*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Yes and definitely should have listened to my gut. He messed up my life BIG TIME.
UniquelyDivine said:
Have any of y’all ever had a weird feeling about a guy that’s super nice but there is just something that is throwing you off & you can’t figure out what it is?

I’m big on using discernment but at face value he is doing everything right, communicates with me throughout the day, actually calls and doesn’t just text, makes plans & has been nothing but respectful but I feel nothing & I actually get annoyed when I see his calls & texts flash across my notifications.

I’m feeling like I’ have serious issues :nono:
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Flourishnikov said:
:cry3:Come back. I need examples. Why do u say such things?!



Details, please! What happened?! :cry3:
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Hey I’m a Sag and introvert. I rebuke these sentiments. I’m a woman ( have to clarify these days) and while we can be a bit much to deal with as we love freedom and value our connections, if you respect that all is well. Most of the men like variety to the point they may not be faithful or relationship oriented but that’s only of they feel you want to take their freedom. If you allow them to be themselves and act aloof they will stay.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Have any of y’all ever had a weird feeling about a guy that’s super nice but there is just something that is throwing you off & you can’t figure out what it is?

I’m big on using discernment but at face value he is doing everything right, communicates with me throughout the day, actually calls and doesn’t just text, makes plans & has been nothing but respectful but I feel nothing & I actually get annoyed when I see his calls & texts flash across my notifications.

I’m feeling like I’ have serious issues :nono:
Click to expand...
Your gut is telling you to fallback.
Listen to it. What have you noticed that was off? It could be anything..
 
shortdub78 said:
Your gut is telling you to fallback.
Listen to it. What have you noticed that was off? It could be anything..
Click to expand...

One thing I have noticed he does is that he will call me back to back if I don’t answer, now I know that doesn’t have to mean anything but I find that to be a little bit strange and over-the-top.
The other day I was doing homework and I just watched the phone ring because I didn’t want to be distracted, and then he called me two more times, if it is not an emergency then there’s no reason to blow up my phone like that! I actually ended up answering because of that very reason, and he didn’t want anything, he was just calling me while he had a little bit of free time between heading into his part time job.

Then when I canceled our date the other day and he told me “OK, I will call you and we can discuss it “.

Those are the things that made me feel like he might have a controlling nature.
 
@UniquelyDivine It sounds like your intuition is right on this one.

But let's assume for a moment that your intuition is wrong, and that this is actually a decent dude that you're letting go of. So what? Fear of sending a potentially good one back keeps many of us locked into unfulfilling relationships. Men never have this worry. They let go of amazing, full package women all of the time-- on a whim. How often are guys breaking up with us simply because they aren't feeling it anymore? And we KNOW we're the bomb. These guys have faith that they'll find plenty of other great women. We should operate the same way. In this case, this guy has exhibited at least 2 potential red flags. Your intuition is correct. Men abandon relationships for way less.
 
SurferBabe said:
@UniquelyDivine It sounds like your intuition is right on this one.

But let's assume for a moment that your intuition is wrong, and that this is actually a decent dude that you're letting go of. So what? Fear of sending a potentially good one back keeps many of us locked into unfulfilling relationships. Men never have this worry. They let go of amazing, full package women all of the time-- on a whim. How often are guys breaking up with us simply because they aren't feeling it anymore? And we KNOW we're the bomb. These guys have faith that they'll find plenty of other great women. We should operate the same way. In this case, this guy has exhibited at least 2 potential red flags. Your intuition is correct. Men abandon relationships for way less.
Click to expand...


So so so so true!! I was just talking to my friend about that! How I feel like I have been conditioned to just accept any ol nice guy, just because he is nice, but there might be a lot of things I don’t like about him.
 
This dude got some nerve asking me out again. he asked me out 2 weeks ago and cancelled the day of. Why? He said he was gonna have a 2nd date with someone else he's really excited abouto_O.

So I said, didn' you have a date? How it go? lol. He gave me some long soliloquy about her being a liar. Ok.
Cool. but ninja I'm not going out with you!!!
 
DarkJoy said:
This dude got some nerve asking me out again. he asked me out 2 weeks ago and cancelled the day of. Why? He said he was gonna have a 2nd date with someone else he's really excited abouto_O.

So I said, didn' you have a date? How it go? lol. He gave me some long soliloquy about her being a liar. Ok.
Cool. but ninja I'm not going out with you!!!
Click to expand...

I can't.

I really, really can't. :nono:
 
crlsweetie912 said:
I'm lonely....just venting....
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Yes, being single can be lonely. Since high school, i was always in arelationship. I never really had the chance to be single. Just got out of a relationship and i feel lonely a lot of times. On the other hand, in my last relationship i used to feel lonely because he was a major workaholic. Now im like, heck i can be lonely all by myself. Ive come to the realization that id rather be lonley by myself than in a relationship and lonely.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
One thing I have noticed he does is that he will call me back to back if I don’t answer, now I know that doesn’t have to mean anything but I find that to be a little bit strange and over-the-top.
The other day I was doing homework and I just watched the phone ring because I didn’t want to be distracted, and then he called me two more times, if it is not an emergency then there’s no reason to blow up my phone like that! I actually ended up answering because of that very reason, and he didn’t want anything, he was just calling me while he had a little bit of free time between heading into his part time job.

Then when I canceled our date the other day and he told me “OK, I will call you and we can discuss it “.

Those are the things that made me feel like he might have a controlling nature.
Click to expand...

this actually means a lot. Basically, why aren't you picking up my call? I don't care what you are doing because nothing, not even sickness or death (coz he has no idea why you aren't answering) should keep you from answering MY calls therefore I will keep calling until you realize this.
someone who respects that you are your own person will leave a message and allow you to contact them when YOU are ready.

Years ago I had a nice, attentive, affectionate guy try to burn down our residence twice (the house I shared with a room mate). And he was a pastor, although that means nothing these days. So I know a bit about how these crazy guys can be :nono:.
 
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SurferBabe said:
@UniquelyDivine It sounds like your intuition is right on this one.

But let's assume for a moment that your intuition is wrong, and that this is actually a decent dude that you're letting go of. So what? Fear of sending a potentially good one back keeps many of us locked into unfulfilling relationships. Men never have this worry. They let go of amazing, full package women all of the time-- on a whim. How often are guys breaking up with us simply because they aren't feeling it anymore? And we KNOW we're the bomb. These guys have faith that they'll find plenty of other great women. We should operate the same way. In this case, this guy has exhibited at least 2 potential red flags. Your intuition is correct. Men abandon relationships for way less.
Click to expand...


animated-light-bulb-gif-28.gif
 
Sosoothing said:
this actually means a lot. Basically, why aren't you picking up my call? I don't care what you are doing because nothing, not even sickness or death (coz he has no idea why you aren't answering) should keep you from answering MY calls therefore I will keep calling until you realize this.
someone who respects that you are your own person will leave a message and allow you to contact them when YOU are ready.

Years ago I had a nice, attentive, affectionate guy try to burn down our residence twice (the house I shared with a room mate). And he was a pastor, although that means nothing these days. So I know a bit about how these crazy guys can be :nono:.
Click to expand...

Agreed. I've always looked at this as a red flag.
 
MzLady78 said:
So I'm getting mixed messages about the man situation in the DMV. Outside of here, I'm being told there is shortage of eligible bachelors in that area. And that any man with a job basically thinks he's Obama. :lol:

Honestly, right now I don't care much about that, but eventually I probably will.
Click to expand...
I have encountered the above but I started meeting new men too at the networking functions. It is a mixed pot. I do have to say that any black men about his ish knows he is in demand. You have to get them vulnerable- learn them enough so you can hit a few buttons that have them reflecting on their lives and thinking about future decisions.
I don’t know how old you are but age is a sensitive subject for men over 35. Some of them start feeling societal pressure to settle down. I amplify that in a soft, feminine way...
 
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