*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

SurferBabe said:
:yahoo:Go ahead then! I could have written that first paragraph myself. It feels grand doesn't it? Did you read the summary I typed up of Katarina's audio on High Value Women?
https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/katarina-phangs-dating-philosophy.820571/page-4#post-24123125

I'm listening to the audio and reading my notes every morning until it sticks. The most liberating part of it all is that you need not do anything to be cherished by a man. Just be happy in the moment, right now, no matter your current status. Release the worry and surrender. We're exactly where we are supposed to be.
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I haven't read it. Just opened it in a new tab. Let me go take a look.
 
ItsMeLilLucky said:
Who, your baby? :lachen:
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tenor.gif


Mhmmmm.



Maybe I just read it twice.:lachen:
 
LovinLea said:
What do guys think of dinner and a lounge for a first date? I don't really want to dance with you on a first date.
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Dancing can be seductive. I would just do dinner first. We gotta remember the pure nature of men. Lol men that pick places and activities they feel confident in, is a way to show out. The date is about them. Unless ya'll met in a dance class, then no! Lol
 
Are there any ladies in this thread that are out of the dating game? Choosing to be without a mate? Gay, straight, fluid, etc it doesn't matter! lol I really don't wanna be in a relationship, or date anymore. all of the energy it takes, and being a single/divorced mom of 3 children with special needs is a lot. I don't wanna be pulled into different directions. I realize I'm not good at multitasking. And I don't wanna have to be on guard constantly questioning someone's intentions with myself, or my children. That used to bother me at first. Like I was resentful that my former partners were able to still live their lives and I had to be the responsible parent. I'm at peace with that now. I get a chance to redefine things and how I see my life. This is a good thing. No bitterness. I don't wanna share my life like that anymore. I wanna dress for me, I wanna cook for me, I wanna learn for me, I wanna do everything for me and be a good example to my children.

I'm signing my son up for a male mentoring program. I'm excited about that. There are other ways I can bring male role models into my sons' lives. I'm gearing up for fall sports. My baby loves his uncle and his cousin. Two men that he can get that male attention bonding from. They are patient with him.
 
Okay, so talk about yesterday and this am... Walking in confidence is really the key, also looking good, feeling and smelling good helps...

Yea I decided to go home and put away laundry, clean etc etc yesterday... #boringMe

Like others have attested to, on way home from work, minding my own business, listening to my tunes, smiling and just feeling good about life (smiling at randoms instead of the usual screw face), so many people, men and women were just looking at me, at first I thought I had something on me, like wtf, why yall ice grilling... Some men were winking and speaking. As I was 1/2 block from home, standing at the Stop light, as it turned the driver beeped horn and was like you go girl... I was confused... ok maybe I was doing a lil jig well standing there... Then as I approach building the usual block heads whom I usually am invisible too, all spoke... #shocked.. Lol...

Then this morning, same thing occurred at stop light, dude didnt beep but as he turned corner I saw him with a big ole grin and he winked... Its the lil things...

Happy Thursday!!! :grin:
 
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shortdub78 said:
Are there any ladies in this thread that are out of the dating game? Choosing to be without a mate? Gay, straight, fluid, etc it doesn't matter! lol I really don't wanna be in a relationship, or date anymore. all of the energy it takes, and being a single/divorced mom of 3 children with special needs is a lot. I don't wanna be pulled into different directions. I realize I'm not good at multitasking. And I don't wanna have to be on guard constantly questioning someone's intentions with myself, or my children. That used to bother me at first. Like I was resentful that my former partners were able to still live their lives and I had to be the responsible parent. I'm at peace with that now. I get a chance to redefine things and how I see my life. This is a good thing. No bitterness. I don't wanna share my life like that anymore. I wanna dress for me, I wanna cook for me, I wanna learn for me, I wanna do everything for me and be a good example to my children.

I'm signing my son up for a male mentoring program. I'm excited about that. There are other ways I can bring male role models into my sons' lives. I'm gearing up for fall sports. My baby loves his uncle and his cousin. Two men that he can get that male attention bonding from. They are patient with him.
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Sounds like you're in a good space right now by prioritizing your peace and happiness. You can still be open to love, but just choose situations that are easy and stress free. I think a good way to do that is remain emotionally detached and just live in the moment. The energy drain comes when we become overly invested early on and bank of the future. Remain in receive mode.

I definitely want love, but right now I'm not focused on marriage (open to but not focused on). That's where I get caught up. I've released the desire for that right now. Instead, I'm open to having lovers :look:. Not FWBs or situationships, but a series of fun romances that I lean back and enjoy in the moment with no expectations. I want to be fussed over, doted on, and spoiled. Having an end goal causes too much anxiety for me right now.
 
SurferBabe said:
Sounds like you're in a good space right now by prioritizing your peace and happiness. You can still be open to love, but just choose situations that are easy and stress free. I think a good way to do that is remain emotionally detached and just live in the moment. The energy drain comes when we become overly invested early on and bank of the future. Remain in receive mode.

I definitely want love, but right now I'm not focused on marriage (open to but not focused on). That's where I get caught up. I've released the desire for that right now. Instead, I'm open to having lovers :look:. Not FWBs or situationships, but a series of fun romances that I lean back and enjoy in the moment with no expectations. I want to be fussed over, doted on, and spoiled. Having an end goal causes too much anxiety for me right now.
Click to expand...
I physically have to do a lot to go out on a date. That's part of the energy I don't wanna be bothered with. When I say I'm a single mother, I mean single in every aspect. My support system is extremely small. There are women/mothers that get free time. My time is limited. There is no other parent, grandparents, etc.. if I use a babysitter it is someone I trust, knows my kids well, and is used to take care of important business. My mommy time is in the shower, or when folks are asleep! Lol if I use a babysitter for fun, it won't be used to be in a man's face. I wanna use that strictly on myself.

Love comes in different forms. I would like to experience that type of love. Not the love of a companion/man.
I have seen women really enjoying life and having amazing experiences without dating. I used to look down on that. Now I think it's cool.
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
Okay, so talk about yesterday and this am... Walking in confidence is really the key, also looking good, feeling and smelling good helps...

Yea I decided to go home and put away laundry, clean etc etc yesterday... #boringMe

Like others have attested to, on way home from work, minding my own business, listening to my tunes, smiling and just feeling good about life (smiling at randoms instead of the usual screw face), so many people, men and women were just looking at me, at first I thought I had something on me, like wtf, why yall ice grilling... Some men were winking and speaking. As I was 1/2 block from home, standing at the Stop light, as it turned the driver beeped horn and was like you go girl... I was confused... ok maybe I was doing a lil jig well standing there... Then as I approach building the usual block heads whom I usually am invisible too, all spoke... #shocked.. Lol...

Then this morning, same thing occurred at stop light, dude didnt beep but as he turned corner I saw him with a big ole grin and he winked... Its the lil things...

Happy Thursday!!! :grin:
Click to expand...
They see that glow! You got some pep in your step! You are probably strutting and switching too! Lol
 
shortdub78 said:
What happened?
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Oh we're still talking for now, just only on the phone. The social media part was just too much.

Actually I am on a complete social media hiatus right now. Deleted FB, IG, and SnapChat. I work from home now and it's too easy to be all up on social media because I always have my phone with me. At my old job, we were always so busy, I might have glanced at it once in a 12 hour shift. So it's been a big change on that front in general. I've become more and more compulsive about it and Soccer Guy kinda brought that to a head.

Although SnapChat might be coming back because my brother and I have a 2.5 month streak going and he will murder me if I break it.
 
shortdub78 said:
I physically have to do a lot to go out on a date. That's part of the energy I don't wanna be bothered with. When I say I'm a single mother, I mean single in every aspect. My support system is extremely small. There are women/mothers that get free time. My time is limited. There is no other parent, grandparents, etc.. if I use a babysitter it is someone I trust, knows my kids well, and is used to take care of important business. My mommy time is in the shower, or when folks are asleep! Lol if I use a babysitter for fun, it won't be used to be in a man's face. I wanna use that strictly on myself.

Love comes in different forms. I would like to experience that type of love. Not the love of a companion/man.
I have seen women really enjoying life and having amazing experiences without dating. I used to look down on that. Now I think it's cool.
Click to expand...

Okay I get it. And to the bolded, I agree. I think every single woman should be in this space whether she is looking or not. It is taking the path of least resistance to live in bliss regardless. I know you will find joy in whatever you choose, but don't count out the possibility of a man coming into your life and taking some of that stress off of you. Here's to finding peace in solitude for the moment! :clap:
 
shortdub78 said:
Are there any ladies in this thread that are out of the dating game? Choosing to be without a mate? Gay, straight, fluid, etc it doesn't matter! lol I really don't wanna be in a relationship, or date anymore. all of the energy it takes, and being a single/divorced mom of 3 children with special needs is a lot. I don't wanna be pulled into different directions. I realize I'm not good at multitasking. And I don't wanna have to be on guard constantly questioning someone's intentions with myself, or my children. That used to bother me at first. Like I was resentful that my former partners were able to still live their lives and I had to be the responsible parent. I'm at peace with that now. I get a chance to redefine things and how I see my life. This is a good thing. No bitterness. I don't wanna share my life like that anymore. I wanna dress for me, I wanna cook for me, I wanna learn for me, I wanna do everything for me and be a good example to my children.

I'm signing my son up for a male mentoring program. I'm excited about that. There are other ways I can bring male role models into my sons' lives. I'm gearing up for fall sports. My baby loves his uncle and his cousin. Two men that he can get that male attention bonding from. They are patient with him.
Click to expand...
I swear. I like the attention so I flirt, but I don't feel like getting to know anyone. Most of the time, I'm mfkin tired.
 
I don't think I can listen to my single friends in my city vent anymore, it's effecting my outlook and makes me even more eager to move. I already perceive these dudes here as educated fools, and my girls' stories just add more evidence to support my negative beliefs. I'm trying hard to be open and have an abundance mindset while I'm here.
 
ivyness said:
And like clockwork another ex comes out of the woodwork. He always could make me laugh though and after having a hard week, I'm indulging his attempts to make me laugh.
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Cuffing season is coming! lol they are looking for a warm body to snuggle up to for the winter! This is one of the reasons I deactivated my fb account. I only follow fitness ladies on IG and nobody in my past has my phone number. Exs always come back. Stay getting inboxed. Like exs from 20 years ago! lol
 
sgold04 said:
I don't think I can listen to my single friends in my city vent anymore, it's effecting my outlook and makes me even more eager to move. I already perceive these dudes here as educated fools, and my girls' stories just add more evidence to support my negative beliefs. I'm trying hard to be open and have an abundance mindset while I'm here.
Click to expand...
Maybe you should check out the Rori thread? It seems helpful in focusing on tuning out the negative energy and channeling your feminine energy to work to your advantage. maybe you could venture out of your city and go to different events?
 
ItsMeLilLucky said:
I swear. I like the attention so I flirt, but I don't feel like getting to know anyone. Most of the time, I'm mfkin tired.
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I'm very friendly, and can draw men in, but nope, don't wanna be bothered. I got goals! Men don't allow women to get in their way of accomplishing their goals, since they can compartmentalize things and people, I on the other hand cannot! Lol so being in school, working on getting a home, homeschooling my DD, making sure my boys have a successful school year, growing my hair, trying to decide on a side hustle, etc.. I got things to do!
Can't wait to sing the song I Did It My Way!
 
Men are so annoying!

This man I met last week has been trying to hang out with me. I told him I'm available Thursday and he said ok but he's not available until midnight I tell him that it's too late for me and he asks why...

Because I said so fool! So hes like you don't want to see me? blah blah blah. He feels a way because I am not free until next week.

He keeps saying he knows I like him. I'm like whatever dude. I don't know you well enough to like you but right now you're really annoying. He thinks my personality is an act. I tell him I don't know what to tell him other than good night and I get off the phone.

I don't want to block him because we have friends in common and it's possible I can work with him professionally in the future...but my God! Stfu!


He said so much other nonsense and it is clear he has never met a woman like me or he would shut his trap and relax.
 
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