*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

DarkJoy said:
Yep. BW gotta stop being everybody's damn mule and Mammy. You start to lose your mind and sense of self. Its not a good look and doesn't help the community nor the individual woman move forward. Do it, say nothing to anyone about your thoughts and plans (cuz they will try and suck you back in) and KIM.

And find YOU. And I'll find me too! Everything will work out in the end!

Love the condo idea!


Dont panic! 40 is not so bad. You in the Dave Ramsey thread for debt freedom? The plan got me out of $80k debt on my 43rd bday. I posted about it in there. Not quite at 40 but I'll take it! It's possible! You can do it and be bikini ready too!:up:
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I am, but I've been struggling with my spending the last few months. I need to get more discipline. It's summer so a lot of going out. My job moving downtown where there are literally HUNDREDS of lunch options has been a problem, I have to reign that in. Cooking more often would help with both the weight and the financial goals.

That is an amazing accomplishment, good for you! :clap::clap:
 
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MzLady78 said:
I am, but I've been struggling with my spending the last few months. I need to get more discipline. It's summer so a lot of going out. My job moving downtown where there are literally HUNDREDS of lunch options has been a problem, I have to reign that in. Cooking more often would help with both the weight and the financial goals.

That is an amazing accomplishment, good for you! :clap::clap:
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shortdub78 said:
@DarkJoy
Wow! You were truly focused! Anything is possible!
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Thanks! If i can do it as a single woman and mother anyone can. @MzLady78 BS1 and 2 are the sacrificing and discipline steps after that it's smooth sailing. Relatively :look: I been way too free with the retail therapy since I finished BS3 :rolleyes: I could certainly be served better by reigning it in and saving towards a condo myself... but hey. the worst is over! I'm free! and you will be too!
 
DarkJoy said:
Yea. No. I mentioned i wanted to go to a movie (not hinting to him but just making conversation) and you'd think a movie trip was akin to a Michelin star restaurant. dude is busted.

Anyhoo, a kid's charity here that I've donated and sent my dd to (why I got the circular) is having a golfing tourney and dinner next month. If you don't play you can skip the tourney and go to dinner.... hmmm... they'll prolly all be married tho....
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My mom just dropped a guy she was "trying to work with" because of something similar. She told me a story that had me cracking up. This woman loves loves loves Red Lobster. Every time we go some place, if there is a Red Lobster close by that is where she wants to go to eat. Lol. She says how can she be in the area and pass up the biscuits and Admiral's Feast? So this man that she was already complaining about picks her up and asks her where she wants to go. She said she is in no mood for something fancy so they can just go to Red Lobster. She said this grown arse 50+ year old man balked at the idea and said "I'm not prepared for no Red Lobster. You said no place fancy". My mother said she looked at him while he carried on and when they pulled up to a light she just got out his car and hailed a cab right on the corner to take her home. :lachen::lachen::lachen: She didn't even say anything to him. Just got out the car. She had me dying. She knows how to block numbers but she said she don't need to. She'll just ignore him until he goes away. After being married to my dad for 20+ years it hasn't been easy for her but she's getting out there.
 
Had a late night last night for my mom's birthday so today was going to be a lazy day with me putting away laundry and getting ready for work tomorrow. So I'm in my room early this morning not doing anything and I hear someone calling my name. I think it's outside because my bedroom window faces the front of the building. It sounds like the super so I ignore it because I don't want to be bothered. And he has a habit of trying to have too much conversation with me. But then I hear the voice louder and I step out of my room and peek around the corner and this man is peeking into my apartment calling my name. I screamed out WHAT THE *%&$ ARE YOU DOING??? He goes "alright alright your door was open and I just wanted to make sure you were here and not out where you left your door open." Thing is I DID NOT leave my door open. I have OCD. Better than it used to be. But without making me sound like a looney toon I have a ritual to ensure my apartment is locked up tight when I go out and when I'm in for the night. So there is NO WAY I left the door open. Next thing. In the summer time my door sticks so when you open and close you need to put quite a bit of force on it. So even if my door did look like it was open someone would have to take hold of my door knob and kinda shoulder their way in. Because the door sticks and does not just open with a twist of the knob even if it's unlocked. He had to have pushed on the door to get it open. WTF???

I've never really worried about this man before because he seemed harmless enough but I am aware he's interested in me because he's always inviting me places and I politely decline. I've never felt like he would do anything to me but this is giving me a bad feeling. Even the last super who was nosy as heck and lived across the hall (this new guy does not live in the building) CALLED ME ON THE PHONE when I left the door propped open while I went to take out the trash to make sure I was the one who did that. He CALLED ME. Even if my door was open which I am certain it was not, this dude has my number. Why not call me on the phone first to see if I'm OK? My building is relatively quiet and I've never ever felt unsafe... until now. Even though this guy does not live in the building I just went to buy a chain guard for the door and will be installing that in a few minutes.
 
KammyGirl said:
I just went to buy a chain guard for the door and will be installing that in a few minutes.
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You may also want to consider getting a security bar for your door too. I live alone and my dad made sure I got one when I moved. I hope your super doesn't intrude like that again. That's really creepy.
b3d6603d-c7e8-4c55-bacf-66ee74fadadd_300.jpg


Link
Link
 
KammyGirl said:
My mom just dropped a guy she was "trying to work with" because of something similar. She told me a story that had me cracking up. This woman loves loves loves Red Lobster. Every time we go some place, if there is a Red Lobster close by that is where she wants to go to eat. Lol. She says how can she be in the area and pass up the biscuits and Admiral's Feast? So this man that she was already complaining about picks her up and asks her where she wants to go. She said she is in no mood for something fancy so they can just go to Red Lobster. She said this grown arse 50+ year old man balked at the idea and said "I'm not prepared for no Red Lobster. You said no place fancy". My mother said she looked at him while he carried on and when they pulled up to a light she just got out his car and hailed a cab right on the corner to take her home. :lachen::lachen::lachen: She didn't even say anything to him. Just got out the car. She had me dying. She knows how to block numbers but she said she don't need to. She'll just ignore him until he goes away. After being married to my dad for 20+ years it hasn't been easy for her but she's getting out there.
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:rofl: son your mom isn't playing any games!
 
Your mom deserves this!!!! Don't accept foolishness!!
Oprah-Gave-Lupita-Nyongo-Standing-Ovation.gif


KammyGirl said:
My mom just dropped a guy she was "trying to work with" because of something similar. She told me a story that had me cracking up. This woman loves loves loves Red Lobster. Every time we go some place, if there is a Red Lobster close by that is where she wants to go to eat. Lol. She says how can she be in the area and pass up the biscuits and Admiral's Feast? So this man that she was already complaining about picks her up and asks her where she wants to go. She said she is in no mood for something fancy so they can just go to Red Lobster. She said this grown arse 50+ year old man balked at the idea and said "I'm not prepared for no Red Lobster. You said no place fancy". My mother said she looked at him while he carried on and when they pulled up to a light she just got out his car and hailed a cab right on the corner to take her home. :lachen::lachen::lachen: She didn't even say anything to him. Just got out the car. She had me dying. She knows how to block numbers but she said she don't need to. She'll just ignore him until he goes away. After being married to my dad for 20+ years it hasn't been easy for her but she's getting out there.
Click to expand...
 
KammyGirl said:
My mom just dropped a guy she was "trying to work with" because of something similar. She told me a story that had me cracking up. This woman loves loves loves Red Lobster. Every time we go some place, if there is a Red Lobster close by that is where she wants to go to eat. Lol. She says how can she be in the area and pass up the biscuits and Admiral's Feast? So this man that she was already complaining about picks her up and asks her where she wants to go. She said she is in no mood for something fancy so they can just go to Red Lobster. She said this grown arse 50+ year old man balked at the idea and said "I'm not prepared for no Red Lobster. You said no place fancy". My mother said she looked at him while he carried on and when they pulled up to a light she just got out his car and hailed a cab right on the corner to take her home. :lachen::lachen::lachen: She didn't even say anything to him. Just got out the car. She had me dying. She knows how to block numbers but she said she don't need to. She'll just ignore him until he goes away. After being married to my dad for 20+ years it hasn't been easy for her but she's getting out there.
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

Like a BOSS!
 
KammyGirl said:
My mom just dropped a guy she was "trying to work with" because of something similar. She told me a story that had me cracking up. This woman loves loves loves Red Lobster. Every time we go some place, if there is a Red Lobster close by that is where she wants to go to eat. Lol. She says how can she be in the area and pass up the biscuits and Admiral's Feast? So this man that she was already complaining about picks her up and asks her where she wants to go. She said she is in no mood for something fancy so they can just go to Red Lobster. She said this grown arse 50+ year old man balked at the idea and said "I'm not prepared for no Red Lobster. You said no place fancy". My mother said she looked at him while he carried on and when they pulled up to a light she just got out his car and hailed a cab right on the corner to take her home. :lachen::lachen::lachen: She didn't even say anything to him. Just got out the car. She had me dying. She knows how to block numbers but she said she don't need to. She'll just ignore him until he goes away. After being married to my dad for 20+ years it hasn't been easy for her but she's getting out there.
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Your mom rocks!!! :lol: :lol:

I kinda wish mine would get out there. She had one long term BF after her and my dad divorced but they split up. He died maybe 2 years ago, if that. Right now, she has my nephew to keep her occupied since my sis and her husband are temporarily living with her. They moved in maybe 6 months after I left so she wan't an empty nester very long, I worry about her being lonely when they're gone.
 
LovinLea said:
:( Well, hopefully he finds me. If not, wasn't meant to be.
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If it's really that serious you can always check your phone records for incoming and outgoing text messages. You won't be able to see the text messages but you can see the number if you know the date and approximate time. My bill shows everything.

Edit - I am not encouraging you seeking a man out in this way. If he's interested I'm sure he'll be in touch.
 
KammyGirl said:
If it's really that serious you can always check your phone records for incoming and outgoing text messages. You won't be able to see the text messages but you can see the number if you know the date and approximate time. My bill shows everything.

Edit - I am not encouraging you seeking a man out in this way. If he's interested I'm sure he'll be in touch.
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I would be surprised if he tried again after me not answering his last couple of texts. I was supposed to meet with him last night but I accidentally deleted his number. SMH.
 
LovinLea said:
I would be surprised if he tried again after me not answering his last couple of texts. I was supposed to meet with him last night but I accidentally deleted his number. SMH.
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I second the phone record suggestion. Otherwise, just let it go and keep it moving. I guarantee you that if he's really interested, he'll pop back up sometime. Just like women will make excuses when a guy disappearing seems out of the norm (he must have lost his phone), a guy who really wants to know you will do the same and try reaching out again.
 
SurferBabe said:
I second the phone record suggestion. Otherwise, just let it go and keep it moving. I guarantee you that if he's really interested, he'll pop back up sometime. Just like women will make excuses when a guy disappearing seems out of the norm (he must have lost his phone), a guy who really wants to know you will do the same and try reaching out again.
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His number is the only one not to show up in my phone records. I prayed about it and now I'll just let what happens happen.
 
I ended up going to the party (more like a family cookout). I met two of his siblings, his mom, and some of his extended family. After we ate, he joined the soccer game and left his little brother, who is 14 and super shy, to keep me company on the sidelines. While we were watching, some uncle or other came up and asked the 14-year-old if I was his girlfriend! I pretended I didn't hear. I guess people aren't lying when they say I look 15.

Overall, I'm glad I went. It injected a bit of reality into the situation for me. Like, do I really want to get mixed up with these people?

OAN, I've come to the conclusion that all of the events from the past 2 weeks have been some kind of test. Not sure what was being tested, but evidently I passed, because we are going on a real date this Friday, lucky for him, though he doesn't know it. Let the games begin! *rubs hands together*
 
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The guy I am "talking" to just asked me to cook for him. We barely know each other and have yet to go on what I would consider a real date. I thought he was kidding so I laughed, but he was serious. I asked what the special occasion was and he said 'it has to be a special occasion?'

So I flat out told him 'If I cook for you, it would have to be for a special occasion" and he took offense to it. I don't know if it is normal for women to cook for men they barely know and who they are not in relationships with, but I won't do it.

I am just getting back into dating, but it seems like most guys want the perks without the commitment or having to put any energy into it.
 
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