*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

DarkJoy said:
Your homie got a date tomorrow night.:look:

Not really my type but it's been over 13 months. Gotta get my feet wet again. Wonder what imma wear....
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Alright now!!!! I'm excited!

Everyone going out and stuff and I'm sitting here by myself after I just disbanded the roster. None of these guys are it. Any of you ladies think when you meet "him" you'll know it. I used to think that was silly but the more I date the clearer "he" becomes for me. And it isn't any of these men even if they are nice enough.
 
KammyGirl said:
Alright now!!!! I'm excited!

Everyone going out and stuff and I'm sitting here by myself after I just disbanded the roster. None of these guys are it. Any of you ladies think when you meet "him" you'll know it. I used to think that was silly but the more I date the clearer "he" becomes for me. And it isn't any of these men even if they are nice enough.
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I def think you'll know it, these Barney's out here won't be able to hold a candle to the real one.
 
LAME!

Welp, back to the drawing board. :lol:

Ol' boy just disappeared, and while old me would have texted him to see if we were still set to meet up, new me dgaf. I did a long hike this morning so I'm feeling refreshed and ready to enjoy the sunny weather. This online dating stuff isn't for me. Maybe if I lived elsewhere it would be worthwhile, but there are too few quality men around here for me to waste time sifting through the rotten ones. So profiles are deleted and ol' boy is blocked. I'm about to hit up this free outdoor concert and dance the night away... alone. I guess I'm just too much for these simps.
 
Dposh167 said:
I honestly didnt think the essence festival would have men out there like that. I was going to go solo but figured it would be mostly women
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I know, right? I always thought it was a place where a bunch of women and/or couples congregated. But I saw quite a few posts from men on my FB timeline that were feeling quite salty that they had to miss it this year. Ya'll have also proved me wrong. :look:
 
boudoir said:
very true often times when I hear blk women say there are no good blk men im looking puzzled/shocked
:eek: because in larger cities they are everywhere in abundance to much to even handle and date, so may options
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What specific cities/areas do you suggest?

@UniquelyDivine and @SurferBabe do either of ya'll mind sending me a pdf of MDLWLY if ya'll have one? Good luck on your date SurferBabe! UniquelyDivine you are a mess! Where do you find these men you be trolling? :lachen:

@shespoison that's crazy! An on again, off again boo can be fun but how do you hang out with him without getting caught up in a moment of memories, whether good or bad?

ItsMeLilLucky said:
What is the point of me going out with you if you want me to spend my own money? I can take my own self to the movies :look:
Good thing I'm not serious about him.
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My gay friend used to try to put me up on game years ago with stuff like this. I only half-listened but I totally get it now! One time he was telling me about this guy he talks to off and on. They were supposed to go somewhere and the guy had all this stuff planned for when my friend came to town. Well, the guy must have had a slow week at work something, because when it got closer to the weekend he started talking slow about the weekend plans. My friend could tell he was trying to get out of it, so he just cut him off and said, "baby, just say you broke this weekend." :lachen: :lachen: :lachen: After that, he called someone else that lived in the same area and set up plans to see him that same weekend. The guy paid for him to come, put gas in his car and money in his pocket when he came back. Them gay dudes be stone-cold!!!! They know how to work a dude to get everything they want. I need to be more like that and just not give a .....
 
SurferBabe said:
LAME!

Welp, back to the drawing board. :lol:

Ol' boy just disappeared, and while old me would have texted him to see if we were still set to meet up, new me dgaf. I did a long hike this morning so I'm feeling refreshed and ready to enjoy the sunny weather. This online dating stuff isn't for me. Maybe if I lived elsewhere it would be worthwhile, but there are too few quality men around here for me to waste time sifting through the rotten ones. So profiles are deleted and ol' boy is blocked. I'm about to hit up this free outdoor concert and dance the night away... alone. I guess I'm just too much for these simps.
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Thank goodness you didn't waste any time on that fool. And my new rule is no reaching out first. Ever. He knew where to find you to lock the plans in. You go out and enjoy yourself at that concert.
ItsMeLilLucky said:
@KammyGirl I don't think I'd know him. I've been fooled so many time, it's gonna take something spectacular for me to notice.
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UniquelyDivine said:
I def think you'll know it, these Barney's out here won't be able to hold a candle to the real one.
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I'm hoping I'll be able to recognize him from the rest of these bogus clowns hanging around. That's another reason I've been doing so much self work because I don't want any of that stuff blocking my vision. So not only will I be able to embrace him when he comes but also not so easily fooled by imposters. I've been single for 7 months now and I know you can't put a time line on these things but I hope he's in the queue and making his way toward me soon.

Which reminds me I found a reader in Brooklyn and something about her is making me feel like I'll have a connection with her. I had my mom give her a once over first and she agreed. lol She's expensive as heck though. Good thing is she advises, as do so many other readers, only getting a reading every quarter so she won't break my pockets too bad if I like her.
 
My mom is having grandbaby fever. I had a dream last night that I had a positive pregnancy test and then I went to the casino with my friend and we won 450,000 dollars. I told my mom about the dream and she said she'd rather me have the positive pregnant test than the 450,000 o_O.

:lol: I want to give my mother some grandchildren but God knows I'm not bringing no kids here without a husband to share the responsibility.
 
@shortycocoa It helps that I stay busy and keep my options open. He's not the planning stuff type, which is annoying but if I tell him to take me out or bring me food he does it no questions asked.

Every time I see one of his friends out they tell me how much he loves me :rolleyes:

And if I am out alone they pay for everything, put me in a cab and make sure I get home safely. Dating him is the he best pr ever because he tells everyone I am an angel, and that saves me because I am always out in the street and people would think I was hoeing if it wasn't for him talking about me everywhere he goes.

He's helped me out and taken care of me when I was down or upset but he's just so inconsistent and at our age...I just can't.

I said all that to say, I really love him as a person and a friend but I need more in a life partner. As long as he is inconsistent it is easy not to fall into the trap of needing to be with him.
 
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sgold04 said:
I really don't like any of the guys I meet :/ I wish I were more...simple. It's kinda bumming me out. I meet decent guys but they are all pretty basic to me. They have all these degrees but their conversation doesn't excite me.
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Wow! What types of things do they discuss with you?

shespoison said:
@shortycocoa It helps that I stay busy and keep my options open. He's not the planning stuff type, which is annoying but if I tell him to take me out or bring me food he does it no questions asked.

Every time I see one of his friends out they tell me how much he loves me :rolleyes:

And if I am out alone they pay for everything, put me in a cab and make sure I get home safely. Dating him is the he best pr ever because he tells everyone I am an angel, and that saves me because I am always out in the street and people would think I was hoeing of it wasn't for him talking about me everywhere he goes.

He's helped me out and Taked care of me when I was down or upset but he's just so inconsistent and at our age...I just can't.

I said all that to say, I really love him as a person and a friend but I need more in a life partner. As long as he is inconsistent it is easy not to fall into the trap of needing to be with him.
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This is a great story! It sounds like a great (and healthy) arrangement/friendship you have with him. I think it also helps that you know definitively what to expect and you play the hand you got and not the one you were hoping for.
 
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@shortycocoa The topics are generally whatever Black pop culture is discussing at the time, usually they bring it up to critique anyone (usually women) who follow those topics. But it's not necessarily the topics that bore me, it's their level of understanding/inability to switch up the discourse. They aren't witty or insightful. Convos are more like reading a series of Ben Carson tweets.
 
sgold04 said:
@shortycocoa The topics are generally whatever Black pop culture is discussing at the time, usually they bring it up to critique anyone (usually women) who follow those topics. But it's not necessarily the topics that bore me, it's their level of understanding/inability to switch up the discourse. They aren't witty or insightful. Convos are more like reading a series of Ben Carson tweets.
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Lmao!!! I know exactly what you mean.
 
Tonight was ridiculous. Homeboy who I warned to stay out of spots he think I would be at shows up at my regular spot.

So I see him at MY spot. He sees me and looks nervous af. I tilt my head like nigggggah are you DUMB? He pretends to not see me becausr he's with his girlfriend I did not know about. I come by him and mouth "leave" I even unblock him to text him to leave. His girl gets up to go to the bathroom and I sit next to him and ask him if he's dumb and tell him to leave. He says he's not leaving and calls security on me.

Little does he know i know the owner, the manager and most of security!

He's talking with one of the security I don't know....and tells me the manager says I have to speak to him outside...I go to the manager and he doesn't know what I'm talking about. The security guy is new and has no idea that I am damn near the princess of Harlem. So all my negros see me upset and huddle around me confused because I am always happy and quiet and mind my damn business...security ends up taking homeboy outside...

His girlfriend is still inside but I don't notice until someone taps me and lets me know she is motioning to me.

The girl is cool as ****. I find out she's from D.c. I tell her the story of him and she is wide eyed and tells me all the lies he told. She apologizes to me and I apologize to her for involving her, but I explained that he should have told the truth to me and given me the option.

I thought she was the new chick because I was dealing with him since November 2015 but she was dealing with him before me!!!

I tell her that if she makes more than him to run, but I noticed she paid the bar with her card...I'm not gonna lie I felt better when I saw that because I never spent a penny when I was with him.

These men out here are wreckless and depend on woman to be silent...not me, homeboy picked the wrong one. It's crazy...I felt such sisterhood and connection with her...more connection witj her than I did with a man we've both known longer !

She will prob stay with him and I'm not mad at it. I'm just glad I got that off my chest and he will never ever think to test or contact me again. Nigerians...i am satisfied just knowing he knows not to **** with me!

ETA I was under the influence of alcohol. Don't judge me
 
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shespoison said:
Tonight was ridiculous. Homeboy who I warned to stay out of spots he think I would be at shows up at my regular spot.

So I see him at MY spot. He sees me and looks nervous af. I tilt my head like nigggggah are you DUMB? He pretends to not see me becausr he's with his girlfriend I did not know about. I come by him and mouth "leave" I even unblock him to text him to leave. His girl gets up to go to the bathroom and I sit next to him and ask him if he's dumb and tell him to leave. He says he's not leaving and calls security on me.

Little does he know i know the owner, the manager and most of security!

He's talking with one of the security I don't know....and tells me the manager says I have to speak to him outside...I go to the manager and he doesn't know what I'm talking about. The security guy is new and has no idea that I am damn near the princess of Harlem. So all my negros see me upset and huddle around me confused because I am always happy and quiet and mind my damn business...security ends up taking homeboy outside...

His girlfriend is still inside but I don't notice until someone taps me and lets me know she is motioning to me.

The girl is cool as ****. I find out she's from D.c. I tell her the story of him and she is wide eyed and tells me all the lies he told. She apologizes to me and I apologize to her for involving her, but I explained that he should have told the truth to me and given me the option.

I thought she was the new chick because I was dealing with him since November 2015 but she was dealing with him before me!!!

I tell her that if she makes more than him to run, but I noticed she paid the bar with her card...I'm not gonna lie I felt better when I saw that because I never spent a penny when I was with him.

These men out here are wreckless and depend on woman to be silent...not me, homeboy picked the wrong one. It's crazy...I felt such sisterhood and connection with her...more connection witj her than I did with a man we've both known longer !

She will prob stay with him and I'm not mad at it. I'm just glad I got that off my chest and he will never ever think to test or contact me again. Nigerians...i am satisfied just knowing he knows not to **** with me!
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Whoa!!! He definitely tried it! You shut it all the way down though...my goodness! He knows not to play like that anymore, for sure. Good job, girl!
 
Lemme tell y'all something... !!!!! some ppl overshare... dude overshared!! The amount of baggage... It's mind boggling :thud:. If i told yall, your jaws would hit the floor. it went on and on!... smh.. I don't even know if I can use him for stuff like fixing things around the house or doing errands :look:

In fairness, I sensed the signs during our phone calls. I didn't ignore them but was like... well I have zero plans this weekend besides laundry so yolo.. It's reassuring that my spidey senses are trustworthy.

He was sweet though and I can see how that would suck a woman in. but i aint into workin with a brotha tho. I'm just not. ain't got no time for that at this age.

Welcome back to dating, DJ. Welcome back. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
DarkJoy said:
Lemme tell y'all something... !!!!! some ppl overshare... dude overshared!! The amount of baggage... It's mind boggling :thud:. If i told yall, your jaws would hit the floor. it went on and on!... smh.. I don't even know if I can use him for stuff like fixing things around the house or doing errands :look:

In fairness, I sensed the signs during our phone calls. I didn't ignore them but was like... well I have zero plans this weekend besides laundry so yolo.. It's reassuring that my spidey senses are trustworthy.

He was sweet though and I can see how that would suck a woman in. but i aint into workin with a brotha tho. I'm just not. ain't got no time for that at this age.

Welcome back to dating, DJ. Welcome back. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
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Damn it, man. I was gonna tag you earlier but I wasn't sure if it was last night or tonight.

But I guess it's good you know early, right? #glasshalffull :look:
 
shortycocoa said:
What specific cities/areas do you suggest?

@UniquelyDivine and @SurferBabe do either of ya'll mind sending me a pdf of MDLWLY if ya'll have one? Good luck on your date SurferBabe! UniquelyDivine you are a mess! Where do you find these men you be trolling? :lachen:
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My book is in Kindle format so I don't think there is a way to send it. I wonder if it is floating around the internet somewhere in pdf format :look:. I think the Kindle book is $10 and honestly, it is worth it! Solving Single is really good as well and it is a part of Kindle Unlimited which has a 30 day free trial for new subscribers.
 
SurferBabe said:
My book is in Kindle format so I don't think there is a way to send it. I wonder if it is floating around the internet somewhere in pdf format :look:. I think the Kindle book is $10 and honestly, it is worth it! Solving Single is really good as well and it is a part of Kindle Unlimited which has a 30 day free trial for new subscribers.
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See, there were a few people that said Solving Single sucks. Hmmm....I may have to reconsider.

I think Kindle uses epub and/or mobi formats. I'm not sure about how to send those. I'll keep looking though. Hopefully I will come across it soon.

I tried Kindle Unlimited a couple years ago and cancelled it right before the 30-day trial ended. I didn't even get full use out of it during the time I signed up so I felt some type of way about that. At the time the only book I was able to look at was The 5 Love Languages and I didn't even read the whole thing, so it was a waste.

How about I found a torrent the other day and downloaded it?
 
shortycocoa said:
See, there were a few people that said Solving Single sucks. Hmmm....I may have to reconsider.

I think Kindle uses epub and/or mobi formats. I'm not sure about how to send those. I'll keep looking though. Hopefully I will come across it soon.

I tried Kindle Unlimited a couple years ago and cancelled it right before the 30-day trial ended. I didn't even get full use out of it during the time I signed up so I felt some type of way about that. At the time the only book I was able to look at was The 5 Love Languages and I didn't even read the whole thing, so it was a waste.

How about I found a torrent the other day and downloaded it?
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MDLWLY is on audible. Your first book is free. I signed up, got the book and canceled audible. For me there are some books I need hard copies of but I doubt I would have actually read MDLWLY so the audio book was perfect. You could try that.
 
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