UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
I have never truly taken the time to think about it like that and I can see no lies....
What a dysfunctional cycle.
*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*
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I have never truly taken the time to think about it like that and I can see no lies....
What a dysfunctional cycle.
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
Yea he’s not anyone that I would be checking for, single or not! Which is another reason why his message pissed me off, who said I want you to “come at me for real”???
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
VeryBecoming
Devil's Avocado
Me, with all these perfect date night outfits and no dates 
outspokenwallflower
Well-Known Member
I didn’t know where to post this, so please move it if necessary...
Under what circumstances would you be willing to lend money to a man? Or do a favor (I.e, rent a car under your license) for a man?
There’s a guy I’ve been dating for 3 months now - really like him but he’s recently asked me to borrow money and return it next day due to a bank situation he’s currently taking care of (I know for a fact he’s not lying about the bank issue but my thing is - why ask me and not a homeboy or something?) and has now asked if I could help him rent a car (he only has a foreign license, as he’s a U.K. resident and works in the US as a traveling CPA).
What would you do/how would you handle the situation?
Under what circumstances would you be willing to lend money to a man? Or do a favor (I.e, rent a car under your license) for a man?
There’s a guy I’ve been dating for 3 months now - really like him but he’s recently asked me to borrow money and return it next day due to a bank situation he’s currently taking care of (I know for a fact he’s not lying about the bank issue but my thing is - why ask me and not a homeboy or something?) and has now asked if I could help him rent a car (he only has a foreign license, as he’s a U.K. resident and works in the US as a traveling CPA).
What would you do/how would you handle the situation?
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
Nope. Nope. No.
The audacity first of all. You would be renting him a car under your name but he’s driving it? Girl.... no. That’s something I wouldn’t even have to think about. No
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
How much money is he asking for? I wouldn’t loan any man that I’ve known for 90 days any money. Also, you’d better think critically about the consequences of this before you agree to it. If you rent a car under your name for him to drive that means anything that happens to that car you will be completely responsible for it. There is too much risk involved with this. I would not have to think twice about it. I honestly would have to swerve hard on him if I were you after this OP.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
You have only known him 3 months. There aren't other people in his life he could/would ask? What if he wasn't dating anyone? Who would he go to then? This is what I was going to post in that other thread about men asking for help. Men ask women because they know a woman will at least consider it instead of flat out telling him no. I've been in this situation and of course it did not end well. No matter how well meaning a man is and all the good qualities he has this would color my perception of him always. But I know it's easier for me to say this now because it's not my current situation.
Ms. Tarabotti
Well-Known Member
So he can't rent a car with his foreign license? His company can't help him out (or does he not work for a company?) How do international tourists drive in NYC/the rest of the country?
Why is he asking a woman he barely knows for a substantial amount of money? I assume it's not like $5 to get coffee but $$$ to cover a banking situation. You have only been dating 3 months, he shouldn't be asking you for these kind of favors. He doesn't know you like that.
Please don't lend him any money.
shespoison
Well-Known Member
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oneastrocurlie
Well-Known Member
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
@outspokenwallflower
Don’t do it! Been there, done that and you won’t get it back!!! And you need to leave him alone. The stories I could tell you! Lol please leave him alone and keep your money in your purse.
Don’t do it! Been there, done that and you won’t get it back!!! And you need to leave him alone. The stories I could tell you! Lol please leave him alone and keep your money in your purse.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
He has broken the 90 day rule. You can’t ask your employer for an advance on our paycheck, so why on earth would you ask a woman you are just dating for some money to cover some mess you created? Lol
outspokenwallflower
Well-Known Member
Thank you ALL for your input! I immediately felt uncomfortable the minute he asked for the money AND the car rental help in quick succession of each other. He has so many friends and it seemed so odd to me that he wouldn’t think to ask them first - that and he’s been working in the US as an APA for almost 5 years, so he should’ve already had a regular license or as y’all said, should have no issue renting a car with his foreign one.
I’m definitely going to cut ties with him. I’ll admit, I’m sad because I’m SO disappointed. I really wanted this to go somewhere, but it was a big red flag that he would even think to ask me and not consider how I’d view him for doing so - or maybe, he doesn’t care how I’d perceive him and that is a big enough problem as it is.
Again, thank you so much ladies.
I’m definitely going to cut ties with him. I’ll admit, I’m sad because I’m SO disappointed. I really wanted this to go somewhere, but it was a big red flag that he would even think to ask me and not consider how I’d view him for doing so - or maybe, he doesn’t care how I’d perceive him and that is a big enough problem as it is.
Again, thank you so much ladies.
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
Good job not loaning the money. Ive done that before. Not that soon though but im guilty of it. Once you open that door to loaning money . ...he will find another situation...and another situation to ask u for money. It speaks volumes that he asked by month 3. Nope...no...and nope
ms.tatiana
Well-Known Member
i really hate that this guy is a horrible texter, but in person has great conversational skills ughh
movingforward13
I do what I want...
This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true.
I Am So Blessed
I'm easy going.
Am I awkward??
There's this man that works at my job. He asked me what I like to do? I felt so caught off guard because he asked me in front of both of my supervisors! And so I replayed casually like "its a secret, you'd have to catch me after five".
I would have replied differently if he didn't ask in front of everyone. He was TRYING to ask me out, but didn't finish. It was weird.
He looks exactly like Bobby Brown by the way.
There's this man that works at my job. He asked me what I like to do? I felt so caught off guard because he asked me in front of both of my supervisors! And so I replayed casually like "its a secret, you'd have to catch me after five".
I would have replied differently if he didn't ask in front of everyone. He was TRYING to ask me out, but didn't finish. It was weird.
He looks exactly like Bobby Brown by the way.
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
Bobby Brown now or 1990? LOL
I Am So Blessed
I'm easy going.
LOL! He literally looks like this.
He is not handsome. But that did not play a part in my answer. I just didn't like being put on a spot light.
As I'm typing this Whitney Huston song just came on the radio at work "I wanna dance with somebody". That's crazy.
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Ipanema
Well-Known Member
I posted this in the Manifesting Mavens thread, and want to post it here, too:
Does anyone remember that thing on the internet a long time ago called 101 Things in 1001 Days? Back then, I made a list of 101 things, and the list seemed to be magical in that it took on a life of its own. Opportunities to accomplish these things seemed to magically appear. There was something crazy I put on there, which was to hold a snake in my hands. I had never done that before, and didn't really like snakes. I just wanted to do something crazy. Well, one day, shortly after making the list, I went to my usual grocery store, and there was a girl who appeared to be about 18 or 19 standing at the entrance holding a white snake around her shoulders! She had a resting (b)itch face, and was staring off into the distance. But she was black, so I felt comfortable going up to her for a chat. She was friendly. I asked her if I could hold the snake, and she gave it to me. All I was thinking was "Check mark on my list!"
I did not have to go anywhere special like a pet store or zoo. I did not know anyone with a snake. It was like magic. There were other things that happened like that. I think the list was a way of expecting something to happen, but also letting go of the "how." After those years, I made another list, but it was different. I felt like I needed to accomplish certain things in life, and I put things on there that weren't very fun. It ended up looking like a giant to-do list, and nothing magical happened. I think the key is putting things on there that you are excited about.
I've decided to manifest the romantic relationship of my dreams using this method. Before, I just wanted a relationship, maybe even marriage. Then I thought of certain questions, like "Why do I want this?" and "What do I really want to do and to feel?" So I am making a list of 101 things to do as a couple with my romantic partner. I'm halfway done with the list. The good thing is, I'll have a good time for a long time no matter who ends up being my romantic partner.
Does anyone want to join me in manifesting a great romance? Swap ideas?
(Maybe I should make this a thread by itself.)
Does anyone remember that thing on the internet a long time ago called 101 Things in 1001 Days? Back then, I made a list of 101 things, and the list seemed to be magical in that it took on a life of its own. Opportunities to accomplish these things seemed to magically appear. There was something crazy I put on there, which was to hold a snake in my hands. I had never done that before, and didn't really like snakes. I just wanted to do something crazy. Well, one day, shortly after making the list, I went to my usual grocery store, and there was a girl who appeared to be about 18 or 19 standing at the entrance holding a white snake around her shoulders! She had a resting (b)itch face, and was staring off into the distance. But she was black, so I felt comfortable going up to her for a chat. She was friendly. I asked her if I could hold the snake, and she gave it to me. All I was thinking was "Check mark on my list!"
I did not have to go anywhere special like a pet store or zoo. I did not know anyone with a snake. It was like magic. There were other things that happened like that. I think the list was a way of expecting something to happen, but also letting go of the "how." After those years, I made another list, but it was different. I felt like I needed to accomplish certain things in life, and I put things on there that weren't very fun. It ended up looking like a giant to-do list, and nothing magical happened. I think the key is putting things on there that you are excited about.
I've decided to manifest the romantic relationship of my dreams using this method. Before, I just wanted a relationship, maybe even marriage. Then I thought of certain questions, like "Why do I want this?" and "What do I really want to do and to feel?" So I am making a list of 101 things to do as a couple with my romantic partner. I'm halfway done with the list. The good thing is, I'll have a good time for a long time no matter who ends up being my romantic partner.
Does anyone want to join me in manifesting a great romance? Swap ideas?
(Maybe I should make this a thread by itself.)Immediate red flag. I want a man who is resourceful and doesn't depend on me to take care of stuff like this. 3 months and you are the only one he can count on to help him out? No ma'am. I would say I'm sorry I can't help you out and keep it moving.
sgold04
Well-Known Member
My friend received a “hello Barbara, this is Shirley” call this morning....a lot of these married men are basura. It’s to the point where she checks the country registry to see if the men she’s talking to are married.
I was just in nola and one man at a bar started chatting with us. None of us were flirtatious with him, we just chatted like anyone else. Apparently he thought we didn’t see his wedding ring, so he goes to the bathroom and when he came back it was gone
my homegirl called him out on it.
Basura
I was just in nola and one man at a bar started chatting with us. None of us were flirtatious with him, we just chatted like anyone else. Apparently he thought we didn’t see his wedding ring, so he goes to the bathroom and when he came back it was gone
my homegirl called him out on it. Basura
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
If one more person tells me “Happy Mother’s Day” while I’m out I may just scream. I am not nobody’s mother!!
Ipanema
Well-Known Member
I finished my 101 Things list, and I am putting it up on a board at home. My original goal this year was to focus on myself only and not men. I feel like this is a way of affirming what I want in my life. I can focus on my own vision of what my relationship experiences are going to be and feel like, and whoever doesn't fit into my vision can go away. 
hopeful
Well-Known Member
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
hopeful
Well-Known Member
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