*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

KammyGirl said:
Nothing. I would leave it there. I can't help laughing at these fools.
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Girl. The audacity is laughable, I'm just truly trying to figure out why he thought I would be pressed to go out with him after all this time?

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whosthatcurl said:
I need a life. I'm so freaking boring. I need to go out more. I need more adventures. I need more quality people in my life. Why is it so expensive to be human? Why do humans make things so unnecessary complicated?


Can y'all tell I'm bored? Probably having another existential crisis :lachen:
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I feel the same way, I moved to this big ol, new city and had all these great adventures planned but aside from my first weekend here I've been a house mouse. I'm going to get out and mingle once summer gets underway.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I feel the same way, I moved to this big ol, new city and had all these great adventures planned but aside from my first weekend here I've been a house mouse. I'm going to get out and mingle once summer gets underway.
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Giiiiiirl, you may want to start stepping out now. Summer in TX is unconscionably HOT! I stayed indoors or IN a pool last summer. That was it. I'm in Houston though, maybe Dallas is better?
 
whosthatcurl said:
I need a life. I'm so freaking boring. I need to go out more. I need more adventures. I need more quality people in my life. Why is it so expensive to be human? Why do humans make things so unnecessary complicated?


Can y'all tell I'm bored? Probably having another existential crisis :lachen:
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arent you a mom? its harder with a young kid. theres so many grown folk events, happy hours during the week etc to meet ppl id like to go to but alas... cant bring the kid along and when its not mothering its work. pfffft

its getting a little easier as they get older and less dependant.

dont be so hard on yourself.
 
I recently moved from the east coast to NV and while I don't regret it (good job, COL is so much better - especially real estate), the IR dating out here is so over the top. I literally feel ignored by black men out here; like they literally look past me, not even a second glance let alone a cat call. Although I feel like it shouldn't, it really bothers me. :nono: It's so prevalent out here you literally can't go anywhere without it being in your face. It deters me from wanting to go places. :nono: There's so many incidents I can recall but I was shopping in Walmart one day with my son and a middle aged black man and his middle aged white wife or gf, whatever she is, was walking past us in opposite directions and he literally put his arm out as a barrier as to protect her from us (mind you my son is 8 years old). Like what were we gonna do, harm his white snowflake?! :rolleyes: That still bothers me to this day and that happened within the first few months of us being out here. I've never experienced anything like this on the east coast. I don't wanna go back east but I'm thinking TX might be a good next move bc I don't think I can take it, y'all...

ETA: And I can't say I wasn't forewarned bc @DarkJoy is always warning us about Cali and just about everybody in NV is from Cali so it would make sense that nonsense spills out over here and I'm pretty sure @PretteePlease warned me about living out here too... Word of caution: listen to the ladies on here!
 
So I posted on FB that I booked a flight to Barbados in September. A male acquaintence of mine who is from there sent me a message that he has house and car there and could go down with me and I can save some money. Apparently, he goes often and has taken other mutual friend of ours and shown them a good time. He's a cool dude and I don't have any concerns about him personally. I just don't know if I want a guy cramping my style. :look: I'm sure it doesn't mean I gotta hang with him every minute of the day, but still. On the other hand, not paying for a hotel would be fantastic, and it would be cool to have someone to show me around and stuff.

He said he needs to check his schedule and let me know if he can go that week, and for me to think about it.
 
DarkJoy said:
arent you a mom? its harder with a young kid. theres so many grown folk events, happy hours during the week etc to meet ppl id like to go to but alas... cant bring the kid along and when its not mothering its work. pfffft

its getting a little easier as they get older and less dependant.

dont be so hard on yourself.
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Yes I am lol. I have a few hours while he's in school and it's not one of the days I'm working. And yes you're right. Not to mention I work on the weekends...
 
MzLady78 said:
So I posted on FB that I booked a flight to Barbados in September. A male acquaintence of mine who is from there sent me a message that he has house and car there and could go down with me and I can save some money. Apparently, he goes often and has taken other mutual friend of ours and shown them a good time. He's a cool dude and I don't have any concerns about him personally. I just don't know if I want a guy cramping my style. :look: I'm sure it doesn't mean I gotta hang with him every minute of the day, but still. On the other hand, not paying for a hotel would be fantastic, and it would be cool to have someone to show me around and stuff.

He said he needs to check his schedule and let me know if he can go that week, and for me to think about it.
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You're a fellow Dave Ramsey girl, so saving money would be a plus... and :arguing: at still booking trips!

How well do you know him? Will you have access to another place to stay of something happens? Do you want to become romantically involved with him? Would you feel safe?
 
MzLady78 said:
So I posted on FB that I booked a flight to Barbados in September. A male acquaintence of mine who is from there sent me a message that he has house and car there and could go down with me and I can save some money. Apparently, he goes often and has taken other mutual friend of ours and shown them a good time. He's a cool dude and I don't have any concerns about him personally. I just don't know if I want a guy cramping my style. :look: I'm sure it doesn't mean I gotta hang with him every minute of the day, but still. On the other hand, not paying for a hotel would be fantastic, and it would be cool to have someone to show me around and stuff.

He said he needs to check his schedule and let me know if he can go that week, and for me to think about it.
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I love that you travel alone, I'm working my way toward that. I say take him up on his offer. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
 
Dee-Licious said:
You're a fellow Dave Ramsey girl, so saving money would be a plus... and :arguing: at still booking trips!

How well do you know him? Will you have access to another place to stay of something happens? Do you want to become romantically involved with him? Would you feel safe?
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I know, I know. But the flight was only $293 and I was gonna have to spend that anyway to get to the minimum spend on my Amex. And I found some apartment rentals for pretty cheap.

I've known him since high school, I'd feel safe. I'm not interested in him romantically at all, but I really didn't get the impression that he was trying to get at me or anything. He's never shown any interest in me, and I expressed some surprise at his offer. He said he invites friends all the time and apologized if I felt like he was stepping out of bounds, that he was just trying to help me save some money. He's big into horse racing and goes a lot for that. He wanted to check the schedule first and see if there's a race that week. He probably won't go if there isn't.
 
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luving me said:
I love that you travel alone, I'm working my way toward that. I say take him up on his offer. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
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Getting comfortable traveling alone is one of the best things I could have done for myself. I would never go anywhere if I needed a companion.

We'll see, I'm gonna sleep on it. Although I strongly believe in my gut that he's indeed just trying to hook a friend up, we know dudes aren't always truthful about their intentions.
 
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MzLady78 said:
I know, I know. But the flight was only $293 and I was gonna have to spend that anyway to get to the minimum spend on my Amex. And I found some apartment rentals for pretty cheap.

I've known him since high school, I'd feel safe. I'm not interested in him romantically at all, but I really didn't get the impression that he was trying to get at me or anything. He's never shown any interest in me, and I expressed some surprise at his offer. He said he invites friends all the time and apologized if I felt like he was stepping out of bounds, that he was just trying to help me save some money. He's big into horse racing and goes a lot for that. He wanted to check the schedule first and see if there's a race that week. He probably won't go if there isn't.
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I prefer to stay with locals if I can, so if your gut says he's not a creeper, I say do it! You'll probably meet more people (men) through him anyway.
 
JustifiablyMe said:
I recently moved from the east coast to NV and while I don't regret it (good job, COL is so much better - especially real estate), the IR dating out here is so over the top. I literally feel ignored by black men out here; like they literally look past me, not even a second glance let alone a cat call. Although I feel like it shouldn't, it really bothers me. :nono: It's so prevalent out here you literally can't go anywhere without it being in your face. It deters me from wanting to go places. :nono: There's so many incidents I can recall but I was shopping in Walmart one day with my son and a middle aged black man and his middle aged white wife or gf, whatever she is, was walking past us in opposite directions and he literally put his arm out as a barrier as to protect her from us (mind you my son is 8 years old). Like what were we gonna do, harm his white snowflake?! :rolleyes: That still bothers me to this day and that happened within the first few months of us being out here. I've never experienced anything like this on the east coast. I don't wanna go back east but I'm thinking TX might be a good next move bc I don't think I can take it, y'all...

ETA: And I can't say I wasn't forewarned bc @DarkJoy is always warning us about Cali and just about everybody in NV is from Cali so it would make sense that nonsense spills out over here and I'm pretty sure @PretteePlease warned me about living out here too... Word of caution: listen to the ladies on here!
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IR dating is huge where I live, too. I can see how it would be quite a shock when you're used to something else. One time, I was at the beach and I saw a bm with his ww girlfriend/wife and their two mixed kids. The ww was fat and loud. The kids were running wild around some bw who was trying to read a book while sitting on a blanket by herself. I could tell by her posture that the bw was uncomfortable and trying to ignore that family (she seemed like the shy type), but the ww kept yelling "leave that woman alone! Let her read her book. Blah, blah..." The ww kept walking over to her to collect the kids and being loud. There was plenty of beach, so I wonder why they had to sit near her, anyway. Some IR can be so extra.

But I can see it from both sides now. I suggest while in that place to mentally cut off any common tie you think you might have with a bm due to race and culture. It's not there. Cutting the tie = no more being bothered.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
And his breath stinks :(
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Oh no no no no no. I would casually pull out some Altoids, pop one or 2 and then offer him one. Is that rude? Because I do it to people with stinky breath all the time. :look:

So I never came back in to talk about the guy I had a date with on Mother's Day. I'm only bringing him up now because we've actually been out on 5 dates and I'm starting to like him. I was initially concerned with how lame he looked in his instagram even though he was cute the night I met him. He's still kind of lame and not what I pictured as someone I'd date but I've given him a chance and so far so good. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket but I'll see where it goes.
 
JustifiablyMe said:
I recently moved from the east coast to NV and while I don't regret it (good job, COL is so much better - especially real estate), the IR dating out here is so over the top. I literally feel ignored by black men out here; like they literally look past me, not even a second glance let alone a cat call. Although I feel like it shouldn't, it really bothers me. :nono: It's so prevalent out here you literally can't go anywhere without it being in your face. It deters me from wanting to go places. :nono: There's so many incidents I can recall but I was shopping in Walmart one day with my son and a middle aged black man and his middle aged white wife or gf, whatever she is, was walking past us in opposite directions and he literally put his arm out as a barrier as to protect her from us (mind you my son is 8 years old). Like what were we gonna do, harm his white snowflake?! :rolleyes: That still bothers me to this day and that happened within the first few months of us being out here. I've never experienced anything like this on the east coast. I don't wanna go back east but I'm thinking TX might be a good next move bc I don't think I can take it, y'all...

ETA: And I can't say I wasn't forewarned bc @DarkJoy is always warning us about Cali and just about everybody in NV is from Cali so it would make sense that nonsense spills out over here and I'm pretty sure @PretteePlease warned me about living out here too... Word of caution: listen to the ladies on here!
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Girl...u aint gotta tell me. Im on the east and one of my friends packed up and moved to cali. Ive never seen her be single for this long in my life. In nyc she stayed having a man. In Cali..she has been single for atleast 4 years now. She doesnt talk about it and she doesnt date out so i already figured what the real reason was. You couldnt pay me to move out there. Dating aside...i couldnt do it for long term. When i visit the west after a few days im ready to go back east
 
I ended up going out with dude again on Saturday.

Anxiety is going to kill me. For the past 2+ years, I've gone on so many dates that it doesn't phase me when they lead to nothing. But now that I've met someone I really like, anxiety has taken over and I fear something going wrong. Last time I met someone I really liked was early 2016 and he ghosted on me on Valentine's Day weekend. I need to calm myself down and remind myself that whatever is meant to be will be, but I'm tired of dating and going through this cycle that leads to nowhere.
 
gimbap said:
I ended up going out with dude again on Saturday.

Anxiety is going to kill me. For the past 2+ years, I've gone on so many dates that it doesn't phase me when they lead to nothing. But now that I've met someone I really like, anxiety has taken over and I fear something going wrong. Last time I met someone I really liked was early 2016 and he ghosted on me on Valentine's Day weekend. I need to calm myself down and remind myself that whatever is meant to be will be, but I'm tired of dating and going through this cycle that leads to nowhere.
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Damn. What an arsehole!

Try not to stress. Enjoy spending time with this new guy and let things flow. If something happens, great. If not, you know your life will go on.
 
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