Evolving78
Well-Known Member
It's like a vampire is around.
Feeling the same. I'm so through and morning aint even done...
*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*
- Thread starter DarkJoy
- Start date
shespoison
Well-Known Member
I hung out with physician bae again yesterday.
He was talking about work and I was just watching him thinking about how fine he is.
There is so much I like about him. I mentioned how the first time we went out I lost my Fitbit. And he's like how much?
He was late getting back to work and I thought I was taking the train. He shows me his phone and he already ordered my Uber. I love how I don't have to ask him for anything. If he thinks I need/want something he is on it.
All this kind of doesn't matter because I know he isn't ready to settle down. We are not even having sex. I literally just hang out with him because his energy is nice and I like looking at him. Sad.
I'm not worried about getting too caught up because I always have a few in rotation.
He was talking about work and I was just watching him thinking about how fine he is.
There is so much I like about him. I mentioned how the first time we went out I lost my Fitbit. And he's like how much?
He was late getting back to work and I thought I was taking the train. He shows me his phone and he already ordered my Uber. I love how I don't have to ask him for anything. If he thinks I need/want something he is on it.
All this kind of doesn't matter because I know he isn't ready to settle down. We are not even having sex. I literally just hang out with him because his energy is nice and I like looking at him. Sad.
I'm not worried about getting too caught up because I always have a few in rotation.
SurferBabe
Well-Known Member
We're "official" now so I would feel a lil bad entertaining other men but my Mama has ALWAYS told me, "Keep your options open", so I 'm open to the idea
I have no issue with risking the dick & I actually sent an email to the MDLWLY author because I wanted to see what he would say about it
I dun told you... you have to be a savage in Texas. There is no other way to deal with the dudes down there. I don't care if ol' dude is a native or transplant-- Texas is alpha central and men down there are masters at the game. I got stung down there once and I said never again! Get your roster back poppin' and tell ol' boy to get back in line. You're a bad chick in Dallas AND it is summer time? Shooot, I'd have a cold a$$ roster going through the holidays
look. This is your life and your heart we're talking about here. This man is still a stranger and IMO hasn't done enough to prove that he should have exclusive access to you-- especially in a city like Dallas where a spartan can clean house. If he's genuinely interested, then you putting yourself first isn't going to run him away. It's going to make him respect you. Trust me on this. Forget everything you learned back home. Welcome to Texas.
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
I dun told you... you have to be a savage in Texas. There is no other way to deal with the dudes down there. I don't care if ol' dude is a native or transplant-- Texas is alpha central and men down there are masters at the game. I got stung down there once and I said never again! Get your roster back poppin' and tell ol' boy to get back in line. You're a bad chick in Dallas AND it is summer time? Shooot, I'd have a cold a$$ roster going through the holidays
You're totally right, I have a bad habit of putting others feelings over my own.
Back to heauxin
greight
Well-Known Member
You're totally right, I have a bad habit of putting others feelings over my own.
Back to heauxin
Respect
I'm dating someone right now who is in pursuit, but I'm developing a roster as a result so that if he ask for commitment, my answer is simple: I don't do any commitments other than marriage. Men just get complacent sometimes and it's important to be ruthlessly selfish when marriage does more for men than it does for women.
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
Respect
I'm dating someone right now who is in pursuit, but I'm developing a roster as a result so that if he ask for commitment, my answer is simple: I don't do any commitments other than marriage. Men just get complacent sometimes and it's important to be ruthlessly selfish when marriage does more for men than it does for women.
That is so real and true, I realize I've been conditioned to think that exclusive = commitment and that's soooo not the case. I've been good at preaching "keep your options open" to my homegirls but failed to take my own advice smh.
So do you plan on continuing to date the other guys on your roster indefinitely? When do these other cats get cut off? I guess my other issue comes from not wanting him to date
other women, I feel like it's a do as I say, not as I do situation
I am so not in the mood to be at work today and almost stayed home. I ended up spending more than half the day on here, part of the day listening Rori Raye's Love Scripts for Dating and the rest trying to decide which Vitamix I want. I'm bored so I will be leaving now and taking myself to Red Lobster. Dating myself is fun. I get to go where I want every single time.
ItsMeLilLucky
NotLucky no mo' just blessed.
Why did this guy swear up and down that I used to work at this CVS pharmacy? He was drunk though *sideeye* ughhhhh
ItsMeLilLucky
NotLucky no mo' just blessed.
I almost stayed home today too, but I already stayed home last Saturday.
Girl I called out of the office 7/11, 7/24 and was about to do it today with not a care in the world. Maybe I'll stay home tomorrow. I just don't like working here anymore.
ItsMeLilLucky
NotLucky no mo' just blessed.
I still have hella bills so I can't exercise that option yet
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
So it's just one of those days huh? Lol
I really need to talk myself into doing my school work. I was suppose to go out today. I need to get started on this baby blanket, hat, and booties. I'm not having red lobster, but I pulled some shrimp out of the freezer! Lol
I got 30 days to finish two classes! You got any motivational tips? lol somebody to stand over and threaten me? Lol
greight
Well-Known Member
That is so real and true, I realize I've been conditioned to think that exclusive = commitment and that's soooo not the case. I've been good at preaching "keep your options open" to my homegirls but failed to take my own advice smh.
So do you plan on continuing to date the other guys on your roster indefinitely? When do these other cats get cut off? I guess my other issue comes from not wanting him to date
other women, I feel like it's a do as I say, not as I do situation
They cut themselves off
I'm trying to pull a Rori Raye and say that I want to continue dating to not put pressure on the relationship since my goal is marriage and not just exclusivity. Both he and I don't know where this is going to end up so...
I will say that I have NOT done this yet and it's one of those things that I'm nervous about bc I know some guys will flip out lol
qchelle
Well-Known Member
I took off today and bought some crab dip and crushed the whole thing lol. But I put in my 2wks a week ago, so I couldn't care less at this point lol.
sgold04
Well-Known Member
@UniquelyDivine @greight there was a thread I read a few weeks ago where some married ladies dropped knowledge about how they kept a roster while "exclusive", I wish I could remember what the thread was originally about, it was an ooold thread that was bumped, it wasn't the one where the woman waited for engagement to be exclusive. One person said she had men she continued to text and talk to sporadically, the other one went on dates, but said these men were friends when her boo now husband found out. I've never had a roster when I'm really into someone, so I know I'd feel uncomfortable going on dates with other men if we say we're exclusive...but I can't continue to think like that. I can only do it when I don't care about naan one of them.
@UniquelyDivine Im sending positive vibes your way, but his behavior definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. I called it quits with a manipulative man a couple of months ago, and this raised multiple red flags for me. Hopefully he had a momentary lapse in maturity and it's not a sign of much bigger issues.
@UniquelyDivine Im sending positive vibes your way, but his behavior definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. I called it quits with a manipulative man a couple of months ago, and this raised multiple red flags for me. Hopefully he had a momentary lapse in maturity and it's not a sign of much bigger issues.
rafikichick92
Well-Known Member
Ugh. Why did I ever want to date again? Homeboy wants me to go watch him play soccer on Saturday then hang out afterwards as a date. Um, what? I'm insulted he had the audacity to even voice that as an idea. I told him, no; we can see each other after he's done. We'll see what happens. 
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
They cut themselves off
I'm trying to pull a Rori Raye and say that I want to continue dating to not put pressure on the relationship since my goal is marriage and not just exclusivity. Both he and I don't know where this is going to end up so...
I will say that I have NOT done this yet and it's one of those things that I'm nervous about bc I know some guys will flip out lol
This is why I get confused, I don't know what the guidelines are for this but it makes total sense! I feel like a true alpha won't be down for it but if he's not stepping up or acting brand new (like in my case) then all's fair.
*Kanye shrug*
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
I'm the same way
but I'm trying to get in to that "keep a roster" mindset because I tend to cut dudes off & give loyalty waaaaay too fast when I'm exclusive with someone, it makes total sense to me though. It's just a matter of putting it into action and figuring out what the boundaries are 
I'm going out this evening with my homegirl and if I get a number I'll definitely be using it. I hope it was just a fluke too but I don't put nothing past these fool's, I've definitely been cool on him since then, it gave me a dose of reality.
I sent an email to G.L Lambert and I'm anxious to read his response
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I'm sick of being a cheerleader too! lol Glad you told him how you felt!Ugh. Why did I ever want to date again? Homeboy wants me to go watch him play soccer on Saturday then hang out afterwards as a date. Um, what? I'm insulted he had the audacity to even voice that as an idea. I told him, no; we can see each other after he's done. We'll see what happens.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I would go old school and let them know dating is just what it is. Unless a man in ready to court you for marriage, you won't be tied down. It's time to fill your dance card up. breaking up sucks, and having to go through that process over and over, having to readjust yourself over and over is exhausting. Date and have fun. If a man wants to lock you down, he better be ready! Not getting ready!I'm the same way
I hope it was just a fluke too but I don't put nothing past these fool's, I've definitely been cool on him since then, it gave me a dose of reality.
I sent an email to G.L Lambert and I'm anxious to read his response
Haha I went out with a guy once and before we had a 2nd date he asked me to come to some damn capoiera tournament or whatever. I was like umm no sir I will not be doing that. I realized later he just wanted me to come so he could show off for me. I did not oblige but I understood why he asked.Ugh. Why did I ever want to date again? Homeboy wants me to go watch him play soccer on Saturday then hang out afterwards as a date. Um, what? I'm insulted he had the audacity to even voice that as an idea. I told him, no; we can see each other after he's done. We'll see what happens.
Right. That's why I can get behind the roster because breaking up suuuuucks!!! This way we don't break up. They just kinda drop off and that's ok with me. Diva creed to live by.
Date at least 3
Keep the focus on me
Treat them all equally
Til I say yes to a ring.
sgold04
Well-Known Member
I'm the same way
I hope it was just a fluke too but I don't put nothing past these fool's, I've definitely been cool on him since then, it gave me a dose of reality.
I sent an email to G.L Lambert and I'm anxious to read his response
We're Leo's, it's what we do
I'm curious to hear his response too
rafikichick92
Well-Known Member
It wasn't even that. I'm just picturing myself sitting all alone on the bleachers, burning to death in the blazing hot sun playing on my phone and trying to pretend I understand what's going on. Can you say not sexy?
Awww, thanks for this perspective! I'm still glad I said no because of what I said to ShortDub78, but this makes me feel better. You're probably right, especially knowing how obsessed he is with soccer. I was looking at the phone like, I thought you liked me!!
sgold04
Well-Known Member
I guess I'll give an update since my flight is delayed. I'd appreciate your input ladies.
I met a guy. He's typical of what I find here: college educated, high paying career, owns a home (had it custom built), wants to settle down, and he's really into me. He's attractive I suppose, looks just like Ice Cube lol. The problem is I don't find him interesting, intellectually. He's a simple dude. Goes to work and then goes home and smokes cigars on his porch. Rinse and repeat. Doesn't read, watches sports only, etc. I'm an introvert so I can be a homebody, and I'm a football and basketball fan, but I need convo that's A LOT more stimulating. We don't need to discuss esoteric stuff all the time, but I need bae to have the capacity to + some wit. Normally I'd cut him off, but I'm thinking maybe this is the marrying type, and I'm trying to figure out if I can be content with someone like him.
Here is where I'd like your input. Am I being unrealistic to want a smart, funny, witty, handsome, masculine, gainfully employed, well-endowed, down-to-earth man who has a provider mentality, believes in monogamy AND respects and values women (not misogynistic)? Half of the women in my life tell me that man doesn't exist, and half tell me if I just have faith, it will happen. I dunno, I'm a sociologist by training and I know many of these characteristics combined in one man seem to be pretty rare in patriarchal cultures...which is why I'm thinking I should just give up and marry Mr. Basic
ETA: forgot to add reflective, thoughtful, and caring.
I met a guy. He's typical of what I find here: college educated, high paying career, owns a home (had it custom built), wants to settle down, and he's really into me. He's attractive I suppose, looks just like Ice Cube lol. The problem is I don't find him interesting, intellectually. He's a simple dude. Goes to work and then goes home and smokes cigars on his porch. Rinse and repeat. Doesn't read, watches sports only, etc. I'm an introvert so I can be a homebody, and I'm a football and basketball fan, but I need convo that's A LOT more stimulating. We don't need to discuss esoteric stuff all the time, but I need bae to have the capacity to + some wit. Normally I'd cut him off, but I'm thinking maybe this is the marrying type, and I'm trying to figure out if I can be content with someone like him.
Here is where I'd like your input. Am I being unrealistic to want a smart, funny, witty, handsome, masculine, gainfully employed, well-endowed, down-to-earth man who has a provider mentality, believes in monogamy AND respects and values women (not misogynistic)? Half of the women in my life tell me that man doesn't exist, and half tell me if I just have faith, it will happen. I dunno, I'm a sociologist by training and I know many of these characteristics combined in one man seem to be pretty rare in patriarchal cultures...which is why I'm thinking I should just give up and marry Mr. Basic
ETA: forgot to add reflective, thoughtful, and caring.
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Evolving78
Well-Known Member
What I said relates to more of what Kammygirl stated. I was/am arm candy. I'm have a very spunky and supportive spirit. I have always been invited to practices, games, etc. I'm tired of being a cheerleader in every aspect. I don't wanna be bothered and it is very centered around that person's ego. It's not about you. you get to see him in action. You get a personal view of him in his element (being athlete, masculine, commanding, whatever) he gets to show you off to the guys. Every woman doesn't get invited to things like this. There is something physically special about you. I could go on, but yeah if that's not your cup of tea, then don't go. I didn't like sitting on the bleachers in a funky gym or on a field, dressed cute, wearing heels. Then they wanna go out on a real date afterwards? No thanks! Lol I'm a grown woman, not a teenager.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I love having intellectual conversations, so that would be a no for me. I love to learn interesting things and listen to a different perspective.
Do you have people in your circle that you can get this sort of stimulation from? Do you feel you would be settling? What is most that you need and want from a potential mate? That would be one of the top things on my list.
I don't understand why men are interested in women like that? I get it, but I don't get it.
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UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
We're Leo's, it's what we do
I'm curious to hear his response too
A gift and a curse
Y'all will be the first to know
To this entire post!!! I love this creed
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