*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

**SaSSy** said:
If a person has children, and when asked or when discussed they say all their children are "normal/healthy" but then when you meet the child/children they look special needs (physically and mentally). Is this a red flag?
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I tell people right away about my children, since they appear normal looking on the outside. People talk to them like they are normal and my children might not understand what that person is saying, or trying to do.

With that all being said, that person is in denial, or wants their not normal child to be treated normal, and it just doesn’t work like that. Plus, somebody needs to be given the chance to decide if that is something they want to get involved with it. I try not to say deal with anymore, because dealing with something doesn’t mean accepting something. Big red flag. Somebody on yt said they are praying for their child to be cured of ASD...that kinda messed me up.. it’s not a disease. It’s just a person on spectrum just operates differently. So you have folks out there still waiting on a magical vaccine, or some type of food that will make the ASD go away... red flag...
 
Tell me if I’m reading too much into this; I am a habitual over-thinker, but idk.

Cliff notes: tonight, I’m supposed to hang with a guy I’ve been texting for about a week.

Since exchanging numbers a little over a week ago, he’s never bothered to call. The meetup was set up via text.

When we text each other it’s typically spaced out, I.e, responses are rarely immediate and are usually 20 mins or more on both ends.

So he knows I have a habit of sleeping late and I found a text from him last night asking why I do. I explained and asked why he was up so late (it was 1:55 AM). I’m a light sleeper so at night I silence my phone, vibrations and all. So I set my phone down expecting to eventually get a text and depending on whether I drifted off or not, would answer that night or sometime in the morning when I peeped it. Well I picked up my phone awhile later to see he called me 2 mins after my last text. I felt bad because I felt it probably looked like I purposely ignored the call since it came in so soon after my text.

I didn’t think much into it until my bff told me that it looked sus and that he probably thinks I have something to hide, lol.

I kinda like this guy and I rarely date so I’ve been a weird nervous wreck. He’s older, mature, intelligent and just... diff from what I’m used to. Do y’all think my friend is right in thinking it looked sus?
 
outspokenwallflower said:
Tell me if I’m reading too much into this; I am a habitual over-thinker, but idk.

Cliff notes: tonight, I’m supposed to hang with a guy I’ve been texting for about a week.

Since exchanging numbers a little over a week ago, he’s never bothered to call. The meetup was set up via text.

When we text each other it’s typically spaced out, I.e, responses are rarely immediate and are usually 20 mins or more on both ends.

So he knows I have a habit of sleeping late and I found a text from him last night asking why I do. I explained and asked why he was up so late (it was 1:55 AM). I’m a light sleeper so at night I silence my phone, vibrations and all. So I set my phone down expecting to eventually get a text and depending on whether I drifted off or not, would answer that night or sometime in the morning when I peeped it. Well I picked up my phone awhile later to see he called me 2 mins after my last text. I felt bad because I felt it probably looked like I purposely ignored the call since it came in so soon after my text.

I didn’t think much into it until my bff told me that it looked sus and that he probably thinks I have something to hide, lol.

I kinda like this guy and I rarely date so I’ve been a weird nervous wreck. He’s older, mature, intelligent and just... diff from what I’m used to. Do y’all think my friend is right in thinking it looked sus?
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Nope, I don't think she is right.

He shouldn't be calling you at 2am, ya'll don't know each other like that (even if you were awake). He's had a week to call you during normal hours, right? Why isn't it suspect that his first call is at 2am? There's only one things that guys want in the middle of the night.

Late night phone calls and texts bother me which is why I silence my phone. I cannot stand when people disturb my sleep. I get irrationally angry lol. But yeah I haven't been cool with those late night random calls from guys since college or shortly after that.

ETA: I don't respond to late night texts, even if I do see it that night. I'll ignore it or respond the next day (depending on what they said). Most likely ignoring it though.
 
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ScorpioBeauty09 said:
I respond back quickly. Luckily it doesn't last long. The thing is I got so anxious and distracted from my work yesterday I turned my phone off and my anxiety went down pretty quickly. I'm trying to cut back on my phone use anyway to help with my anxiety. He's already told me a little about his past relationships so I don't think it's lack of experience. I think he's a little needy. If we'd met organically I'd maybe be ok with it. But when I started online dating I made a conscious decision to not get comfortable talking on the phone before we meet in person so I won't build up expectations.
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Next time don't respond until later that evening, then say something like -- 'Whoops, just saw this. Sometimes I don't have my phone on me during the work day.' He'll get the message.
 
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prettyinpurple said:
Nope, I don't think she is right.

He shouldn't be calling you at 2am, ya'll don't know each other like that (even if you were awake). He's had a week to call you during normal hours, right? Why isn't it suspect that his first call is at 2am? There's only one things that guys want in the middle of the night.

Late night phone calls and texts bother me which is why I silence my phone. I cannot stand when people disturb my sleep. I get irrationally angry lol. But yeah I haven't been cool with those late night random calls from guys since college or shortly after that.

ETA: I don't respond to late night texts, even if I do see it that night. I'll ignore it or respond the next day (depending on what they said). Most likely ignoring it though.
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Ironically I typically do the same thing, since I don't want to spark what could be a long convo when I should be coaxing myself to sleep, but I was truly wide awake and bored, so I answered, not expecting that outcome at all lol.
 
prettyinpurple said:
Nope, I don't think she is right.

He shouldn't be calling you at 2am, ya'll don't know each other like that (even if you were awake). He's had a week to call you during normal hours, right? Why isn't it suspect that his first call is at 2am? There's only one things that guys want in the middle of the night.

Late night phone calls and texts bother me which is why I silence my phone. I cannot stand when people disturb my sleep. I get irrationally angry lol. But yeah I haven't been cool with those late night random calls from guys since college or shortly after that.

ETA: I don't respond to late night texts, even if I do see it that night. I'll ignore it or respond the next day (depending on what they said). Most likely ignoring it though.
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And yes, it crossed my mind that it should be more suspect that he called at that time as opposed to me not answering even if I was awake. Could he have something to hide because he chose to call at that time rather than regular, reasonable hours?
 
shortdub78 said:
I tell people right away about my children, since they appear normal looking on the outside. People talk to them like they are normal and my children might not understand what that person is saying, or trying to do.

With that all being said, that person is in denial, or wants their not normal child to be treated normal, and it just doesn’t work like that. Plus, somebody needs to be given the chance to decide if that is something they want to get involved with it. I try not to say deal with anymore, because dealing with something doesn’t mean accepting something. Big red flag. Somebody on yt said they are praying for their child to be cured of ASD...that kinda messed me up.. it’s not a disease. It’s just a person on spectrum just operates differently. So you have folks out there still waiting on a magical vaccine, or some type of food that will make the ASD go away... red flag...
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You are totally right. People should know what they are possible getting into up front, and not dismiss or act as if it doesn't exist. It took him forever (over 6 months) for me to meet his children. He's not the custodial parent, but has an influence in his children's lives. When I met them, you can tell one (or more) were delayed or might have developmental problems and one of them had a speech impediment. That is genetic and if we were to have children, could or passed down. He has a speech impediment himself, so I know that's genetic from him or both parents.
 
outspokenwallflower said:
And yes, it crossed my mind that it should be more suspect that he called at that time as opposed to me not answering even if I was awake. Could he have something to hide because he chose to call at that time rather than regular, reasonable hours?
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Your first date is tonight? If so good luck. Also, I’m just glad that you didn’t pick up the call.
 
**SaSSy** said:
You are totally right. People should know what they are possible getting into up front, and not dismiss or act as if it doesn't exist. It took him forever (over 6 months) for me to meet his children. He's not the custodial parent, but has an influence in his children's lives. When I met them, you can tell one (or more) were delayed or might have developmental problems and one of them had a speech impediment. That is genetic and if we were to have children, could or passed down. He has a speech impediment himself, so I know that's genetic from him or both parents.
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Yeah I wouldn’t be making in major plans with him, if that isn’t something you for your life. You already have a picture of the possibility of what could be. And it’s ok to not feel bad about that, if you decide to end things, or just be his friend.
 
SurferBabe said:
Next time don't respond until later that evening, then say something like -- 'Whoops, just saw this. Sometimes I don't have my phone on me during the work day.' He'll get the message.
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We had a short phone conversation yesterday and I told him outright he doesn’t need to text me so much because we’re just starting to get to know each other. And he hasn’t.
 
outspokenwallflower said:
And yes, it crossed my mind that it should be more suspect that he called at that time as opposed to me not answering even if I was awake. Could he have something to hide because he chose to call at that time rather than regular, reasonable hours?
Click to expand...
I doubt there's anything to hide. Usually it's pretty obvious what guys want when they call you late at night. They aren't calling to chitchat.

Regardless, it's not cool to call someone at 2am when you barely know them.
 
Ok, my date on Sunday is OFF. My goodness.

So my date texted me where he wanted to go. It's some secluded location in the hills. It has beautiful views of our area but it's not appropriate for a first date. o_O I immediately told him to find another, more public location. He complies. Then I remember something I saw, and that he mentioned on his profile. He's been married before. I call him and ask if he can talk. I ask him if what the status is on that. FYI he's slightly just older than me, 31 and he's been in the US for 10 years. He says he's separated and that he told me. He's in the middle of divorce proceedings. He did but he brushed over it and I planned to bring it up on the date but I'm so glad I brought it up now. I say I can't date someone who is still legally tied to someone else and our date has to be off. He says ok, if that's what I want. He asks if I want to wait until it's all done or I don't want to date him at all. I say I'm not interested at all. Then I get this looooong text about how he enjoyed talking to me, that his ex lives in a different part of the state and is living with someone else. But if that's what I want then he's ok. I respond that it is. I enjoyed talking to him too but contact has to end now and I wish him the best.

I've never gotten this aggressive before in stating my needs. It feels good. :p
 
I slimmed down a lot recently and did it quickly. Since I did it for myself, the extra male attention is creeping me out a little. I think they look like crazy people in the face. I am the same person, but they act more friendly, smiley, and with shining eyes. :confused: If I was skinny my whole life, I'd probably think that men liked me for me, or that I was awesome. Nope, it's all about looks.
 
hopeful said:
Happy Birthday @MzLady78 !!!
Enjoy the beach! And tell your sissy I said hi too!
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deediamante said:
Happy Birthday @MzLady78!!:bouncy:
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mz.rae said:
Has anyone on here used match? I signed up for it but the subscription prices seem expensive. I can’t see spending a hundred something on a site and possibly not meet anyone.

Happy belated birthday @MzLady78!!!
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Thank you, ladies!

Best. Birthday. Ever.

There were 4 white couples and 2 sisters from Cananda staying at our BnB (WoC, but we’re not exactly sure what :lol:). Everyone was so chill and fun. We spent a lot of time with the sisters, dinner one night, a day trip around the island in a golf cart and most nights we ended up partying together at the bar across the street from us. Usually, we’d run into one or 2 of the couples there too. The sisters also took the initiative to book a private space in one of the bars for Super Bowl (which was my actual birthday), putting down 1000 pesos towards the bill, and my sis took care of the rest. I’d ordered a tiara with “40” on it and wore it all night. :lol:

The whole trip was perfect, I’ve never had a harder time coming back from a vacation as I did this one.
 
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Reason #5637227 why I am giving up on online dating. A guy messaged me asking for more pics. lol I was not going to respond. The only reason I did was because I had "liked" him some time ago. So I just sent a short message back saying I don't usually send more pictures so someone who can't be bothered to even say hello, too bad you were kind of cute too. And I went about my business. He decides to send me a message back saying in one breath he made a mistake but in the next basically asking how dare I call him out. He said "in your eyes, I made a mistake and I did, I'm only human but I'm gonna need someone who doesn't bust my balls. A word of advice..." And I stopped reading after that. Some men make me sick. You cannot admit wrong doing and then go but why you calling me out instead of just accepting my mistake?

The way people date online is like they can do whatever they want because we all know why we're here right. So no one has to be polite, men expect women to message first, they can ask for more pics, a fb, instagram whatever before asking for your number. It is so odd to me that it is expected I invite them into every aspect of my life (i.e. all social media accounts) so they can see what I look like, what I do, how I act, all my friends, possible even some of my family all without even asking for my number. And I'm the weird one for thinking that they're weird. This is not dating. IRL a guy cannot go up to a girl and say "hey" and then expect her to carry the conversation. If he approached her he will pretend to have something to say right? Even if it's about the damn lettuce stacked in front of them. Online if a guy says hey and you say hey back they immediately assume you aren't interested because you haven't picked up the convo when that's their job. IRL a guy doesn't go up to a girl and say can I have your instagram account. I see you here right now but I want to see what your life is life before I actually decide if I want to get to know you.

This isn't a rant even though it sounds like one. It's more of an observation. I can't believe social interactions, how people make friends, how people date have changed this drastically. It's all quite fascinating when you think about it.
 
Ipanema said:
I slimmed down a lot recently and did it quickly. Since I did it for myself, the extra male attention is creeping me out a little. I think they look like crazy people in the face. I am the same person, but they act more friendly, smiley, and with shining eyes. :confused: If I was skinny my whole life, I'd probably think that men liked me for me, or that I was awesome. Nope, it's all about looks.
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This is true. I lost a lot of weight once and it is very overwhelming. I posted here once that I was starting to get attitudes with people that didn’t know me before :rofl: when really I should’ve channeled my anger to people who saw me every day.

So yeah. It’s such an ugly truth but losing weight will definitely increase your dating prospects.
 
MzLady78 said:
Thank you, ladies!

Best. Birthday. Ever.

There were 4 white couples and 2 sisters from Cananda staying at our BnB (WoC, but we’re not exactly sure what :lol:). Everyone was so chill and fun. We spent a lot of time with the sisters, dinner one night, a day trip around the island in a golf cart and most nights we ended up partying together at the bar across the street from us. Usually, we’d run into one or 2 of the couples there too. The sisters also took the initiative to book a private space in one of the bars for Super Bowl (which was my actual birthday), putting down 1000 pesos towards the bill, and my sis took care of the rest. I’d ordered a tiara with “40” on it and wore it all night. :lol:

The whole trip was perfect, I’ve never had a harder time coming back from a vacation as I did this one.
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I smiled the whole time reading this! Your new year began on your born day! That’s how I see it! Lol
 
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