*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

[Evolving78]

I'm just getting home and I sit down at my desk/vanity in my bedroom to pluck my eyebrows. I'm sitting there listening to people outside talking and enjoying the background noise and I hear this woman say "but why did I have to call you at 9?" And she sounds really angry so I angle the mirror and open the 2nd window so I can see. Lol Basically the plan was for the man to pick the woman up for breakfast around 10. He was just showing up at 2. I hear him say but you called me at 10:04 why didn't you call me at 9 and she said again why should I call you at 9? I couldn't hear the whole conversation but I heard her also say "you have your own life and I have my own life but I'm supposed to hold my breath for this" This ninja said "yes, yes you should" .

He didn't care not a single lick that she was angry. He starts backing away to his car and is saying "are you ever in Harlem, I know a place, I'll pick you up. I'll fix it" I wanted to smack him my damn self. She said yeah i heard that before.

I wonder why she even bothered having the conversation. I would have either went to breakfast alone if i wanted to go out or got back into my pajamas and enjoyed my Saturday without him. I would not have even come downstairs to see his face. And because she did I can tell he feels like she'll get over what he did and he'll do it again. He knows she's mad but at least she's talking to him. That's the attitude he showed. I mean if he can do wrong and she still gives him the time of day what motive does he have to do better? He would have been standing outside my door like a fool. If I answered at all the only thing I would have said is "please leave before my neighbors call the police". I've used that before.

Circular dating is important for this very reason. If she had other men in her life, I doubt she would have entertained this loser that showed up 4 hours late for a breakfast date.

This. She needed an explanation and she showed lack of boundaries. like you said, I wouldn't have entertained anything he had to say. She allowed this dude to mess up her morning and early afternoon. he got away with it, and dismissed it like it was nothing. He didn't value her in any fashion. He flipped it all back on her.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

Been chatting with this foineeeeeee man physically he is my type in every way but I just found out to used to talk to one of my friends; nothing physical and they never even went out but I feel some kind of way.

Just my luck that the sexiest man I've met in Dallas so far would have ties to someone I know.




Also Facebook suggested my ex fiancé as a friend today, he looked gayer than a penguin wearing a rainbow bow tie and his wife looked chubby..... I was annoyed but pleased deep down

 

[chocolat79]

I don't post often in here because mainly I don't have anything much to add. When I'm in a dry spell, it's the absolute desert, so I lurk. But now that I have something to say, it's not even the right thread, lol!

Anyway, potential bae is now actual bae. I met him a few weeks ago and he's pretty much everything I'm looking for personality-wise and although physically, he's not really my type, he's going to get the glow up once I know it'll be worth it.

OAN, this guy I went out with on 2.5 dates back in the summer told me that if I wasn't ready to have sex with him by then that he'd have to find someone else to date and that he didn't have time for this. I chucked the deuces. Why did he hit me up with the random, "how was your summer?" I simply replied that it was great. Then a few days later, he asked about my weekend. He got crickets. Now, I don't have time for this. GOH!

 

[movingforward13]

I went on a date last night. New guy that I have been chatting back and forth with for the last few days. Wasn't impressed with his conversation but he looks alright and came at me respectfully.

Any way- he asked me out the right way last night (I would like to plan an evening to take you out, what type of food do you like to eat) and drove up all the way from Woodbridge (about 45 minutes away). Seems to have a good career, was previously married, very tall 6'3 and looks alright, not sexy but not hard on the eyes.
He is COVERED in tats though- employable covered but way more tattoos than I would expect a man to have. He told me that my profile came across as bougie but he contacted me because he thought I was a challenge. He was pleasantly surprised (I get that A LOT) when we met. He said I have a cool personality and not stuck up like he was expecting. We had a good time just talking and getting to know one another. He asked for another date before we left the restaurant. He also asked for my business cards because he knows a few business owners that could use an accountant... he got points for that.
If anything, I got to get out the house and meet someone new. Gonna use some of the MDLWLY dating tips and practice. I agreed to see him again.
Now I have to get ready to drive to CT for the funeral.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

This week was the first week Classic Man and I did not have a date although we've been in communication nearly every day. Our schedules were crazy busy. He texts me this morning as I'm headed out to meet up with my college BFF and little does he know I'm pretty close to him. I'm actually kinda bummed I didn't see him so I'm tempted to ask what's he's up to and if he can meet up for a few minutes but I don't want to make it too easy for him. We're not exclusive yet he still needs to be in pursuing mode.

 

[LovelyRo]

I was supposed to meet up with this guy on Friday but, honestly I didn’t want to go. So, when I hadn’t heard from him all day, I was like cool. I checked my phone around the time we were supposed to meet and saw that he had called about an hour or so prior. I sent him a text saying that I had just seen his missed call and his response was real dry. So, I left it at that. He sent me a text yesterday asking would you have wanted me to respond to your call with a text on a night we were going to meet? I didnt respond. Maybe it’s me... I felt like he should have reached out to me earlier in Friday... but oh well.

Firestick dude and the party didn’t go so well. I still don’t have my ish!!! The night started off odd. We spoke, he told me it was in his car and that he’d give it to me later. We were in the same area for a minute acting like strangers. So, after a few drinks he came over we talked for a minute (I don’t really remember what we talked about). But, after the party when he was taking too long to go to his car to get the firestick my friend called him a mfer to his face, and he got offended. He asked me to just come to his event today and if not, he’ll bring it to my house. Sigh...

 

[lavaflow99]

I was supposed to meet up with this guy on Friday but, honestly I didn’t want to go. So, when I hadn’t heard from him all day, I was like cool. I checked my phone around the time we were supposed to meet and saw that he had called about an hour or so prior. I sent him a text saying that I had just seen his missed call and his response was real dry. So, I left it at that. He sent me a text yesterday asking would you have wanted me to respond to your call with a text on a night we were going to meet? I didnt respond. Maybe it’s me... I felt like he should have reached out to me earlier in Friday... but oh well.

Firestick dude and the party didn’t go so well. I still don’t have my ish!!! The night started off odd. We spoke, he told me it was in his car and that he’d give it to me later. We were in the same area for a minute acting like strangers. So, after a few drinks he came over we talked for a minute (I don’t really remember what we talked about). But, after the party when he was taking too long to go to his car to get the firestick my friend called him a mfer to his face, and he got offended. He asked me to just come to his event today and if not, he’ll bring it to my house. Sigh...

Did y'all have set plans i.e. a time and location for Friday? If not, oh well his loss. He should have planned better with firm plans. Ain't no one got time to block off a whole evening for someone with nebulous plans. If y'all did have a set place and time.....then you are a tough customer .

 

[LovelyRo]

Did y'all have set plans i.e. a time and location for Friday? If not, oh well his loss. He should have planned better with firm plans. Ain't no one got time to block off a whole evening for someone with nebulous plans. If y'all did have a set place and time.....then you are a tough customer .

We had a set time and place but, I didn’t notice his missed call until around the time we were supposed to meet. So, prior to that I was thinking I haven’t heard from dude all day guess we won’t be meeting.

 

[MzLady78]

I was supposed to meet up with this guy on Friday but, honestly I didn’t want to go. So, when I hadn’t heard from him all day, I was like cool. I checked my phone around the time we were supposed to meet and saw that he had called about an hour or so prior. I sent him a text saying that I had just seen his missed call and his response was real dry. So, I left it at that. He sent me a text yesterday asking would you have wanted me to respond to your call with a text on a night we were going to meet? I didnt respond. Maybe it’s me... I felt like he should have reached out to me earlier in Friday... but oh well.

Firestick dude and the party didn’t go so well. I still don’t have my ish!!! The night started off odd. We spoke, he told me it was in his car and that he’d give it to me later. We were in the same area for a minute acting like strangers. So, after a few drinks he came over we talked for a minute (I don’t really remember what we talked about). But, after the party when he was taking too long to go to his car to get the firestick my friend called him a mfer to his face, and he got offended. He asked me to just come to his event today and if not, he’ll bring it to my house. Sigh...

This Firestick saga just doesn't end.

 

[rafikichick92]

Soccer Guy and I are still going strong, just dating. He took me to the jewelry store today to get a feel for what I like as far bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. We have verrrry different tastes, lol. It's different than my last relationship because I don't feel pressed to "be official". His actions, his thoughtfulness, and the way he studies me even though we're "just dating" all tell me more about how he feels about me than a weak attempt to quickly lock me down with the girlfriend label and some "I love yous". I appreciate it, actually. We have a good thing going.

 

[SurferBabe]

This week was the first week Classic Man and I did not have a date although we've been in communication nearly every day. Our schedules were crazy busy. He texts me this morning as I'm headed out to meet up with my college BFF and little does he know I'm pretty close to him. I'm actually kinda bummed I didn't see him so I'm tempted to ask what's he's up to and if he can meet up for a few minutes but I don't want to make it too easy for him. We're not exclusive yet he still needs to be in pursuing mode.

Don't lean in! I know it is tempting to keep your focus on this one man but it is best for you to keep a rotation going and not get ahead of him. If anything he should be trying to track you down and figure out when he's going to see you again. Just relax and be easy. He's definitely going to reach out about when to see you again, so make him sweat a little. Don't make anything easy for these men. You are a high value woman. Make these men worry about if you're even thinking of them.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Don't lean in! I know it is tempting to keep your focus on this one man but it is best for you to keep a rotation going and not get ahead of him. If anything he should be trying to track you down and figure out when he's going to see you again. Just relax and be easy. He's definitely going to reach out about when to see you again, so make him sweat a little. Don't make anything easy for these men. You are a high value woman. Make these men worry about if you're even thinking of them.

Thanks for that. I had a good time with my college BFF and he started texting me, asked for a date this week.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Soccer Guy and I are still going strong, just dating. He took me to the jewelry store today to get a feel for what I like as far bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. We have verrrry different tastes, lol. It's different than my last relationship because I don't feel pressed to "be official". His actions, his thoughtfulness, and the way he studies me even though we're "just dating" all tell me more about how he feels about me than a weak attempt to quickly lock me down with the girlfriend label and some "I love yous". I appreciate it, actually. We have a good thing going.

That's how I feel about Classic Man. He pays attention to what I say when we talk preferences, tastes and things like that. We're getting to know each other slowly even though he mentions doing things in the future. I was worried he'd press to be official to soon but he hasn't even though he's proving to be pretty consistent. I like that we're taking things slow but there's a serious nature to us too.

 

[natural2008]

I was supposed to meet up with this guy on Friday but, honestly I didn’t want to go. So, when I hadn’t heard from him all day, I was like cool. I checked my phone around the time we were supposed to meet and saw that he had called about an hour or so prior. I sent him a text saying that I had just seen his missed call and his response was real dry. So, I left it at that. He sent me a text yesterday asking would you have wanted me to respond to your call with a text on a night we were going to meet? I didnt respond. Maybe it’s me... I felt like he should have reached out to me earlier in Friday... but oh well.

Firestick dude and the party didn’t go so well. I still don’t have my ish!!! The night started off odd. We spoke, he told me it was in his car and that he’d give it to me later. We were in the same area for a minute acting like strangers. So, after a few drinks he came over we talked for a minute (I don’t really remember what we talked about). But, after the party when he was taking too long to go to his car to get the firestick my friend called him a mfer to his face, and he got offended. He asked me to just come to his event today and if not, he’ll bring it to my house. Sigh...

Is he mad you asked for your stick backs geeesh? He is watching it.

 

[Damaris.Elle]

This is going to be a weird ramble, but I don't know where else to post it:

I've been having so much fun these past couple of weeks and feeling happier than I've felt for a long time. This is the first time in 3 years I've been mentally, emotionally and physically distancing myself from my (now) ex. Even when we officially broke up a few months ago, I knew I was single but I didn't allow myself to mentally embrace being single because I was heartbroken. Now, I actually *feel* single and I've just been focusing on my social life, doing things I want to do and spending time with my friends. I've come to realize that when my ex and I's relationship was new and we were on good terms, I thought we were so similar to each other. But we really weren't/aren't.

I'm a social person...I love going out, being around friends and looking good. My ex is not a social person. He doesn't have many friends and has no interest in making more. When we would go out, it would be my suggestion most of the time. He'd socialize a bit, but if it were up to him, he'd be at home watching TV. There were so many times I wanted to go out and would suggest places to go/things to do and he would shoot down all my ideas so he could sit on the couch in sweats and watch TV.

As I look back on our relationship, especially how things were for the last year, I realize that I spent a good 2-3 years of my 20's perched on the couch, wasting away in front of the TV with this fool and I'm kind of mad at myself for it. I was just sooo wrapped up in him. I refuse to waste anymore of my youth and beauty perched in front of the TV screen. I've really been enjoying the attention I've been getting from other men. I spent some time with my ex today and I just felt indifferent toward him. I can't say that I don't love or care about him at all anymore, but I had absolutely no desire to show him any type of affection or ask how his week had been. I wonder if he could tell.

I have a date set up with another man this coming week that I'm really looking forward to and I'm going to be getting together with friends a few times this week too. So, my mind was focused on my upcoming week and not on him. I know it's a good thing that I'm drifting away from him, but it still kind of makes me sad in a way. I wanted our relationship to work out and I thought we could work through our problems and eventually have a stronger relationship than we had before, but I can't help the way I feel. When we decided to get back together to work on our problems, we had agreed on 'terms' to us getting back together. One of the most important ones was that we would go to couples therapy (which he insisted on using his insurance for and setting up the therapy appointments). He has not followed through on that or any of the other terms we supposedly agreed on. I appreciate that he has been helping financially, but that wasn't a part of the terms we agreed on. So, a huge part of me is feeling like "good riddance" and **** it. If we drift apart, we drift apart.

 

[Evolving78]

I was supposed to meet up with this guy on Friday but, honestly I didn’t want to go. So, when I hadn’t heard from him all day, I was like cool. I checked my phone around the time we were supposed to meet and saw that he had called about an hour or so prior. I sent him a text saying that I had just seen his missed call and his response was real dry. So, I left it at that. He sent me a text yesterday asking would you have wanted me to respond to your call with a text on a night we were going to meet? I didnt respond. Maybe it’s me... I felt like he should have reached out to me earlier in Friday... but oh well.

Firestick dude and the party didn’t go so well. I still don’t have my ish!!! The night started off odd. We spoke, he told me it was in his car and that he’d give it to me later. We were in the same area for a minute acting like strangers. So, after a few drinks he came over we talked for a minute (I don’t really remember what we talked about). But, after the party when he was taking too long to go to his car to get the firestick my friend called him a mfer to his face, and he got offended. He asked me to just come to his event today and if not, he’ll bring it to my house. Sigh...

Don't ask for the firestick back ever again, you hear me? It's like dangling a carrot in a rabbit's face, just to snatch it back from it!
He is playing with you. Stop talking to him and watch how he will try to reel you back in, just to play with you again. That firestick isn't worth the hassle. This is right up there with trying to get a sweater back. Screw that sweater.

 

[Evolving78]

Soccer Guy and I are still going strong, just dating. He took me to the jewelry store today to get a feel for what I like as far bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. We have verrrry different tastes, lol. It's different than my last relationship because I don't feel pressed to "be official". His actions, his thoughtfulness, and the way he studies me even though we're "just dating" all tell me more about how he feels about me than a weak attempt to quickly lock me down with the girlfriend label and some "I love yous". I appreciate it, actually. We have a good thing going.

did he buy you something from the jewelry store?

 

[MzLady78]

Some of us women really have to do better (myself included).

So I meet this young lady, and she introduces herself as my cousin's wife. I thought it was weird that neither was wearing a ring, but ok. She and I really clicked, moreso than anyone else I'd met for the first time. Come to find out, they split up in 2012, yet for some reason, she's still hanging around. Like, at his parents' house every day, all day, helping take care of his grandson and everything. My mom was there for a week, and she saw this with her own eyes. She is so sweet and nice, and I hate that she's wasting her life like this. My cousin said "she's like a roach, I can't get rid of her". This is his 3rd wife, so I suspect he has some issues he neeeds to work out. Even my mom was like "she needs to move on".

I really hope she wakes up, but I don't think she will. She was talking about all of us that hung out Saturday night doing a trip or something together one day.

OAN, somehow Saturday night, I kept ending up riding with my cousin's married best friend alone. He was definitely feeling me a little. He insisted on my taking me back to my hotel (there were other people in the car by then), even though 2 other people were going in that direction. He paid for my meal at Waffle House (turned out my other cousin had actually paid for all the women, but he didn't know). Like he was just extra nice to me for some reason. And I gotta say, it felt good to be treated kindly considering the **** I'm going through right now. Too bad it couldn't have come from someone who was available.

 

[rafikichick92]

did he buy you something from the jewelry store?

No. I didn't think it would be appropriate for where we are right now.

 

[LovelyRo]

Don't ask for the firestick back ever again, you hear me? It's like dangling a carrot in a rabbit's face, just to snatch it back from it!
He is playing with you. Stop talking to him and watch how he will try to reel you back in, just to play with you again. That firestick isn't worth the hassle. This is right up there with trying to get a sweater back. Screw that sweater.

He’s definitely playing games (not going to work) and the fact that it’s a firestick is rediculous. What’s the point? I only asked about it once and that was 2 weeks later.

Although it was a gift from my godson, I’ll just chalk it up. You’re right, it’s not worth. I’ll just get another one.

ETA I’ll jailbreak it myself this time! Smh

 

[MzLady78]

Just because he's pursuing you doesn't mean you have to fall for him. Continue to heal, lean back, and let him prove his words with actions. Since you are guarded, this is the perfect time to practice observing without participation. Let the infatuation be one sided. If talking to him makes you feel good in the moment, and you don't feel yourself falling for him, then talk to him on lonely nights when the silence gets to you and you need an ear. Use him. But I'd also make him back up his words with actions. Saying "I Love You" means nothing. If he knows you're in a bad spot emotionally, what is he prepared to do to put a smile on your face? If he's full of crap, he'll eliminate himself very quickly. Otherwise, in time you might have a friend. Anything is possible but make your healing a priority.

You're right.

TBH, I'm not really feeling it. He drove me a little crazy while I was in Charleston, blowing up my phone, knowing I was with my family. And when I said that, he was like "I know, I just wanted to hear your voice". IDK, I guess I should have thought it was sweet, but it rubbed me the wrong way. I thought it was a little selfish, like so what you wanted is all that mattered. You're taking away from time I'm spending with family I never get to see, I can talk to you when I'm back in Boston. He's already called me 3 times today, I'm on the train back to Boston.

He's doing a lot of talking, and I'm just like "ok". Like, today he said he didn't come into my life to mess me up. Bruh, I've been back from Babardos for 2 weeks now, and I don't know not one thing about you that I didn't know before I left cuz all you wanna do is insist that you love me and we're gonna end up together, cuz "neither of us is getting any younger". Meanwhile, we talk for 1 minute, 2 at the most when you call cuz your credit runs out. You What'sApp me from someone else's phone cuz for some reason you cant't be bothered to set up your own, even though it would be easier for us communicate that way. You aren't showing me anything that leads me to be believe you have anything to bring to the table as a SO, nevermind a husband. Words don't mean **** to me anymore.

 

[Damaris.Elle]

Some of us women really have to do better (myself included).

So I meet this young lady, and she introduces herself as my cousin's wife. I thought it was weird that neither was wearing a ring, but ok. She and I really clicked, moreso than anyone else I'd met for the first time. Come to find out, they split up in 2012, yet for some reason, she's still hanging around. Like, at his parents' house every day, all day, helping take care of his grandson and everything. My mom was there for a week, and she saw this with her own eyes. She is so sweet and nice, and I hate that she's wasting her life like this. My cousin said "she's like a roach, I can't get rid of her". This is his 3rd wife, so I suspect he has some issues he neeeds to work out. Even my mom was like "she needs to move on".

This is like a very extreme form of what I've been doing I can't let it get to that point. I don't think my situation will last that long...5 years is a long time.

 

[hopeful]

Don't ask for the firestick back ever again, you hear me? It's like dangling a carrot in a rabbit's face, just to snatch it back from it!
He is playing with you. Stop talking to him and watch how he will try to reel you back in, just to play with you again. That firestick isn't worth the hassle. This is right up there with trying to get a sweater back. Screw that sweater.

This is such good advice.

 

[SurferBabe]

Thanks for that. I had a good time with my college BFF and he started texting me, asked for a date this week.

This sounds promising!

 

[Evolving78]

He’s definitely playing games (not going to work) and the fact that it’s a firestick is rediculous. What’s the point? I only asked about it once and that was 2 weeks later.

Although it was a gift from my godson, I’ll just chalk it up. You’re right, it’s not worth. I’ll just get another one.

ETA I’ll jailbreak it myself this time! Smh

Yes you can do it! Girl Power! Lol

 

[Evolving78]

No. I didn't think it would be appropriate for where we are right now.

that's good. Don't fall for that window shopping stuff either.

 

[chocolat79]

You're right.

TBH, I'm not really feeling it. He drove me a little crazy while I was in Charleston, blowing up my phone, knowing I was with my family. And when I said that, he was like "I know, I just wanted to hear your voice". IDK, I guess I should have thought it was sweet, but it rubbed me the wrong way. I thought it was a little selfish, like so what you wanted is all that mattered. You're taking away from time I'm spending with family I never get to see, I can talk to you when I'm back in Boston. He's already called me 3 times today, I'm on the train back to Boston.

He's doing a lot of talking, and I'm just like "ok". Like, today he said he didn't come into my life to mess me up. Bruh, I've been back from Babardos for 2 weeks now, and I don't know not one thing about you that I didn't know before I left cuz all you wanna do is insist that you love me and we're gonna end up together, cuz "neither of us is getting any younger". Meanwhile, we talk for 1 minute, 2 at the most when you call cuz your credit runs out. You What'sApp me from someone else's phone cuz for some reason you cant't be bothered to set up your own, even though it would be easier for us communicate that way. You aren't showing me anything that leads me to be believe you have anything to bring to the table as a SO, nevermind a husband. Words don't mean **** to me anymore.

Honestly, it sounds like he's trying to get a green card OR he's already in a relationship. A lot of times these island dudes try to be real slick with it and ain't about ish. So like the PP said, just let his actions speak. TBH, I probably wouldn't even waste anymore time on him given what you've said.

 

[HappyMadison]

Random Thoughts: how many times in a row can one play Despacito, seriously?!! Lawd, take me off this bedrest.

 

[rafikichick92]

that's good. Don't fall for that window shopping stuff either.

Thus far I've listened to him talk a big game about a lot of things and I'm in the process of watching to see how much of it, if any, will come to fruition.

 

[hopeful]

Thus far I've listened to him talk a big game about a lot of things and I'm in the process of watching to see how much of it, if any, will come to fruition.

I was just reading about the phrase, Trust and Verify. That's what you are doing, being open and having fun, but waiting and watching for verification. Good for you.