*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

So, when I found out I got a job on another island, I expanded my Match.com profile to reach as far as Kauai, which is where my new job is located. I met what I thought was a really cool guy and we'd been talking and texting for the last 6 or 7 weeks. A few days ago, he just stopped responding to my calls and texts. Usually, we've gone no more than a day without at least saying "hello" and "how was your day", but usually we texted frequently throughout the day. Lots of flirting, talking about our lives, what's going on in the state, complaining about work, etc. I sent one text a day asking where he was for 3 days, and then I got scared. I remembered that he's on Twitter, so I checked it and he's been active for the last few days.

I sent a text saying that if he didn't want to talk to me, then I respected that, but at least let me know because I don't like to be left hanging (I have issues with being abandoned - had to go to therapy for it). He didn't respond, so I blocked him. That's my standard procedure for men who ghost me as they tend to sneak back in my life when they get super-lonely and pretend like ghosting me was no big deal. I'm a tad hurt because I thought we clicked, but it is what it is.

The issue is that I'm due to start my jobs in 3 weeks and he works in my building. Not on the same floor, but the building is quite small (like everything on Kauai). I'd honestly rather not talk to him at all since I find ghosting to be disrespectful. I'm not sure how much I should acknowledging I should do when we come across each other. Advice?
 
MzLady78 said:
Ugh, sorry @Enyo. Like you, I have abandonment issues, so disappearing is one of the worst things you can do to me.
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I'm glad someone understands that feeling. I get tired of people saying it's no big deal or don't worry about it. It hurts to think you're not worth two sentences letting you know you don't want to talk even though you're worried about them or are confused.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
I am trying to lose weight and save money too and all my friends want to do is go eat and drink:mad:
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This was my friend's for a while, but then they realized the only way to see me was to plan an early morning or late night cardio session. I did go to happy hour tonight with my old boss, did well on food...but prolly drank a whole bottle of Pinot hehe
 
UniquelyDivine said:
You should definitely check Dallas out! Where are you moving to?

I’ve lost 25lbs since I’ve been here but I rarely workout so I need to at least get out the house and go to the gym.

Ohh your travel schedule is lit :toocool: and weddings are always clutch for meeting potentials boo’s.
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25 pounds and no working out?
D66520BA-A9BE-4F4F-8F79-22CE69E08C9C.gif

Ima be a nomad for a few months. I'll stay in the Bay and Atl for about 6 months total. Have some side trips to nola, DC and NYC for a few weeks at a time. As of now I don't have a "final" destination, most likely Atl, but I'm open (my job is remote so I can live anywhere stateside). A lot of my east coast faves have moved to LA and the Bay, so I might make it back home to Cali permanently...but I'm not quite ready for that. I know I'll settle in SoCal eventually because of my parents, but I wanted to bring a bae with me.
 
Hey... what's crackin for Halloween? Parties should be happening this weekend.

I was invited to one but nahh... rather just sit with my other set of friends without the hooplah at the dinner table

Will be trick or treating Halloween night with the kiddo... her dad is coming with his gf:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Oh, the antics with the ex in-laws and her. Great granny too old to pretend like she likes the former side piece turned SO :look: . The aunts are just as... catty. Got it from their mom :lachen:! Itll make it soooooooo worth it. :toocool: Trick or treat indeed....:giggle: (pettypettypettypetty)

They still shower me with love tho :2inlove:
 
Enyo said:
So, when I found out I got a job on another island, I expanded my Match.com profile to reach as far as Kauai, which is where my new job is located. I met what I thought was a really cool guy and we'd been talking and texting for the last 6 or 7 weeks. A few days ago, he just stopped responding to my calls and texts. Usually, we've gone no more than a day without at least saying "hello" and "how was your day", but usually we texted frequently throughout the day. Lots of flirting, talking about our lives, what's going on in the state, complaining about work, etc. I sent one text a day asking where he was for 3 days, and then I got scared. I remembered that he's on Twitter, so I checked it and he's been active for the last few days.

I sent a text saying that if he didn't want to talk to me, then I respected that, but at least let me know because I don't like to be left hanging (I have issues with being abandoned - had to go to therapy for it). He didn't respond, so I blocked him. That's my standard procedure for men who ghost me as they tend to sneak back in my life when they get super-lonely and pretend like ghosting me was no big deal. I'm a tad hurt because I thought we clicked, but it is what it is.

The issue is that I'm due to start my jobs in 3 weeks and he works in my building. Not on the same floor, but the building is quite small (like everything on Kauai). I'd honestly rather not talk to him at all since I find ghosting to be disrespectful. I'm not sure how much I should acknowledging I should do when we come across each other. Advice?
Click to expand...

I'd completely ignore him unless he says something first. If he speaks first, then I'd give a real brief, dry "Hi, how are you?" (don't wait for his response) and keep it moving. No need to waste even a tiny bit of energy if you'd rather not talk to him and he ghosted you.
 
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Damaris.Elle said:
I'd completely ignore him unless he says something first. If he speaks first, then I'd give a real brief, dry "Hi, how are you?" (don't wait for his response) and keep it moving. No need to waste even a tiny bit of energy if you'd rather not talk to him and he ghosted you.
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I wouldn’t even speak to him! @Enyo act like a ghost buster and just keep it moving.
 
shespoison said:
My weekend was interesting but also pretty amazing. I went to an art show in BK alone. It was a bunch of beautiful, big booty black women with natural hair.

The artist spoke and a lot of things she said resonated with me. I was so glad I came out cuz a girl was tired.

I headed up to Harlem afterwards to see my friend perform. I got there a bit early and a film was playing it was really entertaining and the discussion afterwards was inspiring.

The filmmaker knew my friend who I was coming to watch...I guess he was talking about me to him because later on in the evening he approached me.

He says, “so, you’re african american?” I say yes and he’s like “wow, the real deal!”

I’m still not sure what he meant by that but he’s Congolese and it was his first time in the U.S.

I left and went to my regular spot...and who do I see? Physician bae...with his intern. He introduced me and I talked to her a bit while he bought us both drinks :rolleyes:

Then I left them and danced with a sexy man out of spite. 5 mins later, he’s walking out with his intern. At this point I’m ready to leave and somehow he’s back in the place again but alone. He stops me to talk but I tell him my Lyft is outside and bounce.

Sunday I went to a poetry event at the museum of sex. An associate was the organizer and I’m a fan of the featured poet so I was excited to attend. It was flipping amazing. Anyway, towards the end I see crush bae out of the corner of my eye...I pretend not to see him. When it is over he comes to me and I almost don’t know what to do with myself. Id like to believe he came because he saw me post from my ig story...but it could be because our mutual friend was performing. I ended up going out to eat with him and the crew.

He tried to set up a lunch date today but out schedules ain’t matching up.

Sorry so long but my friends are tired of me so y’all have to “listen” to me say a bunch of nothing.
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I’m not tired! Sounds like a lot of fun and someone enjoying the single life. I didn’t do that too much. Sounds so fun to just get up and go to different events, not be attached, and just being free..
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
This is a good tip. I have it bundled with my auto insurance right now and it's too high IMO.

Think I am going to dress up to go to the kiddie Halloween thing with DS. I will probably like it more than him LOL!
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I’m not dressing up this year, but I’m excited to go to the Halloween party with my kids too. When we get back home, I wanna bake cookies and watch a scary movie with them.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
:laugh: I’m on a Dr supervised program, it’s basically just eating low carb & they prescribe appetite suppressants. I took the lazy way out but something had to give, I was a cheeseburger away :nono:
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Lol, no judgement here. I did the same thing, but I stopped the appetite suppressants at the same time my summer travel ramped up...and I gained a lot back. I'm doing keto now (just started this week) and so far so good.
 
sgold04 said:
Lol, no judgement here. I did the same thing, but I stopped the appetite suppressants at the same time my summer travel ramped up...and I gained a lot back. I'm doing keto now (just started this week) and so far so good.
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Yea it’s getting to the point where I’ll have to stop the pills because my body is getting used to them so I’m working on incorporating working out back into my life before I stop the pills.


Out of alllll the diets I’ve ever tried in my life keto has been consistently the best!


Why is losing weight so freaking hard :(:mad:
 
Interview Bae’s homeboy is a party promoter and he invited me to a event he’s throwing in Dallas next weekend :look:

He’s a huge social media dude so I plan on being posted up in all his pictures and videos.

keeping-up-with-the-kardashians-opening-sequence.gif
 
DarkJoy said:
Hey... what's crackin for Halloween? Parties should be happening this weekend.

I was invited to one but nahh... rather just sit with my other set of friends without the hooplah at the dinner table

Will be trick or treating Halloween night with the kiddo... her dad is coming with his gf:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Oh, the antics with the ex in-laws and her. Great granny too old to pretend like she likes the former side piece turned SO :look: . The aunts are just as... catty. Got it from their mom :lachen:! Itll make it soooooooo worth it. :toocool: Trick or treat indeed....:giggle: (pettypettypettypetty)

They still shower me with love tho :2inlove:
Click to expand...

Halloween Town in Oakland is $5 and you get games, face painting, trick or treating etc. If you have DD Saturday!
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Yea it’s getting to the point where I’ll have to stop the pills because my body is getting used to them so I’m working on incorporating working out back into my life before I stop the pills.


Out of alllll the diets I’ve ever tried in my life keto has been consistently the best!


Why is losing weight so freaking hard :(:mad:
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How did ya'll get the appetite suppressants? I need all the help I can get LOL
 
shortdub78 said:
I’m so sick of those! Lol we are gonna watch the Omen, or The Mist. Something that isn’t too out there for them. I watched a ton of horror movies when I was their age, but these kids are different! Lol
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yes they are really soft :look:

I mean I watched the original The Thing in '78 or 79 in the theaters. I was like 6. lol! same with hellraiser. these movies aren't even that scary these days.
 
DarkJoy said:
Hey... what's crackin for Halloween? Parties should be happening this weekend.

I was invited to one but nahh... rather just sit with my other set of friends without the hooplah at the dinner table

Will be trick or treating Halloween night with the kiddo... her dad is coming with his gf:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Oh, the antics with the ex in-laws and her. Great granny too old to pretend like she likes the former side piece turned SO :look: . The aunts are just as... catty. Got it from their mom :lachen:! Itll make it soooooooo worth it. :toocool: Trick or treat indeed....:giggle: (pettypettypettypetty)

They still shower me with love tho :2inlove:
Click to expand...

I'm going to my friend's Halloween party this weekend dressed up as a genie :bdance:
I didn't dress up or do anything at all last year, so I want to have fun this year! I'm hoping I can find another party to also go to this weekend. It'd be a shame to put effort into my costume to only wear it one time this year. I've even been working on my abs for the past few weeks so that I'll look good in my little top lol.
 
@Enyo

I agree with everyone who says you should ignore him. He had no respect for you and couldn't even let you know he wasn't interested anymore, so why should you care about being respectful towards him?
If anything, considering the circumstances, speaking to him first will make you look desperate.
 
Crush bae is causing me anxiety. He planned a trip to London to see some chick before we started hanging out. He told me and I appreciate it but it pisses me off.

I have no right to be pissed but it’s just how I feel. I’d rather him leave me alone than wait for him to come back and be in love or conflicted. I want him to just leave me out of the equation even though I’m prematurely in luh with him.

He’s so level headed and patient that I want to slap him! Ugh! I’m just gonna go out with the fine ass dude I’ve know since middle school and waste my time letting him treat me like a quain.


Maybe when I sober up I’ll have a better hold on things. Right now I hate his guts.
 
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