*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

rafikichick92 said:
Gosh, it’s hard to lean back sometimes!!
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It's so fun tho! Especially if he's a simple man. I get results with my SO almost immediately he's so dumb :lol: The easiest way is through texts (well for us, cuz that's our main form of communication). I ask a lot of questions, to everyone. My girl friends say its annoying, so I know I really annoy SO with this. I know this, been knew it. So sometimes he does the typical 'won't respond to everything I texted/pick and choose'. Classic 'I'm annoyed' ish lol. So ill basically stop texting him anything at all, unless I'm responding to him (and I don't respond at all when I feel the convo has ended). I won't ask him anything nor will I initiate any conversations. And sometimes i take hours to respond. But I'm always very nice when I do respond.

After like 2 days of this, he'll start texting me things he usually doesn't like telling me about his day (I never ever ask him about his day, randomly. Cuz idc, so I'm like why you tellin me this lol), pics of the food he's cooking (abnormal af), funny memes (abnormal), using lots of filler words and speech (whet?), using exclaim and question marks (when he asks questions via text, he usually doesn't use question marks), randomly paypaling me small sums of cash and stuff. If we see each other while I'm doing this, he'll bring me stuff he usually wouldn't, he'll look for events that he knows I like to go to (and sometimes I say thanks I'm gonna go by myself you're not invited lol).

And I really don't think he knows what's going on, cuz I feel like if he did, he would just accept the break I'm giving him without acting like an obsessive girlfriend :lol:

This actually may be more passive aggressive/manipulative than 'leaning back', Idk, I haven't read that much on it (I'm bored rn, so ill go do that). But whatever, it gets good results lol.

Dumb and simple are great qualities in a man, imo. So I'm not saying bad things about my SO, au contraire. he's great :2inlove:
 
hopeful said:
See the following threads. In them these dating/relationship gurus encourage women to lean back when a guy leans back. When a lady likes a guy who has been showing interest, and he starts to pull away or fall back, women tend to lean in, trying to recapture his attention and interest. They suggest that you lean back too, mirroring his behavior and level of interest. It’s the only way to see if he’s really interested. Also if/when he leans back, and you lean in, it sets a pattern of the woman pursuing. Someone correct me please if I’m explaining this incorrectly.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/katarina-phangs-dating-philosophy.820571/

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/the-rori-raye-way.819909/
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This is weird to me. Why would you want to talk to/be around someone whose interest seems to be waning? Like ok bye. ??

Even when in a relationship...i still don't want to be bothered when he acting dumb. Byeeeeee :lol:

(Again, this may not be healthy. Idk what I'm doing, just giving my opinion lol)
 
qchelle said:
This is weird to me. Why would you want to talk to/be around someone whose interest seems to be waning? Like ok bye. ??

Even when in a relationship...i still don't want to be bothered when he acting dumb. Byeeeeee :lol:

(Again, this may not be healthy. Idk what I'm doing, just giving my opinion lol)
Click to expand...

I wonder what would happen if he realized what you were doing? Would it still work?

But I think it’s great that you naturally lean back. You are lucky.
 
This go round of online dating, specifically OkCupid is weird..and funny. I can't take this stuff seriously at all :lol:

- Guys who send messages with the winky face emoji all. the.time. Even for the most pedestrian of messages. Wut. Stahp.

- Had a date last Sunday. It went well enough but didn't hear from him. Cool. Got a message today from him that he saw me in the neighbourhood and asked how as my week. Record scratch. Ship done sailed, dude.

- OKC has a bunch of questions to answer and one is, "Would you seriously date someone 1/2 your age?". Answer should be NO for people in our age range (Late 20s/early 30s). Duh. Guys who answer 'yes' to that though? o_O Goodbye sir(s).
 
Was just asked to cook for a new guy- my response “lol funny”. After three of those he hit me with “I am serious”.
My response- “who are you for me to be cooking for”. His response - “your new boo”. Uh no- I require many dates before we get to boo status and you have yet to take me out on one. So I hit him back with- “lol you are HILARIOUS”
He is 38... smh.
 
qchelle said:
It's so fun tho! Especially if he's a simple man. I get results with my SO almost immediately he's so dumb :lol: The easiest way is through texts (well for us, cuz that's our main form of communication). I ask a lot of questions, to everyone. My girl friends say its annoying, so I know I really annoy SO with this. I know this, been knew it. So sometimes he does the typical 'won't respond to everything I texted/pick and choose'. Classic 'I'm annoyed' ish lol. So ill basically stop texting him anything at all, unless I'm responding to him (and I don't respond at all when I feel the convo has ended). I won't ask him anything nor will I initiate any conversations. And sometimes i take hours to respond. But I'm always very nice when I do respond.

After like 2 days of this, he'll start texting me things he usually doesn't like telling me about his day (I never ever ask him about his day, randomly. Cuz idc, so I'm like why you tellin me this lol), pics of the food he's cooking (abnormal af), funny memes (abnormal), using lots of filler words and speech (whet?), using exclaim and question marks (when he asks questions via text, he usually doesn't use question marks), randomly paypaling me small sums of cash and stuff. If we see each other while I'm doing this, he'll bring me stuff he usually wouldn't, he'll look for events that he knows I like to go to (and sometimes I say thanks I'm gonna go by myself you're not invited lol).

And I really don't think he knows what's going on, cuz I feel like if he did, he would just accept the break I'm giving him without acting like an obsessive girlfriend :lol:

This actually may be more passive aggressive/manipulative than 'leaning back', Idk, I haven't read that much on it (I'm bored rn, so ill go do that). But whatever, it gets good results lol.

Dumb and simple are great qualities in a man, imo. So I'm not saying bad things about my SO, au contraire. he's great :2inlove:
Click to expand...

I feel you, but I’m very OCD and organized and a planner and he is NOT. So sometimes I just want to KNOW and PLAN. But to his credit, he always pulls through and he’s very thoughtful, just not always on my timeline.
 
tocktick said:
This go round of online dating, specifically OkCupid is weird..and funny. I can't take this stuff seriously at all :lol:

- Guys who send messages with the winky face emoji all. the.time. Even for the most pedestrian of messages. Wut. Stahp.

- Had a date last Sunday. It went well enough but didn't hear from him. Cool. Got a message today from him that he saw me in the neighbourhood and asked how as my week. Record scratch. Ship done sailed, dude.

- OKC has a bunch of questions to answer and one is, "Would you seriously date someone 1/2 your age?". Answer should be NO for people in our age range (Late 20s/early 30s). Duh. Guys who answer 'yes' to that though? o_O Goodbye sir(s).
Click to expand...

:lol: When I was on there I could tell if a man was serious or not by the age range he specified. Guys who leave it at the default (18-99) aren't serious. 30-35 year old men who are open to dating women under 25 aren't serious. If you are 40+, your minimum age range should start at 30 or older.

Just a mess!
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Mine too. The sad thing is I have no desire to replenish it, it was overflowing there for minute but I stopped responding to people because none of them were exciting or interesting to me.
Click to expand...

I know exactly how you feel!!! I dont have the energy nor do I feel like expending the effort to even go out and recruit. However, its getting cold here so I kinda want to be cuffed.
 
Just when I find someone I like...here comes this man I’ve known for 20 years.

He has been reaching out to me and I finally found sometime on Saturday to hang with him and we had a blast. He said some of the kindest things any man has ever said to me. He was more intelligent and sweet than I remember him being.

I thought I was ready to throw in the towel but I think it may be wiser to keep them both around until an official commitment.

As much as I’m feeling “crush” bae I still don’t know that ninja like that.
 
Filipino bae is trippin. He keeps trying to make these **** last minute plans. He just sent a message about 2 hours ago saying "Let's chill" and he's done this three times in the past 5 days. I didn't respond to his text tonight. I've told him before (nicely) to make plans ahead of time. Two of the times he's texted me have been after 9pm. I think he's trying to get me to deliver the booty and it's not happening. He will get absolutely NO booty until he plans things better.
 
I ran into my old college crush last night and him is still fine as frogs hair. I was legit infatuated with this man all throughout my time at Howard and even made him a mixtape CD with a bunch of love songs that THANK GOD I never worked up the courage to give him. LOL Since he stayed in a relationship, I just kept my crush to myself, but my senior year we finally exchanged numbers at a party. However, I think he was already dating his would be wife, because his FB status changed shortly afterwards and we never exchanged more than a few texts. Anywhoo, we ended up talking while we were waiting for our friends to arrive and he offered to buy me a drink. He's a very devoted husband and father now and while Im still just as single as I was when I pined for him, I am content with the fact that he is not my person and wish him well.
 
So I went out last night with my home girls brother and it was actually pretty cool.

I went straight after work to his place and he took us to Manhattan Beach to walk and talk. Lol the car was a straight bucket (like made sounds and all) hahahaha.
But the conversation was cool like just catching up, then we grabbed some food at a bar by the beach all in all cool.

I need to find us some plans for this weekend……..
 
Ok so Classic Man went to NOLA for friend's birthday party last weekend. I don't have a problem but he didn't tell me. In fact I wouldn't have known if I didn't text him to find out how he's doing with the smoke from the wildfires and he says "great. I'm in New Orleans." Especially after mentioning what he wants to do for our next date, coulda let a woman know. o_O No we are not exclusive yet but we've been out enough times and communicate regularly enough to where he could've told me, I feel. Especially since this was planned back in August. He lives alone so maybe he's not used to telling people his plans. :ohwell:

I had dinner with my married BFF last week and it was so needed. We're both oldest daughters close with our sisters and many of the differences between me and Classic Man she deals with with her husband.
 
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:lol:
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
Ok so Classic Man went to NOLA for friend's birthday party last weekend. I don't have a problem but he didn't tell me. In fact I wouldn't have known if I didn't text him to find out how he's doing with the smoke from the wildfires and he says "great. I'm in New Orleans." Especially after mentioning what he wants to do for our next date, coulda let a woman know. o_O No we are not exclusive yet but we've been out enough times and communicate regularly enough to where he could've told me, I feel. Especially since this was planned back in August. He lives alone so maybe he's not used to telling people his plans. :ohwell:

I had dinner with my married BFF last week and it was so needed. We're both oldest daughters close with our sisters and many of the differences between me and Classic Man she deals with with her husband.
Click to expand...

Lean back and make him chase. Be unavailable next time he wants to see you. Are you dating other men? Line up a couple of dates when he's not around. He should be competing with other men for your time.
 
greight said:
Honestly if I were a dude, even if I met these requirements, I would immediately think she isn't fun plus she also doesn't have any real standards outside of race.
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I agree. I wanted to know so I could post my opinion delicately. lol I assumed it was a guy's profile though. Either way I don't understand why people post stuff like this on dating profiles. It makes no sense. Of course you'll get people you don't like, stupid people, trolls, etc. It's all about the numbers. Pay attention to the ones you like and ignore the rest. Writing something out like this not only makes the person look like they take themselves too seriously and don't care if they're turning off their potential match but a profile like this is just inviting trolls.
 
ugh this guy from ancient times message me today to apologize for a terrible first (and last) date. we had 1 date maybe in January? February? and he was waayyyyyyy to old looking. like decrepit. and the date was terrible. like all he talked about was his adult children and whatever... AND iirc, this dude could barely walk! he wasn't obese but had some hip problem and could hardly get up out the seat! i promptly text him afterward tgat it was a no-go and good luck.

He said I am "a bit of a princess." lol. what's that even mean?! curious the impression i make from a mans perspective. imma ask him... and not talk to him again after the response :look:
 
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This guy I'm talking to on Match is really nice. We've talked on the phone once and he seems cool. Not to mention he is so good looking! Problem is, he has children and I really really really don't want to date a man with kids. Am I being unreasonable? Missing out on decent men because of this requirement? I realize if I'm still single in another couple of years then I may have to rethink this but right now? I'm not feeling dating a dude with kids.
 
KammyGirl said:
This guy I'm talking to on Match is really nice. We've talked on the phone once and he seems cool. Not to mention he is so good looking! Problem is, he has children and I really really really don't want to date a man with kids. Am I being unreasonable? Missing out on decent men because of this requirement? I realize if I'm still single in another couple of years then I may have to rethink this but right now? I'm not feeling dating a dude with kids.
Click to expand...

I don't think you're being unreasonable if dating a man with kids is a deal breaker. What I like to do is think about the things that are nice to haves and qualities that I am not willing to compromise on. Is having a man who has no kids a nice to have or is it a deal breaker for you?

I'm also one of those who believes that you should practice dating. If a guy meets most of my qualifications but my not be my ideal guy I still go out with him. This allows me to practice my dating skills and also gives me more confidence in knowing what I want or don't want in a man. You can get to know him and still continue dating men with no kids. ;)
 
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