doing at first until he asked. Date is early 40s, other guy was early 30s or maybe late 20s.

Get it lady! You and @UniquelyDivine are not playing! Reclaiming your place as the "prize" in the relationship.

You are a real G for letting that man know you have others in the wing. Love it! And seems like he responded like a real man and wasn't scared away by your boldness/keeping it real.

Keep us posted and gather that roster!

 

[LivingDoll]

Girl no judgement from me! I have a reader that I go to when I visit my hometown and she always hits the nail on the head.

A few ladies in this thread have used her services too and felt she was spot on!

Is your hometown in the DMV?

 

[movingforward13]

A few ladies in this thread have used her services too and felt she was spot on!

I used her right?

I wonder if her prophesy is coming true for me. Time will tell.

 

[movingforward13]

Get it lady! You and @UniquelyDivine are not playing! Reclaiming your place as the "prize" in the relationship.

You are a real G for letting that man know you have others in the wing. Love it! And seems like he responded like a real man and wasn't scared away by your boldness/keeping it real.

Keep us posted and gather that roster!

LMAO I didn’t even think of it like that. Was just telling him as a funny story of me waiting for him. But maybe you right- subconsciously I am telling him I am the prize.
He is on my Facebook though so he knows other men are interested.

So I found out more info about him. He is 40, no kids and single. He is an activist. VERY pro black. Let’s see where this goes. I am very physically attracted to him but I am not sold. That is probably a good thing- it will keep me from getting too attached so he would have to work for it.

The other dude hit me up at well. 37, single no kids but DEFINITELY not stable.

 

[sgold04]

Am I wrong for this?

I was thinking of going to a conference back home (LA) in March, and a former colleague/friend hit me up about the same conference. We discussed this back in July or August. My professional development funds will cover it, her job won’t, and she cant afford to go if she has to cover lodging on her own. I said if I decided to go and I got approval, she could stay in my hotel room and I’d get double beds (I don’t want to stay with family, they monopolize my time). I forgot all about it because of my move and work at the new job revved up.

My fave DC boo hit me up tonight and said he wants to come see me, we discussed dates and he says Jan or March is best for him. March is better for me, so I tell him he can come to Dallas, or meet me in LA. He says LA works for him, so he’ll search for flights tomorrow morning.


I didn’t remember about my tentative invite to my friend until after I confirmed with him . I’d much rather spend my time having hot steamy relations with him and showing him the city. If she were one of my close friends, I wouldn’t feel “guilty” because they are similar to me as far as unbotheredness goes, but she is highly sensitive, and the fact that I’d be with a boo would have her extra in her feelings (because she has no boos).

Thoughts? We haven’t discussed in months and never confirmed attendance, so maybe I’m over thinking this?

 

[Daughter]

Giving online dating a proper try for the first time and I'm getting fed up already :/

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Giving online dating a proper try for the first time and I'm getting fed up already :/

What's going on? Any stories to share?

 

[Daughter]

What's going on? Any stories to share?

Had a date, thought we were vibing and planned to meet next weekend, but I've been ghosted already. Lots of strange dudes to sift through... Ah well I'm meeting another dude for coffee in a few days

 

[Saludable84]

Giving online dating a proper try for the first time and I'm getting fed up already :/

I deleted POF because then dudes were exhausting and I blocked most of the guys I gave my number to anyway. I’m on CMB right now and I like it a little better, but I deleted a convo by accident and now I’m upset because he was really cool

 

[LdyKamz]

Am I wrong for this?

I was thinking of going to a conference back home (LA) in March, and a former colleague/friend hit me up about the same conference. We discussed this back in July or August. My professional development funds will cover it, her job won’t, and she cant afford to go if she has to cover lodging on her own. I said if I decided to go and I got approval, she could stay in my hotel room and I’d get double beds (I don’t want to stay with family, they monopolize my time). I forgot all about it because of my move and work at the new job revved up.

My fave DC boo hit me up tonight and said he wants to come see me, we discussed dates and he says Jan or March is best for him. March is better for me, so I tell him he can come to Dallas, or meet me in LA. He says LA works for him, so he’ll search for flights tomorrow morning.


I didn’t remember about my tentative invite to my friend until after I confirmed with him . I’d much rather spend my time having hot steamy relations with him and showing him the city. If she were one of my close friends, I wouldn’t feel “guilty” because they are similar to me as far as unbotheredness goes, but she is highly sensitive, and the fact that I’d be with a boo would have her extra in her feelings (because she has no boos).

Thoughts? We haven’t discussed in months and never confirmed attendance, so maybe I’m over thinking this?

So sounds like you double booked. Since you've already decided you'd rather be with your guy, the sooner you tell her plans have changed, the better. No need to over think. You'll make yourself crazy.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Online dating is challenging. You have to sift a lot. This is a guy I met in High school but saw on POF.

He kept asking me did I stay at home with my parents or did I live alone. I asked oh honey why does it matter. He gave me some bs story about he has a daughter and sometimes he may want to bring her over my house. I was like well honey we can discuss that when that issue comes to par but as for right now that's not the issue at hand. He kept going back and forth. I asked why would he bring his daughter to a place he didn't know? Wouldn't he want her to be comfortable

 

[Daughter]

I deleted POF because then dudes were exhausting and I blocked most of the guys I gave my number to anyway. I’m on CMB right now and I like it a little better, but I deleted a convo by accident and now I’m upset because he was really cool

Which one is CMB? I'm on OkCupid.

AARGH! Hope the guy you accidentally deleted will be in touch soon!

 

[Daughter]

Online dating is challenging. You have to sift a lot. This is a guy I met in High school but saw on POF.

He kept asking me did I stay at home with my parents or did I live alone. I asked oh honey why does it matter. He gave me some bs story about he has a daughter and sometimes he may want to bring her over my house. I was like well honey we can discuss that when that issue comes to par but as for right now that's not the issue at hand. He kept going back and forth. I asked why would he bring his daughter to a place he didn't know? Wouldn't he want her to be comfortable

How strange!! Sounds kinda suspect to me

 

[PrissiSippi]

How strange!! Sounds kinda suspect to me

He’s just looking for someone to smash. They ask do you have your own place so they can come over get comfortable and smash early.

 

[LdyKamz]

Online dating is challenging. You have to sift a lot. This is a guy I met in High school but saw on POF.

He kept asking me did I stay at home with my parents or did I live alone. I asked oh honey why does it matter. He gave me some bs story about he has a daughter and sometimes he may want to bring her over my house. I was like well honey we can discuss that when that issue comes to par but as for right now that's not the issue at hand. He kept going back and forth. I asked why would he bring his daughter to a place he didn't know? Wouldn't he want her to be comfortable

Yeah this is too much. After your "Great" with the peace sign you should have left it at that and let him talk to himself. Dudes are annoying as hell thinking negging is going to get them somewhere. Insult you so he can get a response and keep the conversation going was what he tried. Block, delete and take the next one on the roster off the bench.

And his "there's lots of benefits to having someone cool and local" is just straight up f boi talk to me.

 

[Saludable84]

Which one is CMB? I'm on OkCupid.

AARGH! Hope the guy you accidentally deleted will be in touch soon!

Coffee meet Bagel. And I’m hoping so.

 

[Saludable84]

Online dating is challenging. You have to sift a lot. This is a guy I met in High school but saw on POF.

He kept asking me did I stay at home with my parents or did I live alone. I asked oh honey why does it matter. He gave me some bs story about he has a daughter and sometimes he may want to bring her over my house. I was like well honey we can discuss that when that issue comes to par but as for right now that's not the issue at hand. He kept going back and forth. I asked why would he bring his daughter to a place he didn't know? Wouldn't he want her to be comfortable

That “didn’t grow in height and maturity” had me seeing red. I’m glad he begged and got safari curved.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Yeah this is too much. After your "Great" with the peace sign you should have left it at that and let him talk to himself. Dudes are annoying as hell thinking negging is going to get them somewhere. Insult you so he can get a response and keep the conversation going was what he tried. Block, delete and take the next one on the roster off the bench.

And his "there's lots of benefits to having someone cool and local" is just straight up f boi talk to me.

Isn’t it dusty talk!! I’m going to work in saying what I said and being done earlier. Silence says a LOT.

That “didn’t grow in height and maturity” had me seeing red. I’m glad he begged and got safari curved.

And it’s so crazy alpha men even f boi like this can’t stand to be rejected. He hasn’t sent me about 10 messages on POF asking me to unblock and let him buy me a Christmas present instead.

 

[Saludable84]

Mini update:

I feel like I have to “talk” to work Bae too much get him to make me comfortable with him, but he seems to be receptive to adapting to my needs so maybe I shouldn’t think much of it. He also keeps telling me that he’s working hard on saving and if I don’t ask about it, he brings up his process towards his goal anyways. My head says nothing he is doing is benefiting me in the long run, but there is no harm in listening.

Met a guy last night. He’s nice and seems cool. He said he’d like to see me again and I stated likewise, but if I get ghosted, im cool with it. What I take from it: a new place to have drinks with friends

Im meeting another guy tomorrow. Brunch. He talks too much. I’ll meet friends afterwards.

I was supposed to go out to a cabaret with a guy tonight but I blocked him last minute. Why? I spoke to him last Sunday and it was cool. Pro-Black Women too. But then I spoke to him on Thursday and got a huge red flag. Like a “he’s the prize” vibe. So, I blocked him.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Mini update:

I feel like I have to “talk” to work Bae too much get him to make me comfortable with him, but he seems to be receptive to adapting to my needs so maybe I shouldn’t think much of it. He also keeps telling me that he’s working hard on saving and if I don’t ask about it, he brings up his process towards his goal anyways. My head says nothing he is doing is benefiting me in the long run, but there is no harm in listening.

Met a guy last night. He’s nice and seems cool. He said he’d like to see me again and I stated likewise, but if I get ghosted, im cool with it. What I take from it: a new place to have drinks with friends

Im meeting another guy tomorrow. Brunch. He talks too much. I’ll meet friends afterwards.

I was supposed to go out to a cabaret with a guy tonight but I blocked him last minute. Why? I spoke to him last Sunday and it was cool. Pro-Black Women too. But then I spoke to him on Thursday and got a huge red flag. Like a “he’s the prize” vibe. So, I blocked him.

What’s up with these men that think that they are the prize? Look at this dude compliment himself and when ask what made me talk to him. Ummm guy YOU approached me. You must forgot? I wanted to say that but I just ghosted instead.

 

[Saludable84]

What’s up with these men that think that they are the prize? Look at this dude compliment himself and when ask what made me talk to him. Ummm guy YOU approached me. You must forgot? I wanted to say that but I just ghosted instead.

I need your curve skills