*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

gimbap said:
I forgot to mention, Friday I didn't feel like going straight home so I went to one of the places @prettyinpurple mentioned a while back for happy hour. I just sat at the bar, ordered a drink and some food. At one point a guy teased me about me not liking my drink (I guess I pulled a face at one point) but I couldn't work up the courage to really flirt. Baby steps I guess! It was my first time going to a happy hour alone and it wasn't bad at all!
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Good for you!

I forgot all about that thread lol.

We should go to one together :)
 
movingforward13 said:
I wish I had that type of block... iPhone COMPLETELY blocks texts. You could still get voicemails though if they are left.
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See that's what I want. I don't want to see anything at all. And since it stores messges it takes up memory so I have to go in the folder and delete them periodically and see all these stupid messages. Like this morning I went in there and saw a message from this idiot arse talking about "wanna kick it?" Me thinks not!
 
Always~Wear~Joy said:
@SurferBabe & @sgold04 your recent posts have helped me so much. Very inspiring. Y'all seem so free :) My friend is currently doing MWY and I'm so jealous of him haha.

My male coworker keeps asking why I won't buy a home now. Ive been in this city for 1.5 years. Next year I'll be able to work remote with my current employer or apply somewhere else and be able to be remote, so I don't think its a good idea to purchase plus I can't see myself living here and settling. It just seems so foreign to some people here. He's also always clocking my money and traveling. It's very annoying. Sorry for the rant.
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:bighug:

I'm enjoying the freedom to operate in my own self-interest. There's this sentiment that if you are single you must be sitting at home miserable, or if you are active, you do it to hide your miserableness lol (I've seen this sentiment on this board often from married ladies). But it's possible to TRULY enjoy life (or be content) and still desire a partner. I think this is a difficult concept for some to grasp in a society that promotes "getting chose" as the optimal validation of a woman's worth.

People keep telling me to buy a house in TX, but I've owned a home before and it was the worst decision I've ever made. I will not do it again until 1. I know where I'll settle, and 2. I have racks on racks on racks.
 
KammyGirl said:
See that's what I want. I don't want to see anything at all. And since it stores messges it takes up memory so I have to go in the folder and delete them periodically and see all these stupid messages. Like this morning I went in there and saw a message from this idiot arse talking about "wanna kick it?" Me thinks not!
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Yeah, I hate this too. I'm trying not to go in mine, but I definitely almost caved this weekend. I had to remind myself that I'm still healing, and if I went in there and saw that "he" hasn't tried to contact me, I was probably gonna be upset and undo my progress.
 
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sgold04 said:
:bighug:

I'm enjoying the freedom to operate in my own self-interest. There's this sentiment that if you are single you must be sitting at home miserable, or if you are active, you do it to hide your miserableness lol (I've seen this sentiment on this board often from married ladies). But it's possible to TRULY enjoy life (or be content) and still desire a partner. I think this is a difficult concept for some to grasp in a society that promotes "getting chose" as the optimal validation of a woman's worth.

People keep telling me to buy a house in TX, but I've owned a home before and it was the worst decision I've ever made. I will not do it again until 1. I know where I'll settle, and 2. I have racks on racks on racks.
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This is spot on :yep:. There is a chapter in the book I mentioned a few pages back where the author talks about society considering marriage as the official marker of adulthood. Aside from college graduation, your first real job, and 30/40/50+ birthdays, every other milestone is family-related: engagement, marriage, anniversaries, first family home, pregnancy, 1st birthday, 1st day of school, the list goes on. As a single person, it is easy to get caught up in feeling like the clock hasn't begun for you yet. Often times when I feel down, it isn't always about feeling lonely-- sometimes I just feel stuck. The author mentions a friend who is unmarried and is told by those around her that she is going to spend the rest of her life alone to which she replies-- but this IS the rest of my life. It's crazy how her own accomplishments and experiences are overlooked by others because she hasn't reached the ultimate milestone of marriage. This prompts the author to ask When does the rest of your life begin? It is pretty much the case worldwide that marriage gives a distinct sense of before and after. As a single, the clock is ticking not towards any individual life experience, but towards the day when you meet your soulmate. We've been conditioned to feel like the presence of a man in our lives long term finally gives us the green light to start Act II/III of our own story. The biggest celebration of your life is your wedding day. How often can we get that number of people together with that amount of fanfare just to celebrate us?

The author is now married (she met her husband at 38) and she admits that now that she's married, she can actually view her life before marriage with a clarity she didn't have when she was just going through the motions as a single woman. She underestimated how vast and full her life was because at the time, everything felt like just another way to pass time while searching for the one-- I'd complain that it was taking forever to find this one person, but this unwavering search meant that I was meeting many other people. When I was single, I crisscrossed the country trying to find my real life, how could I not see, that I was already there?
 
I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice the attention I get when I'm wearing a dress/skirt vs when I'm wearing pants. I have on a pencil skirt today and the men in my building have been nicer, one guy literally ran in front of me so he could open the door for me. I usually prefer wearing pants to work because of the temperature in my office, but I'm going to try and wear skirts/a dress all week.
 
So I need advice. #1 and I were texting last night and of course we're flirting with each other but then after a while it seemed like the sexual stuff wouldn't stop. It was like it was all he wanted to talk about. I'm getting to the point where I'm unsure of how much is too much. My thoughts are if I'm uncomfortable then it's too much, right? But then I'm wondering if I'm over reacting and not giving enough leeway here.

But the real issue is when I told him to stop he did but with quite a few excuses like "you can't say something like that and then expect me to think about anything else and have a normal conversation" I thought he was joking but he was dead serious. Yeah I engaged, it was fun, it was sexy but it's over now. That's not the only thing to talk about. Then he called to argue about it. Smh And he seemed upset and almost like he didn't understand why I was upset. Then to make it worse he was like well I already apologized and I guess you can't forgive me since you keep harping on it. ? Which actually I wasn't. I made a mental note of his reaction and moved on. He was the one keeping on with the excuses.

So I just told him I'm going to bed and hung up. He continued to text like everything was all good but I was like nah I have to process this and didn't respond. So he must have finally understood the problem. And this morning I woke up to a real apology saying he is sorry and he understands I deserve to be treated with respect and care and he's upset that I'm upset. And he hopes we're still on for dinner when he gets back.

Thing is my petty is on a 10 today and I'm not feeling him. I don't like how he handled the situation. Am I overreacting here?
 
movingforward13 said:
Rather than think you are overreacting... can you accept his apology and move on?
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I can because I wasn't really that bothered by it. I'm more bothered by his reaction. And I feel like that's what he should be apologizing for if anything. (Told you my petty is on 10 :look:) And I think sometimes that's what men don't understand. Most of time what they do is more annoying than anything else. It's their responses and reactions that usually make me mad. But I can definitely move on from this.
 
KammyGirl said:
I can because I wasn't really that bothered by it. I'm more bothered by his reaction. And I feel like that's what he should be apologizing for if anything. (Told you my petty is on 10 :look:) And I think sometimes that's what men don't understand. Most of time what they do is more annoying than anything else. It's their responses and reactions that usually make me mad. But I can definitely move on from this.
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i would consider it a yellow flag and see how he responds to being corrected in other situations.
 
I have prophetic dreams about my relationships with people.

It is always bad news. I spoke to a dude I dealt with off and on for a year or more....I had a dream about him but didn't mention it to him. Oddly enough, he told me he had a dream about me. Our dreams were pretty much the same.

I told him that all it means is that he is seeing someone else and my presence was the reason it wasn't progressing. He didn't say anything.

Fast forward to today....I texted him about something unrelated and he said what I told him about the dream days ago had been bothering him. Bothering him because it's true.

I didn't not even deal with him like that but hearing it made my chest hurt. I blocked him...I'm not going to stick around and wait for the fre to manifest.

F$@@&%* Nigerian men!

At least he was always honest unlike the rest.
 
shespoison said:
I have prophetic dreams about my relationships with people.

It is always bad news. I spoke to a dude I dealt with off and on for a year or more....I had a dream about him but didn't mention it to him. Oddly enough, he told me he had a dream about me. Our dreams were pretty much the same.

I told him that all it means is that he is seeing someone else and my presence was the reason it wasn't progressing. He didn't say anything.

Fast forward to today....I texted him about something unrelated and he said what I told him about the dream days ago had been bothering him. Bothering him because it's true.

I didn't not even deal with him like that but hearing it made my chest hurt. I blocked him...I'm not going to stick around and wait for the fre to manifest.

F$@@&%* Nigerian men!

At least he was always honest unlike the rest.
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Do you know if he was seeing someone else seriously? How serious was this relationship between the two of you off and on? Some disagree, but most men are always seeing someone else to some degree. Unlike us, they are never fully single, which is why women should keep a roster until engagement (per that other thread :look:).

Sounds like there were other things that didn't sit right with you which lead to the dream.
 
SurferBabe said:
Do you know if he was seeing someone else seriously? How serious was this relationship between the two of you off and on? Some disagree, but most men are always seeing someone else to some degree. Unlike us, they are never fully single, which is why women should keep a roster until engagement (per that other thread :look:).

Sounds like there were other things that didn't sit right with you which lead to the dream.
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It wasn't that he was seeing someone else in the dream. It's how he treated me because of her. Shiiiz I'm seeing other people and we are no where near serious and haven't been in a long while. And he treated me like shizzzz in his dream too. Like, wtf is that? And for him to tell me?
 
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