*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Ipanema said:
China Man from last year has been viewing my profile on social media pretty much every day lately. But he has not contacted me. I'm not sure what to make of that.
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This is apparently a thing. It’s called “orbiting.” I just learned this yesterday from a website newsletter. I laughed out loud since I am experiencing it and wondered what it was about. Don’t make anything of it and/or block him. Men are so weird.
 
RoseofLily said:
I've been doing online dating lately. In the last month I had about four guys ask me for my number. Probably a few days to a week or two, after texting and talking I don't hear from them anymore. Don't know what I'm doing wrong.
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This is what I hate most: this cycle, not being able to move past the beginning stages, starting over and over and nothing leading anywhere. And you probably aren't even doing anything wrong. I think a lot of these guys just like having the option of having so many women available to them and just go thru them, not really taking it as seriously as we [women] do
 
Went out with him yesterday and really had a good time. I felt very comfortable talking to him, which was nice. Let's see if we move on to date #2. (Question: Do you ladies ask a guy about a second date or wait until he initiates? He's texted me since then but no mention of one, but it's only been a day)

I'm not good at juggling guys, esp when I meet one I like. I don't want to date multiple, I want the one I like to get with the program so I can get out the dating game...

eta: nevermind...
 
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Had dinner with MFT yesterday. After a day full of studying, it was refreshing. Plus the Warriors-Rockets game was on and the restaurant we were at had great TVs to watch. It was perfect. There were plenty of people and we started cheering when the Warriors took over but it wasn't as crazy as a sports bar thank goodness. We told each other we missed each other. I was worried our connection maybe was dying out but it's not. We laughed like we always do but also talked serious things too.

He hinted at making us official but we both acknowledged we're in weird places individually. Me with bar prep and him with moving and having to cut back at work to take care of his health. We both are getting restless because it's not enough only seeing each other once a week for a couple hours. Things were crazy with the game on but when we see each other at the end of the week, I'll bring it up.
 
lotusspecter said:
This is apparently a thing. It’s called “orbiting.” I just learned this yesterday from a website newsletter. I laughed out loud since I am experiencing it and wondered what it was about. Don’t make anything of it and/or block him. Men are so weird.
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I googled this to see what it was, and omg. :spinning: Weird. My romantic a$s thought he might be missing me and longing for me. :laugh:
 
RoseofLily said:
I've been doing online dating lately. In the last month I had about four guys ask me for my number. Probably a few days to a week or two, after texting and talking I don't hear from them anymore. Don't know what I'm doing wrong.
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Its very normal. alot of men doing online dating don't want to date. I had a guy text me on and off for 3 weeks without making any effort it plans to meet. I just stopped responding cuz I ainy got the time
 
So I signed back up on OkCupid and I have a date on Sunday. We chatted on the app then we texted and he wanted to meet up tonight - I declined by saying tonight was no good for me. He responded back I am free on Sunday. Kind of far off but whatever. He said late afternoon/early evening. I prefer brunch on Sundays but I agreed. He better hope I don't cancel on him.
 
TCatt86 said:
Its very normal. alot of men doing online dating don't want to date. I had a guy text me on and off for 3 weeks without making any effort it plans to meet. I just stopped responding cuz I ainy got the time
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Yep.

I think online dating is even more of numbers game than meeting guys in real life, that's why I stopped bothering.

Entirely too much trash to sort through.
 
lotusspecter said:
Maybe he is but as long as he’s not saying anything, it’s none of your concern.
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After reading some articles, I think that term "orbiting" sounds so narcissistic. I can't believe that's a thing. Oh, well. I'll choose to believe that he is secretly longing for me everyday since that thought makes me feel nice... His fingers hover over his phone, ready to compose a message, but then he is suddenly gripped with the fear that he is somehow unworthy. His fingers curl up into a fist that he bites with his teeth, and he just stares at the picture of the woman that he let get away... :look: I know I need to stop, lol.
 
MzLady78 said:
Yep.

I think online dating is even more of numbers game than meeting guys in real life, that's why I stopped bothering.

Entirely too much trash to sort through.
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Absolutely and it's exhausting. There's something unnatural about how you connect online because usually you meet someone in person and have had some sort of established chemistry, even if its short, before exchanging info. Plus I hate all the swiping.
 
TCatt86 said:
Its very normal. alot of men doing online dating don't want to date. I had a guy text me on and off for 3 weeks without making any effort it plans to meet. I just stopped responding cuz I ainy got the time
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Right. I remember having to put in my profile "not looking for a texting buddy". Which also gives me flashbacks to when they would ask so what are you up to this weekend or something similar and I would say no plans thinking they would ask me out or plan a date and then...radio silence. And of course that would be followed the next day by the mundane fboi vernacular text of gm or wyd. Lawd my block list is so long. :lol:
 
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RoseofLily said:
I've been doing online dating lately. In the last month I had about four guys ask me for my number. Probably a few days to a week or two, after texting and talking I don't hear from them anymore. Don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Click to expand...

give them your number and then when they text you, let them sit for a day or two days before responding. Responding too soon makes it look like you’re desperate and takes you away from the dating app...which you don’t want to do prematurely.

Also try limiting the amount of texting prior to meeting them f2f. My general rule of thumb and requirement is the first text/convo is brief...then next conversation is about when will we meet. But I will not let more than 2-3 days go by before meeting.

Exchange numbers - don’t text him - when he text - don’t respond for 1 to 2 days - pop back in with a “hey there Champ” - chat - then let him know you want to get eyes on him (to prevent catfishing—state this) within the next few days.

Oh and once you get a steady communication pace with them (after the first meet up or date) — block them in your dating app. This will have them wondering WTF and use the only means they have to reach you. This is called creating a sense of urgency and “demand” without saying.

If I’m really digging a guy after a couple dates, I go and block him. 1) I dont want him monitoring my online status and 2) He needs to know that he’s no longer seen like a random guy and needs to manage the situation as such.
 
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gimbap said:
Went out with him yesterday and really had a good time. I felt very comfortable talking to him, which was nice. Let's see if we move on to date #2. (Question: Do you ladies ask a guy about a second date or wait until he initiates? He's texted me since then but no mention of one, but it's only been a day)

I'm not good at juggling guys, esp when I meet one I like. I don't want to date multiple, I want the one I like to get with the program so I can get out the dating game...
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Don’t mention anything. Let him. Guys respond to ghosting very well...keeps them working.

And yes you shoukd get use to having a few in rotation or keep super busy.
 
Met this guy last year at a charity after party and we had the BEST convo! I was so intrigued by him but came to find out he was only in town for the Labor Day weekend, we kept up with each other here and there but nothing serious.

He hit me up a few weeks ago because he’s moved to Dallas and was talking a good game about stepping up to the plate and taking me out now that he’s living in my city.


However; it’s looking like a case of fake news so he’s about to get blocked, I’m sick of time wasters.

39A07697-E5C9-446D-AE61-EB42366951A7.jpeg
 
LdyKamz said:
So I signed back up on OkCupid and I have a date on Sunday. We chatted on the app then we texted and he wanted to meet up tonight - I declined by saying tonight was no good for me. He responded back I am free on Sunday. Kind of far off but whatever. He said late afternoon/early evening. I prefer brunch on Sundays but I agreed. He better hope I don't cancel on him.
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So I have not heard from this guy since Tuesday. I guess that's ok because I don't want to talk everyday but on the other hand he's kind of out of sight out of mind. I almost forgot about him except I was checking my weekend calendar. If I don't get a check in tomorrow or early Sunday it ain't happening. We haven't even set a time or place. How much y'all wanna bet he will text about an hour before he wants to meet asking if we're still on? Lol

I'm making brunch plans with a friend on Sunday and we usually end up spending hours together when we brunch (always pick a place with unlimited mimosas!) so potential date guy might get bumped anyway.
 
#TheDatingCommandments are trending on Twitter

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LdyKamz said:
So I have not heard from this guy since Tuesday. I guess that's ok because I don't want to talk everyday but on the other hand he's kind of out of sight out of mind. I almost forgot about him except I was checking my weekend calendar. If I don't get a check in tomorrow or early Sunday it ain't happening. We haven't even set a time or place. How much y'all wanna bet he will text about an hour before he wants to meet asking if we're still on? Lol

I'm making brunch plans with a friend on Sunday and we usually end up spending hours together when we brunch (always pick a place with unlimited mimosas!) so potential date guy might get bumped anyway.
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So I got a text asking if I was free tonight? Um no I'm not, I thought we agreed on Sunday. His "friend" canceled on him. So he thought why not call up the girl I haven't met yet and want to make a good impression on and see if she's available last minute? Lol Pass. So he asked me if I want to do coffee tomorrow afternoon. I said sure he asked what time I said I would be free after 2 since I made brunch plans since he originally said late afternoon/early evening. I have not heard anything since. He's canceled. This is too much back and forth. When he asked me out he should have given me a time and a place. To me the plans are tentative since details haven't been ironed out. Which means if I feel like doing something else (since I don't have cemented plans) I will and I have decided to take myself to sephora and buy myself something pretty. His loss.
 
alright i need opinions..
met this guy online back in october 2017, he slid into the DMs n we exchanged numbers. had THE BEST convos for about 3 weeks. he lives in Chicago me in Cali. we made plans for him to come visit the weekend before thanksgiving (he has an airport job and flies free so no biggie) long story short, he didn't end up coming and i was turned off. I didn't ghost him but i sent a long text about how he switched up n i aint had time for it. then i made no other contact attempts.

we didn't talk after that for about a month. we start texting again (briefly) around christmas and he randomly facetimes me on new years and the 3 week cycle starts up again and continues. we really do have good chemistry but it felt like right person wrong time situation u know? we discuss visiting again but it goes nowhere

now its march 2018
i unfollowed him on all SM in Feb and he called me out on it. i asked him what was the point? we were fake friends. he then CALLS me and proceeds to explain how he now has 2 jobs now and has been super busy blah blah. but he really still wants to come meet/visit me.? how? doesn't seem like it. from march to now (June), he doesn't break the contact n texts/calls me at least every 3-4 days. progress?

May 2018
i text him about possibly being my plus 1 to a friends wedding for our first date. go big or go home right? he calls me up n says he'll try to get the weekend off n he'll let me know by that saturday. monday i get a "i got it off :)" text. i was annoyed bc it was notice given 2 days late but at least he did it. are my standards insane? or am i right to be annoyed by that? anyway....

june 1st 2018
i pick him up from the airport.
he actually came, i was juiced af lol. we had an AMAZING weekend. and already discussing a 2nd visit. he is such a gentleman and so handsome. I'm smitten smh lol. i don't want to get too excited just in case he falls back into the same patterns as before

WHAT DO U ALL THINK?? i really want to know your opinions.

pic from this weekend**
 

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So does anyone else date better when they don't want to date? Lol This guy that I canceled texted me yesterday. Quite a few times with "how are you?" "How was brunch?" "I got a lot of work done." I didn't respond to any of them.

So today I got a good morning text asking me when was good for me to go out. I told him I was free tomorrow. He wrote back he wasn't free until whatever time and the window was small because he had xyz to do at whatever time. I didn't respond. I just don't care. So just now I get a text saying "If you are free on Thursday I would like to take you out. How is 8pm at this place?" Funny thing is he wasn't doing any of this when I was showing interest. When I declined his last minute invite, bumped him on Sunday and ignore his text messages suddenly he knows how to plan a date? But when I was showing interest he was trying to run circles doing this back and forth crap. Why? Men are so annoying sometimes. To accept or not accept? I'm leaning toward not.
 
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