*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

outspokenwallflower said:
I have horribly sh!tty self esteem. Like in the pits.

I compare myself to other women constantly, and I drown others in compliments, whereas, it's near impossible for me to accept one. When I do, I never believe it.

I need and WANT to fix this ASAP, but I don't know how... it's like one of those annoying situations where you you've taken step 1 (or step 0?) and acknowledged the problem; now it's time to take action but I don't even know where to begin. I can't see myself stepping out into the dating world if I loathe myself in anyway.

Incredibly sorry for this depressing post, I just really needed to get it out. If it's ill placed, any Moderator is free to move it please.
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:bighug:
I've certainly been there! I didn't start back to loving myself until recently and now it is like being in an amazing relationship with myself.

Your low self esteem is an illusion. It is a false belief created by you as a defense mechanism. You're hiding behind it. Take some time to think through your triggers. What are you hiding from? Like someone else suggested, therapy can help you talk/sort through your thoughts.

I can tell you that my journey to self-esteem/self-love was a spiritual one. It was about my return to self. Like you, I compared myself to others, and I needed an endless supply of compliments just to feel 'okay' about myself. I only broke free from the destructive cycle when I stopped depending on externals for fulfilment. Of course, this is much easier said than done, but detachment from the opinion of others is liberating.

Right now I'm reading Byron Katie's I Need Your Love-- Is That True? and I'm enjoying it. If you search for this on Youtube, there are a few clips from the audiobook. I also believe there is a pdf of the book somewhere on the net. Just do a search.

Good on you for acknowledging this roadblock and working on it! I wish I would have known this stuff a decade ago.
 
SurferBabe said:
Did you go on the date?
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Nope :laugh: I went shopping instead

giphy.gif
 
gimbap said:
Can I just marry The Weeknd? I love him. I saw him this past weekend and it just intensified my obsession with him. I also love how I listened to him in 2011/2012 when he was basically an unknown and remember thinking he should be more popular, now he's a big star. Yes I know he doesn't like black women. Yes I know he often looks dirty and drugged out :lol: I don't like pretty boys, anyone else like this?

Sorry for the rambling :lol:
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No! He's mine!
 
Ninja really said I may be missing out on my blessings by refusing to date men who don't drive.... "Wut Sir" o_O
I swear they don't even try to meet standards any more- the automatic response is "you will be missing out on your blessing by not accepting x-y-z". No Sir- me being the relationship chauffeur is NOT a blessing.
 
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NappyNelle said:
I really care about current boo, but I want him to step it up. Problem is - he can't right now. I feel like I'm being silly waiting around for what I want out of a relationship; commitment / titles does not equal stability to me. The circumstances are less than ideal, but I knew this before I verbally committed. *sigh* IDK
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Why are you settling when you have WL hair? Lol
 
SurferBabe said:
He said he's an empath and he absorbs people's energy. Lately he's been feeling weird because he has absorbed lots of feminine energy. So he said the last few days he's felt like a woman.

I might have to let go of my desire to date only fellow vegans because vegan men are weirdos 99% of the time. :lol:
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You need a meat eating man! Lol
Maybe they are taking in too much soy? Not getting enough protein?
 
SurferBabe said:
He said he's an empath and he absorbs people's energy. Lately he's been feeling weird because he has absorbed lots of feminine energy. So he said the last few days he's felt like a woman.

I might have to let go of my desire to date only fellow vegans because vegan men are weirdos 99% of the time. :lol:
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Men need to eat meat. Lol. At least some animal byproduct like dairy.
 
I went on a date with a guy in his early 40s. I'm 32. He was nice. I didn't like what he was wearing, but that's small in the grand scheme of things and it could've been just a bad outfit. Def liked his stability, owns his own home, good career, nice car etc. I actually really liked going on a week night. It felt less stressful for some reason, and I can use the weekend for my own activities
 
gimbap said:
I went on a date with a guy in his early 40s. I'm 32. He was nice. I didn't like what he was wearing, but that's small in the grand scheme of things and it could've been just a bad outfit. Def liked his stability, owns his own home, good career, nice car etc. I actually really liked going on a week night. It felt less stressful for some reason, and I can use the weekend for my own activities
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Does he dress like an older man?
 
I was dating someone that needed to spend more time than I could give. I'm pretty upfront with my availability. Mother, demanding job. I can do once a week easy but if you want more schedule the time. He wanted everyday or at least a few times a week. That just wasnt feasible..So there's that. On to the next.
 
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A delicious looking highly melinated chocolate accented man followed me all around the grocery store, chatting me up. we got on great, he was so sweet. I was sure he was going to ask for my number eventually but then I lost track of him... oh well. Got my stuff and pushed my cart out to the parking lot..

...to find him giving his Blond Becky wife a kiss with their 2 under 6 yo kids in tow...

these ninjas out here :censored:
no mf'ing good.:angry2:
 
TCatt86 said:
I was dating someone that needed to spend more time than I could give. I'm pretty upfront with my availability. Mother, demanding job. I can do once a week easy but if you want more schedule the time. He wanted everyday or at least a few times a week. That just wasnt feasible..So there's that. On to the next.
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This is why I don't bother anymore. I'm too busy.
 
So I gave my notice to my client- I am finalizing the partnership deal today and this is going to require a lot of my time. Since my client requires me to be on site- it isn't going to work. I hope my other client (the one I was working from home for) wins their government contract because I will do that again from my new office.
I have a few mentors who are interested in helping me set up. They are seasoned CPAs and Enrolled Agents so taking in all I can get. I have to redo business cards to include the new address. And while I am doing all this I am wondering where are brothers are- why aren't they up here with us. It is sad that Lee is the best I have found so far. He has been the most consistent with me even though he is aware I am keeping my options open.
 
While I was visiting Bae #2 I saw my crush. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and Bae #2's other friends were looking like wth. Then that night we went to some bar to watch the fight and there was only one seat for me next to my crush. I happily accepted it! But like the sucker I am, I switched seats later in the night to sit with Bae cause I was bored as hell and falling asleep. The fight was so long, like why did it last all 12 rounds? But the crush is sooooo fine and chocolate and buff. I was disappointed when his boo showed up to the field that morning. She was not Black & he became eh to me then that night she didn't show up so I know he left her home cause of me and I got excited again. He is so fine. I was being sneaky and took a bunch of pictures of him while they were playing football.
 
So dude and I will be at the same party this weekend. I sent him a text asking him to bring my firestick and not to worry about jail breaking it if he hadn't. He sent me a reply saying "it's done." That's it, that's all. I'm trying to figure out what I did to him.
 
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