*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Have any of y’all ever had a weird feeling about a guy that’s super nice but there is just something that is throwing you off & you can’t figure out what it is?

I’m big on using discernment but at face value he is doing everything right, communicates with me throughout the day, actually calls and doesn’t just text, makes plans & has been nothing but respectful but I feel nothing & I actually get annoyed when I see his calls & texts flash across my notifications.

I’m feeling like I’ have serious issues :nono:
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Have any of y’all ever had a weird feeling about a guy that’s super nice but there is just something that is throwing you off & you can’t figure out what it is?

I’m big on using discernment but at face value he is doing everything right, communicates with me throughout the day, actually calls and doesn’t just text, makes plans & has been nothing but respectful but I feel nothing & I actually get annoyed when I see his calls & texts flash across my notifications.

I’m feeling like I’ have serious issues :nono:
Click to expand...

Throwing you off, like something ain't right about him...if thats ur instinct, ur probably right. I think we as wonen are blessed with the gift of instinct, but a lot of times, we don't want to trust ourselves with our gut feelings. After my last situation, i will always go with my gut for now on.
 
CarmelCupcake said:
Throwing you off, like something ain't right about him...if thats ur instinct, ur probably right. I think we as wonen are blessed with the gift of instinct, but a lot of times, we don't want to trust ourselves with our gut feelings. After my last situation, i will always go with my gut for now on.
Click to expand...
I agree

@UniquelyDivine if you are annoyed because he's being consistent, then that's a problem lol. But If you sense something is off for other reasons, trust your gut. I dropped a "nice guy" when I was living in DC because I felt something was off and he showed his ass! He became verbally abusive and revealed his bitterness, and we didn't even date long
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Have any of y’all ever had a weird feeling about a guy that’s super nice but there is just something that is throwing you off & you can’t figure out what it is?

I’m big on using discernment but at face value he is doing everything right, communicates with me throughout the day, actually calls and doesn’t just text, makes plans & has been nothing but respectful but I feel nothing & I actually get annoyed when I see his calls & texts flash across my notifications.

I’m feeling like I’ have serious issues :nono:
Click to expand...

I sure have. I only dated him because it seemed like the right thing to do and to find out what that feeling was. Dated for a year actually (living in south Texas and there weren’t a lot of black men) he even proposed. I accepted but knew i wouldnt go through with it.

I was cooking dinner at his best friends house for them and his son. I was texting a friend and laughing while cooking. Do you know this guy came in the kitchen and asked what was so funny? I’m like oh so and so just being silly. He asked for my phone so he could see what was so funny?:eh: I was like umm no. He started yelling give me your phone now! We’ve never gone through each other’s phones and i didn’t have anything to hide but i refused. This guy went OFF! Tried to grab my phone and telling me how disrespectful I was and that it’s a guy I was talking to. I gathered my things and left. I was sooo embarrassed and hurt that he acted that way. He would get a bit weird if i mentioned any man around him but never anything alarming.

Leave him alone. You don’t need to find out, your gut knows something is off.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Have any of y’all ever had a weird feeling about a guy that’s super nice but there is just something that is throwing you off & you can’t figure out what it is?

I’m big on using discernment but at face value he is doing everything right, communicates with me throughout the day, actually calls and doesn’t just text, makes plans & has been nothing but respectful but I feel nothing & I actually get annoyed when I see his calls & texts flash across my notifications.

I’m feeling like I’ have serious issues :nono:
Click to expand...

Listen to your gut. It means you know something wrong, it may take time to name it exactly but there's something
 
CarmelCupcake said:
Throwing you off, like something ain't right about him...if thats ur instinct, ur probably right. I think we as wonen are blessed with the gift of instinct, but a lot of times, we don't want to trust ourselves with our gut feelings. After my last situation, i will always go with my gut for now on.
Click to expand...

So true! I’ve struggled with listening to my gut in the past and it has always come back to bite me, with him it’s notning he has said or done but I just feel like something is weird with him. There is something controlling about him but I’ couldn’t even begin to give you an example of why I’ feel that.

sgold04 said:
I agree

@UniquelyDivine if you are annoyed because he's being consistent, then that's a problem lol. But If you sense something is off for other reasons, trust your gut. I dropped a "nice guy" when I was living in DC because I felt something was off and he showed his ass! He became verbally abusive and revealed his bitterness, and we didn't even date long
Click to expand...


I’ was allll for the consistency at first but then something shifted and I’m like ehhhh calm down sir. The one red flag I have noticed is that he goes out, a lot! He’s an older guy and he stays in the young folk spots.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
So true! I’ve struggled with listening to my gut in the past and it has always come back to bite me, with him it’s notning he has said or done but I just feel like something is weird with him. There is something controlling about him but I’ couldn’t even begin to give you an example of why I’ feel that.




I’ was allll for the consistency at first but then something shifted and I’m like ehhhh calm down sir. The one red flag I have noticed is that he goes out, a lot! He’s an older guy and he stays in the young folk spots.
Click to expand...

Trust your gut!!! You aren’t saying he’s boring or he is too nice, you are saying that you “feel” like something is weird about him. Trust it, trust it, trust it! Some guys DO everything right because behind the scenes they are doing bad stuff, doing everything wrong. That’s why I keep saying watch a man’s words, actions, and how you FEEL. All three need to line up in order for you to feel safe. I’d dump him and KIM.

ETA: And sounds like he is a manipulator. You are picking up that he is controlling. He is just very covert, passive aggressive about it. You have good instincts! Trust yourself. Too many men in the world to fool with one that’s giving you bad vibes.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Have any of y’all ever had a weird feeling about a guy that’s super nice but there is just something that is throwing you off & you can’t figure out what it is?

I’m big on using discernment but at face value he is doing everything right, communicates with me throughout the day, actually calls and doesn’t just text, makes plans & has been nothing but respectful but I feel nothing & I actually get annoyed when I see his calls & texts flash across my notifications.

I’m feeling like I’ have serious issues :nono:
Click to expand...
I dated a "nice guy" who had a crazy temper and could get verbally abusive at times. And when I told people about it after the breakup they would say "Not him, he's so nice..."
 
hopeful said:
Trust your gut!!! You aren’t saying he’s boring or he is too nice, you are saying that you “feel” like something is weird about him. Trust it, trust it, trust it! Some guys DO everything right because behind the scenes they are doing bad stuff, doing everything wrong. That’s why I keep saying watch a man’s words, actions, and how you FEEL. All three need to line up in order for you to feel safe. I’d dump him and KIM.

ETA: And sounds like he is a manipulator. You are picking up that he is controlling. He is just very covert, passive aggressive about it. You have good instincts! Trust yourself. Too many men in the world to fool with one that’s giving you bad vibes.
Click to expand...

So so so true, a part of me feels like I’ve been conditioned to accept the “nice guy” despite this weird feeling I have about him but I’m going to let him know the deal today.

No point in wasting any more time.


sgold04 said:
:naughty: Red flag for me too. Is this the guy who wanted to "call and discuss" your cancelation?
Click to expand...

Yes! That really rubbed me the wrong way, I felt like he was going to chastise & scold me about it.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
So so so true, a part of me feels like I’ve been conditioned to accept the “nice guy” despite this weird feeling I have about him but I’m going to let him know the deal today.

No point in wasting any more time.




Yes! That really rubbed me the wrong way, I felt like he was going to chastise & scold me about it.
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Good! And remember you don’t have to explain anything to him. You just tell it like it is. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You deserve to feel safe and happy. I would just tell him it isn’t going to work out and I wished him well and bye. Guys like him are good at twisting your words and trying to guilt you for not appreciating them. And do it in whatever way feels best for you, even if it’s via text or email :look:. Then block him:). You don’t have to be nice. You have to take good care of YOU, that’s it.
 
sarumoki said:
I dated a "nice guy" who had a crazy temper and could get verbally abusive at times. And when I told people about it after the breakup they would say "Not him, he's so nice..."
Click to expand...

Women can easily be fooled by “niceness.” But anybody can be nice. Nice is not a character trait. A serial killer can be nice. Sometimes being nice is just a tactic, a form of manipulation, a means to an end.
 
Flourishnikov said:
Does anyone have any experience "dating" a sagittarian introvert? Asking for a friend :look:
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8qx0O.gif


:lol:
 
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