*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

@UniquelyDivine so had my reading...
not sure what to think--- it was very confusing.
She said there were two men in my line, the one I am dealing with now and one more after him. The one after him won't come until I am completely done with the current one. She thinks that the current one is good, has a good heart, and we have a good relationship but she understands why I don't trust him (I didn't tell her what happened). She kept repeating that I have two men, the one now or the one after him. She didn't give me details about the one after- said the angels won't send me him until I make a decision with the current one. She said I may move in together with current one at the end of the year... which is impossible unless he proposed. She said she saw a change in career for me next year, which could be true as I am researching how to open my LLC and becoming an employee of my LLC instead of being a 1099 contractor. She said my children are good- especially my son.

So my thoughts- inconclusive. I guess we will see what happens on 12/31/17.
 
@ItsMeLilLucky eh I bought it for her and wrote the note because I wanted to acknowledge something that I know might be difficult for her AND that we talked about it. So I meant it and she can definitely keep it. Although, I don't know that I would have bothered had she never shared the ups and downs while her mom was sick.

I didn't even really expect a thank you or for her to speak to me. I just didn't expect...whatever it is she's doing. You still don't want to talk that is absolutely fine but your petty can't take a break while you're mourning your mother and other people are sending their condolences? I hope I never ever turn into her.
 
-he has not warranted you having your grandma assist him with anything, given the fact that he is not yet treated you appropriately as in with value

-if he had my grandma wait he wouldn't have met with her that day, he should've been early and brought something in hand as a thank you to grandma, how dare you come late to meet my grandma let alone someone who is helping YOU with something

-your not his priority because you haven't set the boundaries

-you allowed him to show up at 10pm and you let him in?

he is treating you the way you are allowing him to
the only person you should be annoyed with is yourself, your handling this whole relationship/dating wrong
you have to set the tone for the way ppl treat you, especially men

LovinLea said:
I'm kind of annoyed with this guy. You can just read the bold. I'm venting.

A week ago, I asked him to come over to my grandmother's house today at 6 PM. This would be me introducing him to my grandmother, not because I want to, but because she can help him with something. He calls me at 6 PM with his cousin in the car to tell me that he is still on his way from some store in the city but he'll be there shortly. He and his cousin show up at 7PM and he says "it's because I had to wait for my cousin; she wasn't ready"; she takes his car and leaves. I'm annoyed that he had my grandmother waiting, plus now he is going to need a ride.

Anyway, he and my grandmother have their conversation, and then it's time for me to drive him to his cousin's house. She's not home with his car. So he says "let's go get some icecream to make this up to you". Fine, we go get ice cream and are back at his cousin's house at 8:30pm. She is still not home with his car. He's calling, no answer. I'm ready to go home but he asks me to stay and wait with him since he doesn't have keys to get in. I'm like "fine, but don't you have a problem that she took your car somewhere else without permission". No, he doesn't mind waiting. THen she texts him back that she's at the mall.

I wait there with him another hour, now I'm missing my fitness class. I ask can we just go to my house and she pick him up from there so we are not sitting in the car. He says no, she's not going to want to drive 20 minutes to pick him up. Right then, she texts him that she's coming home. I wait another 15 minutes and I'm like okay, you can just wait by yourself now. He gets mad, says bye, and storms out the car. I drive off and 1 1/2 minutes later he's calling me to tell me he would never, never, never, never have left me like that.

I flip out basically saying how are you not mad at your cousin but mad at me. He calms down and then says okay he wants to come over and talk to me. Cousin comes like 20 minutes later then he drives to my house.
We hung out today until about midnight. I had to seriously tell him to go. He goes I'll text you when I'm home, I don't get a text so I hit him up and he tells me he is on a pitstop (back at his cousin's house).

He has this cousin Felicia and his best friend Donna who's getting married, plus his frat brothers. He's always taking them food shopping, helping them out with something, giving them a ride, or just hanging out. He's always unavailable because he's with them or because he's tired from hanging out with them. He is with them everyday after work, all weekend, excluding our weekly date. He was like the perfect guy the first 6 weeks, which is why I'm being so forgiving. But better to end before it starts.

This past weekend, Saturday night plans got ruined because he was with his frat brothers and lost track of the time. He shows up to my house at about 10 pm; we were supposed to meet at 8. He basically stood me up. Then Sunday, I was stuck somewhere without my car, I had given it to my mother, so I asked him for a ride. He can't come because he's shopping with Felicia. I'm kind of getting tired of hearing her name. THen today he's late to meet my grandmother because he is with Felicia.
Click to expand...
 
Okay, y'all, I thought I might be tripping but you guys see the problem as well. I've been patient but it's like we plateaued because I get the leftovers of him.

KammyGirl said:
This is unacceptable. What kind of grown man has a relationship with a woman and let's his cousin (who I'm assuming is a grown woman as well??) interfere with that? Not only is he being clear about which one of you takes priority but he's also incredibly selfish. He let's this cousin ruin his plans with you on several occasions and doesn't check her but has the audacity to be angry because you basically won't sit around and tolerate it. He wouldn't even come to your house to wait. He'd rather inconvenience you to make her life easier - "she won't want to drive 20 minutes to come pick me up" - with no care at all how you feel about that. And then has the nerve to get mad when you put your foot down and leave him to wait on his own. I'm speechless. Do you see things changing if you talk to him about it? Their relationship sounds strange to me.
Click to expand...

This is exactly my problem.

I already talked to him about prioritizing but he just keeps saying he will work on it.

And strange? Girl, let me tell you. I had a job interview I was nervous about. I'm calling him before and after to give him a chance to be an emotional support. He just texts me good luck. When he finally calls me back, I find out that he's busy because he has to take Felicia to a sex shop because she wanted edible body oil.

Typing this, it just dawned on me....how ridiculous this is. Smh!
 
KammyGirl said:
This is unacceptable. What kind of grown man has a relationship with a woman and let's his cousin (who I'm assuming is a grown woman as well??) interfere with that? Not only is he being clear about which one of you takes priority but he's also incredibly selfish. He let's this cousin ruin his plans with you on several occasions and doesn't check her but has the audacity to be angry because you basically won't sit around and tolerate it. He wouldn't even come to your house to wait. He'd rather inconvenience you to make her life easier - "she won't want to drive 20 minutes to come pick me up" - with no care at all how you feel about that. And then has the nerve to get mad when you put your foot down and leave him to wait on his own. I'm speechless. Do you see things changing if you talk to him about it? Their relationship sounds strange to me.
Click to expand...

Yeah, my closest cousin is a male and I love him dearly, but no.

LovinLea said:
Okay, y'all, I thought I might be tripping but you guys see the problem as well. I've been patient but it's like we plateaued because I get the leftovers of him.



This is exactly my problem.

I already talked to him about prioritizing but he just keeps saying he will work on it.

And strange? Girl, let me tell you. I had a job interview I was nervous about. I'm calling him before and after to give him a chance to be an emotional support. He just texts me good luck. When he finally calls me back, I find out that he's busy because he has to take Felicia to a sex shop because she wanted edible body oil.

Typing this, it just dawned on me....how ridiculous this is. Smh!
Click to expand...

What the hell?

Nah. He gotta go.
 
boudoir said:
-he has not warranted you having your grandma assist him with anything, given the fact that he is not yet treated you appropriately as in with value

-if he had my grandma wait he wouldn't have met with her that day, he should've been early and brought something in hand as a thank you to grandma, how dare you come late to meet my grandma let alone someone who is helping YOU with something

-your not his priority because you haven't set the boundaries

-you allowed him to show up at 10pm and you let him in?

he is treating you the way you are allowing him to
the only person you should be annoyed with is yourself, your handling this whole relationship/dating wrong
you have to set the tone for the way ppl treat you, especially men
Click to expand...

I agree. I wanted to cancel when he was late and I didn't. I didn't want to wait with him but I did. I didn't want him to come over but I let him. I need to work on this.
 
LovinLea said:
Okay, y'all, I thought I might be tripping but you guys see the problem as well. I've been patient but it's like we plateaued because I get the leftovers of him.



This is exactly my problem.

I already talked to him about prioritizing but he just keeps saying he will work on it.

And strange? Girl, let me tell you. I had a job interview I was nervous about. I'm calling him before and after to give him a chance to be an emotional support. He just texts me good luck. When he finally calls me back, I find out that he's busy because he has to take Felicia to a sex shop because she wanted edible body oil.

Typing this, it just dawned on me....how ridiculous this is. Smh!
Click to expand...

Whet?
giphy.gif
 
LovinLea said:
Okay, y'all, I thought I might be tripping but you guys see the problem as well. I've been patient but it's like we plateaued because I get the leftovers of him.



This is exactly my problem.

I already talked to him about prioritizing but he just keeps saying he will work on it.

And strange? Girl, let me tell you. I had a job interview I was nervous about. I'm calling him before and after to give him a chance to be an emotional support. He just texts me good luck. When he finally calls me back, I find out that he's busy because he has to take Felicia to a sex shop because she wanted edible body oil.

Typing this, it just dawned on me....how ridiculous this is. Smh!
Click to expand...
All I can do is shake my damn head! What the hell is wrong with him? You need to let this one go. Also you should not have been calling him to give him a chance to be emotional support. He was supposed to call you knowing you had the interview and wish you luck if he cared. You don't have to ask any man who is worth a damn to do things like that to show they care about you.
 
movingforward13 said:
@UniquelyDivine so had my reading...
not sure what to think--- it was very confusing.
She said there were two men in my line, the one I am dealing with now and one more after him. The one after him won't come until I am completely done with the current one. She thinks that the current one is good, has a good heart, and we have a good relationship but she understands why I don't trust him (I didn't tell her what happened). She kept repeating that I have two men, the one now or the one after him. She didn't give me details about the one after- said the angels won't send me him until I make a decision with the current one. She said I may move in together with current one at the end of the year... which is impossible unless he proposed. She said she saw a change in career for me next year, which could be true as I am researching how to open my LLC and becoming an employee of my LLC instead of being a 1099 contractor. She said my children are good- especially my son.

So my thoughts- inconclusive. I guess we will see what happens on 12/31/17.
Click to expand...



So I'm assuming the current one she is talking
about is Lee? Is the one after him supposed to be the one? I'm a little confused as well but that sounds like her style, I've found that it becomes a whole lot clearer in retrospect.

She told me that I would have several windows of time in which I would meet my "one" but that I would have a few before him too and to just have fun.

She said "children" plural, did she say she saw more kids in your future?

Sorry to be so nosy :giggle:
 
UniquelyDivine said:
So I'm assuming the current one she is talking
about is Lee? Is the one after him supposed to be the one? I'm a little confused as well but that sounds like her style, I've found that it becomes a whole lot clearer in retrospect.

She told me that I would have several windows of time in which I would meet my "one" but that I would have a few before him too and to just have fun.

She said "children" plural, did she say she saw more kids in your future?

Sorry to be so nosy :giggle:
Click to expand...
The current one is Lee. I asked her who is "the one" and she said I have a choice. Either Lee and if I choose to leave Lee then I have one more man in my line that the angels will send. I asked for more information about the second man and she couldn't give it to me. If I choose Lee then that's it. But if I don't choose Lee, there is another man after him. But she read Lee very well- she explained him and our situation and told me I have a choice. But she thinks I should choose him.
This was a very weird reading. She shocked me in the first minute saying there was going to be a move, like moving in, then we talked about Lee. I am not going to lie- I am skeptical about stuff like this so I am very tight lipped when I get a reading. I don't offer information willingly so I can decipher if it is BS. I don't know what to think here.
I didn't ask about more children. Not sure if I want more anymore (I did but now that my career is taking off, not sure) I have two kids already. My daughter is 18 next month but she lives with her grandmother in another state.
 
movingforward13 said:
The current one is Lee. I asked her who is "the one" and she said I have a choice. Either Lee and if I choose to leave Lee then I have one more man in my line that the angels will send. I asked for more information about the second man and she couldn't give it to me. If I choose Lee then that's it. But if I don't choose Lee, there is another man after him. But she read Lee very well- she explained him and our situation and told me I have a choice. But she thinks I should choose him.
This was a very weird reading. She shocked me in the first minute saying there was going to be a move, like moving in, then we talked about Lee. I am not going to lie- I am skeptical about stuff like this so I am very tight lipped when I get a reading. I don't offer information willingly so I can decipher if it is BS. I don't know what to think here.
I didn't ask about more children. Not sure if I want more anymore (I did but now that my career is taking off, not sure) I have two kids already. My daughter is 18 next month but she lives with her grandmother in another state.
Click to expand...

I didn't know you had a daughter!
 
Y'all. I don't know what's gotten into me...I have always been team marriage then baby.

I have seriously been thinking about letting this rich man impregnate me and then marrying for love. I'm always loving struggling artists but I refuse to have children with one. My child deserves the longest pockets.


I know it's dumb but im getting old and I feel like I'm trying to beat the clock.
 
movingforward13 said:
The current one is Lee. I asked her who is "the one" and she said I have a choice. Either Lee and if I choose to leave Lee then I have one more man in my line that the angels will send. I asked for more information about the second man and she couldn't give it to me. If I choose Lee then that's it. But if I don't choose Lee, there is another man after him. But she read Lee very well- she explained him and our situation and told me I have a choice. But she thinks I should choose him.
This was a very weird reading. She shocked me in the first minute saying there was going to be a move, like moving in, then we talked about Lee. I am not going to lie- I am skeptical about stuff like this so I am very tight lipped when I get a reading. I don't offer information willingly so I can decipher if it is BS. I don't know what to think here.
I didn't ask about more children. Not sure if I want more anymore (I did but now that my career is taking off, not sure) I have two kids already. My daughter is 18 next month but she lives with her grandmother in another state.
Click to expand...


I was the same when I talked to her the first time, I didn't tell her anything about me or my life and she came with some heavy hits which convinced me.

When you say weird you mean because of what she knew about you or because she told you things that are totally not on your radar?
 
mzpurp said:
Whet?
giphy.gif
Click to expand...

I thought it was weird, but I'm not close to my cousins so..

KammyGirl said:
All I can do is shake my damn head! What the hell is wrong with him? You need to let this one go. Also you should not have been calling him to give him a chance to be emotional support. He was supposed to call you knowing you had the interview and wish you luck if he cared. You don't have to ask any man who is worth a damn to do things like that to show they care about you.
Click to expand...

Alright, we are arguing all the time anyway, I'm just bad at leaving situations.
 
LovinLea said:
I'm kind of annoyed with this guy. You can just read the bold. I'm venting.

A week ago, I asked him to come over to my grandmother's house today at 6 PM. This would be me introducing him to my grandmother, not because I want to, but because she can help him with something. He calls me at 6 PM with his cousin in the car to tell me that he is still on his way from some store in the city but he'll be there shortly. He and his cousin show up at 7PM and he says "it's because I had to wait for my cousin; she wasn't ready"; she takes his car and leaves. I'm annoyed that he had my grandmother waiting, plus now he is going to need a ride.

Anyway, he and my grandmother have their conversation, and then it's time for me to drive him to his cousin's house. She's not home with his car. So he says "let's go get some icecream to make this up to you". Fine, we go get ice cream and are back at his cousin's house at 8:30pm. She is still not home with his car. He's calling, no answer. I'm ready to go home but he asks me to stay and wait with him since he doesn't have keys to get in. I'm like "fine, but don't you have a problem that she took your car somewhere else without permission". No, he doesn't mind waiting. THen she texts him back that she's at the mall.

I wait there with him another hour, now I'm missing my fitness class. I ask can we just go to my house and she pick him up from there so we are not sitting in the car. He says no, she's not going to want to drive 20 minutes to pick him up. Right then, she texts him that she's coming home. I wait another 15 minutes and I'm like okay, you can just wait by yourself now. He gets mad, says bye, and storms out the car. I drive off and 1 1/2 minutes later he's calling me to tell me he would never, never, never, never have left me like that.

I flip out basically saying how are you not mad at your cousin but mad at me. He calms down and then says okay he wants to come over and talk to me. Cousin comes like 20 minutes later then he drives to my house.
We hung out today until about midnight. I had to seriously tell him to go. He goes I'll text you when I'm home, I don't get a text so I hit him up and he tells me he is on a pitstop (back at his cousin's house).

He has this cousin Felicia and his best friend Donna who's getting married, plus his frat brothers. He's always taking them food shopping, helping them out with something, giving them a ride, or just hanging out. He's always unavailable because he's with them or because he's tired from hanging out with them. He is with them everyday after work, all weekend, excluding our weekly date. He was like the perfect guy the first 6 weeks, which is why I'm being so forgiving. But better to end before it starts.

This past weekend, Saturday night plans got ruined because he was with his frat brothers and lost track of the time. He shows up to my house at about 10 pm; we were supposed to meet at 8. He basically stood me up. Then Sunday, I was stuck somewhere without my car, I had given it to my mother, so I asked him for a ride. He can't come because he's shopping with Felicia. I'm kind of getting tired of hearing her name. THen today he's late to meet my grandmother because he is with Felicia.
Click to expand...
man, I hope you haven't been rewarding his tomfoolery by putting out when he shows up hours late.

this male (not a man) is run by the women and ppl in his life.

he has no respect for you.
 
DarkJoy said:
man, I hope you haven't been rewarding his tomfoolery by putting out when he shows up hours late.

this male (not a man) is run by the women and ppl in his life.

he has no respect for you.
Click to expand...
I don't but he tries it. I tried to have a talk with him today, I told him I had gotten a "friend's" opinion what happened. So I was basically telling him how my "Friend" feels that his actions have been a little selfish and that he should consider his priorites and not let his cous--BOOM! He flips out on me "You took it way too far. Talk about me, but dont ever bring my cousin into it".

I say "I didn't say anything bad about your cousin, though". I was actually a little hurt.
He goes "Sorry, but when it comes to Donna and Felicia, they've been there for me more than anyone for so long, I just get defensive when it comes to them."

I tried to cut it off, but he started talking about how important I am to him:rolleyes:
 
LovinLea said:
I don't but he tries it. I tried to have a talk with him today, I told him I had gotten a "friend's" opinion what happened. So I was basically telling him how my "Friend" feels that his actions have been a little selfish and that he should consider his priorites and not let his cous--BOOM! He flips out on me "You took it way too far. Talk about me, but dont ever bring my cousin into it".

I say "I didn't say anything bad about your cousin, though". I was actually a little hurt.
He goes "Sorry, but when it comes to Donna and Felicia, they've been there for me more than anyone for so long, I just get defensive when it comes to them."

I tried to cut it off, but he started talking about how important I am to him:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Are these his blood cousins or play cousins....'cause....
 
LovinLea said:
I don't but he tries it. I tried to have a talk with him today, I told him I had gotten a "friend's" opinion what happened. So I was basically telling him how my "Friend" feels that his actions have been a little selfish and that he should consider his priorites and not let his cous--BOOM! He flips out on me "You took it way too far. Talk about me, but dont ever bring my cousin into it".

I say "I didn't say anything bad about your cousin, though". I was actually a little hurt.
He goes "Sorry, but when it comes to Donna and Felicia, they've been there for me more than anyone for so long, I just get defensive when it comes to them."

I tried to cut it off, but he started talking about how important I am to him:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Please don't do this again. Your feelings are valid and there's absolutely no reason to act like they aren't your own.

This whole situation is weird AF, and I personally wouldn't continue with this guy. I understand close relationships with people of the opposite sex, in addition to my cousin, I have male friends of over 25 years that I love like family. But I would never let that interfere with a romantic relationship I'm trying to establish.
 
Last edited:
Dude is a nut. Mentally unstable. Just text a goodbye, block and ghost if you cant make an official verbal split. He doesn't deserve it anyway.

LovinLea said:
I don't but he tries it. I tried to have a talk with him today, I told him I had gotten a "friend's" opinion what happened. So I was basically telling him how my "Friend" feels that his actions have been a little selfish and that he should consider his priorites and not let his cous--BOOM! He flips out on me "You took it way too far. Talk about me, but dont ever bring my cousin into it".
Click to expand...
LovinLea said:
I say "I didn't say anything bad about your cousin, though". I was actually a little hurt.
He goes "Sorry, but when it comes to Donna and Felicia, they've been there for me more than anyone for so long, I just get defensive when it comes to them."

I tried to cut it off, but he started talking about how important I am to him:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
 
UniquelyDivine said:
When you say weird you mean because of what she knew about you or because she told you things that are totally not on your radar?
Click to expand...
Weird like she could be right but it is just inconclusive. She didn't say anything to convince me 100% but she could be right as well. For example I am self employed. She said I have a job change coming in the new year, which is possible since I am looking into getting my LLC, but then she said my supervisor will try to teach me this to assist with this promotion... but I don't have coworkers or a supervisor. But again, she could be right, I have clients interviewing me for 1099 positions. One is sending me numbers to review before I accept, I have another interview today. I will go with the company paying the most and won't give as much hassle. My job gets pretty stressful when I am in the middle of an audit so anything that annoys me excessively will make me want to quit.

So like you said, probably hind sight.... if something clicks like "wow she is right", I will get another reading in a few months. But it is just inconclusive right now.
 
LovinLea said:
I don't but he tries it. I tried to have a talk with him today, I told him I had gotten a "friend's" opinion what happened. So I was basically telling him how my "Friend" feels that his actions have been a little selfish and that he should consider his priorites and not let his cous--BOOM! He flips out on me "You took it way too far. Talk about me, but dont ever bring my cousin into it".

I say "I didn't say anything bad about your cousin, though". I was actually a little hurt.
He goes "Sorry, but when it comes to Donna and Felicia, they've been there for me more than anyone for so long, I just get defensive when it comes to them."

I tried to cut it off, but he started talking about how important I am to him:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Yeah all of this is a No. He is holding up a neon sign saying "DO NOT PICK ME I am NOT the one". I would stop answering his calls/texts.
MzLady78 said:
Please don't do this again. Your feelings are valid and there's absolutely no reason to act like they aren't your own.

This whole situation is weird AF, and I personally wouldn't continue with this guy. I understand close relationships with people of the opposite sex, in addition to my cousin, I have male friends of over 25 years that I love like family. But I would never let that interfere with a romantic relationship I'm trying to establish.
Click to expand...
Agree with this 1000%
 
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