*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

So last weekend an ex was in town and he wanted to meet up. It had been YEARS since we've seen one another and I know he still has feelings for me. For just a moment I thought that maybe I should give this another try since he is a guaranteed option.

Once we met up I realized why I couldn't bring myself to develop deep feelings for him :nono:. He's annoying and immature. I ended up having to send his behind home because I didn't want him accompanying me to a show I was going to check out later. :lol: What did I ever see in him?
 
Where's that meet and greet thread. Dude asks me what I'm doing Friday and is bringing up places to go. Says this is a "link up", not a date :rolleyes:

I asked him what's the difference, he says we're not having full dinner. Maybe some drinks, an appetizer. And I don't even like him like that, just wanted a new f buddy. But now I'm like he's not even worth the effort because clearly he doesn't think I'm worth the effort either. Such a damn turn off.
 
gimbap said:
Where's that meet and greet thread. Dude asks me what I'm doing Friday and is bringing up places to go. Says this is a "link up", not a date :rolleyes:

I asked him what's the difference, he says we're not having full dinner. Maybe some drinks, an appetizer. And I don't even like him like that, just wanted a new f buddy. But now I'm like he's not even worth the effort because clearly he doesn't think I'm worth the effort either. Such a damn turn off.
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If a man expects to **** me even if it's not a relationship (and I'm cool with that) he better expect to work for it.
 
hopeful said:
@Nelli04
Good for you for saying no. I think it's a numbers game. You gotta keep pushing. Don't spend too much time thinking about the immature, lazy guys. Focus on what it is that you want. I would expect to be taken out on multiple, nice dates before I would even consider cooking for some guy. He can kick rocks :).
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I hate that it is a numbers game, but it truly is. I just wish it was easier, but its extremely hard...especially considering my area. He hasn't been in consideration for something serious for a while, but I decided to use him for the experience.

Daernyris said:
@Nelli04
Beware girl!!!!
That cook for you bit is a test to see how much he can get out of you with the bare minimum coming from him.

You said you haven't gone on what you consider a real date yet. If you start cooking now, you won't ever go on one. That faux offense that he took to what you said is a damn act, wit' his con artist self.
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I agree it was a test, I can tell he is trying to see what he can get me to do for him. He doesn't see the big deal with cooking for him, but he knows now that it is a big deal for me. Now he is saying he wants me to take him out...like WTH, that's even worse. He is definitely helping me figure out what I do not want.

Unfortunately, he is the only halfway decent [black] guy I have met recently. I am having a hard time finding/meeting guys who are on the same level as me financially (among other things), which is frustrating.
 
gimbap said:
Where's that meet and greet thread. Dude asks me what I'm doing Friday and is bringing up places to go. Says this is a "link up", not a date :rolleyes:

I asked him what's the difference, he says we're not having full dinner. Maybe some drinks, an appetizer. And I don't even like him like that, just wanted a new f buddy. But now I'm like he's not even worth the effort because clearly he doesn't think I'm worth the effort either. Such a damn turn off.
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Nelli04 said:
The guy I am "talking" to just asked me to cook for him. We barely know each other and have yet to go on what I would consider a real date. I thought he was kidding so I laughed, but he was serious. I asked what the special occasion was and he said 'it has to be a special occasion?'

So I flat out told him 'If I cook for you, it would have to be for a special occasion" and he took offense to it. I don't know if it is normal for women to cook for men they barely know and who they are not in relationships with, but I won't do it.

I am just getting back into dating, but it seems like most guys want the perks without the commitment or having to put any energy into it.
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d6f.jpg


They really try it, don't they?
 
Nelli04 said:
I hate that it is a numbers game, but it truly is. I just wish it was easier, but its extremely hard...especially considering my area. He hasn't been in consideration for something serious for a while, but I decided to use him for the experience.



I agree it was a test, I can tell he is trying to see what he can get me to do for him. He doesn't see the big deal with cooking for him, but he knows now that it is a big deal for me. Now he is saying he wants me to take him out...like WTH, that's even worse. He is definitely helping me figure out what I do not want.

Unfortunately, he is the only halfway decent [black] guy I have met recently. I am having a hard time finding/meeting guys who are on the same level as me financially (among other things), which is frustrating.
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Cast a much wider net. Do what it takes to get a guy on your level who will treat you well. You have to change your mindset. I read once that you have to assume 9/10 guys are not even close to being the one. When you meet a jerk keep it pushin'. Much of life is a numbers game. It is what it is. There's a whole big world out there filled with men who would love to take you out. Also make sure you can be VERY happy on your own. Love being with you so much you'll be hesitant to share yourself with someone else.
 
hopeful said:
Cast a much wider net. Do what it takes to get a guy on your level who will treat you well. You have to change your mindset. I read once that you have to assume 9/10 guys are not even close to being the one. When you meet a jerk keep it pushin'. Much of life is a numbers game. It is what it is. There's a whole big world out there filled with men who would love to take you out. Also make sure you can be VERY happy on your own. Love being with you so much you'll be hesitant to share yourself with someone else.
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Bolded and quoted for emphasis. This is an awesome sentence!! And how I've been living for the past few years. :yep:
 
Weird things are happening. I got invited to Paris by a fine, rich man who makes my heart race. He invited me because I casually mentioned that I was becoming bored with my current life.

Physician bae is trying to be back on the scene even though he knows the kitchen is closed or maybe because he knows it's closed...idk


I had a close friend who played herself by talking to my childhood sweetheart who she met through me and pretended she didn't know we had a thing. Even though she was in our limo at prom :rolleyes: Anyway, her sexy older brother is in my dms talking about he's always had a thing for me but didn't think I'd be interested...

She's lucky im not spiteful because she would come to her mamas house for Sunday dinner and I'd be there offering her some oxtail.


I don't know what's going on but options are opening up for me and I'm just going to sit back and watch what happens with my legs tightly closed.
 
shespoison said:
Weird things are happening. I got invited to Paris by a fine, rich man who makes my heart race. He invited me because I casually mentioned that I was becoming bored with my current life.

Physician bae is trying to be back on the scene even though he knows the kitchen is closed or maybe because he knows it's closed...idk


I had a close friend who played herself by talking to my childhood sweetheart who she met through me and pretended she didn't know we had a thing. Even though she was in our limo at prom :rolleyes: Anyway, her sexy older brother is in my dms talking about he's always had a thing for me but didn't think I'd be interested...

She's lucky im not spiteful because she would come to her mamas house for Sunday dinner and I'd be there offering her some oxtail.


I don't know what's going on but options are opening up for me and I'm just going to sit back and watch what happens with my legs tightly closed.
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Ohhhhhh juicy developments!!! Sooooo you going to Paris or nah?
 
I'm so annoyed right now. I've never really experienced this whole thing around people thinking something is wrong with you or you're lonely if you don't have a man although I know that it happens...and often. But it just happened to me. I don't need people inviting me out every single day or inviting themselves over to my house whenever they want to because they know I'm single and then getting hurt feelings when I firmly decline.

I told y'all my whole August was taken up with people wanting to do stuff with me right. So I'm looking at the calendar and I have a party to go to next Sunday (kids party). I will also be in Florida from Thursday-Sunday next week but coming back Sunday morning. Cool. How come I get a invite yesterday to "hang at your place that Friday night". They didn't say "are you busy, do you have plans, can we come over" It was just "Friday night we'll hang at your place" And then had the nerve to say she chose Friday because theres a concert she wants to go to with her bf on Saturday. Umm I got ish to do too.

I just say nah I'm good. And she goes. "Aww come on. I don't want you sitting in the house all lonely on a Friday night" :confused: **** whet??? I have a life. It is possible to have one without a man ya know and I'll be in Florida that day so bye. "Ohhhh Florida? Who with?" My response "Byeeeeee girl"

That is annoying as hell. I can't quite articulate how put out I feel by people imposing themselves on me because I'm not seeing anyone. And when you tell them no the attitude is shock like "well you ain't got no man so what else you doing?"
 
I'm not a huge fan of Matthew Hussey. He's just... okay. On the surface he has some great advice but I believe there are ulterior motives there. I have one of his books on Audible and I haven't finished it. He does talk about high value traits from a man's perspective and a lot of it is what we've spoken about on this board. My issue is that when you go beneath some of his surface advice, it feels like he's trying to push long-time single women towards betas. I can't say it is a bad thing, but I don't like how hidden this motive is. Some women will never be able to develop that IT factor that is attractive to alphas, but his blog comments are overrun by too many bitter betas who see him as a hero. I could be reading too much into it.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Ohhhhhh juicy developments!!! Sooooo you going to Paris or nah?
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That's the plan. He's supposed to be letting me know the dates next week. I'll believe it when he buys the ticket.

Also, my ig dms have been poppin lately. Not from randoms either. I have been linking with a lot of creatives and discussing future projects. I met with an artist/Photog whose work I love yesterday and today I'm meetings no with a video producer/Photog after work. My blog has been the best for meeting men who are doing things. (Even though I have been slacking so hard lately)
 
I go through this all the time with coworkers. "Well you have no kids, no husband. You have time to....[insert BS here.]"

Why people feel the need to assume you are nothing and do nothing if you have no man is beyond me and says more about them.




KammyGirl said:
I'm so annoyed right now. I've never really experienced this whole thing around people thinking something is wrong with you or you're lonely if you don't have a man although I know that it happens...and often. But it just happened to me. I don't need people inviting me out every single day or inviting themselves over to my house whenever they want to because they know I'm single and then getting hurt feelings when I firmly decline.

I told y'all my whole August was taken up with people wanting to do stuff with me right. So I'm looking at the calendar and I have a party to go to next Sunday (kids party). I will also be in Florida from Thursday-Sunday next week but coming back Sunday morning. Cool. How come I get a invite yesterday to "hang at your place that Friday night". They didn't say "are you busy, do you have plans, can we come over" It was just "Friday night we'll hang at your place" And then had the nerve to say she chose Friday because theres a concert she wants to go to with her bf on Saturday. Umm I got ish to do too.

I just say nah I'm good. And she goes. "Aww come on. I don't want you sitting in the house all lonely on a Friday night" :confused: **** whet??? I have a life. It is possible to have one without a man ya know and I'll be in Florida that day so bye. "Ohhhh Florida? Who with?" My response "Byeeeeee girl"

That is annoying as hell. I can't quite articulate how put out I feel by people imposing themselves on me because I'm not seeing anyone. And when you tell them no the attitude is shock like "well you ain't got no man so what else you doing?"
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hopeful said:
How have things changed for you since you started living like this?
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I have peace of mind and control of the narrative that is my life. Peace of mind is #1 in my book.

It was a great feeling to be comfortable with my own company and not "need" someone to be happy or have fun. It's quite empowering actually. It's even gotten to a point that I prefer to travel or attend events solo :look: because I know I will always have a wonderful time guaranteed. When I went out on dates, the one thing I consider is if I can see this person as someone who I was OK allowing into my life and shaking up my daily routine. If I was out with someone and all I can think about is getting back to my DVRed reality TV shows, they ain't the one. :lol:

So the biggest changes I felt was that I have no anxiety in trying to find a man. It also helped me be more selective in what I looked for in a man. If I met him, wonderful! If not, then I was still living my best life. :) Hope that makes sense and answered your question @hopeful
 
I am loving the updates in here....

Professionally- I am taking off. I completed the EA exam--- my application is in to the IRS. So I am now a CPA and an EA (beautifully redundant). Going to look into an advanced representation certification, which comes with a trip to Las Vegas next year for a conference. I also completed the IRS Certifying Agent certification (just to have). Trying to finish up QuickBooks and Xero advanced certifications (just to have them as I advertise on their "Find a Bookkeeper" websites). But other than those two, I am DONE with studying. I am itching to go to law school... :(
Now I am going to get more aggressive with networking. I haven't signed the contract with the new client yet. They changed some things so now the audit is for a year (or more)- so more negotiations. But hopefully we come to an understanding next week and we sign so I can start.

And some how between all that, I been spending my time with Lee and entertaining some others on the side. Someone said it on here before--- if a man loves you, you should be able to tell by looking around your house. So very true - roses, my flat screen tv, the perfume, the candy, etc. I think within the last 8 months (since his father died) we have gotten much closer, he reminds me of it. He kissed me on the forehead and told me he was proud of me when I passed my last exam. It made my heart melt.

Seen some new guys online- been chatting back and forth but nothing to take offline.... but I am going to make it a point to get out and network. I want to meet these professional business men and business owners that DC has to offer. I know I keep saying I will get out but I definitely will now seeing how all the licenses I need I have. There is really nothing else for me to do at this point. I need to get out my introverted shell and MEET people. I know I am great entertainment, people enjoy my company---- but I am such a damn introvert. I rather be at home.
 
Excited for tomorrow night. I have my dress picked out and I might even wear heels! I have a feeling he isn't going to dress up and I want him to feel it the whoooooole night.

Our conversations during the week are becoming more serious as well, so I'm hoping tomorrow we can get down to brass tacks and I can start asking the questions on my list. Gonna pick 3 for starters for tomorrow night. Muahahaha....
 
rafikichick92 said:
Excited for tomorrow night. I have my dress picked out and I might even wear heels! I have a feeling he isn't going to dress up and I want him to feel it the whoooooole night.

Our conversations during the week are becoming more serious as well, so I'm hoping tomorrow we can get down to brass tacks and I can start asking the questions on my list. Gonna pick 3 for starters for tomorrow night. Muahahaha....
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What kind of questions do you be asking? *gets ready to take notes*
 
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