*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

shortdub78 said:
You are going to a health club now right? Lol go during happy hours on days you don't work out. Put on a cute workout outfit and hit the weight room.., they will come.. trust me. I used to work at a health/fitness club for several years.
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i've NEVER been approached at a gym. they usually just stare from the other side of the room (and creep me out in the process)
 
laCriolla said:
seems like he wanted you to cry, and then say it was OKAY that he was neglecting you. that's why he didn't expect your response. he wanted the green light to be less than good to you. You did the right thing. Stay strong, he will try to come back!!
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That's what I was thinking as well, when he was over at my house and asked me if I wanted to talk about it, it was like he was waiting for me to give him the green light that what he was doing was OK and I'll wait around while he figures it out.

If he would've been a man and opened up and discussed his struggles from jump then we could've worked through it. He really was never the same after I checked him about that card though, so I think it was a lot more than just his job and what was going on with his family.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
That's what I was thinking as well, when he was over at my house and asked me if I wanted to talk about it, it was like he was waiting for me to give him the green light that what he was doing was OK and I'll wait around while he figures it out.

If he would've been a man and opened up and discussed his struggles from jump then we could've worked through it. He really was never the same after I checked him about that card though, so I think it was a lot more than just his job and what was going on with his family.
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wow. I just found and read the 'card' post. (b/c I didn't know what you were talking about)
my $0.02 =
you dodged a bullet. he's full of games. gamesmanship. his beahvior is manipulative, controlling, abusive and you don't deserve that. it can wreak havoc and take years and much money to recover from getting in too deep with a person like that.

1. you can't tell me he didn't put that card there for you to see. your post said 'last week' you saw it, and that was in August, ...who keeps Vday cards up in august? not even when you're in a relationship do you do that. and Men? they really don't. if he needs a "pop of color" in his life, he can have a blue and purple eye.

2. he didn't talk about his struggles with you because he couldn't do it with honesty (the struggle is juggling multiple women) so instead, he asked for permission to be distant, inconsiderate, rude, etc.

i've learned the hard way that some men try to 'test' women to see how much they can get away with. a dog will run to the end of his leash. seems unfair, but it seems like lots of men these days are more interested in being with a woman who is blind to their ways, or women they can manipulate easier.

that mess with the card is cruel, and seems to me to be intentional. I don't know why he did that - if he was trying to get you to break up with him, or if he wanted to test your boundaries, but healthy people don't need to do either.

I experienced that with my ex. he left an open condom wrapper in the doorway and we stopped by his place on the way to the movies to pick up his phone charger. He told me the wrapper was mine. I had an IUD at the time, and he had been coming to my place. for about a month I hadn't been over to his place. that wrapper was NOT mine and I resented that he thought I was dumb enough to agree with that lie. I picked it up, walked it over to him, placed it in his hand, and walked out. I didn't say anything because i was in shock and couldn't. To this day I believe that he set that whole thing up. A different day i washed my hands in his sink, dried my hands on a paper towel, and when I went to throw the towel away saw a pair of women's jeans in the trash just sitting there. like clear as day- one leg over the side of the trash bin, almost like they were laid there to dry. and he had the nerve to say "you were looking through my trash". no i wasn't! I think they all get this crap from the same playbook, I just don't know what the point is??? Then they always say something to the effect of we broke up with THEM. or WE wont' take THEIR calls. Or WE are being cold. no, you ended the relationship when you cheated. In some sick way it seems like they think they are testing devotion. I dont want a man like that.
 
HappyMadison said:
You are not overreacting or being racist. It is just the times we live in. When I was on the apps, I came with the mind that I wasn't going to find a spouse here. A good 93% were there for a hook up. All my long term relationships were people I have met irl. Maybe they consider her an easy lay and you are about your business. And what you consider them trying to be open to her, is actually a ploy to secure yt into the rotation. Clearly she is a placeholder.

As for your trainer. It sounds like some white girl trickery. I had a coworker where the only thing she intimated was her relationship problems with black men, nothing else. I took it as another way of her competing with me. I would just have the attitude of that is unfortunate. I never had that experience. All the black men I meet are commitment minded. Maybe you need to change where you are meeting your dudes or why you draw these type of black men. These beautiful, broken creatures. I personally wouldn't feel bad because they all tended to be f* bois. I don't need that kind of attention.
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today at the gym i was talking about those long beards guys like to wear these days, and how food must get stuck in them. she said "oh! my guy has a beard, but food doesn't get stuck. he has HUGE lips though and food is always getting stuck on them its gross"

i felt a rush of anger flow over me, and thought to myself "if you don't like black features, don't date black men" i mean- this woman has said to me she wont' date anyone other than black men. and then she criticizes his features.

I didn't say anything to her, just got down on the floor to do my ab work. I think she noticed that I gritted my teeth because she ran and got me a mat, which she never does. next time we are going to have to have a talk, or I'll find a new trainer.
 
I met this man last week and I gave him my number because he was super nice and clean cut. Seemed like a good guy.

He called me the next day but I was busy...I hit him back and he didn't answer but texted me the next day...to me, this meant he was in a live in situation. I just met him and was not at all invested so why should I care?

I noticed later in the week that his WhatsApp pic was a baby. He texted me at 2 am last night. When I woke up I texted him "why are you textin me at 2 am?"

He called me but I was busy and he left a voicemail. I just called him back and he was trying to make plans for us today...I'm like nah... we're talking and I'm like hold up. Do you have a girlfriend/wife...hes like why are you asking me that :rolleyes:

I said cuz your WhatsApp pic is a fresh baby. He tells me that it's his 3 month old son that he "super excited about" :drunk:


I'm like, you have a 3 month old son but no wife or girlfriend? He admits to having a girlfriend and asks me if thats a problem. :lachen:

He promises no drama and asks me to keep him posted on my plans for tonight. I tell him that my concern isn't drama it's the fact that he has a 3 month old son and a girlfriend and tell him no thank you...


These men out here :spinning:
 
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shespoison said:
Son. He got game or nah?
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hrk.gif
 
laCriolla said:
What is WRONG with people these days!? I mean COME ON
I've lost faith.
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I should have known better...before he asked me for my number, he said he had to leave because he had church in the morning :lachen:


I'm not even mad. I am amused. I feel ok with being single...this dude was kind of a nerd. His girlfriend who I believe is really his wife, probably has no idea at all.

Men go hard to lie and manipulate me. I am finally at the stage where I can identify after 3 exchanges. They think I am young and naive. Mostly because I am chipper and friendly. What they don't know is I am a undercover monster and life ruiner. He's lucky he told the truth because I would have told his wife if I would have been fooled into dating him.
 
shespoison said:
Men go hard to lie and manipulate me. I am finally at the stage where I can identify after 3 exchanges. They think I am young and naive. Mostly because I am chipper and friendly. What they don't know is I am a undercover monster and life ruiner. He's lucky he told the truth because I would have told his wife if I would have been fooled into dating him.
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I can relate. I haven't learned how to ruin lives yet. How do you do it ?

I sent a girl proof of stuff her boyfriend was doing and she didn't believe me.
 
So, the guy who I had relegated to friend zone, has totally stepped it up. He offered to take me and pick me up from the airport, which is kind of a big deal. First, it's about 1 hr away, then the highway to get there can be all kinds of ridiculous, so he saved me time and money. Second, I have a flight again really soon and he asked could he take me to the airport again. Um, yes please. He's doing the right things, so we'll see.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Lmao :laugh: Why don't you like him?!?
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I don't know :drunk: If he were to pursue something more I'd be open because I do enjoy his company. I think maybe I trained myself to have no expectations when entering a situation like this, but I went too far and just shut all my emotions down. Plus I think I'm still scarred from my last situation...one day I'll share that story.
 
Classic Man went to Comic Con yesterday, dressed up too. He sent me a pic of him in his costume. Now on the one hand I like his arms :look: but I'm not physically attracted to his face at least not like I want to be. It didn't help that he was wearing stuff on his head that makes him look older...

I wish I could unsee it. :nono:
 
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