*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

shespoison said:
My ex hit me up this morning. We are still cool but we only really communicate to share news or talk about production...


My homegirl also hit me up this morning telling me some man she dated 7 years ago hit her up. I told her about me ex and she said "oh, that means he j*rked off to you this morning" :barf:


Anyway, since I'm working and can't do breakfast I agreed to dinner :lachen:
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Tis cuffing season...
 
I was added to this beard gang group on FB. Men are posting their pics with age, location, marital status and #of kids. Women are going craaaaaaaazy over these men, and I am unimpressed. Only one guy made me scroll back up to look more closely lol. Maybe it's because I'm not attracted to 40+ men (with some exceptions) and the group skews older. They also seem like the kind of guys who call women "females" and post stupid memes about Black people being poor because some of us buy Jordans. Anyways, seeing the other women's excitement in contrast to my lack of excitement made me realize I may not be open at all to meeting someone lol. I'm just like "meh".
 
shespoison said:
I don't think so. He's a grown man he doesn't even know what cuffin season is lol.

Dinner was nice. He just wanted to catch up.
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Whew...
giphy (1).gif

Most men don't unless they are super predators, trying to stay ahead of the curve. It's just a natural male dating pattern in this digital age. I say this, because I am seeing an influx of "hey big head" messages from men I knew in elementary school, lol. How was the dinner?
 
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HappyMadison said:
Whew...
View attachment 410827

Most men don't unless they are super predators, trying to stay ahead of the curve. It's just a natural male dating pattern in this digital age. I say this, because I am seeing an influx of "hey big head" messages from men I new in elementary school, lol. How was the dinner?
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It was goodt. We ate and left lol. I get the "hey stranger" texts too but not from him. When we communicate it usually has a purpose so when he's like "let's grab dinner" I was thrown off. He's a good man, I wish I could give him to someone who needs him :look:
 
I unexpectedly had date #3 with Classic Man last night. :look: My HS BFF is going through a tough break up and called me so I met up with her. While we're eating Classic Man texts me saying his plans changed and asking if I'm doing anything later because he's going to an Art show. I put him off until I saw my friend was ok and I decide to meet up with him. I had a stressful week all the way through and I was already disappointed at not getting to see him anyway. The art show was cool. He just lit up as he explained to me his favorite pieces.

Afterward we went to a jazz club with the cutest name lol Mr Tipple's. We had to walk a bit to get there. I took his hand while we were walking and he did not let it go for the entire night if he could help it. We talked about things we hadn't gotten to yet. I found out his love languages--Words of Affirmation/Physical Touch. Mine are Quality Time/Physical Touch so we're good there. :look: We briefly talked the future and settling down. He wants to. We went to another club and I met two of his friends. His friends kept texting him and he put them off before he met up with them. By 11:30 my introverted butt was tired after having been around people almost all day. He ended up paying for an Uber to take me back to my BART (metro) station in Oakland. He kissed me a lot during this date and I was ready for it this time.

I'm still digging him although I'm seeing how different we are. Not a bad thing, I'm just seeing potential areas for clash. He's texting me now about stuff we talked about on the date. I'm going to respond... later though.
 
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Lol, my love life is a mess right now...but I kind of like it.
I broke up with my ex in the beginning of June (he cheated). Right from the beginning, he said he wanted to work through things. At the end of July/ beginning of last month, I decided to give it a chance and try to work things out because I do love him. But within a few weeks he was already pissing me off again. I'm still talking to him and seeing him though. The last couple of months have been kind of difficult, financially and he's been helping out. I guess that's why I'm still talking to him (terrible, I know). He doesn't know that he's been demoted back to 'ex' and I'm taking applications to fill my roster again. This is the reason my love life is messy. I'll have to fix it eventually.

A couple of weeks ago I went on a girls' trip to Miami and I was looking GOODT. So, I used the opportunity to get my Instagram back poppin (I hadn't been on IG/posted anything on IG in 3 years). I've been getting lots of DMs and there's 3 men that stand out.

One guy is the last friend with benefits I had before getting with my ex...the sex I used to have with him was some of the best I ever had, so I definitely want him back on my roster lol. He's moving to Atlanta soon though, so that'll be pretty temporary.

The second guy is another dude I dated briefly back in 2011 when I was still finishing my undergrad degree. I'm not really all that interested in having sex with him again at the moment...he's gained weight since I last saw him a few years ago. If he loses weight it could be a different story. He's a nice guy though...I'd go out with him again.

The third guy and the one I'm most interested in is this guy I used to go to school with (while finishing my undergrad degree) in 2008-2009...a longggg time ago. We had a few classes together and I would talk to him casually. I was always attracted to him and he would be kind of flirty while talking to me, but I had a boyfriend at that time so I didn't flirt back and we never went out or had sex. He's kind of kept in contact with me throughout the years. We're friends on Facebook and IG and he had my number and would send me text messages every so often. When I was single a few years ago, he texted me a couple of times to meet up but I always turned him down...I lived far away from him at the time. He would text me on my birthday too. Although, last year when he texted me on my b-day and hinted at linking up, I curbed him and sent a "New phone, who dis?" text lol. I really was being a good girl for my (now ex) boyfriend. :rolleyes: He hit me up a couple of weeks ago and we've been texting since then. Now we live in the same area, so we'll probably meet up soon.

He's Filipino. I've never dated an Asian man before...I really hope that stereotype is not true. He's pretty tall...so hopefully I wont be disappointed lol. Anyone have experience?
 
So... the former potential was supposed to be bringing my firestick back to me on Thursday and I haven't heard from him. He was supposed to jailbreak it for me and I have no idea whether or not he did it. At this point I want to just tell him to run me my ish. I'll jailbreak it myself. I don't think he won't give it back... but, bruh.

ETA... since dating is a done deal, I don't want him to think I'm sweating him. We'll be at the same party I next weekend. I think I'll just tell him to bring it there.
 
I really care about current boo, but I want him to step it up. Problem is - he can't right now. I feel like I'm being silly waiting around for what I want out of a relationship; commitment / titles does not equal stability to me. The circumstances are less than ideal, but I knew this before I verbally committed. *sigh* IDK
 
I think I'm finally there y'all. I'm at peace. :cry3: This has been over a month in the making. I've been meditating daily, getting deeper into my spirituality, listening to numerous audios about being present and living in the moment, and I think I'm there. Of course there will always been work to do, and naturally I've allowed some negative thoughts to creep in, but I've gotten much better at quieting the noise.

I went festival hopping this weekend and not once did I feel sadness at being surrounded by couples. Nor did I feel anxious or on edge about whether or not a guy would come talk to me. I felt like I was on another vibration and was thrilled with where I was in the moment.

I haven't been proactive in dating at all, but I do have a profile up. I'm using this as a way to slowly dip my toes back into the dating world. Online dating is a great way to learn about how to not become emotionally invested in the outcome, because even promising guys on there will ghost you. I have a museum date next weekend with a guy from the West Coast :love:, so we'll see how this goes.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
So I'm supposed to have a date this evening but I really want to cancel it he is just so not take charge and I'm annoyed.

He text me this morning and said "what time would be a good time to meet?"

Which was fine so I suggested 6 o'clock and he said "OK that will work"

Soooooo where are we going then sir?!??
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I hate this! :nono:

You can't even plan on what to wear if you don't know where you're going. I'd straight up just ask him and frame it as needing to know so you can properly plan your outfit. There isn't much to lose on a Monday evening date. If you're not really feeling him, suggest you all meet close to where you live. Is he fine? :look:
 
NappyNelle said:
I really care about current boo, but I want him to step it up. Problem is - he can't right now. I feel like I'm being silly waiting around for what I want out of a relationship; commitment / titles does not equal stability to me. The circumstances are less than ideal, but I knew this before I verbally committed. *sigh* IDK
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Does he have other time commitments?
 
SurferBabe said:
I hate this! :nono:

You can't even plan on what to wear if you don't know where you're going. I'd straight up just ask him and frame it as needing to know so you can properly plan your outfit. There isn't much to lose on a Monday evening date. If you're not really feeling him, suggest you all meet close to where you live. Is he fine? :look:
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Right! We were supposed to actually meet up this weekend but he was so beta about it but I just never responded :look: he's not bad looking, definitely not the finest thing walking though.
 
I have horribly sh!tty self esteem. Like in the pits.

I compare myself to other women constantly, and I drown others in compliments, whereas, it's near impossible for me to accept one. When I do, I never believe it.

I need and WANT to fix this ASAP, but I don't know how... it's like one of those annoying situations where you you've taken step 1 (or step 0?) and acknowledged the problem; now it's time to take action but I don't even know where to begin. I can't see myself stepping out into the dating world if I loathe myself in anyway.

Incredibly sorry for this depressing post, I just really needed to get it out. If it's ill placed, any Moderator is free to move it please.
 
@outspokenwallflower
:bighug:
Feel how you feel and let it out, Beautiful .

I used to think every compliment was a conspiracy... like everyone that ever called me beautiful or sweet all knew each other and knew that I was hideous and banned together to make me feel better.:perplexed:

Sounds nuts typing it out but it's true.

You will get exactly where you need to be. There's plenty of great reading material in this forum from the Rori Raye to the Men Don't Love Women Like You thread.

The Four Agreements is a good read that may help with comparing yourself to others. HTH!


:)
 
NinaShamone said:
@outspokenwallflower
:bighug:
Feel how you feel and let it out, Beautiful .

I used to think every compliment was a conspiracy... like everyone that ever called me beautiful or sweet all knew each other and knew that I was hideous and banned together to make me feel better.:perplexed:

Sounds nuts typing it out but it's true.

You will get exactly where you need to be. There's plenty of great reading material in this forum from the Rori Raye to the Men Don't Love Women Like You thread.

The Four Agreements is a good read that may help with comparing yourself to others. HTH!


:)
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Getting reading recommendations would help TREMENDOUSLY. I think I need to have a fresh/different perspective on what I need to work towards, and tips on how I can get there. It's so easy to know what you need to do and say you're aware, but following through is such a weak point for me. I feel like I have decades of behavior I have to reverse or understand and deal with differently before I can finally set myself on the right path.
 
Lol Instagram has been lit lately. I've been hitting up people I used to hang out with and re-connecting and it seems to be the best place to find out about events. I definitely need to get out more. I can't believe I was inactive for 3 years.

On the downside, the dude that I lost my virginity to when I was 20 has been sending hearts and kissy face emojis and **** all day. Bye bro. Even as a virgin I knew you had a small ****. Lol we only had sex one time.
 
Can I just marry The Weeknd? I love him. I saw him this past weekend and it just intensified my obsession with him. I also love how I listened to him in 2011/2012 when he was basically an unknown and remember thinking he should be more popular, now he's a big star. Yes I know he doesn't like black women. Yes I know he often looks dirty and drugged out :lol: I don't like pretty boys, anyone else like this?

Sorry for the rambling :lol:
 
gimbap said:
Can I just marry The Weeknd? I love him. I saw him this past weekend and it just intensified my obsession with him. I also love how I listened to him in 2011/2012 when he was basically an unknown and remember thinking he should be more popular, now he's a big star. Yes I know he doesn't like black women. Yes I know he often looks dirty and drugged out :lol: I don't like pretty boys, anyone else like this?

Sorry for the rambling :lol:
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I don't like pretty boys either. :look:
 
gimbap said:
Can I just marry The Weeknd? I love him. I saw him this past weekend and it just intensified my obsession with him. I also love how I listened to him in 2011/2012 when he was basically an unknown and remember thinking he should be more popular, now he's a big star. Yes I know he doesn't like black women. Yes I know he often looks dirty and drugged out :lol: I don't like pretty boys, anyone else like this?

Sorry for the rambling :lol:
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That was me and Frank Ocean, before, well, now I protect him like a brother, lol.

I think me and another member used to duke it out over him in the Angry Black Girl thread, lol

I also made a post concerning the Weeknd, when I met him and others during ACL one year. I had a conversation with him. It was brief, but he seemed like an introvert. But I just did not feel the diss everyone preceived, because it was a thread about him being racist and I was like hey, I met him, he cool, but he had started dating Bella so maybe he was trying to figure out how to set up optics. Not everyone is going to act like Future or Drake when they see a girl, lol. But I was working, so I had to worry about fratenization and optics too.

I say, "SHOOT YO SHOT!" He is doing Hollywood in reverse. His girls get darker instead of lighter lol.
 
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outspokenwallflower said:
I have horribly sh!tty self esteem. Like in the pits.

I compare myself to other women constantly, and I drown others in compliments, whereas, it's near impossible for me to accept one. When I do, I never believe it.

I need and WANT to fix this ASAP, but I don't know how... it's like one of those annoying situations where you you've taken step 1 (or step 0?) and acknowledged the problem; now it's time to take action but I don't even know where to begin. I can't see myself stepping out into the dating world if I loathe myself in anyway.

Incredibly sorry for this depressing post, I just really needed to get it out. If it's ill placed, any Moderator is free to move it please.
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Have you thought about seeing a therapist? You may have to see a few before you find one that clicks for you, but I highly recommend it.
 
All4Tris said:
So... the former potential was supposed to be bringing my firestick back to me on Thursday and I haven't heard from him. He was supposed to jailbreak it for me and I have no idea whether or not he did it. At this point I want to just tell him to run me my ish. I'll jailbreak it myself. I don't think he won't give it back... but, bruh.

ETA... since dating is a done deal, I don't want him to think I'm sweating him. We'll be at the same party I next weekend. I think I'll just tell him to bring it there.
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You could have done it yourself. It is very easy to do. I asked Bae to walk me through it but he was at the gym when I called and by the time he called me back I already did it. He even preferred the build I chose over his and switched to mine.
 
SlimPickinz said:
You could have done it yourself. It is very easy to do. I asked Bae to walk me through it but he was at the gym when I called and by the time he called me back I already did it. He even preferred the build I chose over his and switched to mine.
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Someone told me that it wasn't that difficult... I just didn't look into it. I might need to now anyway! Lol
 
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