*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

[LovinLea]

Now that I see Kenya Moore is married, for a split second I thought, hmmm maybe I should just wait.

I also thought about how I found it embarrassing for her to always talk about wanting a man and wanting to be married. I figured that would scare men away. I tell men things and they pick up and talk about marriage first. But look, she went around telling everyone she wanted to married and it happened.

 

[movingforward13]

Now that I see Kenya Moore is married, for a split second I thought, hmmm maybe I should just wait.

I also thought about how I found it embarrassing for her to always talk about wanting a man and wanting to be married. I figured that would scare men away. I tell men things and they pick up and talk about marriage first. But look, she went around telling everyone she wanted to married and it happened.

At my age- if men get scared away from a woman knowing she wants marriage, then good riddance.

 

[DarkJoy]

Now that I see Kenya Moore is married, for a split second I thought, hmmm maybe I should just wait.

I also thought about how I found it embarrassing for her to always talk about wanting a man and wanting to be married. I figured that would scare men away. I tell men things and they pick up and talk about marriage first. But look, she went around telling everyone she wanted to married and it happened.

At my age- if men get scared away from a woman knowing she wants marriage, then good riddance.

yea. i think for the younger set its true. but by my age... pffft... im not wasting time and going to say exactly what's up from jump. its a great quick elimination tool.

 

[movingforward13]

yea. i think for the younger set its true. but by my age... pffft... im not wasting time and going to say exactly what's up from jump. its a great quick elimination tool.

Right- because wanting to be married doesn't necessarily mean I want to marry YOU (new man I am dating). I still have to qualify you to be a husband first--- but know where my mind is at.

I think women have gotten the bad rap that we all want to get married, want a ring, etc. So men just think that if proposes, we will say yes. I want to say that for a lot of us, that isn't true (hopefully- still debating that one). Just because someone gets a ring, doesn't mean their relationship is happy and they made it. Lots of people are "alone" in relationships/marriages. So after we establish what I want- then I am vetting you to see if you fit the bill. If not, then blocked and moved on to the next.

 

[DarkJoy]

Right- because wanting to be married doesn't necessarily mean I want to marry YOU (new man I am dating). I still have to qualify you to be a husband first--- but know where my mind is at.

I think women have gotten the bad rap that we all want to get married, want a ring, etc. So men just think that if proposes, we will say yes. I want to say that for a lot of us, that isn't true (hopefully- still debating that one). Just because someone gets a ring, doesn't mean their relationship is happy and they made it. Lots of people are "alone" in relationships/marriages. So after we establish what I want- then I am vetting you to see if you fit the bill. If not, then blocked and moved on to the next.

Right! In addition, i think we're taught (at least bw) to keep a man, any man, who pays you attention around as long as possible. Even if its a dead end situation. Saying you want marriage will "run him off".

No. saying it one time during the getting-to-know-you phase is good. Whining to a dude to put a ring on it 3 years later and he refuses and finally leaves or you throw him out is another. Particularly sad if you never stated ypur goal upfront.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

Aww, a 19 year old (he didn't look like he was 19, seriously what are they feeding these kids?) tried to talk to me. I told him he was too young for me and he was like "what does that mean?"

 

[C@ssandr@]

Right! In addition, i think we're taught (at least bw) to keep a man, any man, who pays you attention around as long as possible. Even if its a dead end situation. Saying you want marriage will "run him off".

No. saying it one time during the getting-to-know-you phase is good. Whining to a dude to put a ring on it 3 years later and he refuses and finally leaves or you throw him out is another. Particularly sad if you never stated ypur goal upfront.

I think its all about the delivery and not exuding desperation.

 

[LdyKamz]

Aww, a 19 year old (he didn't look like he was 19, seriously what are they feeding these kids?) tried to talk to me. I told him he was too young for me and he was like "what does that mean?"

Girl I almost got cursed out the other day. A little boy walked up to me talking about how you doing? I was like boy I am 30+ years old. Go on somewhere. He was like wowwwww but you look good though. I laughed but he was still trying. I was like did you not hear that I am too old for you and he started raising his voice and getting aggressive talking about so what and I was acting like I couldn't mess with someone younger. smh

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@KammyGirl Geez, he wanted to really talk to you huh?

 

[movingforward13]

I was like did you not hear that I am too old for you and he started raising his voice and getting aggressive talking about so what and I was acting like I couldn't mess with someone younger. smh

I have had this happen A LOT.... like boy go sit down.

 

[ivyness]

I have had this happen A LOT.... like boy go sit down.

Me too... talking about do you want to Facebook chat

 

[MzLady78]

Me too... talking about do you want to Facebook chat

Oh dear Lord.

 

[hunnychile]

how do you get a man to move around after yall have exchanged info? so far i've had men stay and talk to me til they left the bar altogether. how can i politely say "you're nice but you're blocking the view"?

 

[LovinLea]

Alright, this guy has been saying he wants me to be his girlfriend. Being a girlfriend just doesn't sound cute to me anymore. I'm saying no because it's not even two months yet and I don't want another boyfriend, I want a husband and I'm not sure if he wants that, too in the (very) near future.

So I guess it's best just to say it then. "I'm willing to enter a relationship, but it needs to lead to marriage". Too strong?

 

[shespoison]

how do you get a man to move around after yall have exchanged info? so far i've had men stay and talk to me til they left the bar altogether. how can i politely say "you're nice but you're blocking the view"?

I always say I'll be right back and just move somewhere else.

 

[TwoSnapsUp]

So why are you back?

 

[DarkJoy]

Alright, this guy has been saying he wants me to be his girlfriend. Being a girlfriend just doesn't sound cute to me anymore. I'm saying no because it's not even two months yet and I don't want another boyfriend, I want a husband and I'm not sure if he wants that, too in the (very) near future.

So I guess it's best just to say it then. "I'm willing to enter a relationship, but it needs to lead to marriage". Too strong?

You answered your own question!

 

[LdyKamz]

I always say I'll be right back and just move somewhere else.

I do this too. @hunnychile When I figure out that he's about to take up my time for the rest of the night I just tell him I'll be back or I have to go to the ladies room or something.

 

[movingforward13]

So over the last two days, I was having a great conversation with a guy on Tinder. Then he asked about the men on my side, saying it must be tough to find a good quality man.
I told him that he was right- pickings are slim out here but I am living an awesome life regardless of whether I meet a great guy or not.
Then we said good night...
Next morning I found out he unmatched me.

Did I say something wrong? I am starting to think that he was setting himself up to be a prize (with that good quality man comment) and when I didn't take the bait, he figured I was too secure in myself to let him get away with bullsh!t. Like the conversation was going great before that. He was 39 too- very weird.

And no I am not dwelling on it but I was looking forward to meeting him so just kinda like wow

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@movingforward13 Just because he's 39 means diddly squat. There are a lot of old fools. I'm glad he unmatched with you instead of wasting more of your time.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@HappyMadison I love reading about your outings (is that even the right word? ). My life isn't as colorful yet lol

 

[MzLady78]

@movingforward13, I'm convinced these guys are just weirdos. I'm not even gonna take it personal anymore.

I was chatting with one back and forth for a few days, he was talking about giving me a reason to visit NY since I haven't been in awhile, blah, blah, blah. After my last response, he just disappeared. I didn't even to hit him again to resume the conversation.

I give ZERO right now and will keep it moving in a heartbeat and not think twice.

 

[DarkJoy]

That's the right attitude @MzLady78!!!

 

[boudoir]

Never to strong to communicate your wants!

Best thing in the world when you can verbalize what YOU want in your life.

Alright, this guy has been saying he wants me to be his girlfriend. Being a girlfriend just doesn't sound cute to me anymore. I'm saying no because it's not even two months yet and I don't want another boyfriend, I want a husband and I'm not sure if he wants that, too in the (very) near future.

So I guess it's best just to say it then. "I'm willing to enter a relationship, but it needs to lead to marriage". Too strong?

 

[movingforward13]

@movingforward13 Just because he's 39 means diddly squat. There are a lot of old fools. I'm glad he unmatched with you instead of wasting more of your time.

At some point I will remember this... too many times I am thinking older men are mature and get tired of the games.
But honestly, I am glad he unmatched too. I am not owed a response or reason- I just thought that with the conversation going so well, we were going to take it offline. Oh well-
D appointment in 3 hours.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

Milk chocolate is still saying & doing all the right things but I think I need to take a step back & don't let the excitement suck me in.

We've had some deep conversations but I think I need to be more purposeful in what I'm asking him.

 

[hunnychile]

I always say I'll be right back and just move somewhere else.

I do this too. @hunnychile When I figure out that he's about to take up my time for the rest of the night I just tell him I'll be back or I have to go to the ladies room or something.

I don't wanna move though, lol. And I don't lie because it will look bad if I see him again later. The place I was at was small so he would've just watched me move away and I don't want to leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth.

I'll think of something. Probably just nicely say, "it was so nice to meet you, I hope I'll see you around." I had a notebook with me, I could've told him I wanted to get back to my writing.

 

[LdyKamz]

Milk chocolate is still saying & doing all the right things but I think I need to take a step back & don't let the excitement suck me in.

We've had some deep conversations but I think I need to be more purposeful in what I'm asking him.

What do you mean?

 

[UniquelyDivine]

What do you mean?

I was reading that "questions to ask" thread and I realized there are some things that I should be asking that haven't been on my radar.

We're still just in the talking phase but those questions would help me to focus a little bit more instead of letting the cuteness of it sway me.

 

[tocktick]

Last week, we spoke about what we're both looking for. I told him I'm dating with a purpose and seeing other people as part of that process. Ordinarily I wouldn't reveal this info but he let me know first he was seeing other people. *shrug* Cool. Now based on a few comments here and there, I get the sense he's a little butthurt. Trololol wut. What's good for the goose ain't good for the gander??