*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

LivingDoll said:
Ok, ladies that are "perusing" online sites, I need to get y'all opinions...

Do you ever get the sense that these guys (most of them, even the ones that are a strong 2-6 looks wise) are passing up beautiful obviously Black "normal" women for "insta-thots" and exotics? I have seen a lot of men that actually say in their profile that they prefer non-Black women (thank God that they are honest)...but what about a lot of the other guys? Do y'all think that's causing many of us to have difficulty with meeting quality guys?

If I'm wrong (and hopefully I am wrong for the most part -- but, I'm aware that there are always outliers) I'm wrong....but if the majority of the Blk men ain't even checking for us, we're waging an uphill battle.

Open to hearing what you ladies think. I hope no one takes offense to the question.
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Wasn't there an article posted on here recently about this?
 
gimbap said:
Wasn't there an article posted on here recently about this?
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@gimbap I think I saw the article you’re referring to. If I remember correctly, it said that men aim for the best looking (9-10s) but I don’t think it spoke specifically about the preference of certain types of women or different/mixed races. I took it to mean that white men that are average looking tend to shoot their shot with “hottie” (their term not mine) WW.
 
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LivingDoll said:
Ok, ladies that are "perusing" online sites, I need to get y'all opinions...

Do you ever get the sense that these guys (most of them, even the ones that are a strong 2-6 looks wise) are passing up beautiful obviously Black "normal" women for "insta-thots" and exotics? I have seen a lot of men that actually say in their profile that they prefer non-Black women (thank God that they are honest)...but what about a lot of the other guys? Do y'all think that's causing many of us to have difficulty with meeting quality guys?

If I'm wrong (and hopefully I am wrong for the most part -- but, I'm aware that there are always outliers) I'm wrong....but if the majority of the Blk men ain't even checking for us, we're waging an uphill battle.

Open to hearing what you ladies think. I hope no one takes offense to the question.
Click to expand...
Idk I don't really pay attention to things like this so my idea of how many black men are looking for "other" women might be skewed. Personally no matter what it says in the profile, as soon as I see something in it that I don't like I click out. Online is a numbers game so I'm not really counting how many men are duds because I'm going through so many so quickly that the ones I don't like don't stand out in any way whatsoever (unless we have some sort of exchange). So yeah I haven't noticed what it is that men are looking for and how I don't fit into that. I'm more like what I'm looking for and how they do or do not fit that. But again, my opinion on this is a bit skewed because of the way I'm using the apps.
 
LivingDoll said:
@gimbap I think I saw the article you’re referring to. If I remember correctly, it said that men aim for the best looking (9-10s) but I don’t think it spoke specifically about the preference of certain types of women or different/mixed races. I took it to mean that white men that are average looking tend to shoot their shot with “hottie” (their term not mine) WW.
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Gotcha. What I have noticed is that black men like to put pics of them with white women in their profiles, as if to tell the Beckys "Look! I'm Becky friendly!" It's pitiful to me and I always swipe left. But like @LdyKamz said, I go through guys so fast on dating apps that I'm not really checking for ones that aren't checking for me, have things in their profile that I don't like, are boring, or who don't really want anything but a pen pal
 
gimbap said:
Gotcha. What I have noticed is that black men like to put pics of them with white women in their profiles, as if to tell the Beckys "Look! I'm Becky friendly!" It's pitiful to me and I always swipe left. But like @LdyKamz said, I go through guys so fast on dating apps that I'm not really checking for ones that aren't checking for me, have things in their profile that I don't like, are boring, or who don't really want anything but a pen pal
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White guys do this too. Pay close enough attention. Like “I’m cool and an equal opportunity lover”.
 
Saludable84 said:
White guys do this too. Pay close enough attention. Like “I’m cool and an equal opportunity lover”.
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I notice white guys tend to have women and all kinds of other people in their pics, period. They love a damn group pic. And I’ve also noticed if black men have a black woman in their pic they usually have a disclaimer ie “that’s my sister” lol
 
Evolving78 said:
My subscription ends later this month, so I don’t think I will be renewing it. I’m gonna really focus on my studies. I gotta give it my all and get rid of many distractions as possible. I love everyone here and have enjoyed my time throughout the years! This forum has been my refuge. Nothing compares to lhcf! I’m not saying goodbye, but see ya later! Lol
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Awww I'm going to miss you - I do hope you do come back. You're a great source of help to many on here! Best of luck with your studies. :yep:
 
LdyKamz said:
Idk I don't really pay attention to things like this so my idea of how many black men are looking for "other" women might be skewed. Personally no matter what it says in the profile, as soon as I see something in it that I don't like I click out. Online is a numbers game so I'm not really counting how many men are duds because I'm going through so many so quickly that the ones I don't like don't stand out in any way whatsoever (unless we have some sort of exchange). So yeah I haven't noticed what it is that men are looking for and how I don't fit into that. I'm more like what I'm looking for and how they do or do not fit that. But again, my opinion on this is a bit skewed because of the way I'm using the apps.
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That’s a good way to approach using the app. I was quickly going through them when I first started but I felt like I was being hasty so I decided to start giving it more thought. Now I’m thinking too much. So yeah, this ain’t working either. I’ll have to keep in mind that its a numbers game and keep it movin...
 
gimbap said:
Gotcha. What I have noticed is that black men like to put pics of them with white women in their profiles, as if to tell the Beckys "Look! I'm Becky friendly!" It's pitiful to me and I always swipe left. But like @LdyKamz said, I go through guys so fast on dating apps that I'm not really checking for ones that aren't checking for me, have things in their profile that I don't like, are boring, or who don't really want anything but a pen pal
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Yes, I’m taking the same approach from now on. How long are you talking to people before you give them your number? Guys ask right away and i’m always like....uh, nah :look:
 
LivingDoll said:
Yes, I’m taking the same approach from now on. How long are you talking to people before you give them your number? Guys ask right away and i’m always like....uh, nah :look:
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No set time limit, as soon as we get into a good chat rhythm and seem to be compatible, we usually exchange numbers either by him asking or me suggesting. Worst case scenario, you can always block them
 
LushLox said:
Yes! In my experience it’s always the younger guys trying to get an older woman. Not sure who they’re trying to fool because most of the time it’s fairly obvious that they’re not the age they claim to be.
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I've seen both younger and older guys doing this and I wish they would stop. It's just not necessary and usually pretty obvious. I saw a guy I know on bumble claiming to be 34, he just turned 40 not too long ago. Another guy I was talking to was 36 but had his age listed as 33 "It won't let me change my age" Like why'd you put the wrong age to begin with
 
Evolving78 said:
My subscription ends later this month, so I don’t think I will be renewing it. I’m gonna really focus on my studies. I gotta give it my all and get rid of many distractions as possible. I love everyone here and have enjoyed my time throughout the years! This forum has been my refuge. Nothing compares to lhcf! I’m not saying goodbye, but see ya later! Lol
Click to expand...

Aww I’m going to miss you too. Wishing you nothing but the best :kiss:.
 
gimbap said:
I don't think I have the attention span for dating apps, or at least not Bumble. A lot of these guys aren't very engaging it seems and that they like having the woman pursue them. I can't carry the conversation by myself, and once I'm bored I'm like NEXT! Out of the 15-ish active matches/chats I have open on Bumble, only 2 are engaging, 4 are chatting but boring as all hell, the others are just sitting there, haven't responded (then why did you swipe right?! WHY?!)
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This is also my exact issue with Bumble. The quality of conversation is pretty low. Even though the onus of initiating a chat is on women — which in some regards I think is a good thing — some of these still guys can't carry a conversation to save their lives. I unmatch after 2-3 messages if it's clear they have no conversational skills.
 
Evolving78 said:
Anyone not currently dating, or seeking a mate here? I would love to hear from ya and your perspective on single life!
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Me!

I have a lot of other goals body and health wise as well as working on a business and focusing on raising DS. So I really don’t even have the time to think about the singleness per see. And for those other itches got a nice b.o.b.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
Me!

I have a lot of other goals body and health wise as well as working on a business and focusing on raising DS. So I really don’t even have the time to think about the singleness per see. And for those other itches got a nice b.o.b.
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This type of investment is life-changing. Without going into too much detail, it rearranges the mentality of suscepting oneself to the idiocy of some men, or lowering standards just for the end goal of satisfaction that most men can't give anyways.
 
sunflora said:
This type of investment is life-changing. Without going into too much detail, it rearranges the mentality of suscepting oneself to the idiocy of some men, or lowering standards just for the end goal of satisfaction that most men can't give anyways.
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Believe me I know. I’ve been trying to tell my Friend. But she ain’t ready.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
Me!

I have a lot of other goals body and health wise as well as working on a business and focusing on raising DS. So I really don’t even have the time to think about the singleness per see. And for those other itches got a nice b.o.b.
Click to expand...

What is b.o.b?

I’m also not currently looking to date. I haven’t been impressed by anyone for a loooong time, so I’m just not interested right now. Im focusing on losing the stress weight I gained and getting my new place together.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
Me!

I have a lot of other goals body and health wise as well as working on a business and focusing on raising DS. So I really don’t even have the time to think about the singleness per see. And for those other itches got a nice b.o.b.
Click to expand...
sunflora said:
This type of investment is life-changing. Without going into too much detail, it rearranges the mentality of suscepting oneself to the idiocy of some men, or lowering standards just for the end goal of satisfaction that most men can't give anyways.
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Thanks for your input ladies! Singleness has so much to offer! I am embracing and enjoying. I didn’t feel that way when I was younger. Marriage and romantic relationships are about sacrifice and compromise. Someone feelings always has to be included, or taken into consideration. That’s just not where I’m at now in life. All of my time and energy goes towards me and my children now.
movingforward13 said:
Battery operated boyfriend.

Mine was expensive / $150+
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I never had a good hiding place, so I just threw it away... out here roughin it! Lol do a lot of breathing!!! Lol
 
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