*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

My girl asked me what was going on with this guy... I told her that we’ve somewhat communicated but, not really. I explained that I expect men to put more effort into keeping the communication going and that he expects the same from women... so obviously that creates a disconnect. She says that doesn’t have to be a disconnect, just text him and tell him to call you. I told her that I won’t be doing that.

Why should I have to tell a man to call me? Heck, I have another one that calls too much. If I just need to talk to a dude, I’ll talk to him! Smh
 
On second thought I don’t know if I want to date right now. I still have lots of resentment from the person this past summer as well as some other situations. I feel like it would be unfair to date and end up in a relationship with someone that they would have to deal with me and my resentments.

On another note this person that I’ve been talking to is planning on coming here for Valentines Day. We are becoming really good friends. We have been helping each other out and encouraging one another as we go through this dating world.
 
Saw my medium again and it's funny because a few things have changed but not much. She still sees the J from the last talk we had and I thought that was funny. She says she sees us meeting in a classroom setting which is also another weird thing because I just registered for classes at 2 different schools/workshops. This is something I would never do especially if the classes are offered online but for some reason this time I wanted to be around people because I've been wanting to make new friends as well as new professional connections if I can. She and I spent most of our time talking about my career though since I feel stuck. About 6-7 months ago I had an idea about a career change and decided not to take the plunge and stay in my field and try to advance here. I think that was the wrong move and I'm trying to regroup after this realization. I guess I just wanted some confirmation on that. She helped me though and gave me some book recs. I'll wait a few months and see how much of our talk connects for me.
 
Ok, this guy is texting me too much considering we haven't had a first date yet. If I knew we had in-person chemistry maybe I wouldn't mind. But our first date isn't until this weekend. So the incessant texting is a bit anxiety-provoking and I already struggle with anxiety. It might be a cultural difference because he didn't grow up in the US or the West for that matter. But I need to put a stop to it or I'm not going to like him anymore.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
Ok, this guy is texting me too much considering we haven't had a first date yet. If I knew we had in-person chemistry maybe I wouldn't mind. But our first date isn't until this weekend. So the incessant texting is a bit anxiety-provoking and I already struggle with anxiety. It might be a cultural difference because he didn't grow up in the US or the West for that matter. But I need to put a stop to it or I'm not going to like him anymore.
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What kind of stuff is he texting about?
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
Just basic stuff. Like "Good morning" "How's your day going?" "What are you up to today?" "Such-and-such happened at work." "Good night." It's annoying because I'm busy during the day. I don't need to know every little thing that happens in his day. We're not there yet.
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Yea that's annoying. If he doesn't have a lot of experience with women he could be afraid you'll lose interest if he doesn't keep in contact before your date. Or he may have dated women in the past who expected daily communication. How do you respond?
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
Just basic stuff. Like "Good morning" "How's your day going?" "What are you up to today?" "Such-and-such happened at work." "Good night." It's annoying because I'm busy during the day. I don't need to know every little thing that happens in his day. We're not there yet.
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That is very annoying. He seems needy. I gave my number to a guy who acted like that, and it would make me so angry whenever he'd text something stupid, like "Good Morning," first thing in the morning.
 
If a person has children, and when asked or when discussed they say all their children are "normal/healthy" but then when you meet the child/children they look special needs (physically and mentally). Is this a red flag?
 
SurferBabe said:
Yea that's annoying. If he doesn't have a lot of experience with women he could be afraid you'll lose interest if he doesn't keep in contact before your date. Or he may have dated women in the past who expected daily communication. How do you respond?
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I respond back quickly. Luckily it doesn't last long. The thing is I got so anxious and distracted from my work yesterday I turned my phone off and my anxiety went down pretty quickly. I'm trying to cut back on my phone use anyway to help with my anxiety. He's already told me a little about his past relationships so I don't think it's lack of experience. I think he's a little needy. If we'd met organically I'd maybe be ok with it. But when I started online dating I made a conscious decision to not get comfortable talking on the phone before we meet in person so I won't build up expectations.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
I respond back quickly. Luckily it doesn't last long. The thing is I got so anxious and distracted from my work yesterday I turned my phone off and my anxiety went down pretty quickly. I'm trying to cut back on my phone use anyway to help with my anxiety. He's already told me a little about his past relationships so I don't think it's lack of experience. I think he's a little needy. If we'd met organically I'd maybe be ok with it. But when I started online dating I made a conscious decision to not get comfortable talking on the phone before we meet in person so I won't build up expectations.
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I will admit I like to text even though I see the general consensus on the board is not to do it often. Daily texting and full on text conversations before a first date seem a little extreme even to me (again a person who prefers texting). If you talked online, had one or 2 phone conversations, then made a date for the weekend then all the extra communication is unnecessary. If he wants to talk and keep momentum going, he can call but I don't think it's all that necessary anyway since you 2 will be meeting in person soon. Doing all of that does build you up for an even greater let down if you realize there's no connection in person. I would just not respond to all the extras. Hey how's your day going is cool but that's about it.
 
KammyGirl said:
Doing all of that does build you up for an even greater let down if you realize there's no connection in person. I would just not respond to all the extras. Hey how's your day going is cool but that's about it.
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The bolded is what I'm afraid of. We've had two phone conversations which have been great but it could all amount to nothing if our in person connection isn't the same and he admitted to me as such.
 
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