*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

RoseofLily said:
For those who are still using dating apps.Which one is you giving more response and hope?
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I've signed up to match.com, it's quite decent on there, the men are noticeably more serious.

Ugh I was talking to a guy on POF and he wrote the, "who are you talking to" message a couple of times, then he did it again this morning. I responded with, "Good morning, I was just looking at some messages, is that okay," this is his response:-

"No it's not okay"
"As I would prefer if you don't chat to other men on here from now on"
"Send me your number so you can come off this site."

I have no words! You're not my man but you think you think you've got some kind of claim on me?

I can't...
 
LushLox said:
I've signed up to match.com, it's quite decent on there, the men are noticeably more serious.

Ugh I was talking to a guy on POF and he wrote the, "who are you talking to" message a couple of times, then he did it again this morning. I responded with, "Good morning, I was just looking at some messages, is that okay," this is his response:-

"No it's not okay"
"As I would prefer if you don't chat to other men on here from now on"
"Send me your number so you can come off this site."

I have no words! You're not my man but you think you think you've got some kind of claim on me?

I can't...
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Men who don't want you talking to other men are the worst. And most times they are talking to half the damn globe but expect you to only be entertaining them. Please. Girl, do you! He will be alright.

This is just a man not wanting to actually step up and be a man and realize he has to bring his A game and compete with other men for you, your time and your affections.

I remember one time several years ago there was a guy on FB that had inboxed me since we were in a group together. He said he liked my pics that I had posted and asked me to send him some. I told him he could see the pics on my profile and this dude gonna say, "nah, I want special pics."

I said, "sorry, special pics are for special people and you aren't special. I barely know you." That was the last time we spoke. Must have been something I said. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

Everyone wants exclusivity but don't want to work for it. :censored: outta here with that.
 
shortycocoa said:
Men who don't want you talking to other men are the worst. And most times they are talking to half the damn globe but expect you to only be entertaining them. Please. Girl, do you! He will be alright.

This is just a man not wanting to actually step up and be a man and realize he has to bring his A game and compete with other men for you, your time and your affections.

I remember one time several years ago there was a guy on FB that had inboxed me since we were in a group together. He said he liked my pics that I had posted and asked me to send him some. I told him he could see the pics on my profile and this dude gonna say, "nah, I want special pics."

I said, "sorry, special pics are for special people and you aren't special. I barely know you." That was the last time we spoke. Must have been something I said. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

Everyone wants exclusivity but don't want to work for it. :censored: outta here with that.
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:lol::rofl:

What is it with men and wanting more pics. I have plenty of pics on my profile, but some need more. I just keep it moving when I start hearing all that.
 
Pretty sure I've now officially seen it all on dating sites. Firstly, I just notice that OKC has a new section in the sidebar labelled "Seeing [Link to another profile]". I was a little surprised so clicked into it and sure enough, the profiles are linked (i.e - these two people are in a relationship). But ok, I get it. Some people are poly and looking for more partners. I read further on this profile and see:

"We are specifically interested in someone who would like to collaborate on an intimate film in terms of handling the videography element."

:confused: :lol:

Folks scouting for sex film camera crew on OKC now.
 
This might be over before it begins y'all. Me and #1 got into a huge fight last night and neither of us know what about. I left his place, called a friend of mine who lives close by (who just broke up with his gf) and we went to a dive bar and drank until we couldn't see straight. Supposed to talk to #1 this morning and I'm afraid of what I might say.
 
LdyKamz said:
This might be over before it begins y'all. Me and #1 got into a huge fight last night and neither of us know what about. I left his place, called a friend of mine who lives close by (who just broke up with his gf) and we went to a dive bar and drank until we couldn't see straight. Supposed to talk to #1 this morning and I'm afraid of what I might say.
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WHAT?! oh no!
 
LushLox said:
I've signed up to match.com, it's quite decent on there, the men are noticeably more serious.

Ugh I was talking to a guy on POF and he wrote the, "who are you talking to" message a couple of times, then he did it again this morning. I responded with, "Good morning, I was just looking at some messages, is that okay," this is his response:-

"No it's not okay"
"As I would prefer if you don't chat to other men on here from now on"
"Send me your number so you can come off this site."

I have no words! You're not my man but you think you think you've got some kind of claim on me?

I can't...
Click to expand...

F him. Tell him "good luck in your search," delete his a$$, and block him. Or skip the niceties and just delete/block.

The gall of him to fix his fingers to type all that. My blood is boiling right now. :angry2: Ugh.....

Who does he think he is? He don't owe you a dang thing.
 
Welp the conversation with #1 didn't go well :( He is focused on the wrong thing imo. The first thing he wanted to ask was "so when you left me last night you didn't go straight home?" and when I said no "You stayed in the neighborhood. So you have a friend who lives in my neighborhood?" I have no clue why that bothered him but then he was upset about that so then we basically continued the argument from last night. I'm sorry y'all but I was like "I don't think I can do this" and he asked what does that mean. I told him I feel a lot of pressure right now and he said he felt the same. We didn't talk long and he was like he really wanted to see me soon so we could talk more. When I got off the phone I just sat there for a minute confused. So I sat really still and just tried to tune into myself and ask myself what I needed, what I thought would make me feel better right now. After doing that I told him that I think we should take a step back for the time being. This is still very new and how we managed our first real conflict was always going to be an indicator for me of the potential of the relationship. And the signs are pointing to lots of long frustrating conversations with no resolution. I don't want that so I think I want to bow out. Maybe my friend last night was right and I have commitment issues.
 
LushLox said:
:lol::rofl:

What is it with men and wanting more pics. I have plenty of pics on my profile, but some need more. I just keep it moving when I start hearing all that.
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Right! They are mad annoying with that. And then it's always those ones that NEVER reciprocate, or if they do it's always just one pic. Maybe two. All poor quality or old. And then they act like sending you those 2 measly pics took everything out of them and you should be grateful. And you bet not fix your face to ask them for any more.

Meanwhile they could start a catalog with all the pics they be asking for. *sucks teeth and rolls eyes* Nah. :lachen:

And another thing.... I hate a old "send me a pic" dude. Like that's the first thing they lead with in conversation. That's rude af. But I got something for them. I'm going to start asking them to send me a bank statement. :lachen:
 
LdyKamz said:
Welp the conversation with #1 didn't go well :( He is focused on the wrong thing imo. The first thing he wanted to ask was "so when you left me last night you didn't go straight home?" and when I said no "You stayed in the neighborhood. So you have a friend who lives in my neighborhood?" I have no clue why that bothered him but then he was upset about that so then we basically continued the argument from last night. I'm sorry y'all but I was like "I don't think I can do this" and he asked what does that mean. I told him I feel a lot of pressure right now and he said he felt the same. We didn't talk long and he was like he really wanted to see me soon so we could talk more. When I got off the phone I just sat there for a minute confused. So I sat really still and just tried to tune into myself and ask myself what I needed, what I thought would make me feel better right now. After doing that I told him that I think we should take a step back for the time being. This is still very new and how we managed our first real conflict was always going to be an indicator for me of the potential of the relationship. And the signs are pointing to lots of long frustrating conversations with no resolution. I don't want that so I think I want to bow out. Maybe my friend last night was right and I have commitment issues.
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Is he a Pisces? All of this sounds very passive-aggressive and undominant. Listen to your gut. You're absolutely right; the first argument is very critical and will tell you a lot about him, as well as how you both handle conflict. Most people don't know how to fight fairly or effectively in a relationship, and he sounds like he falls in that category.

It's emotionally draining to be with someone like that because they constantly waste your time talking about things that have nothing to do with a resolution, or when the resolution is plain as day they refuse to see it and want to keep "discussing the problem." They never admit that the real problem is xyz (e.g. their feelings are hurt, etc.) and you will continue arguing about the same issues with no end in sight and without even getting to the root of what the problem actually is/was.

Also, based on what you've shared, I don't think you should meet him alone to talk. If you decide to go, make sure it's in a public place with a good amount of foot traffic. Set a time limit on the conversation (preface that before you even start talking about everything) and if you see it heading into the direction of no resolve, excuse yourself and tell him you have to leave.

Why do you think you have commitment issues?
 
Just received a wrong number text with a photo from a handsome brotha. He was saying hi to a girl that isn’t me. I texted back letting him know he has the wrong number but great photo. He apologized and said he’s just following directions but apparently the wrong ones. Not sure what that means. For some reason he assumes I’m a dude lol. Trying to decide if I’m bored enough to engage this any further.
 
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TrulyBlessed said:
Just received a wrong number text with a photo from a handsome brotha. He was saying hi to a girl that isn’t me. I texted back letting him know he has the wrong number but great photo. He apologized and said he’s just following directions but apparently the wrong ones. Not sure what that means. For some reason he assumes I’m a dude lol. Trying to decide if I’m bored enough to engage this any further.
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*as Evil Kermit* DO IT!!!! :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

I did this once in college. Senior year...my mom had just given me her cell phone because she got another one and didn't want to close her account and didn't want me that far away with a tracfone. (this was early 2000's, don't judge me...LOL.)

Anyway, the guy called the phone and I forgot who he asked for, but I responded, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you have the wrong number."

He was like, "well damn, who is this???" :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

We had a brief convo, then he asked if he could keep in touch and call me again. I said sure....after that we talked almost every day and then he asked me out. It was one of the best dates I ever had. Still think about it and him every now and then.
 
Well...He responded with a good morning text and thanked me for complimenting his photo yesterday. So I replied then he asked how my day is going and if I have any kids heading back to school tomorrow. I replied that I don’t then asked about him. He said he has 2 kids heading back and he’s excited. And this is where I hop off the fairy tale train express.
 
TrulyBlessed said:
Well...He responded with a good morning text and thanked me for complimenting his photo yesterday. So I replied then he asked how my day is going and if I have any kids heading back to school tomorrow. I replied that I don’t then asked about him. He said he has 2 kids heading back and he’s excited. And this is where I hop off the fairy tale train express.
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Awwwww man! Not even friends??? You drive a hard bargain, woman! :lachen:
 
So I saw #1 and he wanted to pretend like nothing happened asking if I wanted to go see a movie. I was like o_O so what about our talk? So we talked a little and I reiterated my stance. That we should take a step back and chill for a bit. He said he was confused because he assumed when I said that it meant just a bit of breathing space...for the day! Again o_O. And then he tried to get out of having the conversation by saying his anxiety was getting bad. :rolleyes:o_O:rolleyes:When he did that I calmly said I feel like he's done a switcheroo on me because where he was once communicative he is suddenly avoidant and full of excuses and I don't like it. I told him I honestly don't understand it but I'm not really interested in wasting a lot of brain power figuring it out. That's for him to do not me.

This was yesterday. I left him feeling a little down but not terribly so. And I was proud of myself that I stood my ground instead of trying to salvage what little connection we managed to build these past few months. I'm not writing him off completely but I'm realizing it's ok to not pull the plug completely but go back a few steps when my spidey senses start tingling.

We sent a couple of short texts back and forth today. He borrowed a book of mine and he wanted to tell me he started reading it. I told him I watched a few more episodes of a show he got me hooked on. He was a little sad about that and even more sad when I told him he could send me a text when he was finished with the book and I would swing by and pick it up. He said it's like I plan on never seeing him again. It's not like that but I gotta do what's right for me. And he's making me want to back up a little. So either he fixes what needs to be fixed so we can carry on or we can just move on from this with no hard feelings. It's important that we both get our needs met and I'm not going to be tricked out of mine by being told it's too early in the relationship or my anxiety is getting worse or some other blah blah blah BS because he doesn't want to deal.
 
LdyKamz said:
So I saw #1 and he wanted to pretend like nothing happened asking if I wanted to go see a movie. I was like o_O so what about our talk? So we talked a little and I reiterated my stance. That we should take a step back and chill for a bit. He said he was confused because he assumed when I said that it meant just a bit of breathing space...for the day! Again o_O. And then he tried to get out of having the conversation by saying his anxiety was getting bad. :rolleyes:o_O:rolleyes:When he did that I calmly said I feel like he's done a switcheroo on me because where he was once communicative he is suddenly avoidant and full of excuses and I don't like it. I told him I honestly don't understand it but I'm not really interested in wasting a lot of brain power figuring it out. That's for him to do not me.

This was yesterday. I left him feeling a little down but not terribly so. And I was proud of myself that I stood my ground instead of trying to salvage what little connection we managed to build these past few months. I'm not writing him off completely but I'm realizing it's ok to not pull the plug completely but go back a few steps when my spidey senses start tingling.

We sent a couple of short texts back and forth today. He borrowed a book of mine and he wanted to tell me he started reading it. I told him I watched a few more episodes of a show he got me hooked on. He was a little sad about that and even more sad when I told him he could send me a text when he was finished with the book and I would swing by and pick it up. He said it's like I plan on never seeing him again. It's not like that but I gotta do what's right for me. And he's making me want to back up a little. So either he fixes what needs to be fixed so we can carry on or we can just move on from this with no hard feelings. It's important that we both get our needs met and I'm not going to be tricked out of mine by being told it's too early in the relationship or my anxiety is getting worse or some other blah blah blah BS because he doesn't want to deal.
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Whoa. There's a lot of red flags here. You didn't answer my previous question about whether this guy is a Pisces or not but he is sounding more and more like one with this post.

I'm glad you were able to be firm with him, but I also think you're sending him mixed signals.

If you have a rotation, why are you keeping him around if there's this many issues that are giving you pause? He might not fix the problems and you're going to end up resenting him.
 
shortycocoa said:
I feel you on that. I've thought about dating asexual people and being celibate for a while now.
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My thing is, sex makes things complicated sometimes. If you can date someone, and genuinely like their company without being intimate, it’ll make it easier to separate who is actually into you for you, and who just wants to crack you.

I don’t know if this makes any sense, but yeah lol
 
shortycocoa said:
Whoa. There's a lot of red flags here. You didn't answer my previous question about whether this guy is a Pisces or not but he is sounding more and more like one with this post.

I'm glad you were able to be firm with him, but I also think you're sending him mixed signals.

If you have a rotation, why are you keeping him around if there's this many issues that are giving you pause? He might not fix the problems and you're going to end up resenting him.
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Idk his birthday is in April. Signs aren't really my thing - I only know my sign.

And I don't think I am sending him mixed signals. I am very clear in that "I like you but I have a problem with xyz. Fix it and we will see what happens" What's mixed about that? He knows what's going on and if he wants to pretend he doesn't hoping that I will just let things slide he's wrong and that's a conscious decision he's making.

To me this is A issue that has given me pause. His sudden lack of communication -which was A1 before. And as I learn and grow I have learned how to express my disatisfaction with a particular situation and see if I get my desired outcome instead of avoiding and refusing to deal with conflict. If not, then I can walk away. Resentment is not on the menu because I make the decisions that affect me and wherever I end up will be because of the decision I made to either walk away or stay not him.

I also think I have done well, after learning more about myself, walking away from things that don't serve me. We shall see what happens with this one.
 
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LdyKamz said:
So I saw #1 and he wanted to pretend like nothing happened asking if I wanted to go see a movie. I was like o_O so what about our talk? So we talked a little and I reiterated my stance. That we should take a step back and chill for a bit. He said he was confused because he assumed when I said that it meant just a bit of breathing space...for the day! Again o_O. And then he tried to get out of having the conversation by saying his anxiety was getting bad. :rolleyes:o_O:rolleyes:When he did that I calmly said I feel like he's done a switcheroo on me because where he was once communicative he is suddenly avoidant and full of excuses and I don't like it. I told him I honestly don't understand it but I'm not really interested in wasting a lot of brain power figuring it out. That's for him to do not me.

This was yesterday. I left him feeling a little down but not terribly so. And I was proud of myself that I stood my ground instead of trying to salvage what little connection we managed to build these past few months. I'm not writing him off completely but I'm realizing it's ok to not pull the plug completely but go back a few steps when my spidey senses start tingling.

We sent a couple of short texts back and forth today. He borrowed a book of mine and he wanted to tell me he started reading it. I told him I watched a few more episodes of a show he got me hooked on. He was a little sad about that and even more sad when I told him he could send me a text when he was finished with the book and I would swing by and pick it up. He said it's like I plan on never seeing him again. It's not like that but I gotta do what's right for me. And he's making me want to back up a little. So either he fixes what needs to be fixed so we can carry on or we can just move on from this with no hard feelings. It's important that we both get our needs met and I'm not going to be tricked out of mine by being told it's too early in the relationship or my anxiety is getting worse or some other blah blah blah BS because he doesn't want to deal.
Click to expand...
What was the argument about- if you don’t mind sharing? Maybe I missed it- I apologize.
 
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