*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

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God bless ya @UniquelyDivine
 
Ugh! Why does the universe keep trying to force me to get snapchat?!

Enty-way. I'm on a dating hiatus, but I don't think it's healthy based on what I want in my life. I've reached a point where I don't think a man who would strike my fancy exists in this city, but that can't be numerically true, right? Rhetorical question, I don't care enough to play the numbers game. I feel hella elitist but whatever, deez ninjas is dumb af and I'm not gonna bother "putting myself out there". I don't even wanna sleep with my cut buddy anymore, and he's amazing. My lease is up in June, but I can move anytime (I befriended the leasing agent in my building during Harvey and he'll let me break my lease if I want, or I can transfer to another property in another state). The only thing holding me back is the financial plan I set for myself several months ago. Moving costs a lot, and I'm saving up for a car so I'm not trying to disrupt my financial flow, but I also feel like I'm wasting my time here. I'm rambling :/
 
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sgold04 said:
Ugh! Why does the universe keep trying to force me to get snapchat?!

Enty-way. I'm on a dating hiatus, but I don't think it's healthy based on what I want in my life. I've reached a point where I don't think a man who would strike my fancy exists in this city, but that can't be numerically true, right? Rhetorical question, I don't care enough to play the numbers game. I feel hella elitist but whatever, deez ninjas is dumb af and I'm not gonna bother "putting myself out there". I don't even wanna sleep with my cut buddy anymore, and he's amazing. My lease is up in June, but I can move anytime (I befriended the leasing agent in my building during Harvey and he'll let me break my lease if I want, or I can transfer to another property in another state). The only thing holding me back is the financial plan I set for myself several months ago. Moving costs a lot, and I'm saving up for a car so I'm not trying to disrupt my financial flow, but I also feel like I'm wasting my time here. I'm rambling :/
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I could have written this entire post myself. What I'm looking for isn't here. These guys are so... basic. I think you have a better chance than me though. Aren't you in Houston? There are lots of transplants there. It might be worth it to figure out where they hang and swoop in for the kill. But I feel your pain. In Houston there were so many good looking, single men with their ish together, but we just didn't connect intellectually.
 
SurferBabe said:
I could have written this entire post myself. What I'm looking for isn't here. These guys are so... basic. I think you have a better chance than me though. Aren't you in Houston? There are lots of transplants there. It might be worth it to figure out where they hang and swoop in for the kill. But I feel your pain. In Houston there were so many good looking, single men with their ish together, but we just didn't connect intellectually.
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I'm in my 30s so a lot of the men I meet here are married, I also haven't come across many attractive ones in their 30s, the youngins though :blondboob: but in addition to being young, they are also transplants, so they are here for a short time, then dip.

When I flew down to apartment hunt, I stayed in an Airbnb owned by a naija engineer in my network. We talked for hours my first evening, and on the second night, he asked, "why are you moving here?" I listed my reasons (COL, no more snow, Black ppl etc). He LITERALLY said, "you're too smart for Houston"....I was like what?! All these educated folks? C'mon son! He burst my bubble a little bit, but I was undeterred. Anyways, after a few months, I sent him a text telling him he was right lol. He LITERALLY replied, "I tried to warn you, this is where intellectualism comes to die". Welp :/

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it here, it's just not at all what I expected, particularly in the dating arena. Transplants come for medicine or oil & gas, so newbies are educated but not necessarily well-rounded (arts, music, sophistiratchetry.) It's not the city, it's me :) I like my Black people to have a diversity of thought and interests. And I'm not going around trying to have convos about the meaning of life all the time.
 
So I had a terrible commute this morning and this ninja on the platform made it worse. I'm standing there and this guy is getting closer and closer to me and when he's in my personal space he leans over and whispers "I like your hair" I'm reading and minding my business so I look up quickly, say thank you, and back to my book I go. This fool says "I like it because it looks curly"...wait for it..."not nappy like the other natural girls I see" My head went up in slow motion I couldn't believe it. I must have stared at him for what felt like a full minute. Standing there in all his old school (trying to be new school) high top fade glory. Ninja please! So I say "Well your hair is nappy and flat too so what's the problem?" And then I laughed because I didn't really mean to say that to him. I only meant to think it and I wasn't going to say anything. It just came out. He backed away crazy slow like he was scared or something. :laugh: And when the train came he made sure not to get in my car. These fools out here are bold. He must have thought I was a pick me and would beam with pride at that stupid comment but nah son stay over there with that nonsense.
 
KammyGirl said:
So I had a terrible commute this morning and this ninja on the platform made it worse. I'm standing there and this guy is getting closer and closer to me and when he's in my personal space he leans over and whispers "I like your hair" I'm reading and minding my business so I look up quickly, say thank you, and back to my book I go. This fool says "I like it because it looks curly"...wait for it..."not nappy like the other natural girls I see" My head went up in slow motion I couldn't believe it. I must have stared at him for what felt like a full minute. Standing there in all his old school (trying to be new school) high top fade glory. Ninja please! So I say "Well your hair is nappy and flat too so what's the problem?" And then I laughed because I didn't really mean to say that to him. I only meant to think it and I wasn't going to say anything. It just came out. He backed away crazy slow like he was scared or something. :laugh: And when the train came he made sure not to get in my car. These fools out here are bold. He must have thought I was a pick me and would beam with pride at that stupid comment but nah son stay over there with that nonsense.
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I keep running into a close friend of a dude I used to date. He's a cool guy and we always have fun whenever we see each other. He isn't someone I would EVER date.


He told me the other day that he's falling in love with me. I kind of already knew that but him telling me made it real. I'm only saying it here because there is no one else for me to tell. I'm still gonna hang out with him because he's my fave person right now....even though it's wrong on so many levels.
 
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Classic Man and I went bowling last night. He creamed me but I still had fun. He used to be on a bowling team. He gave me a hand massage when I told him my hands/arms/shoulders were sore from a workout I did the previous day. There was a photo booth so we went and took pictures which was funny because he kept making fun of the basic WW (his words) that were all over the place and used to show us how to use the thing. The pictures came out really nice though.

Then we walked around and wound up at this Cuban restaurant and bar where they played live music and we danced for a bit. We talked about our families and the type of families we want. We grew up with such different family structures. We're waaaaayyyy too early to talk about living together and I'm pretty traditional on that so I prefer it not to happen unless we're engaged/married, but I can tell that if we stay together long enough to get to that point, it's going to be an adjustment for him. He told me more about his dad and why they don't get along. I told him about my parents long marriage and how I feel about it. We talked so much I had to rush to drive him back to his BART (metro) station before the last train left. He quickly kissed me before he got out of my car.

Sidenote: He told me he will be out of town right before Thanksgiving, including my birthday. :angry2::angry2: He said we'll do something before then though.
 
Lordt. I take back my earlier post. We decided last night that we would speak less and that he wouldn't call or text me too often.

He called me today. I'm like :look: I told him if he didn't stop he was going to hurt himself. He said he was already hurting :cry3:

I feel bad but not really. I wish a man I liked was playing me this close. I'm not gonna block him but I'm not going to answer his calls anymore. I'll just see him when I see him. He's gonna make a whole slew of people hate is both.
 
Went to an event today and I think I was picked up. I didn't think so until we were talking about him after and my sister's boyfriend asked me "did he bag you?" I was like nah. But this guy is a friend of my sister. They used to work together and I remember I sent them a present once and he called me to rap Ice Cube's "today was a good day" to say thank you. I picked the song. Lol He's sweet, nice, respectful and very smart. Just the right amount of intellectual/seriousness with cool laidback and fun thrown in. But he's much younger than I am and I'm not sure about that considering my life timeline is ahead of his as in if I'm dating then I'm dating for marriage, want to have children, etc. He's got a little more time than me and I don't want to waste any on someone not where I am in that area. I gave him my number anyway. We'll see.
 
Is it lame for men to film themselves on IG stories or Snapchat rapping to songs in their car. Is this a turnoff for any of you?

A guy I knew in college is interested in me and he posts things like that ^^, political stuff or random vids about his day like if a barista pissed him off. I know this is common for us millenials but I've never dated a guy that's so into social media like that.
 
So I caved in and joined EHarmony. A few of my coworkers met their husbands on there and I haven't had luck with any of the free dating sites (too many flakes). So far I'm liking my matches. EHarmony wasn't able to match me with anyone in my area (typical), but they've thrown a bunch of Canadians my way. I have a weakness for black Canadian men, but I'm open to everyone at this point. I'll be in Toronto this weekend so I'm hoping for a little vacation fling :look:.
 
Always~Wear~Joy said:
Is it lame for men to film themselves on IG stories or Snapchat rapping to songs in their car. Is this a turnoff for any of you?

A guy I knew in college is interested in me and he posts things like that ^^, political stuff or random vids about his day like if a barista pissed him off. I know this is common for us millenials but I've never dated a guy that's so into social media like that.
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Screams of the typical millenial narcissism we've come to abhor. Its especially a bad look for males. How do they have the timw to post and snap life's trivialities when theyre supposed to be out there building ****, making something of their lives and preparing the way for their future families?

I'd pass but I'm an introverted overly responsible, grumpy Xer, so take it with a grain.
 
Always~Wear~Joy said:
Is it lame for men to film themselves on IG stories or Snapchat rapping to songs in their car. Is this a turnoff for any of you?

A guy I knew in college is interested in me and he posts things like that ^^, political stuff or random vids about his day like if a barista pissed him off. I know this is common for us millenials but I've never dated a guy that's so into social media like that.
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I'm turned off by men who are super active on social media UNLESS they are promoting their business or networking. Most of their time is spent thirsting after IG/Snapchat models. Grow up dude.
 
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