*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

MzLady78 said:
So this dude hasn't hit me back about whether he's going to Barbados or not. Availability is already limited since it's Labor Day, so I went ahead a booked an apartment on the beach for $413 for the week. I can cancel for free until August in the event that he actually comes through.

I'm going to try to lose some weight before then, we'll see how that goes. I say that before every vacation. :lol: But I have over 3 months this time, it's doable.
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I'm so jelly, I hope you have a blast. Oh and I hear low carb is the way to go when trying to drop lbs fast. I gotta stop being scary and book a vacay somewhere, I could use some alone time on the beach.
 
SurferBabe said:
Well sort of, but no more than any other bustling metro area. I'm speaking more along the lines of being super alphas who love the chase and have some strong game. These were the exact type of men G.L. Lambert talked about in MDLWLY. I'm not used to that at all :look:. I had the betas on lock. I was used to men chasing while I paid them dust. Then I went to Houston and got my world rocked.

All I can say is, the quality men know where they stand. They are used to women falling hard and quickly. What shakes them up is when a woman withholds her emotional investment. That's where I failed. You have to be confident and on your game at all times. Keep your standards very high and don't make exceptions out of fear that the guy will move on. Sure you should do this with every man, but stuff like this comes naturally when dealing with betas because 9 of of 10 times, we are not that into them anyway. A true alpha, on the other hand, will have your nose wide open. I don't care how much money and prestige those Dallas men have, make them work. Treat them in a way that no other woman does. Had I been smarter then, I wouldn't have gone through almost a year of heartache.
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This is great advice! I'm admittedly emotionally closed off, I've wondered if it's a bad thing but it might suit me well down here. :scratchchin:

I dated/talked to this guy from San Antonio and I think I might've drive him a little bit mad because even though I liked him I never called or interacted with him unless he initiated it, he was a beautiful specimen too but I refused to be like the rest of his harem.

The funny thing is a Texas dude is the reason why I no longer get emotionally invested or wear my heart on my sleeve like I used to.
 
luving me said:
I'm so jelly, I hope you have a blast. Oh and I hear low carb is the way to go when trying to drop lbs fast. I gotta stop being scary and book a vacay somewhere, I could use some alone time on the beach.
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I understand being scared, trust me. But there honestly hasn't been a time anywhere I've gone where I've felt unsafe. I use the same precautions I would use going out in Boston alone. I don't stay out too late. If someone offers to buy me a drink, I go with them to the bar, I don't let anyone bring me one. If I have to go to the bathroom, I wait until my drink is finished. I read the forums on Trip Advisor, they can be really helpful. For instance, I saw on there how to tell by the license plate what cars are official taxis in Barbados.

Maybe start off somewhere in the US first and see how you do.
 
MzLady78 said:
I understand being scared, trust me. But there honestly hasn't been a time anywhere I've gone where I've felt unsafe. I use the same precautions I would use going out in Boston alone. I don't stay out too late. If someone offers to buy me a drink, I go with them to the bar, I don't let anyone bring me one. If I have to go to the bathroom, I wait until my drink is finished. I read the forums on Trip Advisor, they can be really helpful. For instance, I saw on there how to tell by the license plate what cars are official taxis in Barbados.

Maybe start off somewhere in the US first and see how you do.
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Those are all great tips, thanks. I've gone to a few places in the US alone, but leaving the country alone kinda spooks me. My bday is in March and I'm determined to go on a trip out of the country alone even if it's only on a cruise.
 
SlimPickinz said:
Question ladies!

If a man tells you he knows he's not financially stable enough to pursue a long term relationship what would you think of him? Would you appreciate the honesty? Would you think he was trying to clown you? Thoughts, concerns, further questions are welcome!
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Aint nobody got time for broke men especially over 30.

It wouldnt matter one way or the other to me if he was being honest, trying to clown (but seriously is broke), or whatever. He wouldn't be for me.
 
luving me said:
Those are all great tips, thanks. I've gone to a few places in the US alone, but leaving the country alone kinda spooks me. My bday is in March and I'm determined to go on a trip out of the country alone even if it's only on a cruise.
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A cruise is a great way to get your feet wet.

Norwegian has a number of ships now that have studio rooms for solo guests. They have their own lounge and cruise director, and there's a board where people put what they're doing that day in case others want to join. If a group wants to go to dinner together, the cruise director will make reservations. It was my birthday when I went, and someone paid for my dinner at the restaurant that was an extra cost, and someone else bought me a bottle of wine. It was one of my best birthdays and I spent it with strangers. But when I wanted to be alone, I could be.
 
MzLady78 said:
A cruise is a great way to get your feet wet.

Norwegian has a number of ships now that have studio rooms for solo guests. They have their own lounge and cruise director, and there's a board where people put what they're doing that day in case others want to join. If a group wants to go to dinner together, the cruise director will make reservations. It was my birthday when I went, and someone paid for my dinner at the restaurant that was an extra cost, and someone else bought me a bottle of wine. It was one of my best birthdays and I spent it with strangers. But when I wanted to be alone, I could be.
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You got all the good info, thanks a million.
 
Well, I'm not friends with Bim, anymore. I'm okay with that.

SlimPickinz said:
Question ladies!

If a man tells you he knows he's not financially stable enough to pursue a long term relationship what would you think of him? Would you appreciate the honesty? Would you think he was trying to clown you? Thoughts, concerns, further questions are welcome!
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I would think that he wasn't interested, and he was using the financial part of it as an excuse.
 
I ask because I gained a new friend recently. I thought when we went out it was just as friends but it turns out he considered them dates. No big deal to me call it what you want. But last night he threw me for a loop when he said that relationship stuff to me and started down the road of awkwardness. I'm still going to hang out with him until he decides he can't handle our friendship any longer. I also didn't make any comments about him not having money because I know he doesn't have any. But you don't need to be rich to be my friend just be available to go kick it when I wanna drink, be ready to hop online when I wanna play COD, drive me to the airport and other stuff I wanna do without Bae or my boos!

I wouldn't date him if he had money. Our personalities match but he's cheap in a way that I do not agree with.

Oh he's 25 btw so I know a lot of you will roll your eyes and say that's why he doesn't have money. But no he's broke because he's lazy. He knows programming/coding & hes certified in HVAC. He's simply lazy.
 
SlimPickinz said:
I ask because I gained a new friend recently. I thought when we went out it was just as friends but it turns out he considered them dates. No big deal to me call it what you want. But last night he threw me for a loop when he said that relationship stuff to me and started down the road of awkwardness. I'm still going to hang out with him until he decides he can't handle our friendship any longer. I also didn't make any comments about him not having money because I know he doesn't have any. But you don't need to be rich to be my friend just be available to go kick it when I wanna drink, be ready to hop online when I wanna play COD, drive me to the airport and other stuff I wanna do without Bae or my boos!

I wouldn't date him if he had money. Our personalities match but he's cheap in a way that I do not agree with.

Oh he's 25 btw so I know a lot of you will roll your eyes and say that's why he doesn't have money. But no he's broke because he's lazy. He knows programming/coding & hes certified in HVAC. He's simply lazy.
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Rightfully friend zoned. He's useful for the things you mentioned.
 
SlimPickinz said:
Question ladies!

If a man tells you he knows he's not financially stable enough to pursue a long term relationship what would you think of him? Would you appreciate the honesty? Would you think he was trying to clown you? Thoughts, concerns, further questions are welcome!
Click to expand...
Excuse- he is telling you upfront what it is. Then he will continue to act like y'all together to get you sucked in. Then, when you start demanding to much, he will remind you that he wasn't financially stable to pursue a long term relationship and you are being unreasonable.

Drop or use him. Don't get attached.
 
I'm kind of mad because I had the worst date with Jai ever. * Please don't quote because I might delete this later.* He took me to a hole-in-the-wall that he apparently goes to quite often. I took the time to look nice, and he wore a t-shirt & shorts, and was not clean-shaven. His hairy legs showing and everything. The worst part was when he said something funny, and I laughed hard and farted. The place was so small, that it could be heard around the world. I wanted to walk out the door with a chair over my head. He appeared not to notice, but I couldn't just sit there embarrassed, so I told him that I was going to leave. He just laughed and looked confused, like he didn't know what I was talking about. So there I was mad that he took me to a crappy restaurant while dressed like a bum, and I take the cake by farting while wearing a nice outfit. Then I effed up with the chopsticks, and he called the waitress over to give me a fork. It was the worst. I don't know if I'll ever see him again.
KammyGirl said:
Girl those named were interchangeable to me. Lol I juse watched for 'him/her'

So I guess she hates her now because she's dating this guy. Oh well Bim will get over it. Didn't you say she was married? @Ipanema
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Yes, she's married.
 
@Ipanema
Lol Girl none of this matters! You are a woman. Everything works in your favor. Worried about being over dressed? Never. He's dressed like a bum. Playfully tease him he might do better next time. Messed up with chopsticks? Flirt with him, ask him to teach you. The fart? I would be a bit embarrassed too but if he acted like he didn't hear so would I. :look:And move right along. Again, you're a woman.
 
KammyGirl said:
@Ipanema
Lol Girl none of this matters! You are a woman. Everything works in your favor. Worried about being over dressed? Never. He's dressed like a bum. Playfully tease him he might do better next time. Messed up with chopsticks? Flirt with him, ask him to teach you. The fart? I would be a bit embarrassed too but if he acted like he didn't hear so would I. :look:And move right along. Again, you're a woman.
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I agree, none of this needs to be a deal breaker. This is minor annoying stuff that can be avoided in the future with some communication.
 
Y'all know the dude that I've been kinda seeing and asked me what my needs are? So he tells me last minute that we will not be seeing other on Friday because he has plans to go hiking with friends and they "already had this planned" If that is true why am I just hearing about it on Thursday? But I'm not stressing over it. I said ok. He knows it's bs so he continues explaining and I let him know his excuses are falling on deaf ears because I did not ask to hear anything he's telling me. Then he apologizes. Yes ok but please excuse me while I go make other plans for tomorrow night. Lol I ended up doing nothing but binging on the rest of the blacklist since I stopped watching mid season 3.

So at 1am this morning he texted me "I miss u" Really? I don't respond. How's that hiking working out for you? You don't get to ditch me last minute and then get a response to I miss u. No sir. This morning I wake up and ask if there was a reason he texted me at 1am? He was thinking about me. Oh ok that's sweet. Hope you're enjoying hiking. Have a good day and that will be all the communication I give him today.
 
SlimPickinz said:
Question ladies!

If a man tells you he knows he's not financially stable enough to pursue a long term relationship what would you think of him? Would you appreciate the honesty? Would you think he was trying to clown you? Thoughts, concerns, further questions are welcome!
Click to expand...


Been there, done that. Ended after he took me out to meet his friends, and in front of everybody, he told me I couldn't have a drink and had to split an appetizer. The tab came up to $20 per person and he slipped me a $10. Awkward silence ensued but he was unphased.

He's letting you know that he has nothing to offer and if you stick around to be the breadwinner of the situationship, you end up feeling like you are not the prize.
 
Jah wanted me to go with him to secure a venue. It has been a while since I jave been on 6th Street. I did not dress any particular way. I had on a black workout top and some black skinny jeans, with some heels since it was a last minute trip.

First the venue invited us in for shots. A very smooth tequila. And I held my own with the venue manager, asked him questions, just got comfortable as Jah watched me work. That tequila hit and I was so in my element. I felt grown if such a feeling. Listening to a blues band, sipping my amaretto, watching Jah handle business was sexy. I was going to see whether he was going to tip the band and intuitively he did. That is stuff I like.

So much so...well, tequila. It was so delicious. He says he sees what I mean when I say men just end up sticking around. As soon as I get back into town on Monday he wants to meet up again.
 
So the guy I've been fooling around with the last 6 months popped up in Dallas last week (his sister lives here) and we were basically all up under each other this week. :look:

Every time he came over he was talking about now much he missed me, being all sensual and mess and put it down like he never has before. It has always been good but he was on some other stuff this time around, came in lighting my good decorative candles without permission and turning on music and mess.

My cousin was over my house this morning when he said goodbye to me and watched it all with a smirk then asked what was up with him/us

He left me confused and fiending.



I'm pissed :laugh:
 
On the next episode of "When I Should Not Have Entertained The N**** At My Church"

He's so petty. I hate a ol' tit for tat ass ninja. I'm a woman :look: I should be given a pass but damn he tries to match or out do my petty and that's such a turn off :lol:

I've been ignoring him for the past week. I decided to call him yesterday because I didn't see him in church and I started to feel bad because I don't want him to leave the church because of me :lol: (hes one of the musicians) but he's not taking my calls :lol: I generally wouldn't care but because we go to church together I figured I shouldn't just ignore the man and I should be a grown up and end things the right way. Now he's ignoring me :lol: whatever. I left a message saying this is my last time calling. If he doesn't call back then it is what it is. I knew it wasn't going to work out from the beginning. I know now to go with my gut and never waste my time.
 
An old flame has returned essentially saying "it should have been you". It's nice to hear. He wasn't a bad guy but he was cowardly when it mattered most (this was 3 years ago--didn't know what he wanted).

We might meet up in nola this summer :lick:
 
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