*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I exchanged numbers with a guy from online (not a dating site, not something I would usually do). We've been texting back and for for an entire month, I realize now looking at the history. Kinda of wondering what happens next. I wasn't looking to meet anyone, am nervous about meeting people online (I've done Tinder, OKC and POF before, NEVER again), and he's not the type of guy I would usually go for. But he's also not the type I would generally get to meet in my life/work environment.

He hinted at meeting to see a concert earlier this week, and I shot it down like it was target practice. Maybe if he gets a little more persistent and reveals specific intentions, I'll bite, but as of now it's just someone who is super nice and fun to talk to.
 
I hung out with my little friend today and he was teasing me about my gif usage and pulled up our text thread to try and prove his point and I saw he had my name saved as “UniquelyDivine:heart3:”.

We’ve been talking for about 5 weeks after he approached me at a Memorial Day pool party and I know he really likes me so it didn’t bother me, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had him saved under “Pool Party Dude”.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I hung out with my little friend today and he was teasing me about my gif usage and pulled up our text thread to try and prove his point and I saw he had my name saved as “UniquelyDivine:heart3:”.

We’ve been talking for about 5 weeks after he approached me at a Memorial Day pool party and I know he really likes me so it didn’t bother me, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had him saved under “Pool Party Dude”.
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:lachen:5 weeks later and still "pool party dude"? Savage!!! :lol:
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I felt bad after I saw my name in his phone :giggle: But I’m a firm believer in the fact that they start acting up as SOON as you give them a real name in your contacts.

We can get married, have 3-4 kids, a poodle, and a betta fish and I still might have his name saved as “Pool party Dude” :laugh:
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:lachen::lachen::lachen:
giphy.gif
 
Pool party dude is a reformed hood dude which I kind of like and I can tell he tries to come up with things that will appeal to me; I told him I was going to get my hair silk pressed today and he asked if it would mess my hair up to go for a bike ride around the lake and a picnic.

So precious and thoughtful :blush:

Maybe I'll erase "Pool party dude" and just type in the first letter of his name, he can earn the next letter the next time he does something else deserving :giggle:
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Pool party dude is a reformed hood dude which I kind of like and I can tell he tries to come up with things that will appeal to me; I told him I was going to get my hair silk pressed today and he asked if it would mess my hair up to go for a bike ride around the lake and a picnic.

So precious and thoughtful :blush:

Maybe I'll erase "Pool party dude" and just type in the first letter of his name, he can earn the next letter the next time he does something else deserving :giggle:
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:giggle: That’s what I do! It only gets confusing if they have the same first initial. Reminds me I need to add a heart to baes name:grin:
 
I kinda want to look cute and go out but on the other hand I'm so cozy on this couch...I'm making zero effort towards dating. I have to do better

On another note, my ex boyfriend turned friend will be in town soon and I can't wait. He's does my body right each and every time. Plus he's fun to hang out with
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I felt bad after I saw my name in his phone :giggle: But I’m a firm believer in the fact that they start acting up as SOON as you give them a real name in your contacts.

We can get married, have 3-4 kids, a poodle, and a betta fish and I still might have his name saved as “Pool party Dude” :laugh:
Click to expand...

YOU ARE NOT LYING. There should be a study on this, a scientific thesis of sorts as 10/10 times I've added a contact name I ended up deleting/blocking said name within the next 48 hours smh
 
Date with #1 went well tonight but idk. I was looking forward to this all week and then suddenly for no reason at all I just felt kind of blah. I went anyway and we had a nice time but...idk. Something was off tonight. When we parted he asked me what my schedule was like next week and he would love to do something in my neighborhood if I want to show him around. I mean he's doing everything right. Decent, communicative, polite, stays in touch, plans dates, etc. This is what we want right? So why all of a sudden am I feeling cool on him? It's not my period. It just ended.
 
gimbap said:
I stopped saving dudes' names in my phone after iPhone started suggesting names to me when they text AFTER I deleted them out of my phone and my life. Talmbout "Maybe: Steven":rolleyes: I didn't ask you! I know who it is!
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I HATE that :laugh: I also hate how some of these social media platforms never fully delete contacts, I can’t stand having to see my ex’s uglass face pop up in my suggested follows on IG and Facebook.

Can I live!?!?!

tenor.gif






Side note: Went out with pool party bae again and he’s so cute/annoying :laugh: We are born under the same sign so we stay fussing then two seconds later we’re friends again :spinning:

My ex fiancé was also a Leo so it makes me leery but looking back the only issue we really had was the fact that he was a lying, no good, cheater; other than that we had the best time together, so I guess I won’t hold that against pool float.
 
Went out with another guy tonight and he was wack. Not interested. I actually unmatched him on the app when he went to the bathroom :lachen: and as soon as I got home he texted me asking me why? I was just like it was fun but I'm unavailable for dating. Good luck. He responded with a "?" like my statement required further explanation. It did not so I didn't answer.
 
LdyKamz said:
Went out with another guy tonight and he was wack. Not interested. I actually unmatched him on the app when he went to the bathroom :lachen: and as soon as I got home he texted me asking me why? I was just like it was fun but I'm unavailable for dating. Good luck. He responded with a "?" like my statement required further explanation. It did not so I didn't answer.
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Somebody post the cold blooded gif cause Kam ain’t playing here.
 
I realized what it was that was bothering me about #1. Since we've only been on a handful of dates I don't feel the need to have a deep conversation about it. Instead I'm going to sit back and watch and see how he manages this. Funny though he actually brought it up randomly yesterday in a text saying it was a bad habit of his and he's working on it. We'll see. We're going out again tomorrow night - 5th date. I have to say I'm enjoying the pace. I see and talk to him enough so he's still present but things are spaced out enough that I don't feel like things are moving too fast. It feels fun and exciting but not heady or intoxicating.

In other news I have a happy hour date on Thursday evening. I wasn't trying to have no more dates this week but when this guy asked I took the opportunity to go to this place because the happy hour is so good. I love it! Let's see what he's about.
 
I went on an adventure with friend “bae” today.

We started at noon in Harlem then head to bk for a flea market thing and brunch. We took the ferry to the promenade and ate ice cream and laid in the grass.

Took the train back to manhattan went to an art exhibit then got wine and just sat and talked in Central Park.


We ran into a mutual friend which happens often and is always kind of weird for me.

At this point I’m pretty sure I don’t want/need a future with him. Being with him is almost as comfortable as being alone. It’s easy, fun and no pressure. I’m ready to ease into a strictly platonic situation with him and I know it’s doable and necessary.



All in all, today was a perfect day.
 
Soooo im a little in my feelings right now. Two white girls at my job just got engaged days from each other. They are both around early 30s. What makes it funny is both of these women started dating these men within the last 2 years Ive been single and chasing after an unavailable man

White girl #1 was single like me at one point. I remember her coming in the office talking about her bad dates. She must have met her now fiance around the same time I met my commitment phobe man in 2016. I stupidly dated him for a year and ended it. Fast forward another year later and she is engaged to her dude.

White girl #2 transferred to our nyc office from california. She has only been in nyc for 2 years. I know for a fact she didnt have a man when she got here. She just announced her engagement to a guy today.

Im not hating at all and not coming from a place of why them and not me. Its really more of a "putting things in perspective" and more motivation to go back out there and really apply what Ive learned. Ladies if commitment and marriage is what u want....leave these commitment phobes and F boys alone.
 
A few weeks ago I met a guy while I was out with a friend. He was on a bike, which I instantly disliked, but he was nice looking and I'm hyper aware that my friends think my standards are crazy high so I gave him my number. He called several times and did several things I didn't like: Said "hey" like I knew who he was without introducing himself (every single time he called) and he recently called to ask me on a date...to the park... and we could pick up drinks along the way and walk. I told him I required a real date, sit down with drinks etc. He agreed and we postponed because I had to go out of town.


Fast forward to today. We planned to meet up. I was coming directly from an interview so I was wearing jeans (they wear jeans there) and a long sleeved blouse, and carrying my bag with my laptop, change of shoes, etc. It's also 95 degrees and I'm wearing a wig, and I'm prone to sweating. We meet and start walking towards, passing several cute bars along the way. I finally ask where we are going and he responds " I told you we were going to the park."

Bruh. I refused that date weeks ago, but he thought he could get around it by taking me to...wait for it... a different park with a walkup bar. He showed up with his bike and didn't even offer to take my bag, which had all my heavy laptop and folio in it since I was just coming for an interview. He also didn't call a car or uber, just expected us to walk blocks to the park. I asked what was with him and parks and he responded "What's with you and NOT parks?" Sir. Bye.I was so instantly irritated, I turned on a dime and left. No time for 48+ year old men who don't listen and look for ways around doing what I've asked them to do.

That's the second time he has responded to something I've asked him like that. He's inflexible and comes with zero old man benefits, so I'm actively practicing that when people show you who they are believe them mantra. And he should believe me too. I would go to a park with my actual man or my friends. It's not a first date place and we passed like a hundred nice bars on the way. Pass.
 
Miss_C said:
A few weeks ago I met a guy while I was out with a friend. He was on a bike, which I instantly disliked, but he was nice looking and I'm hyper aware that my friends think my standards are crazy high so I gave him my number. He called several times and did several things I didn't like: Said "hey" like I knew who he was without introducing himself (every single time he called) and he recently called to ask me on a date...to the park... and we could pick up drinks along the way and walk. I told him I required a real date, sit down with drinks etc. He agreed and we postponed because I had to go out of town.


Fast forward to today. We planned to meet up. I was coming directly from an interview so I was wearing jeans (they wear jeans there) and a long sleeved blouse, and carrying my bag with my laptop, change of shoes, etc. It's also 95 degrees and I'm wearing a wig, and I'm prone to sweating. We meet and start walking towards, passing several cute bars along the way. I finally ask where we are going and he responds " I told you we were going to the park."

Bruh. I refused that date weeks ago, but he thought he could get around it by taking me to...wait for it... a different park with a walkup bar. He showed up with his bike and didn't even offer to take my bag, which had all my heavy laptop and folio in it since I was just coming for an interview. He also didn't call a car or uber, just expected us to walk blocks to the park. I asked what was with him and parks and he responded "What's with you and NOT parks?" Sir. Bye.I was so instantly irritated, I turned on a dime and left. No time for 48+ year old men who don't listen and look for ways around doing what I've asked them to do.

That's the second time he has responded to something I've asked him like that. He's inflexible and comes with zero old man benefits, so I'm actively practicing that when people show you who they are believe them mantra. And he should believe me too. I would go to a park with my actual man or my friends. It's not a first date place and we passed like a hundred nice bars on the way. Pass.
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Girl no way! :lachen: I’m laughing because I told this guy what type of things I would like to do, and he said I ruined him making plans and that I was trying to be in control. This is why I’m not trying to be out here right now. These “grown” men are really getting beside themselves. Then another fool told me I could get on his bike. I’m not riding on the back of anybody’s anything!
 
I really don't mind being single. I start to feel so bad when these men are interested in me and I can't even entertain them with conversation because I already know I will never care about them. I don't play games with people, my self esteem is high enough to have no need to, but then I come off as a super ice queen. I just wish men would be alright with being friends with me and not always want to make a running leap out of the friend zone.

Not completely related but somewhat related, a couple of weeks ago I reached out to my ex for casual conversation. I was just bored. Then when the conversation ended (yes, he was just as boring and stupid as he was 2 years ago) he followed up with a 'wanna meet up someday' message. I took one second to picture looking at his dumb face across a table while drinking myself into enough of a stupor to find him attractive or interesting, and then just didn't reply.

Some guy that I had an affair I'm not very proud of at my last job ended up getting employed at this job (karma, I've been good, why you do dis?) We had a bad fight two years ago (magic number, he helped me and my ex break up, more on that later) and I blocked his number. So now that that smoke had cleared :look:, he hit me up on CORPORATE EMAIL to see how I was doing. I was still a little salty and made it obvious, so he laid on some of the thickest b.s I've ever seen in my life. I was tempted to believe what he said is the sad part, but I know him, he wants something, he's good with words, and I'm not falling for that trap again.

My text pen-pal is about to get blocked because I'm sick of feeling obligated to respond to him. He's super nice, but he's that type of nice that starts to seem autistic after awhile.

Maybe I'm just cold because I'm PMSing. Hopefully this period passes (no pun intended) and I'm back to being able to care about people again. That doesn't mean I'll want a relationship (ever :look:) but at least I'll be nice to people. :lol:
 
Dposh167 said:
Soooo im a little in my feelings right now. Two white girls at my job just got engaged days from each other. They are both around early 30s. What makes it funny is both of these women started dating these men within the last 2 years Ive been single and chasing after an unavailable man

White girl #1 was single like me at one point. I remember her coming in the office talking about her bad dates. She must have met her now fiance around the same time I met my commitment phobe man in 2016. I stupidly dated him for a year and ended it. Fast forward another year later and she is engaged to her dude.

White girl #2 transferred to our nyc office from california. She has only been in nyc for 2 years. I know for a fact she didnt have a man when she got here. She just announced her engagement to a guy today.

Im not hating at all and not coming from a place of why them and not me. Its really more of a "putting things in perspective" and more motivation to go back out there and really apply what Ive learned. Ladies if commitment and marriage is what u want....leave these commitment phobes and F boys alone.
Click to expand...


Man this is so true. Several white and Asian girls I went to grad school had boyfriends when they entered and now they have different boyfriends that they met while in our program. It was only a 2 year program and in every case the guy is an upgrade. One girl had a guy 20+ years older with grown kids who was fronting the bills for her life and now she's dating a cute investment banker. Another one just got engaged to her boo after meeting last year.

Sighs... to be a white woman lol. Black women need to be real with themselves and crystal clear when it comes to getting what we want.
 
sunflora said:
I really don't mind being single. I start to feel so bad when these men are interested in me and I can't even entertain them with conversation because I already know I will never care about them. I don't play games with people, my self esteem is high enough to have no need to, but then I come off as a super ice queen. I just wish men would be alright with being friends with me and not always want to make a running leap out of the friend zone.

Not completely related but somewhat related, a couple of weeks ago I reached out to my ex for casual conversation. I was just bored. Then when the conversation ended (yes, he was just as boring and stupid as he was 2 years ago) he followed up with a 'wanna meet up someday' message. I took one second to picture looking at his dumb face across a table while drinking myself into enough of a stupor to find him attractive or interesting, and then just didn't reply.

Some guy that I had an affair I'm not very proud of at my last job ended up getting employed at this job (karma, I've been good, why you do dis?) We had a bad fight two years ago (magic number, he helped me and my ex break up, more on that later) and I blocked his number. So now that that smoke had cleared :look:, he hit me up on CORPORATE EMAIL to see how I was doing. I was still a little salty and made it obvious, so he laid on some of the thickest b.s I've ever seen in my life. I was tempted to believe what he said is the sad part, but I know him, he wants something, he's good with words, and I'm not falling for that trap again.

My text pen-pal is about to get blocked because I'm sick of feeling obligated to respond to him. He's super nice, but he's that type of nice that starts to seem autistic after awhile.

Maybe I'm just cold because I'm PMSing. Hopefully this period passes (no pun intended) and I'm back to being able to care about people again. That doesn't mean I'll want a relationship (ever :look:) but at least I'll be nice to people. :lol:
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I’ve been here! It’ll pass :laugh: In the meantime enjoy your peace and quiet!

I think it’s healthy to be in this mindset to be honest, you’re focused on you and what you want and not a man or wanting to be in a relationship just for the hell of it.
 
I spent the entire weekend with pool party bae and we had so much fun together, he’s so darn corny and literal but I find it endearing :laugh:

On Sunday the topic of other people came up and he told me he stopped talking to other women because he’s just focused on me then proceeded to show me all the unanswered/ignored texts in his phone.

I told him “Ok, cool”

giphy.gif



I think he was expecting me to say “I’ve been doing that too” so when I didn’t respond in kind he started pouting & said “I thought you liked me and we’ve been vibing” but I explained to him that I don’t cut other people off no matter how much I like someone and if he wants me to himself then he needs to speak up and make his intentions clear, otherwise I’m going to keep behaving as a SINGLE woman.



So......I have a Bf now :laugh:


I sensed it was heading this way so I’m fine with it however; I explained to him that if he’s just doing it to save his ego then don’t bother and he told me it’s not, it’s just that he’s never had to speak up and outright claim a woman before.


I’m still not deleting any of these men out my phone tho :look: you just never know.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I spent the entire weekend with pool party bae and we had so much fun together, he’s so darn corny and literal but I find it endearing :laugh:

On Sunday the topic of other people came up and he told me he stopped talking to other women because he’s just focused on me then proceeded to show me all the unanswered/ignored texts in his phone.

I told him “Ok, cool”

giphy.gif



I think he was expecting me to say “I’ve been doing that too” so when I didn’t respond in kind he started pouting & said “I thought you liked me and we’ve been vibing” but I explained to him that I don’t cut other people off no matter how much I like someone and if he wants me to himself then he needs to speak up and make his intentions clear, otherwise I’m going to keep behaving as a SINGLE woman.



So......I have a Bf now :laugh:


I sensed it was heading this way so I’m fine with it however; I explained to him that if he’s just doing it to save his ego then don’t bother and he told me it’s not, it’s just that he’s never had to speak up and outright claim a woman before.


I’m still not deleting any of these men out my phone tho :look: you just never know.
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Alright now! :clap:
 
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