*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed my trip :yep:. I was just there to enjoy some solitude but I ended up with a couple of vacay flings :look:. I didn't sleep with anyone, but I cuddled with two different men (kissed 3 in all) and it reminded me of how much I miss intimacy. It's crazy how much luck I have in Canada when it comes to men. Everywhere I turn there is some mutual attraction and it feels natural. The guys are drawn to the same thing that seems to repel the men down here. Back home it is a struggle in every way. I also spent 2 days in Buffalo, NY and the brothers there are FINE. Lawd, what is in the water? Location is everything.
 
SurferBabe said:
I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed my trip :yep:. I was just there to enjoy some solitude but I ended up with a couple of vacay flings :look:. I didn't sleep with anyone, but I cuddled with two different men (kissed 3 in all) and it reminded me of how much I miss intimacy. It's crazy how much luck I have in Canada when it comes to men. Everywhere I turn there is some mutual attraction and it feels natural. The guys are drawn to the same thing that seems to repel the men down here. Back home it is a struggle in every way. I also spent 2 days in Buffalo, NY and the brothers there are FINE. Lawd, what is in the water? Location is everything.
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So do tell--what are the canadian attractants vs american repellants? that's a big detail to miss!

Glad you had fun and got some smooches :lol:
 
Ladies I hope you all do not count out construction workers. The union I work for just raised their earnings to 100.96/hr and they have a great benefits package with two pension plans & an annuity fund. If you meet a man and he says he's in construction ask what union :lol: About to get me a union worker cause I need these benefits for the rest of my life.
 
SlimPickinz said:
Ladies I hope you all do not count out construction workers. The union I work for just raised their earnings to 100.96/hr and they have a great benefits package with two pension plans & an annuity fund. If you meet a man and he says he's in construction ask what union :lol: About to get me a union worker cause I need these benefits for the rest of my life.
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What union should we be looking for?
 
SlimPickinz said:
Ladies I hope you all do not count out construction workers. The union I work for just raised their earnings to 100.96/hr and they have a great benefits package with two pension plans & an annuity fund. If you meet a man and he says he's in construction ask what union :lol: About to get me a union worker cause I need these benefits for the rest of my life.
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You are correct. But the blue collar/labor intensive job conversations are ones I don't bother with around here. At work, I use dozens of contractors/blue collar employees for the properties I manage. Not only do they make more than me, they have stay at home wives, and some even live in the posh neighborhoods we manage :lol: For whatever people always turn this into why do black women always have to date the trash man :rolleyes:
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
Oh OK. So once we find out which union they are from, how do we find out what the salary and benefits are? Is it listed on their union site? I'm in NYC.
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Ask to see their CBA because you’re interested in a family member joining. You have to be slick in finding out that information. If you ask straight out they will assume you are digging for gold.
 
SuchaLady said:
You are correct. But the blue collar/labor intensive job conversations are ones I don't bother with around here. At work, I use dozens of contractors/blue collar employees for the properties I manage. Not only do they make more than me, they have stay at home wives, and some even live in the posh neighborhoods we manage :lol: For whatever people always turn this into why do black women always have to date the trash man :rolleyes:
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Girl, they’re taking home 95K before overtime & no degree. Some of the members don’t even work in the field, they work in the office but they get full wages.
 
SlimPickinz said:
Ladies I hope you all do not count out construction workers. The union I work for just raised their earnings to 100.96/hr and they have a great benefits package with two pension plans & an annuity fund. If you meet a man and he says he's in construction ask what union :lol: About to get me a union worker cause I need these benefits for the rest of my life.
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Oh???
giphy.gif



Let me find out I need to catcall some construction workers


giphy.gif
 
My ex-fiancé’s homeboy just sent me a text....and he text me last week talking about he was right around the corner from my house :spinning: and got mad when I asked if he had the wrong #.


Mind you I haven’t spoken to this dude since I was a natural blond......I don’t recall giving him my new # or telling him where I live.
 
SuchaLady said:
You are correct. But the blue collar/labor intensive job conversations are ones I don't bother with around here. At work, I use dozens of contractors/blue collar employees for the properties I manage. Not only do they make more than me, they have stay at home wives, and some even live in the posh neighborhoods we manage :lol: For whatever people always turn this into why do black women always have to date the trash man :rolleyes:
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That’s why folks gotta take advice from certain people with a grain of salt. A man with a trade, license, and certification is alright with me.
 
SurferBabe said:
I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed my trip :yep:. I was just there to enjoy some solitude but I ended up with a couple of vacay flings :look:. I didn't sleep with anyone, but I cuddled with two different men (kissed 3 in all) and it reminded me of how much I miss intimacy. It's crazy how much luck I have in Canada when it comes to men. Everywhere I turn there is some mutual attraction and it feels natural. The guys are drawn to the same thing that seems to repel the men down here. Back home it is a struggle in every way. I also spent 2 days in Buffalo, NY and the brothers there are FINE. Lawd, what is in the water? Location is everything.
Click to expand...
When I was in Toronto, I had like 50 tinder matches in time it took for me to ride the train from the airport into the city and check into my hotel. It was crazy
 
DarkJoy said:
So do tell--what are the canadian attractants vs american repellants? that's a big detail to miss!

Glad you had fun and got some smooches :lol:
Click to expand...

Thanks!

I can't quite put my finger on it but I find that American men like women they can "figure out". If you don't fit into a box, they might be fascinated by you, but they have a hard time connecting with you. They have types-- bougie, girly, nerdy, tomboy, artsy, rebel, etc... There is little room to be a mixture of those types or someone unable to be labeled. Outside of the states, the men seem more attracted to women who go their own way. The men are more educated and adventurous, so they welcome the challenge of getting to know unique women. American culture is more serious-- we like formulas, traditions, and rituals. We go for brands, we follow trends, and everything in our lives must make sense. We are slow to accept change and innovation. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense but I feel like in the states alpha males are celebrated while in other places I see more sigmas making waves.

gimbap said:
When I was in Toronto, I had like 50 tinder matches in time it took for me to ride the train from the airport into the city and check into my hotel. It was crazy
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I be trying to tell y'all! :lachen:
 
SurferBabe said:
Thanks!

I can't quite put my finger on it but I find that American men like women they can "figure out". If you don't fit into a box, they might be fascinated by you, but they have a hard time connecting with you. They have types-- bougie, girly, nerdy, tomboy, artsy, rebel, etc... There is little room to be a mixture of those types or someone unable to be labeled. Outside of the states, the men seem more attracted to women who go their own way. The men are more educated and adventurous, so they welcome the challenge of getting to know unique women. American culture is more serious-- we like formulas, traditions, and rituals. We go for brands, we follow trends, and everything in our lives must make sense. We are slow to accept change and innovation. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense but I feel like in the states alpha males are celebrated while in other places I see more sigmas making waves.



I be trying to tell y'all! :lachen:
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Thank you. I can see it. Non American men are looking for easiest angle from Point A to Point P :rolleyes: many lose patience if you would rather unfold the possibilities rather than bust it open.

Dated a couple non-Americans but Western culture raised and the courting was easier and less stressful and no game playing, "I want a relationship with you, let's do this," and they SHOW and PROVE. They're not in competition with you, not having a bunch of subtext and are more respectful of "not yet."
 
SurferBabe said:
I can't quite put my finger on it but I find that American men like women they can "figure out" They have types-- bougie, girly, nerdy, tomboy, artsy, rebel, etc... There is little room to be a mixture of those types or someone unable to be labeled. Outside of the states, the men seem more attracted to women who go their own way. The men are more educated and adventurous, so they welcome the challenge of getting to know unique women. American culture is more serious-- we like formulas, traditions, and rituals.
Click to expand...


Interesting. I heard pretty much this exact thing from a French friend of mine currently living in the U.S. In her words, she felt that she was more boxed into some narrow type. The idea that as a woman she could be multiple things, even if seemingly "contradictory", was accepted in France but not in America.
 
I had a date tonight and I had a nice time but I was so bored. We went to a bar/restaurant, had a couple drinks, had some food. We talked and he was nice enough but somewhere toward the end of the meal I started to feel like...idk...the feeling was basically "ok, this was cool but I'm finished now". He noticed I was getting quiet and I perked up because I didn't want to make him feel bad. After that we went to another cool spot and had another drink. We talked some more and he was very sweet but again kind of boring. I just wasn't feeling it. Every time I noticed I was slumping like I was bored or my mind started wandering I would sit up straight and try to refocus.

I was really trying to stay present so I could try some tips and tricks on him. You know like practicing ways to ask the important questions without coming on too strong, gauge his thoughts/feelings about things that are important to me should we decide to date. Once I practiced a few rounds and got the answers that I wanted (all positive responses btw) I grew bored. And I had already eaten so yeah...

After I finished my drink at the second place I actually said "jeez, I'm getting kind of tired. Maybe we should call it a night?" I was embarrassed that I used an excuse to get away but he didn't take it the wrong way. He agreed and said I should be tired and he was just happy that I kept the date even after the day I had. See how sweet that is? lol I got home around 11. 11pm! On a Friday night! In a nutshell it was difficult and I didn't like the feeling. He didn't do anything wrong but I already know that I'm not about that it can grow into something kick that I used to be about. I don't need unrealistic sparks, earth moving, soul connection at first sight (even though it would be nice) but I know what's what and this isn't it.

I would like for the roster I build this go around to be of men that I actually have to choose between. Not just 3 guys I know I don't want and am using to keep me from acting a fool around the 4th because he's the only one I really want. There's nothing wrong with that. I just want more proper potentials to choose from.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
What do y’all mean?
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See the following threads. In them these dating/relationship gurus encourage women to lean back when a guy leans back. When a lady likes a guy who has been showing interest, and he starts to pull away or fall back, women tend to lean in, trying to recapture his attention and interest. They suggest that you lean back too, mirroring his behavior and level of interest. It’s the only way to see if he’s really interested. Also if/when he leans back, and you lean in, it sets a pattern of the woman pursuing. Someone correct me please if I’m explaining this incorrectly.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/katarina-phangs-dating-philosophy.820571/

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/the-rori-raye-way.819909/
 
hopeful said:
See the following threads. In them these dating/relationship gurus encourage women to lean back when a guy leans back. When a lady likes a guy who has been showing interest, and he starts to pull away or fall back, women tend to lean in, trying to recapture his attention and interest. They suggest that you lean back too, mirroring his behavior and level of interest. It’s the only way to see if he’s really interested. Also if/when he leans back, and you lean in, it sets a pattern of the woman pursuing. Someone correct me please if I’m explaining this incorrectly.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/katarina-phangs-dating-philosophy.820571/

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/the-rori-raye-way.819909/
Click to expand...

Yup!! This is it exactly!
 
hopeful said:
See the following threads. In them these dating/relationship gurus encourage women to lean back when a guy leans back. When a lady likes a guy who has been showing interest, and he starts to pull away or fall back, women tend to lean in, trying to recapture his attention and interest. They suggest that you lean back too, mirroring his behavior and level of interest. It’s the only way to see if he’s really interested. Also if/when he leans back, and you lean in, it sets a pattern of the woman pursuing. Someone correct me please if I’m explaining this incorrectly.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/katarina-phangs-dating-philosophy.820571/

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/the-rori-raye-way.819909/
Click to expand...




Ahhhhh I understand! Makes perfect sense
 
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