shespoison
Well-Known Member
That's super awkward....then just sit there with them staring in your face. The chances of them moving are slim.
*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*
- Thread starter DarkJoy
- Start date
That's super awkward....then just sit there with them staring in your face. The chances of them moving are slim.
hunnychile
Well-Known Member
What's awkward?
shespoison
Well-Known Member
Telling someone you'll see them around....but you don't actually move away.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
You know I really hate saying this because I didn't want to turn to the fad of reading MDLWLY but he addresses this very topic about asking men questions during the early dating. If you have the book- give it a second look to help out.
hunnychile
Well-Known Member
I was hoping I could say that and they would "get a clue."
"It was so nice to meet you, I hope we can see each other again soon. *very pointed look*" If they say "are you leaving?" I'll reply, "no, but you are. *wink*"
I'm not usually that bold but I'm going to try it.
HappyMadison
Kanye's Surrogate
@HappyMadison I love reading about your outings (is that even the right word?). My life isn't as colorful yet lol
Truthfully I have to make a conscious effort to live in Color. I am in my second, third life at this point. From military trauma and divorce, I have been diagnosed general anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. It would be too easy to sit at home and receive pension for the rest of my life. But I have a son, so I have to model healthy relationships and behaviors. So every thing I do when I wake up has the purpose of being. I go to school so that I can serve something outside myself. I walk and take pictures of structures and flora, because I am studying world building. I go out and meet people and listen to music. I find a niche and work my way up. At first, I was trying to see how high I could go, because of ego then I stepped back, but I giggle to myself from time to time when I hear "my song." There is a new one out from an ex of mine. He will text me from time to time and say, "did you hear it?" IDK, I am just interested in living my best life right now.
My counselor says I have a "princess in a high tower" complex. I like to be kept and I draw personalities that are possessive. It is a longing to feel secure, when it mainly captivity. I become complacent in situations that may not be ideal because I am circling back to my safe space, or my house. That is why I tend to get relationships and keep them a long time. I get the ring early. However, I kept flaws in my partners, so if it failed I could be like, "well, it was bound to, because XYZ." I am not cold, I am just closed off.
But now in my second life, I want quality. I want a relationship I can hold as a standard so that my son can be a good husband and give me well mannered grandbabies lol.
I have the gift of introspection so I am constantly asking myself questions and applying them to my dating life. So when I go on diatribe here, I am living it. Since I am supposed to be journaling, I get to use LHCF as it, but also receive feedback. It's cathartic.
lol won't that give them the impression you aren't interested? At least if you go to the bathroom or something and sit somewhere else when they call you can say "oh yeah i just sat down and got caught up in my writing but i'm glad you called..." In the end a guy who doesn't move away after I've already given him my number and wants to occupy the rest of my time in a place probably would be pushed to the back anyway because I would be annoyed with him.I was hoping I could say that and they would "get a clue."
If they say "are you leaving?" I'll reply, "no, but you are. *wink*"
I'm not usually that bold but I'm going to try it.
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
I was actually thinking about doing that, I need a refresher course so I'll stay grounded. It's easy to get swept into the clouds when you're really digging someone & I feel like rereading it will give me a dose of reality.
HappyMadison
Kanye's Surrogate
He surprised me with tickets to Afropunk! He knew how much I wanted to see Willow Smith, lol. Even played my favorite song
Omg, is this a courtship? After this trip, I may be in a relationship lol.
Omg, is this a courtship? After this trip, I may be in a relationship lol.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
I'm really trying to get out of this habit of wondering "what's wrong with me" and/or "what did I do or not do". Rejection isn't always about you, and if it is, oh well. Life goes on. I'm not for everyone and everyone ain't for me.
Last edited:
SurferBabe
Well-Known Member
I love this entire post.
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
Milk chocolate invited me out to lunch and sent me another car even though I work less than 10 mins from the restaurant. He's hella extra 
We had a VERY enlightening & surreal conversation over lunch & I asked him a lot of pointed questions. The psychic told me he would be VERY honest and he keeps proving her right.
He told me that he although he is highly sexual that he has been celibate for over a year now, He basically said that he used to be a big heaux and that he allowed sex to have a big impact on his life and the way that he treated and interacted with women, he said he is at the stage in life where he's ready to be a husband and a father and wants to totally do away from the man that used to be and he feels like this is what God is requiring of him at this point in his life.
I'm with it.
We had a VERY enlightening & surreal conversation over lunch & I asked him a lot of pointed questions. The psychic told me he would be VERY honest and he keeps proving her right.
He told me that he although he is highly sexual that he has been celibate for over a year now, He basically said that he used to be a big heaux and that he allowed sex to have a big impact on his life and the way that he treated and interacted with women, he said he is at the stage in life where he's ready to be a husband and a father and wants to totally do away from the man that used to be and he feels like this is what God is requiring of him at this point in his life.
I'm with it.
Last edited:
lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
Milk chocolate invited me out to lunch and sent me another car even though I work less than 10 mins from the restaurant. He's hella extra
We had a VERY enlightening & surreal conversation over lunch & I asked him a lot of pointed questions. The physic told me he would be VERY honest and he keeps proving her right.
He told me that he although he is highly sexual that he has been celibate for over a year now, He basically said that he used to be a big heaux and that he allowed sex to have a big impact on his life and the way that he treated and interacted with women, he said he is at the stage in life he's ready to be a husband and a father and wants to totally do away from the man that used to be and he feels like this is what God is requiring of him at this point in his life.
I'm with it.
Oh snap! Sounds like a good one.
Got to keep asking those questions and agree with @movingforward13 that a refresher course of MDLWLY would keep you grounded and pace yourself
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
what questions did you ask to get this response?Milk chocolate invited me out to lunch and sent me another car even though I work less than 10 mins from the restaurant. He's hella extra
We had a VERY enlightening & surreal conversation over lunch & I asked him a lot of pointed questions. The physic told me he would be VERY honest and he keeps proving her right.
He told me that he although he is highly sexual that he has been celibate for over a year now, He basically said that he used to be a big heaux and that he allowed sex to have a big impact on his life and the way that he treated and interacted with women, he said he is at the stage in life he's ready to be a husband and a father and wants to totally do away from the man that used to be and he feels like this is what God is requiring of him at this point in his life.
I'm with it.
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
Oh snap! Sounds like a good one.
Right? I'm impressed with his growth & maturity, it explains why he pulled back the other night.
He had mentioned his past to me before, and he has talked a lot about his journey so I asked him to elaborate on that, where he is now mentally & how he reconciles his past behavior with the growth and maturity that he has now.
I also asked what he is currently looking for, because it seems like he has everything but a wife and kids and that's when he told me that he is ready for a family but he is celibate because he wants to further strengthen his ability to lead a family and be a good husband and father & doesn't want lust & sex to cloud his judgement.
I asked why he feels that celibacy is the answer & he told me he was with a woman that wanted to be celibate after they had already had a sexual relationship and he told her "ok, sure" but he would still seduce her.
He said it made him feel like less of a man when he reflected back on it because he doesn't ever want to disrespect a woman's wishes ever again, he felt it showed weakness. That made him realize he needed to become a better man for whoever he meets in the future in order to help her to meet whatever goals she needs, even if it means sacrifice on his end.
Last edited:
sgold04
Well-Known Member
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
Me too! He seems truly genuine & I'm lowkey smitten......even though that means no booty for me anytime soon
sgold04
Well-Known Member
....I do hope you accidentally rub against it so you can confirm the size
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
....I do hope you accidentally rub against it so you can confirm the size
I did last weekend
grew right out against my leg 
he's blessed 
sgold04
Well-Known Member
Blessings on blessings on blessings!I did last weekend
#1 didn't know he was on the verge of getting some tonight. He took me to an early dinner then we lingered at the restaurant and had another drink. We were both romantic with each other holding hands, little pecks on the lips and him continuously caressing my back. We walked for a little bit and he kept kissing me on my head. It was nice. He drove me home and I invited him in. He ended up leaving because he had to go to the bathroom! And he of course didn't want to use mine. He was all groaning talking about his stomach hurts but he doesn't want to go home because he knows I won't want him to come back. He doesn't live too far from me but I was like no if you leave it's no problem. He really tried to hold it y'all until he just couldn't anymore 
I wanted to ask him why he was doing this to himself but didn't want to embarrass him so I told him to go. He was all flustered and embarrassed anyway and asked if he could see me this weekend. Yes. He said "you sure?" Yes, I'm sure just go. Ugh! Now we gotta start over because he ain't getting none for a while after this. But if/when it does happen I have a feeling I will not be disappointed.
And he of course didn't want to use mine. He was all groaning talking about his stomach hurts but he doesn't want to go home because he knows I won't want him to come back. He doesn't live too far from me but I was like no if you leave it's no problem. He really tried to hold it y'all until he just couldn't anymore I wanted to ask him why he was doing this to himself but didn't want to embarrass him so I told him to go. He was all flustered and embarrassed anyway and asked if he could see me this weekend. Yes. He said "you sure?" Yes, I'm sure just go. Ugh! Now we gotta start over because he ain't getting none for a while after this. But if/when it does happen I have a feeling I will not be disappointed.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
@UniquelyDivine - same psychic I am speaking to tomorrow....
Man- you have to invite me to YOUR wedding- I am a good gifter.
******
So like I mentioned above I have my reading tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it- the psychic sounded tired and frustrated when she called me to set up my appointment but I hope it was only because she had a long day.
Hope she can tell me who my husband is.... would like for a sign of some sort.
Man- you have to invite me to YOUR wedding- I am a good gifter.
******
So like I mentioned above I have my reading tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it- the psychic sounded tired and frustrated when she called me to set up my appointment but I hope it was only because she had a long day.
Hope she can tell me who my husband is.... would like for a sign of some sort.
LovinLea
Well-Known Member
I'm kind of annoyed with this guy. You can just read the bold. I'm venting.
A week ago, I asked him to come over to my grandmother's house today at 6 PM. This would be me introducing him to my grandmother, not because I want to, but because she can help him with something. He calls me at 6 PM with his cousin in the car to tell me that he is still on his way from some store in the city but he'll be there shortly. He and his cousin show up at 7PM and he says "it's because I had to wait for my cousin; she wasn't ready"; she takes his car and leaves. I'm annoyed that he had my grandmother waiting, plus now he is going to need a ride.
Anyway, he and my grandmother have their conversation, and then it's time for me to drive him to his cousin's house. She's not home with his car. So he says "let's go get some icecream to make this up to you". Fine, we go get ice cream and are back at his cousin's house at 8:30pm. She is still not home with his car. He's calling, no answer. I'm ready to go home but he asks me to stay and wait with him since he doesn't have keys to get in. I'm like "fine, but don't you have a problem that she took your car somewhere else without permission". No, he doesn't mind waiting. THen she texts him back that she's at the mall.
I wait there with him another hour, now I'm missing my fitness class. I ask can we just go to my house and she pick him up from there so we are not sitting in the car. He says no, she's not going to want to drive 20 minutes to pick him up. Right then, she texts him that she's coming home. I wait another 15 minutes and I'm like okay, you can just wait by yourself now. He gets mad, says bye, and storms out the car. I drive off and 1 1/2 minutes later he's calling me to tell me he would never, never, never, never have left me like that.
I flip out basically saying how are you not mad at your cousin but mad at me. He calms down and then says okay he wants to come over and talk to me. Cousin comes like 20 minutes later then he drives to my house.
We hung out today until about midnight. I had to seriously tell him to go. He goes I'll text you when I'm home, I don't get a text so I hit him up and he tells me he is on a pitstop (back at his cousin's house).
He has this cousin Felicia and his best friend Donna who's getting married, plus his frat brothers. He's always taking them food shopping, helping them out with something, giving them a ride, or just hanging out. He's always unavailable because he's with them or because he's tired from hanging out with them. He is with them everyday after work, all weekend, excluding our weekly date. He was like the perfect guy the first 6 weeks, which is why I'm being so forgiving. But better to end before it starts.
This past weekend, Saturday night plans got ruined because he was with his frat brothers and lost track of the time. He shows up to my house at about 10 pm; we were supposed to meet at 8. He basically stood me up. Then Sunday, I was stuck somewhere without my car, I had given it to my mother, so I asked him for a ride. He can't come because he's shopping with Felicia. I'm kind of getting tired of hearing her name. THen today he's late to meet my grandmother because he is with Felicia.
A week ago, I asked him to come over to my grandmother's house today at 6 PM. This would be me introducing him to my grandmother, not because I want to, but because she can help him with something. He calls me at 6 PM with his cousin in the car to tell me that he is still on his way from some store in the city but he'll be there shortly. He and his cousin show up at 7PM and he says "it's because I had to wait for my cousin; she wasn't ready"; she takes his car and leaves. I'm annoyed that he had my grandmother waiting, plus now he is going to need a ride.
Anyway, he and my grandmother have their conversation, and then it's time for me to drive him to his cousin's house. She's not home with his car. So he says "let's go get some icecream to make this up to you". Fine, we go get ice cream and are back at his cousin's house at 8:30pm. She is still not home with his car. He's calling, no answer. I'm ready to go home but he asks me to stay and wait with him since he doesn't have keys to get in. I'm like "fine, but don't you have a problem that she took your car somewhere else without permission". No, he doesn't mind waiting. THen she texts him back that she's at the mall.
I wait there with him another hour, now I'm missing my fitness class. I ask can we just go to my house and she pick him up from there so we are not sitting in the car. He says no, she's not going to want to drive 20 minutes to pick him up. Right then, she texts him that she's coming home. I wait another 15 minutes and I'm like okay, you can just wait by yourself now. He gets mad, says bye, and storms out the car. I drive off and 1 1/2 minutes later he's calling me to tell me he would never, never, never, never have left me like that.
I flip out basically saying how are you not mad at your cousin but mad at me. He calms down and then says okay he wants to come over and talk to me. Cousin comes like 20 minutes later then he drives to my house.
We hung out today until about midnight. I had to seriously tell him to go. He goes I'll text you when I'm home, I don't get a text so I hit him up and he tells me he is on a pitstop (back at his cousin's house).
He has this cousin Felicia and his best friend Donna who's getting married, plus his frat brothers. He's always taking them food shopping, helping them out with something, giving them a ride, or just hanging out. He's always unavailable because he's with them or because he's tired from hanging out with them. He is with them everyday after work, all weekend, excluding our weekly date. He was like the perfect guy the first 6 weeks, which is why I'm being so forgiving. But better to end before it starts.
This past weekend, Saturday night plans got ruined because he was with his frat brothers and lost track of the time. He shows up to my house at about 10 pm; we were supposed to meet at 8. He basically stood me up. Then Sunday, I was stuck somewhere without my car, I had given it to my mother, so I asked him for a ride. He can't come because he's shopping with Felicia. I'm kind of getting tired of hearing her name. THen today he's late to meet my grandmother because he is with Felicia.
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
You have a reading with Jo?! I'm so excited! The first time she called to confirm with me she sounded like that too but she's very warm & friendly, it gets lost in translation over the phone but I'm totally confident that you'll love the experience. She's amazing for real.
Everyone that I know that has gone to her has seen the manistifation of her reading, one got married after a horrid divorce and at the time of the reading she totally disregarded what Jo told her because it was totally outside of her realm of reality at the time, but now she's happily married and she told me last week they're about to start trying for a baby.
I'm super anxious to hear how it goes!!!
If he's the one she's talking about I'm going to legit set aside a section for my LHCF single ladies thread sistren
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
Ummmmmmmmm. I got annoyed for you reading that, he's totally out of order and he needs to figure out what his priorities are. I have a friend like that, her family is everything to her, which is fine but your family can't live your life for you.
And not to sound cynical or bitter but are we sure this Felicia is really his cousin? Or is this a front?
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
#1 didn't know he was on the verge of getting some tonight. He took me to an early dinner then we lingered at the restaurant and had another drink. We were both romantic with each other holding hands, little pecks on the lips and him continuously caressing my back. We walked for a little bit and he kept kissing me on my head. It was nice. He drove me home and I invited him in. He ended up leaving because he had to go to the bathroom!
Bless his little stanky booty heart
He better swizzle some pepto next time.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
@UniquelyDivine - ok we will see.
@LovinLea - yep time to go. He doesn't sound mature with healthy boundaries at all.
So this post is in response to another thread but posting here because it is relevant. I am a person who hates games- I am straight forward, to the point, get what I want type of girl. But I realized that men in general aren't like this. Partially because they aren't as mature, don't know what they want, or "insert other excuse here".
When reading MDLWLY, I realized that some games have to be played to discover a man's intentions (unless you are just really unavailable because of other obligations).
I am a woman who is busy but always has time for a man I am interested in. For example, I met Lee while I was studying for the CPA exam. I studied daily but he didn't even realize it because any time he called, I was available to see or talk to him.
When we first started dating, he was inconsistent or just not good with managing his time (or dating others) so I stopped being available. I ignored calls, even if my phone was in my hand, I waited to reply to text messages, and I flat out told him about other men I was dating. He straightened up and started being consistent then I became my usual self.
I believe in mirroring a man (or getting rid of him) so that he learns he can't just treat you a certain way and expect you to take it. And like I said, I hate games- I don't want to play them. However I have realized that most men (or people in general) aren't as straight forward as I am so some sort of game playing is needed while you figure things (him) out.
@LovinLea - yep time to go. He doesn't sound mature with healthy boundaries at all.
So this post is in response to another thread but posting here because it is relevant. I am a person who hates games- I am straight forward, to the point, get what I want type of girl. But I realized that men in general aren't like this. Partially because they aren't as mature, don't know what they want, or "insert other excuse here".
When reading MDLWLY, I realized that some games have to be played to discover a man's intentions (unless you are just really unavailable because of other obligations).
I am a woman who is busy but always has time for a man I am interested in. For example, I met Lee while I was studying for the CPA exam. I studied daily but he didn't even realize it because any time he called, I was available to see or talk to him.
When we first started dating, he was inconsistent or just not good with managing his time (or dating others) so I stopped being available. I ignored calls, even if my phone was in my hand, I waited to reply to text messages, and I flat out told him about other men I was dating. He straightened up and started being consistent then I became my usual self.
I believe in mirroring a man (or getting rid of him) so that he learns he can't just treat you a certain way and expect you to take it. And like I said, I hate games- I don't want to play them. However I have realized that most men (or people in general) aren't as straight forward as I am so some sort of game playing is needed while you figure things (him) out.
ItsMeLilLucky
NotLucky no mo' just blessed.
This is unacceptable. What kind of grown man has a relationship with a woman and let's his cousin (who I'm assuming is a grown woman as well??) interfere with that? Not only is he being clear about which one of you takes priority but he's also incredibly selfish. He let's this cousin ruin his plans with you on several occasions and doesn't check her but has the audacity to be angry because you basically won't sit around and tolerate it. He wouldn't even come to your house to wait. He'd rather inconvenience you to make her life easier - "she won't want to drive 20 minutes to come pick me up" - with no care at all how you feel about that. And then has the nerve to get mad when you put your foot down and leave him to wait on his own. I'm speechless. Do you see things changing if you talk to him about it? Their relationship sounds strange to me.
Not sure if anyone remembers the toxic lady at work I mentioned in here a while back who decided she is not speaking to me. Her mother just passed away and she has been out for a while. I bought her a sympathy card and wrote a little note because like I said before we were friends. I had already made up my mind not to speak to her at all anymore but her and I spoke about her mother's illness quite a bit and to know that she's gone I felt like I should probably do or say something. I went back and forth on this though and a couple of other people agreed with the sentiment so yeah I bought the card and left it for her. She got it. Do you know this woman is still blowing past me and going out of her way not to acknowledge me. This morning she actually walked up to the person I was speaking to and interrupted with an attitude and turned her back to me. I suppose to let me know "a sympathy card don't mean I'll speak to you". So that did it. It's official. She is invisible to me.
Similar threads
