*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Some men are raggedy as hell. Then there are some that are decent. On the train minding my business, reading my book, leaning on the door. Doors open and I move to the side so people can get off and come on. I am not in the way. Everyone else manages to get on and off the train without touching me. Dude comes on the train with luggage and pushes me...hard. Then (on purpose I think) shifts his backpack on his back so he can hit me again. The entire time he is on the train he keeps backing up into me and looking to the side because he can see me behind him but doesn't once acknowledge that he is hitting me. His back pack is practically touching me and he is leaning AWAY from the pole he is holding on to. All so he can hit me and push me and jostle me as the train moves. I SWEAR it was on purpose. Because the entire time as he's doing this his black arse is eyeing the Asian girl next to him. And she wasn't paying him no mind anyway. RAGGEDY! As he's getting off the train he takes 2 steps back - practically on top of me now - and bends down to pick up his bags so his book bag could hit me once again. Now I know it's on purpose. Fine dude with a fresh line up next to me takes hold of this raggedy arse dude's back pack and said nice and firm with some bass in his voice "There's a lady behind you bruh". DECENT. I looked over at him and smiled. He flashed his pearly whites back at me and practically pushed the dude off the train. Haha I'm glad he said something so I didn't have to look like a damn fool cussing him out because I was so close.
 
KammyGirl said:
Some men are raggedy as hell. Then there are some that are decent. On the train minding my business, reading my book, leaning on the door. Doors open and I move to the side so people can get off and come on. I am not in the way. Everyone else manages to get on and off the train without touching me. Dude comes on the train with luggage and pushes me...hard. Then (on purpose I think) shifts his backpack on his back so he can hit me again. The entire time he is on the train he keeps backing up into me and looking to the side because he can see me behind him but doesn't once acknowledge that he is hitting me. His back pack is practically touching me and he is leaning AWAY from the pole he is holding on to. All so he can hit me and push me and jostle me as the train moves. I SWEAR it was on purpose. Because the entire time as he's doing this his black arse is eyeing the Asian girl next to him. And she wasn't paying him no mind anyway. RAGGEDY! As he's getting off the train he takes 2 steps back - practically on top of me now - and bends down to pick up his bags so his book bag could hit me once again. Now I know it's on purpose. Fine dude with a fresh line up next to me takes hold of this raggedy arse dude's back pack and said nice and firm with some bass in his voice "There's a lady behind you bruh". DECENT. I looked over at him and smiled. He flashed his pearly whites back at me and practically pushed the dude off the train. Haha I'm glad he said something so I didn't have to look like a damn fool cussing him out because I was so close.
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You're nicer than me. I would have pushed him back
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
Wait, how do you make Kik into a dating app, thought it was a communication app only, like you had to connect to someone via screen name in order to message... This online ish is becoming to much or I am getting wayyy to old...
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I met some guys through Tinder and one of them suggested it to me. There's some public groups too, but I haven't joined any yet.
 
Great advice!
UniquelyDivine said:
G.L Lambert responded.


The main thing that sticks out is "that card has been a point of interest before". Which means that it has been in his room for some time and you aren't the first girl to react to it this way. Maybe it's sentimental, maybe it's a power play to get a reaction out of women that enter his room or to keep them on their toes. Regardless of his true motive, I think he feels guilty for playing that game in the first place. I'm assume the first or last girl before you that saw that card probably bought it up to his face, you didn't bring it up you snooped then called him out on your theory. I think you triggered that guilt because maybe he is holding on alternatively if it is just for "color" then you push the button that it's a stupid thing to have in your room once you have a girlfriend. The point being, this is a fresh relationship, you guys are still virtual strangers, and for some men it's hard to mature out of ******** like old cards in the room as reaction starters.

I don't think you were cold via text about the sermon, it wasn't a vibe, he was projecting because of his shame. It's not about the card, it's about him not knowing how to be a boyfriend or at least being humbled by the new rules that comes with being someone's man. No one teaches guys these things, that they don't yank on the emotions of girls they like or push the buttons of women they commit to like they do girls they are simply dating or sleeping with. His distance is all about guilt and shame because he doesn't want to admit that it was foolish to have it there in the first place.

The only conversation you can have to get past this is to make it no longer about the card but about empathy. This is what should be said, "Don't think I'm upset about the card itself or that it's jealousy or suspicion. This is a new experience for the both of us and I think it's important to be transparent more than usual because we don't actually know each other to the point of trust. Put yourself in my shoes, how could you not react to that image with questions? I buy your reason, but now that we're together I would hope you would either remove something like that or tell me with full honesty the story behind it before I see something like that which can't help but cause suspicion. I don't want to come off as jealous, so I'll be sure to ask and not assume, but we both have to be open about communicating, not about a stupid card, but anything that raises mystery." Now you can put that in your words and break it down, but the message is to make this about what you expect as a girlfriend, because clearly he doesn't know what the rules are if he's holding on to old cards even after it's come up before.
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KammyGirl said:
Some men are raggedy as hell. Then there are some that are decent. On the train minding my business, reading my book, leaning on the door. Doors open and I move to the side so people can get off and come on. I am not in the way. Everyone else manages to get on and off the train without touching me. Dude comes on the train with luggage and pushes me...hard. Then (on purpose I think) shifts his backpack on his back so he can hit me again. The entire time he is on the train he keeps backing up into me and looking to the side because he can see me behind him but doesn't once acknowledge that he is hitting me. His back pack is practically touching me and he is leaning AWAY from the pole he is holding on to. All so he can hit me and push me and jostle me as the train moves. I SWEAR it was on purpose. Because the entire time as he's doing this his black arse is eyeing the Asian girl next to him. And she wasn't paying him no mind anyway. RAGGEDY! As he's getting off the train he takes 2 steps back - practically on top of me now - and bends down to pick up his bags so his book bag could hit me once again. Now I know it's on purpose. Fine dude with a fresh line up next to me takes hold of this raggedy arse dude's back pack and said nice and firm with some bass in his voice "There's a lady behind you bruh". DECENT. I looked over at him and smiled. He flashed his pearly whites back at me and practically pushed the dude off the train. Haha I'm glad he said something so I didn't have to look like a damn fool cussing him out because I was so close.
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This made me so angry. I am SO SICK of these mitch-made negroes out here.

Kudos to that brotha for stepping in.
 
Soccer Guy is an interesting one. He keeps inviting me to do things with his family/friends. First it was his cousin's birthday, then it was the soccer tournament, yesterday he invited me to his friend's wedding next month IN TEXAS, and today it's some party his family is having tomorrow. Gracious! So far I've said no each time. I told him I have plans for tomorrow evening, but that I'd think about the party tomorrow.

Date with the other guy was just blah. He's a good conversationalist, but socially awkward and kinda arrogant. I'm sure tonight's date with Soccer Guy will be something else as per usual. I might have to restart my blog, lol.
 
rafikichick92 said:
Soccer Guy is an interesting one. He keeps inviting me to do things with his family/friends. First it was his cousin's birthday, then it was the soccer tournament, yesterday he invited me to his friend's wedding next month IN TEXAS, and today it's some party his family is having tomorrow. Gracious! So far I've said no each time. I told him I have plans for tomorrow evening, but that I'd think about the party tomorrow.

Date with the other guy was just blah. He's a good conversationalist, but socially awkward and kinda arrogant. I'm sure tonight's date with Soccer Guy will be something else as per usual. I might have to restart my blog, lol.
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How many times have you been out with soccer guy? I'm not liking his ideas for dates. Where are the one on one activities just you and him to get to know each other?
 
KammyGirl said:
How many times have you been out with soccer guy? I'm not liking his ideas for dates. Where are the one on one activities just you and him to get to know each other?
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I'm right there with you. We've only been on two dates, this week and last week. We went to basic restaurants, but I like some basic restaurants :look:. I am definitely all about going out on real dates like out to eat and to activities.

We kinda got off to a weird start because we started talking right as I started my new job and I was out of town for 3 weeks for training, so we were texting and calling for about a month, and have only now started actually going on dates. Like I got back 2 Saturdays ago and we've gone out last Saturday and today.
 
ivyness said:
So much drama this weekend with ex, guy no 1. Begged and pleaded for me to accept his apology and that he would treat me right now that I had told him what I expected. Ended with him stuck in my apartment stairwell early this morning trying to surprise me with a hot chocolate his car getting towed and him owing 400 dollars to get it out. I agreed to give him another chance and go out with him on Friday. Most expensive hot chocolate ever.
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Update: so I asked to reschedule the date as I was exhausted and had a big night scheduled the following day (planning bffs hens night). He insisted on seeing me and came over with wine, cheese olives and dips (all my faves and I swear I had not told him) and we sat and talked till midnight. And a teddy bear that he insisted be named after him. What made me lol was that he said he spent hours looking for a unicorn but couldn't find one so got the teddy bear. This is a white boy who knows nothing about LHCF unicorns so I don't even know how he is getting it so right. I'm looking forward to this trip because I need to get away from this man before I get attached again!
 
rafikichick92 said:
I'm right there with you. We've only been on two dates, this week and last week. We went to basic restaurants, but I like some basic restaurants :look:. I am definitely all about going out on real dates like out to eat and to activities.

We kinda got off to a weird start because we started talking right as I started my new job and I was out of town for 3 weeks for training, so we were texting and calling for about a month, and have only now started actually going on dates. Like I got back 2 Saturdays ago and we've gone out last Saturday and today.
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Could be because you two have been in contact for a while so you probably don't feel like strangers. But he needs to remember that you are still strangers and he's still in the vetting phase. He better plan some real dates!
 
DarkJoy said:
the last on the roster who didn't get a nickname is off the list. unless he can very quickly (next 48hrs) prove he has something going on.

Just told me 5 mins ago he drives Uber/Lyft full time. Unless I can suss out that he's wealthy and just filling his time, going ghost.

Doesn't seem to be a shortage of 45 or older life wasters here. geez!
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Yea. No. I mentioned i wanted to go to a movie (not hinting to him but just making conversation) and you'd think a movie trip was akin to a Michelin star restaurant. dude is busted.

Anyhoo, a kid's charity here that I've donated and sent my dd to (why I got the circular) is having a golfing tourney and dinner next month. If you don't play you can skip the tourney and go to dinner.... hmmm... they'll prolly all be married tho....
 
DarkJoy said:
Exactly. Me too. If anything bw are TOO empathetic and it's caused us no shortage of pronlems. it's, in part, how we end up getting got.
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I was dragged so far down into the rabbit hole of despair yesterday, that it was just so shameful! I'm so sick of caring, analyizing, taking in other folks drama, being sucked in by foolishness! It's not just men either! It's the women too! I gotta work on me! I gotta figure me out! I gotta put all of that care and energy into ME!
 
shortdub78 said:
I'm right behind you! lol I wanna look good and have my ish in order by next year. I got 8 months! It's going to be our year! Forget 2017! Lol our present is what builds our future!
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Yeah, my goal is to be in a bikini during my birthday trip to Mexico. :lol:

In addition to getting debt free and building my savings, I wanna start putting money away for my nephew. Since kids of my own isn't happening, I can step up my Titi game.

I need to start thinking about my long term housing situation as well, like do I wanna try to buy something eventually, does it even make sense at this point.
 
MzLady78 said:
Yeah, my goal is to be in a bikini during my birthday trip to Mexico. :lol:

In addition to getting debt free and building my savings, I wanna start putting money away for my nephew. Since kids of my own isn't happening, I can step up my Titi game.

I need to start thinking about my long term housing situation as well, like do I wanna try to buy something eventually, does it even make sense at this point.
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I have been trying to work on buying a condo. It's right in the school district my kids attend now, it really nice and affordable. That's what I really want. Everything that I set in motion to obtain is not moving in the direction and pace I'm trying to go in. I may need to consider other options. Im working on my credit too. I wanna wear a tiny dress for my birthday and I want my hair to be BSL, or longer? Lol so we got some major stuff we need to stay focused on! Our year is coming!
 
shortdub78 said:
I have been trying to work on buying a condo. It's right in the school district my kids attend now, it really nice and affordable. That's what I really want. Everything that I set in motion to obtain is not moving in the direction and pace I'm trying to go in. I may need to consider other options. Im working on my credit too. I wanna wear a tiny dress for my birthday and I want my hair to be BSL, or longer? Lol so we got some major stuff we need to stay focused on! Our year is coming!
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How could I forgot my hair aspirations?! :lol: I definitely haven't seen the growth I'd like, I gotta work on taking better care of it.

I'm rooting for you to reach ALL your goals! Let's do this!
 
shortdub78 said:
I was dragged so far down into the rabbit hole of despair yesterday, that it was just so shameful! I'm so sick of caring, analyizing, taking in other folks drama, being sucked in by foolishness! It's not just men either! It's the women too! I gotta work on me! I gotta figure me out! I gotta put all of that care and energy into ME!
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Yep. BW gotta stop being everybody's damn mule and Mammy. You start to lose your mind and sense of self. Its not a good look and doesn't help the community nor the individual woman move forward. Do it, say nothing to anyone about your thoughts and plans (cuz they will try and suck you back in) and KIM.

And find YOU. And I'll find me too! Everything will work out in the end!

Love the condo idea!

MzLady78 said:
I'm having a "6 months away from 40" crisis.

I need to get my finance is order. That's really all I care about right now. Oh, and losing weight. The man situation is whatever.
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Dont panic! 40 is not so bad. You in the Dave Ramsey thread for debt freedom? The plan got me out of $80k debt on my 43rd bday. I posted about it in there. Not quite at 40 but I'll take it! It's possible! You can do it and be bikini ready too!:up:
 
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