*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

tocktick said:
I think it's possible to be treated very well (like a queen) without being uncomfortable with the intensity or pace of things. Maybe there's more to the story here but if you feel like the situation is a bit overwhelming already that intuition is valid and doesn't mean you want less for yourself.
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I think it's because in the past, dudes have seemingly fallen in love with me quickly...and then clearly they fall out of love because I'm still single. Dude just met me in person for the first time yesterday and today he's sending me a message saying he misses me. I prefer a slow burn rather than something that will fizzle out quickly

But I also admit that me being single for so long and having such awful dating experiences these past few years has me a bit guarded. I'm trying to get rid of the wall that I've put up and let myself open up and be treated like a queen, because that is really what I truly want
 
Why are dudes wasting my time? Cute guy wants to text me to death without making a date. We chatted via text for a bit yesterday but I didn't want to talk long that way so I kept my answers short. He wasn't asking me out so I deleted the text box (which means I also deleted the number because of course he doesn't get a save) Just now I get a text I guess referencing something from yesterday. I don't respond. I get another text and I write back the obligatory who dis? He goes off! "Oh so I don't text you for 1 day and I'm already deleted?! Wtf?" I did not respond and now he's blocked. Crazy fool.
 
LdyKamz said:
My ex sent me a text today with a counting down gif letting me know he knows my birthday is coming up. He asked me if he could take me out to celebrate. I have no feelings for him or about him so I absent mindedly wrote back sure I'll let you know when. This fool gonna say Sunday evening? Sunday is my birthday. You think I won't have anything better to do on the actual day other than hanging out with you when we haven't seen each other in ages? Um sorry sir not happening.
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So this fool got a lot of nerve. He texted me non stop until the day of my birthday I guess thinking he was gonna fit into my schedule. No not happening. So then he finally gave up and said he could take me for a drink later in the week. I took the bait y'all like a darn fool. I said I was free Thursday. Since then he has been ghost. Again, like a fool I wrote today and asked to confirm for tomorrow since another friend is trying to get up with me.

He responds and basically wants to fight about me not fitting him in on MY birthday saying he would have appreciated it if I gave him a heads up and rescheduled plans since he rearranged his schedule for me. I politely wrote back that there was no reason to reschedule anything because nothing was scheduled and while it's too bad if he missed out on something waiting around for me that was neither my fault nor my responsibility. I then told him I appreciated the birthday wishes and to take care. BLOCKED! See what happens when you be nice to these mofos. Blocked Blocked and Blocked again!
 
LdyKamz said:
Why are dudes wasting my time? Cute guy wants to text me to death without making a date. We chatted via text for a bit yesterday but I didn't want to talk long that way so I kept my answers short. He wasn't asking me out so I deleted the text box (which means I also deleted the number because of course he doesn't get a save) Just now I get a text I guess referencing something from yesterday. I don't respond. I get another text and I write back the obligatory who dis? He goes off! "Oh so I don't text you for 1 day and I'm already deleted?! Wtf?" I did not respond and now he's blocked. Crazy fool.
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Lol, aint nobody got time for TextPals.... :perplexed:
 
My subscription ends later this month, so I don’t think I will be renewing it. I’m gonna really focus on my studies. I gotta give it my all and get rid of many distractions as possible. I love everyone here and have enjoyed my time throughout the years! This forum has been my refuge. Nothing compares to lhcf! I’m not saying goodbye, but see ya later! Lol
 
gimbap said:
I think it's because in the past, dudes have seemingly fallen in love with me quickly...and then clearly they fall out of love because I'm still single. Dude just met me in person for the first time yesterday and today he's sending me a message saying he misses me. I prefer a slow burn rather than something that will fizzle out quickly
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I tend to have the same problem. My last boyfriend told me on our first date that he was going to marry me. He brought me gifts to our first 3-4 dates (I had to make him stop)...called/texted multiple times a day...offered to buy me things...I mean, he was all in. I endured because he was such a nice guy. He was nice, but that was all he was. There was no emotional or psychological complexity to him. He was a shell of a person. After some time passed I realized that he learned to win women over by over-compensating for the things he was lacking. He would do anything material to maintain the relationship BUT he wasn't capable of having decent banter about current events, his opinions or anything. At the end, I felt guilty that I wanted out after all the nice things he'd done, but I couldn't bear another day with him. I pitied him. He was #TEAMTOOMUCH.

So, I said all that to say, people overcompensate to make up for their shortcomings. We should trust our instincts.
 
Evolving78 said:
Why do you choose online dating?
It seems men that choose online dating, don’t feel they need to put much effort to win a woman over. It seems exhausting and less hopeful, trying to sift through all of that.
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Not all. I met SO online and multiple members here met their SOs/DHs online. It can work, if both parties have realistic expectations and yes, a little bit of luck.
 
Good date. He kept saying I was young, which started to bother me a little. But when he found out how old I was, he said he thought I was 10 years younger. Very attractive guy. Very pro black. Said he enjoyed his time with me and I was a beautiful person in and out.
He wants to make plans to get together again. I didn’t ask his age.
 
gimbap said:
I think it's because in the past, dudes have seemingly fallen in love with me quickly...and then clearly they fall out of love because I'm still single. Dude just met me in person for the first time yesterday and today he's sending me a message saying he misses me. I prefer a slow burn rather than something that will fizzle out quickly

But I also admit that me being single for so long and having such awful dating experiences these past few years has me a bit guarded. I'm trying to get rid of the wall that I've put up and let myself open up and be treated like a queen, because that is really what I truly want
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Interesting. I used to experience this. Someone told me it has to do with my aura of mystery and once a guy realizes he can approach me he feels like he's already conquered his fears.
 
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I always hear about women trying to change men but in my experiences, it's been the exact opposite. I find that men get mad when I don't act how they want me to act or become who they want me to be. If I was abc from day 1, why did you think I would morph into xyz just because I'm with you? Boggles the mind
 
movingforward13 said:
Good date. He kept saying I was young, which started to bother me a little. But when he found out how old I was, he said he thought I was 10 years younger. Very attractive guy. Very pro black. Said he enjoyed his time with me and I was a beautiful person in and out.
He wants to make plans to get together again. I didn’t ask his age.
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I’m glad you had fun but why didn’t you ask his age? Lol that was such a big thing for you when you first mentioned him. Are you afraid of being with a significantly older man?
 
Dee-Licious said:
Dannnng that didn’t take long. Glad you didn’t waste a lot of time with him?
What happened?
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Long story [kinda] short:

He wanted Saturday to be our first date (fancy movie theater that serves food), but I insisted on meeting up at Starbucks earlier in the week. Everything went fine, perfect gentleman. Thursday he asked if he could come over, I said no. He got upset and blew up on me. Didn't really get back on speaking terms until Saturday morning and even then it wasn't the same. I thought about cancelling and even typed up this long text explaining that his reactions when I don't answer his questions/do what he wants is unsettling and that I'm not interested in pursuing anything with him anymore, but I decided to just go and see if things would be different.

He picked me up, we were talking like normal, movie went fine, end of the movie he goes to the bathroom and never comes back. Sends me a text saying he's outside. I sign his credit card receipt for him. Walking to the car, he's walking way ahead, on his phone. I ask him if something is wrong, he says no, calls me immature for "getting mad about silly s--t". Get in the car and dude is having a whole Bumble conversation on his phone. Now he's driving crazy, driving on the wrong side of the road trying to rush to take me home. I ask why he didn't just cancel, he said he didn't want to cancel. I was/am so confused. I ended up sending him that long text I typed up earlier that afternoon and he responded that we didn't see eye to eye on some things but he still likes me but I disrespected him :huh:

I feel myself slipping back into my dating hiatus. I can't do this
 
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gimbap said:
Long story [kinda] short:

He wanted Saturday to be our first date (fancy movie theater that serves food), but I insisted on meeting up at Starbucks earlier in the week. Everything went fine, perfect gentleman. Thursday he asked if he could come over, I said no. He got upset and blew up on me. Didn't really get back on speaking terms until Saturday morning and even then it wasn't the same. I thought about cancelling and even typed up this long text explaining that his reactions when I don't answer his questions/do what he wants is unsettling and that I'm not interested in pursuing anything with him anymore, but I decided to just go and see if things would be different.

He picked me up, we were talking like normal, movie went fine, end of the movie he goes to the bathroom and never comes back. Sends me a text saying he's outside. I sign his credit card receipt for him. Walking to the car, he's walking way ahead, on his phone. I ask him if something is wrong, he says no, calls me immature for "getting mad about silly s--t". Get in the car and dude is having a whole Bumble conversation on his phone. Now he's driving crazy, driving on the wrong side of the road trying to rush to take me home. I ask why he didn't just cancel, he said he didn't want to cancel. I was/am so confused. I ended up sending him that long text I typed up earlier that afternoon and he responded that we didn't see eye to eye on some things but he still likes me but I disrespected him :huh:

I feel myself slipping back into my dating hiatus. I can't do this
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I think you handled the situation very well. Men like him are immature, insecure and really just not worth the time. Glad you figured it out much sooner than later.
 
Y'all this circular dating is getting me in trouble. I called #1 the wrong name last night! :thud:I thought I played it off pretty good but he said something this morning that made me think maybe not. :oops:

I know y'all gonna ask so let me just tell the story. Last night I had a mini nightmare. You know the kind that you have when sleep is creeping up on you but you aren't quite deep in sleep yet? Yeah, so anyway in the dream there was a guy attacking me and #1 was beside me but he was frozen in place - almost like paralyzed.I was calling his name in the dream trying to get him to move and when I snapped out of it I called out to him but called another guy's name! How the heck did that happen?! I feel kind of bad and also a little embarrassed :cry3:

This morning he was like the names are similar so I can see you slipping up and rolled his eyes :oops::oops::oops:
 
@gimbap
Don’t let this one very weird man have you going back into your dating hiatus. As you said, you have good instincts. The gift of dating this guy was that you got further confirmation of this. Next time you will trust yourself and send that text and KIM. You will save yourself some heartache next time. This was a dangerous and controlling man. Be careful and trust yourself. All men aren’t like him. Keep going and keep moving forward. You deserve to date and have fun :kiss:. I’m sorry you had to deal with this jerk.
 
Went to a game night yesterday and had a good time. The guys were all so beautiful, interesting and intelligent.

I found out one of them just lost his virginity last year. We’re in our 30’s y’all. I’ve know him for a couple years now and never would have guessed that. We had a little dialogue about sexuality and spirituality. It was refreshing af.

It was a good reminder not to let these bums out here make me think there are no good men left. They are out there and plentiful.

Oh...I don’t know if y’all remember crush bae. He showed up last night and I was a little surprised. He seemed to know I was going to be there. Apparently, him and his lil model gf broke up. So sad. He texted me last night to tell me it was nice seeing me again.

I was shocked that he still had my number.
 
So.....pool party and I are done.

I’ve been feeling very introspective & a lil sorry for myself these past 2 weeks because I was falling for his uglass :drunk: , this is the 3rd summer in a row that I’ve been exclusive with someone only to have it fizzle out a month or so later.


So with that being said.......I’m heauxing next summer :look: tired of my time being wasted.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
So.....pool party and I are done.

I’ve been feeling very introspective & a lil sorry for myself these past 2 weeks because I was falling for his uglass :drunk: , this is the 3rd summer in a row that I’ve been exclusive with someone only to have it fizzle out a month or so later.


So with that being said.......I’m heauxing next summer :look: tired of my time being wasted.
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Aww...don't assume you will still be single next summer. You never know.
Unless of course being single is what you want.
 
gimbap said:
Long story [kinda] short:

He wanted Saturday to be our first date (fancy movie theater that serves food), but I insisted on meeting up at Starbucks earlier in the week. Everything went fine, perfect gentleman. Thursday he asked if he could come over, I said no. He got upset and blew up on me. Didn't really get back on speaking terms until Saturday morning and even then it wasn't the same. I thought about cancelling and even typed up this long text explaining that his reactions when I don't answer his questions/do what he wants is unsettling and that I'm not interested in pursuing anything with him anymore, but I decided to just go and see if things would be different.

He picked me up, we were talking like normal, movie went fine, end of the movie he goes to the bathroom and never comes back. Sends me a text saying he's outside. I sign his credit card receipt for him. Walking to the car, he's walking way ahead, on his phone. I ask him if something is wrong, he says no, calls me immature for "getting mad about silly s--t". Get in the car and dude is having a whole Bumble conversation on his phone. Now he's driving crazy, driving on the wrong side of the road trying to rush to take me home. I ask why he didn't just cancel, he said he didn't want to cancel. I was/am so confused. I ended up sending him that long text I typed up earlier that afternoon and he responded that we didn't see eye to eye on some things but he still likes me but I disrespected him :huh:

I feel myself slipping back into my dating hiatus. I can't do this
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Tell me why dude texted me yesterday trying to apologize. If he don't get...
 
gimbap said:
So far my instincts have been right. The guys who come on too strong too soon and claim to be soooo sweet end up being the worst ones.

I write this as I’m in his car and as soon as I get dropped off I’m blocking his number
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I'm going to agree with this. The coworker I posted about previously (that done had about 16 bfs since I started working here) just broke up with her boyfriend and he started off like that. She claims they only had sex once because it was so bad. Then she confessed to paying for all the dates they went on. He would write her poems and make cute drawings but would never actually be nice to her. I told her he was being passive aggressive but she didn't listen. She now has a new boyfriend :lol: I really wish she would stop calling them boyfriends.
 
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