*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

MzLady78 said:
Yikes, so glad you're alright @HappyMadison!

He seems like a good guy, I hope things continue to go well.
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shortdub78 said:
@HappyMadison glad you are ok.
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ItsMeLilLucky said:
@HappyMadison Glad you're not seriously injured.
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quirkydimples said:
Same. Glad you're ok @HappyMadison
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Thank you! I wasn't roughed up too bad, cosmetic wise. Just bruising on my knee. I having neck, back, a hip trouble. His lawyer said take advantage of it by resting, so that is what I am doing.
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As far as Jah, that is his personality honestly. In business and personal relationships. I told him it is okay to express disappointment. Because his stress is manifesting physically (dropped his management, events, children, album), and the accident puts on a new layer. Even when I say I can take care of myself. My Saab (my baby!), the pressure hose burst and he kept offering his car. I refused it for weeks! My reasoning for eventually taking him up on his offer was to let him "be a man," because I am always turning down food, gifts, access to house.

Now, I am laid up in his house, eating his food lol. So the universe has a funny way of knocking the ego out of me. He says he has it handled so I am going to quit prying into his emotional state. That we are more than good and, of course, he loves me, I guess.

Just so much movement in both our lives right now. This did not happen at a time I would pick, but I trust everything will be okay.
 
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This is more of a random thought, than relationship thought but we don't have such a thread, so here I am lol.

Ever since Essence Fest I have been obsessed with moving to the southern US. Living in my current city is so bizarre, it's 90+% white and I'm over it. I'm here for 3 more years because of school, but I plan to use some of my travel time to explore the US. Next up is Houston! I'm looking for a city that is BLACK, warm, has a decent male:female ratio, fun for a young professional, friendly etc... Maybe I'll start a thread in OT.
 
@HappyMadison

So glad you are okay! Don't overthink it. I lost someone very close to me in a car accident a couple of years ago, and since then... I've realized that none of this material stuff matters. A totaled car? Oh well. You have your life and no serious injuries. A car can be replaced. Jah might have the same mentality, and it is possible that he really isn't disappointed, just happy you are still here. Just chill and let it be.
 
KiSseS03 said:
This is more of a random thought, than relationship thought but we don't have such a thread, so here I am lol.

Ever since Essence Fest I have been obsessed with moving to the southern US. Living in my current city is so bizarre, it's 90+% white and I'm over it. I'm here for 3 more years because of school, but I plan to use some of my travel time to explore the US. Next up is Houston! I'm looking for a city that is BLACK, warm, has a decent male:female ratio, fun for a young professional, friendly etc... Maybe I'll start a thread in OT.
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Go for it! You should check out Dallas and Charlotte as well. Houston is awesome and you'll love it there.

It's funny because I'm in the opposite position. I'm so ready to leave the south. I grew up here and I'm ready to explore something else-- mainly out west. I know that finding a black man will be even tougher out there-- but the west vibes with me as far as lifestyle goes, and I'm focused on me right now. I feel like a fish out of water in the south.
 
Is there anybody out there that doesn't want a romantic relationship? Doesn't wanna date either? I'm starting to get excited about my new life and I just don't see a man involved in it, I mean not in a romantic way. I finally wanna be free and not have to worry about anyone but my family. I wanna do things for myself. I used to think certain women I knew who lived like that were bitter. Yes, they got burned bad, but they are happy. i was taught through example that being alone wasn't an option. Neither one of my parents were alone for long after their divorce. I really just don't wanna be bothered anymore.
I'm going into another decade of my life and I want it to be all about ME! lol
 
shortdub78 said:
Is there anybody out there that doesn't want a romantic relationship? Doesn't wanna date either? I'm starting to get excited about my new life and I just don't see a man involved in it, I mean not in a romantic way. I finally wanna be free and not have to worry about anyone but my family. I wanna do things for myself. I used to think certain women I knew who lived like that were bitter. Yes, they got burned bad, but they are happy. i was taught through example that being alone wasn't an option. Neither one of my parents were alone for long after their divorce. I really just don't wanna be bothered anymore.
I'm going into another decade of my life and I want it to be all about ME! lol
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Funny how we're the same age and frequently at the same point in life.

I go back and forth, but lean towards "no" more often than not. I'm just feeling drained. The stuff with my ex and ole dude, man, I can't even put into words the damage those 2 have done. I don't know that I have anything left to give right now.

I'm not saying I've given up completely, and maybe I just need more time since this all just happened at the beginning of the year. But I need to focus on me for awhile. I'm back in school, trying to get myself straight financially, I'm concerned about my nephew as he's been recently diagnosed with Autism, I just don't have the energy for men and their nonsense.
 
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MzLady78 said:
Funny how we're the same age and frequently at the same point in life.

I go back and forth, but lean towards "no" more often than not. I'm just feeling drained right now. The stuff with my ex and ole dude, man, I can't even put into words the damage those 2 have done. I don't know that I have anything left to give right now.

I'm not saying I've given up completely, and maybe I just need more time since this all just happened at the beginning of the year. But I need to focus on me right now. I'm back in school, trying to get myself straight financially, I'm concerned about my nephew as he's been recently diagnosed with Autism, I just don't have the energy for men and their nonsense.
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Wow! You are so right about us, even down to your nephew! I'm in school, I'm working on my finances, I'm working on getting a new home, I have these children with special needs, I wanna get in shape, I got all of this stuff going on for myself, I don't see how somebody else fits into that.
I listened to Jill Scott's Slowly, Surely live, and Whenever You're Around.
I don't think I have been truly loved by a man in my adult life. They loved what I represented to them, but they didn't love me.

They didn't love me. I loved them though, or did I? I compromised a lot, and I went overboard trying to prove I was the perfect woman for them. That's why after certain relationships I felt drained and having to start over again. It didn't feel like life went on. If felt like having to start from point A again. Just a vicious cycle.
I wanna break the cycle. I don't wanna get to know anybody. I don't have the time. It would take a special, totally selfless man to want to be a part of my life. He ain't out there. My life is centered around me and mine. Where does he fit into that? At Midnight? I should be sleep, or that might be the only time I have to self! Lol now I gotta share that too? No thanks!
 
Went to a small birthday party this past weekend, under 30 people. Met this guy :) 34, attorney, nerd and an athlete, cute, confident. I didn't dance with him. Before my first drink, four guys had already tapped me and I could see them watching me. It makes me nervous SMH. I gave him my number, though. We spent the night talking. My friend I went with was annoyed with me lol.

But the texts are very dry. And he lives all the way in Brooklyn.
 
I've been single now for almost 1.5 years. At times I have absolutely HATED it, and have felt incredibly lonely on a few occasions. Overall it's been really great for me though. I made major career moves, and was really able to focus during my first year of medicine. I'm moving into the most authentic version of myself and I really feel that I know me now. I took amazing care of me, and learned to really love my body. I have never felt more beautiful than I have in the past year, and I've been told that I'm glowing... I guess it's happiness. I have always had a lot of great girlfriends but this 1.5 year period has really strengthened some bonds. I live in a very white city and it's tough at times, but I have found some Black sister friends that have made this world manageable.

I travelled a lot, and met a lot of men, and I'm honing in on the qualities that I want. I reaffirmed that Black men are the prototype. I have realized that as much as I love me a Tenderoni (younger guy/early-mid 20s) they typically do not have the maturity and desire for commitment that I want. I realized how important intellectual stimulation is for me in a partner. I also realized that I need someone who consistently makes an effort to show me that I'm important. I've actually developed a little checklist to keep me accountable now when dating, because FINE, smooth-talking men are a struggle for me. Lol. I have never believed that you have to be the "perfect" woman to meet the right person; the work I have put in has been for me, because I was coming off of 5 years of mediocre love. I'm in a good place now. Totally ready for love.
 
KiSseS03 said:
I've been single now for almost 1.5 years. At times I have absolutely HATED it, and have felt incredibly lonely on a few occasions. Overall it's been really great for me though. I made major career moves, and was really able to focus during my first year of medicine. I'm moving into the most authentic version of myself and I really feel that I know me now. I took amazing care of me, and learned to really love my body. I have never felt more beautiful than I have in the past year, and I've been told that I'm glowing... I guess it's happiness. I have always had a lot of great girlfriends but this 1.5 year period has really strengthened some bonds. I live in a very white city and it's tough at times, but I have found some Black sister friends that have made this world manageable.

I travelled a lot, and met a lot of men, and I'm honing in on the qualities that I want. I reaffirmed that Black men are the prototype. I have realized that as much as I love me a Tenderoni (younger guy/early-mid 20s) they typically do not have the maturity and desire for commitment that I want. I realized how important intellectual stimulation is for me in a partner. I also realized that I need someone who consistently makes an effort to show me that I'm important. I've actually developed a little checklist to keep me accountable now when dating, because FINE, smooth-talking men are a struggle for me. Lol. I have never believed that you have to be the "perfect" woman to meet the right person; the work I have put in has been for me, because I was coming off of 5 years of mediocre love. I'm in a good place now. Totally ready for love.
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This is wonderful! You are an inspiration! I'm happy for you, and know the right one will come along in due time!
 
LovinLea said:
Went to a small birthday party this past weekend, under 30 people. Met this guy :) 34, attorney, nerd and an athlete, cute, confident. I didn't dance with him. Before my first drink, four guys had already tapped me and I could see them watching me. It makes me nervous SMH. I gave him my number, though. We spent the night talking. My friend I went with was annoyed with me lol.

But the texts are very dry. And he lives all the way in Brooklyn.
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Have you talked to him on the phone?
 
KammyGirl said:
Is this the guy you met a Michael's or the other guy who came to visit you on your lunch break. I'm trying to keep everybody menz straight. lol
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Lunch break :2inlove:

Son the dude from Michaels? He's so corny. He noticed that I wasn't going to give him any coochie and tried to give me attitude. Then when I didn't respond to the attitude he said my social skills are subpar and I'm not as smart as I think I am. I said I was smart enough to know not to give you any, look at you being immature because I'm not feeling you. Then he yapped and apologized and yapped some more. Blah.
 
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