*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Dang I embarrassed myself yesterday. :oops: Has anyone ever done this?

I met up this guy for dinner yesterday for a first date. We had a decent phone convo the week prior (met on POF) and we had a decent vibe via phone and text. Mistake one was not refreshing my memory he looked like. I usually log onto the dating app right before the date as a refresher. But I was unmotivated about this meet up due to his age and didn't do it. So I get there and start looking around. And I see a text saying he was there. I see a guy sitting by himself and I start chatting saying "oh there you are." Then the guy says he was waiting for his wife. :thud: I was mortified and wanted to crawl into a hole. The employee then pointed out that there was a guy at the front of the restaurant waiting for someone. By this time I was over it but had to go thru the motions. :rolleyes: And I had to sit and see this other guy with his wife and child in my line of sight.

He was a nice guy but he was young and still trying to get himself together. Talking about maybe going to school and how he hates his job, blab blab. We are different stations in life and I ain't here for it. So won't be adding him to my rotation.
 
I'm trying to figure out what madness I called to myself based on what just happened to me. For the past week or so I've been visualizing my forever relationship and I usually do it before I go to bed and try to forget about it. When I wake in the morning I feel refreshed and focused on my day ahead. (I started doing this when I was stressing over the stupid bad boy) But this morning I woke up and I didn't feel aligned. I felt out of it for lack of a better phrase and all throughout the day my thoughts kept drifting to past relationships and what I liked about them. I didn't want to think about this stuff but my thoughts kept going there. And again I've felt so...yucky today. Just all out of sorts.

So I get home and shut my phone off to charge. I just turn it back on and there are like 20 text messages from an old flame basically calling me "an embellisher" saying to prove to him all the things I claimed during our time together. The 2 things he asked me to prove I could have easily done...but why??? It was so random and accusatory and weird. He was someone my thoughts drifted to today but things didn't end poorly with this particular person so his behavior was certainly out of left field. I engaged for a brief moment and told him that I could do the things he was asking me to but I didn't understand why. What would it matter and if he didn't care as he claimed then why was he doing this. He said in all caps "BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST ANYTHING YOU SAY TO ME!" I stopped responding and just thought to myself well this bridge has been burnt. I didn't have any ill feelings toward him and before this if he had been one to reach out to me randomly and say hello I wouldn't ignore him.

I'm also posting this in the manifesting mavens thread because I'm trying to figure out what about my thoughts during the day today called this to me? I am starting to believe there are no coincidences. So I feel I did this somehow but I don't know how! I suppose it doesn't matter but this was rather upsetting tonight because it was so out of left field and me and this dude ended on decent terms. Like what is happening right now?
 
I hate online dating. Today's message.

I love your profile. I am not am not a nut, nor a a stalker, just direct. I have picked your profile out of the masses. i dig what I dig, so here goes. I would love you come over and :eek: you while you drink wine. I don't want this to be our only encounter. Just our first. I love an assertive confident in-charge woman. I want to show up with you in only a shirt, make me get you wine and service you forever. This is how I know we are a match.
Click to expand...
 
OhTall1 said:
I hate online dating. Today's message.
Click to expand...

tenor.gif
 
OhTall1 said:
I hate online dating. Today's message.
Click to expand...
Online dating allows men to just be able to pick and choose. They don’t have to do much work, and get to hide behind a screen. They don’t use their natural mating instinct in order to get a woman’s attention. It’s like going to an all you can eat buffett. The food isn’t good, since it’s sort of a jack of all trades, master at none thing, but they will eat there anywhere. No real effort and they can be jerks to see how far a woman will allow them to go.
 
LdyKamz said:
I'm trying to figure out what madness I called to myself based on what just happened to me. For the past week or so I've been visualizing my forever relationship and I usually do it before I go to bed and try to forget about it. When I wake in the morning I feel refreshed and focused on my day ahead. (I started doing this when I was stressing over the stupid bad boy) But this morning I woke up and I didn't feel aligned. I felt out of it for lack of a better phrase and all throughout the day my thoughts kept drifting to past relationships and what I liked about them. I didn't want to think about this stuff but my thoughts kept going there. And again I've felt so...yucky today. Just all out of sorts.

So I get home and shut my phone off to charge. I just turn it back on and there are like 20 text messages from an old flame basically calling me "an embellisher" saying to prove to him all the things I claimed during our time together. The 2 things he asked me to prove I could have easily done...but why??? It was so random and accusatory and weird. He was someone my thoughts drifted to today but things didn't end poorly with this particular person so his behavior was certainly out of left field. I engaged for a brief moment and told him that I could do the things he was asking me to but I didn't understand why. What would it matter and if he didn't care as he claimed then why was he doing this. He said in all caps "BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST ANYTHING YOU SAY TO ME!" I stopped responding and just thought to myself well this bridge has been burnt. I didn't have any ill feelings toward him and before this if he had been one to reach out to me randomly and say hello I wouldn't ignore him.

I'm also posting this in the manifesting mavens thread because I'm trying to figure out what about my thoughts during the day today called this to me? I am starting to believe there are no coincidences. So I feel I did this somehow but I don't know how! I suppose it doesn't matter but this was rather upsetting tonight because it was so out of left field and me and this dude ended on decent terms. Like what is happening right now?
Click to expand...
You gotta just let things happen. You put out there what you want, but the key is to just go on with your life. Live and love. Visionalizing daily/nightly will show the Universe you are of lack, that you feel you are missing something, and once you get it, you will feel better. So guess what? You are gonna get just that! You are gonna get something, someone from a place of lack. The ex boyfriends will return and you will have to go through it to learn your lesson again.
If you want love in your life, show love, be of love! Smile, show kindness and compassion to others, be thankful, and have a giving heart. Stop mentally chasing and focusing on having a man.
 
Last edited:
I’ve been talking to a guy I met several weeks ago but kept giving the run around; mainly because he lives in Indiana and I really don’t have an interest in the long distance thing.

However, after our little text misunderstanding he told me he wanted “to learn me” and we’ve been talking on the phone quite a bit. I’m lowkey intrigued by him but my skepticism and annoyance with men won’t let me get overly excited, which is a good thing in my opinion.


**One thing that I saw as a red flag (but maybe not) was the fact that he said he has a difficult time getting attached to people. He said his father committed suicide 10 years ago and ever since then he has found it difficult because he’s come to the realization that everyone dies so why get overly attached**

I wasn’t sure how to feel about that statement but I told him he should probably get therapy/counseling to work through those feelings.
 
Last edited:
shortdub78 said:
Online dating allows men to just be able to pick and choose. They don’t have to do much work, and get to hide behind a screen. They don’t use their natural mating instinct in order to get a woman’s attention. It’s like going to an all you can eat buffett. The food isn’t good, since it’s sort of a jack of all trades, master at none thing, but they will eat there anywhere. No real effort and they can be jerks to see how far a woman will allow them to go.
Click to expand...



This makes so much sense. That’s why I hate online dating and social media too, it’s made them lazy.
 
Evolving78 said:
You gotta just let things happen. You put out there what you want, but the key is to just go on with your life. Live and love. Visionalizing daily/nightly will show the Universe you are of lack, that you feel you are missing something, and once you get it, you will feel better. So guess what? You are gonna get just that! You are gonna get something, someone from a place of lack. The ex boyfriends will return and you will have to go through it to learn your lesson again.
If you want love in your life, show love, be of love! Smile, show kindness and compassion to others, be thankful, and have a giving heart. Stop mentally chasing and focusing on having a man.
Click to expand...

I'm doing most of this and I do agree that my focus (however unintentional) on the past boyfriends called one of them back to me. But I'm not sure I 100% agree with the visualization thing because I'm not daydreaming about what could be. I'm seeing what is, what is already there. Where I think I went wrong was my vibration all day yesterday. I couldn't shake it and I kept going back to what I liked and what I didn't like. I didn't need to do that but again I couldn't help it. I tried to do something else but couldn't concentrate. I guess everyone has off days.
 
@LdyKamz
Don’t be hard on yourself! This is a journey and we are learning as we go! The great thing about all of this is that we are becoming aware and have direction. We aren’t walking around here with blindfolds anymore, waiting for stuff to happen! Right now I’m working on being comfortable in the uncomfortable. The Key to visionalization is to have fun with it! Just be ready for what comes your way! I tend to lean more towards Michael Beckwith’s teachings of Life Visioning vs visualization. The manifestation is to show you (through your five senses) how LOA works.
I’m learning that believing, behaving, thinking, feeling as if what you desire for your life is already here. You just have to tap into it vibrationally for the manifestation to take place. But if you got some unresolved issues going on, there will be resistance, and what Abraham Hicks calls wobbles.
 
Last edited:
UniquelyDivine said:
I’ve been talking to a guy I met several weeks ago but kept giving the run around; mainly because he lives in Indiana and I really don’t have an interest in the long distance thing.

However, after our little text misunderstanding he told me he wanted “to learn me” and we’ve been talking on the phone quite a bit. I’m lowkey intrigued by him but my skepticism and annoyance with men won’t let me get overly excited, which is a good thing in my opinion.


**One thing that I saw as a red flag (but maybe not) was the fact that he said he has a difficult time getting attached to people. He said his father committed suicide 10 years ago and ever since then he has found it difficult because he’s come to the realization that everyone dies so why get overly attached**

I wasn’t sure how to feel about that statement but I told him he should probably get therapy/counseling to work through those feelings.
Click to expand...

I agree with you that it's a red flag. I would run the other way.

These situations tend to result in either a) emotional abuse under the cloak of "well I told you I got emotional problems..." or b) you doing the emotional labor of helping him heal from some ish that has nothing to do with you or c) him blowing hot and cold or acting out and using his "attachment issues" as an excuse.

If he was sincerely working on this, I doubt he'd reveal it this early or he would have told you what he was doing to move past it. There are entirely too many books, seminars, YouTube videos, blogs, podcasts, therapists, coaches, healers, and practitioners in this world for him to not at least be trying without prodding from a woman.
 
Divine Inspiration said:
I agree with you that it's a red flag. I would run the other way.

These situations tend to result in either a) emotional abuse under the cloak of "well I told you I got emotional problems..." or b) you doing the emotional labor of helping him heal from some ish that has nothing to do with you or c) him blowing hot and cold or acting out and using his "attachment issues" as an excuse.

If he was sincerely working on this, I doubt he'd reveal it this early or he would have told you what he was doing to move past it. There are entirely too many books, seminars, YouTube videos, blogs, podcasts, therapists, coaches, healers, and practitioners in this world for him to not at least be trying without prodding from a woman.
Click to expand...


You are sooo right!

On one hand I applaud his honesty but I’m at a lost as to why he’s even in the dating game with these issues. I asked him how it is effecting his romontic relationships and he gave me a strange and extremely vague answer.
 
On one hand I applaud his honesty but I’m at a lost as to why he’s even in the dating game with these issues. I asked him how it is effecting his romontic relationships and he gave me a strange and extremely vague answer.
Click to expand...

Because men rarely feel anything should disqualify them from what they want, especially where sex and romance are concerned. Every now and then, they are mature and self-aware enough to realize they need to take a step back, especially if they want a wife. But think about how often women happily sign up to love/nurture/feed/sex them through their dysfunction in order to win the prize of their love after they're "healed?" We tend to be self-conscious about all this "work" we need to do on ourselves to "attract" and keep the right man, but unhealthy men don't see themselves that way, even when they are broke/busted/disgusted.

The fact that he couldn't offer a thoughtful answer says he is laying out the board for some mind games and wasted time.
 
Divine Inspiration said:
Because men rarely feel anything should disqualify them from what they want, especially where sex and romance are concerned. Every now and then, they are mature and self-aware enough to realize they need to take a step back, especially if they want a wife. But think about how often women happily sign up to love/nurture/feed/sex them through their dysfunction in order to win the prize of their love after they're "healed?" We tend to be self-conscious about all this "work" we need to do on ourselves to "attract" and keep the right man, but unhealthy men don't see themselves that way, even when they are broke/busted/disgusted.
Click to expand...
Truer words have never been spoken. The bold parts especially. I already know this but I'm really starting to pay attention to it.
 
Divine Inspiration said:
Because men rarely feel anything should disqualify them from what they want, especially where sex and romance are concerned. Every now and then, they are mature and self-aware enough to realize they need to take a step back, especially if they want a wife. But think about how often women happily sign up to love/nurture/feed/sex them through their dysfunction in order to win the prize of their love after they're "healed?" We tend to be self-conscious about all this "work" we need to do on ourselves to "attract" and keep the right man, but unhealthy men don't see themselves that way, even when they are broke/busted/disgusted.

The fact that he couldn't offer a thoughtful answer says he is laying out the board for some mind games and wasted time.
Click to expand...

If I could hit this like button 10 thousand times I would. You better preach in here!!!
 
Yall are speaking truth in here.
My days of feeling compelled to help dudes emotionally are over. My empathy would take over and i would get into situations with men like the one described above. Never again. It leads nowhere and im too old to be dealing with someone else's demons that they arent even willing to fix themselves
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Hairsnob
FB Read: My Thoughts on How a Man Chooses a Woman to Settle Down With
Replies
18
Views
1K
Hairsnob
Hairsnob
misskris816
Never thought I'd be one of those girls...
2
Replies
51
Views
2K
misskris816
misskris816
Tene
Great Hair Tips for Damaged Hair and Hair Growth
4 5 6
Replies
171
Views
104K
Ivonnovi
Ivonnovi
Back
Top