*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I don't really know how to handle this.

So I'm about to book my birthday trip. I've been saying since me and my sis went 5 year ago that I was going to go back to Isla Mujeres, Mexico for my 40th birthday, which is in 8 months. The place I'm going to stay is a small BnB with only 6 rooms, and the room I want is the only one with 2 separate bedrooms (it'll be me and my sis) so I want it lock it in now. I had invited 3 of my female cousins when I first decided I wanted to go. My male cousin wasn't in Boston at the time but he's back with his wife and kids and we've gotten close again, I'd consider him my favorite cousin. I want to invite him, but I don't want him to bring his wife. I don't have a problem with her at all, but I don't want this to be a couples thing. My sister isn't bringing her husband, one cousin who is married never travels with her husband so I know that's not an issue. My other cousin has an SO but I'm slightly less worried about her feeling like he needs to come (this could potentially be a problem, though, I know that).

I'm not at all trying to be selfish because I don't have an SO, but it's just not what I want. I want to have a good time with my sister and cousins. Am I wrong?
 
MzLady78 said:
I don't really know how to handle this.

So I'm about to book my birthday trip. I've been saying since me and my sis went 5 year ago that I was going to go back to Isla Mujeres, Mexico for my 40th birthday, which is in 8 months. The place I'm going to stay is a small BnB with only 6 rooms, and the room I want is the only one with 2 separate bedrooms (it'll be me and my sis) so I want it lock it in now. I had invited 3 of my female cousins when I first decided I wanted to go. My male cousin wasn't in Boston at the time but he's back with his wife and kids and we've gotten close again, I'd consider him my favorite cousin. I want to invite him, but I don't want him to bring his wife. I don't have a problem with her at all, but I don't want this to be a couples thing. My sister isn't bringing her husband, one cousin who is married never travels with her husband so I know that's not an issue. My other cousin has an SO but I'm slightly less worried about her feeling like he needs to come (this could potentially be a problem, though, I know that).

I'm not at all trying to be selfish because I don't have an SO, but it's just not what I want. I want to have a good time with my sister and cousins. Am I wrong?
Click to expand...
Frame it as a family only thing?
 
MzLady78 said:
I don't really know how to handle this.

So I'm about to book my birthday trip. I've been saying since me and my sis went 5 year ago that I was going to go back to Isla Mujeres, Mexico for my 40th birthday, which is in 8 months. The place I'm going to stay is a small BnB with only 6 rooms, and the room I want is the only one with 2 separate bedrooms (it'll be me and my sis) so I want it lock it in now. I had invited 3 of my female cousins when I first decided I wanted to go. My male cousin wasn't in Boston at the time but he's back with his wife and kids and we've gotten close again, I'd consider him my favorite cousin. I want to invite him, but I don't want him to bring his wife. I don't have a problem with her at all, but I don't want this to be a couples thing. My sister isn't bringing her husband, one cousin who is married never travels with her husband so I know that's not an issue. My other cousin has an SO but I'm slightly less worried about her feeling like he needs to come (this could potentially be a problem, though, I know that).

I'm not at all trying to be selfish because I don't have an SO, but it's just not what I want. I want to have a good time with my sister and cousins. Am I wrong?
Click to expand...

You aren't wrong at all. You have a right to want what you want even when it's not your birthday.
But different marriages have different rules when it comes to travel. All you can do is let your stipulations known. If your cousin chooses not to come because his wife can't, that's his right too and he won't be wrong either.
 
sarumoki said:
Frame it as a family only thing?
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Sosoothing said:
You aren't wrong at all. You have a right to want what you want even when it's not your birthday.
But different marriages have different rules when it comes to travel. All you can do is let your stipulations known. If your cousin chooses not to come because his wife can't, that's his right too and he won't be wrong either.
Click to expand...

True. I'd be disappointed but I'd understand. I just don't want it to make things weird between me and him or me and her. She's been great to me, and it's not personal at all. I just always planned on this being a sister/cousin trip.

Maybe it won't be an issue when he sees that no one else is bringing their SOs.
 
MzLady78 said:
I don't really know how to handle this.

So I'm about to book my birthday trip. I've been saying since me and my sis went 5 year ago that I was going to go back to Isla Mujeres, Mexico for my 40th birthday, which is in 8 months. The place I'm going to stay is a small BnB with only 6 rooms, and the room I want is the only one with 2 separate bedrooms (it'll be me and my sis) so I want it lock it in now. I had invited 3 of my female cousins when I first decided I wanted to go. My male cousin wasn't in Boston at the time but he's back with his wife and kids and we've gotten close again, I'd consider him my favorite cousin. I want to invite him, but I don't want him to bring his wife. I don't have a problem with her at all, but I don't want this to be a couples thing. My sister isn't bringing her husband, one cousin who is married never travels with her husband so I know that's not an issue. My other cousin has an SO but I'm slightly less worried about her feeling like he needs to come (this could potentially be a problem, though, I know that).

I'm not at all trying to be selfish because I don't have an SO, but it's just not what I want. I want to have a good time with my sister and cousins. Am I wrong?
Click to expand...

Not wrong at all. Especially since nobody else is bringing a spouse. I'd tell him in a casual way to make it seem like it's not that deep, just as a matter of fact.
 
MzLady78 said:
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.



True. I'd be disappointed but I'd understand. I just don't want it to make things weird between me and him or me and her. She's been great to me, and it's not personal at all. I just always planned on this being a sister/cousin trip.

Maybe it won't be an issue when he sees that no one else is bringing their SOs.
Click to expand...

From the way you describe your relationship, I think it will be fine. But I do understand your concern because it's so easy to misunderstand the most innocent intentions. Especially among family and in-laws.
I hope it works out and you all have a great trip.
 
A long time ago - like more than 10 years, I was in a car accident and was referred to a chiropractor by the mother of guy that I was dating. The chiropractor and I became really good friends, he's kind of like a big brother/uncle type. Why did he call me the other night and say that he bumped into ole-boy's mother and the first thing she asked was "Do you still see Browndi?" How is she?

I thought that was so random. And ironic given that her son was a complete jerkoff fboi who thought he had me in his back pocket until he got snuffed with my boot. Get over me already. :gorgeous:

Men really do live in regret, I'm telling you.
 
@MzLady78

That's an interesting predicament.

I could see an adults only, no spouses, girls island trip for the female cousins.

It probably depends on family dynamic though.

In that other thread, people are upset that the wives were separated from their husbands for dinner, and you're talking about an international trip.

Isn't she your cousin now too?
 
toaster said:
@MzLady78

That's an interesting predicament.

I could see an adults only, no spouses, girls island trip for the female cousins.

It probably depends on family dynamic though.

In that other thread, people are upset that the wives were separated from their husbands for dinner, and you're talking about an international trip.

Isn't she your cousin now too?
Click to expand...

Initially, it was gonna be that. I did think about just keeping it that way to avoid any issues, but really, out of all of my cousins, we're the closest. It's possible he may not even wanna be the only guy with a bunch of women, but our family is dominated by women, he's probably used to it by now.

I had my thoughts on that thread, but I'm not married so I'll keep them to myself. :look:

Yes, I consider her family, but there are plenty of other blood relatives I'm not inviting. There's just too many of them.
 
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toaster said:
@MzLady78

That's an interesting predicament.

I could see an adults only, no spouses, girls island trip for the female cousins.

It probably depends on family dynamic though.

In that other thread, people are upset that the wives were separated from their husbands for dinner, and you're talking about an international trip.

Isn't she your cousin now too?
Click to expand...
That's not really the same though. It's not like she's inviting the spouses and then saying y'all can't sit together which is what happened at that dinner.

I would understand not inviting spouses @MzLady78 I don't think anyone should have a problem with this anyway. The cousins are going for a birthday getaway. Family fun.

A couple years ago my friend planned a trip for her birthday but it was a couples trip and since I was single at the time I wasn't invited. Not offended in the least because I didn't want to be on my own. There were some scheduling conflicts with some of the spouses/so's and it turned into a singles trip so I was invited. I went solo as did everyone else and the birthday girl showed up with her man/baby daddy. :lol: We were pissed! All these years later and she's married to someone else now. Lol
 
Here at Flamingo Cantina and some big name old head reggae star is supposed to be here after like a decade away. I was invited to hang out with a local reggae star so mad nervous. I met her a handful but just drama. Interesting to hang out solo with the exception of Jah with Lady Reggae and her entourage. Yes I have started drinking early lol. No pregame. I am going to get it in now lol.
 
Hmm got invites to Jamaica by the band and blah, blah, blah, no! Lol. Such a beauty *burp* Jamaicans lol
 
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Yesterday I met this dude, he was very attractive & had a funny and engaging personality & during the convo he dropped the information he played for the Tennessee Titans.

I have course made a mental note to check where he was on the roster, his contract, number of years played, injuries, and salary, because any girl worth her salt would, right? So this morning I just checked the roster and why is he not on there?

Why do ninjas lie about stupid stuff like that? Like in this day and age of technology I wouldn't be able to find that information out? And the funny thing is I didn't even ask him what he did or anything like that, he volunteered that information within 10 minutes of us talking.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Yesterday I met this dude, he was very attractive & had a funny and engaging personality & during the convo he dropped the information he played for the Tennessee Titans.

I have course made a mental note to check where he was on the roster, his contract, number of years played, injuries, and salary, because any girl worth her salt would, right? So this morning I just checked the roster and why is he not on there?

Why do ninjas lie about stupid stuff like that? Like in this day and age of technology I wouldn't be able to find that information out? And the funny thing is I didn't even ask him what he did or anything like that, he volunteered that information within 10 minutes of us talking.
Click to expand...
He wanted to impress you. Maybe he's tryna finesse you out dem panties
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Yesterday I met this dude, he was very attractive & had a funny and engaging personality & during the convo he dropped the information he played for the Tennessee Titans.

I have course made a mental note to check where he was on the roster, his contract, number of years played, injuries, and salary, because any girl worth her salt would, right? So this morning I just checked the roster and why is he not on there?

Why do ninjas lie about stupid stuff like that? Like in this day and age of technology I wouldn't be able to find that information out? And the funny thing is I didn't even ask him what he did or anything like that, he volunteered that information within 10 minutes of us talking.
Click to expand...
UniquelyDivine said:
Actually I think I just found him :scratchchin: but he's married & it's a different name than what he gave me smh. Trifling.

What is wrong with these men????
Click to expand...
So he wanted to tell you who he was without telling you who he was. What a dummy.
 
MzLady78 said:
The list of more productive things I could be doing is long, I just keep BS'ing.

Example: I keep saying I want to get my Graduate Certificate in HR Management since I finally have a job that offers tuition reimbursement. So how about I sit my lazy arse down and write the statement of purpose I need to apply?

I've also said I need additional income so I can pay off these bills. How about I go take those TESOL classes?

Ugh, I need to get my life. Seriously. :ohwell:

I think last dude was just an a-hole who was perfectly content treating me like an option, but the truth is, I do take up with guys who have more going on than I do, and maybe as a result, I end up coming off as too needy. So yeah, this is something I need to work out.
Click to expand...

Sooo..I never posted about this in here but I did end up applying and I got my acceptance letter today.

I'm nervous, as I've been out of school for 16 years now, but I'm excited and looking forward to being more productive with my free time.
 
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