*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Has anyone read The Four Agreements? Last night was the 3rd time this book was recommended to me so I bought it. I really wanted to go get it from the book store so I could have it right away but I bought it on Amazon along with 2 other books by him that go together it seems because all 3 were only like $20 with Prime.

It comes with the original book, the 2nd book The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self Mastery and the 3rd book The Mastery of Love. These aren't relationship books - I don't really like those as I find they stress me out and make me feel like there are all these rules to dating and living that I should be following that I can't quite seem to get the hang of.

These are more about being better within yourself. I hope I enjoy them. I've read good reviews. Anyone ever heard of or read these?
 
Had a good day with Lee yesterday. He is now 38 and he has been mentioning being ready to get married. It started off with jokes but he is talking about in passing now.... :look: I am like oh ok. Makes sense- he is getting older and most of his friends are married.

W- he asked me out a week or two ago but due to the issues with N. Korea, I won't see him for a while. Duty calls. He is still liking stuff on my facebook and sending me random message of funny videos in my inbox. Too bad I won't see him- I wanted to see where his head was.

So going back to that MDLWLY book- I really want to try some stuff out with new dates. Flirting, teasing, avoiding discovery questions that are asked but flipping it around, being elusive. I always thought of dating as a chore but I think thinking about it in a different way will help me get excited about it.

Business wise- one of my clients agreed to increase my billing rate so that I can do more for her company. Not the main one- I am still waiting to hear on that. Debts are getting paid off and I am setting myself up to take care of this student loan coming soon. Still keeping an eye out for other opportunities as well. My 2017 horoscope said this year would be a great money year for me. SO far, they have been correct #Leo
 
Soooo I know in this day and age, especially if you are single childless BW under the age of 35 to say this, but I have added a new " I don't" to my list, and that is I will no longer date men who have a kid(s).

I've come to this decision because the last 3 dating situations I was in was with men who had kids. I've never realized until the last one, how much I don't want to date this type of man anymore, regardless of how "seemingly cordial" the relationship is with him, the baby mama and the kid(s) are on the surface.

I'm putting this out into the universe for it to stick. I want a family of my own one day and refuse to be another baby mama or deal with the disappearing acts of his BM and child needing him any old time of the day (or night). I realize I'm still young enough (and attractive) enough to date a man who doesn't have that baggage going on in his life. Even if I need to cross racial and age lines to keep this list, so be it!
 
movingforward13 said:
Thank you-
And that is what it comes down to. Lee and I are compatible but I don't trust him. And due to familiarity, loneliness, love or a combination- I didn't leave him alone (block) when I should have. So now I have this great association but I question everything he says--- even when he is being transparent. Has he really learned? Does he understand what he has? Does he get it?
But like you said- he got one more time to fail and I am out the picture for good. I hope he gets that--- because I do.
Click to expand...

This is what sticks out to me. If I am correct, you have been feeling this way for months. That is too long to not trust the man in your life especially when you aren't even married. Not trusting someone can be a significant source of stress because you are on guard emotionally and psychologically. It is draining and in a way cancels out the compatibility that you may think you have.
From what I have read of your relationship so far, I would work on letting this go. No relationship is perfect, but again, I am considering how long you have been feeling the lack of trust and it is too long in my opinion.
 
When I'm in the kind of mood I'm in now I can get mean. I'm on okc trolling the hell out of these dudes. Lol I should probably stop. Dude messages me with some incoherent message and his profile photo is a pic of like 50 white boys in tuxedos. Probably a wedding. So I sent him a message correcting every sentence of his message and then went in on his photo asking 1. If he knew any black people and 2. If his friends know he posted their pics without blurring their faces 3. which one he was and hopefully he wasn't the one in the center with the high waters and white socks. And if it wasn't him why did he let his friend wear those.

Smh Someone come and take my phone away.
 
KammyGirl said:
When I'm in the kind of mood I'm in now I can get mean. I'm on okc trolling the hell out of these dudes. Lol I should probably stop. Dude messages me with some incoherent message and his profile photo is a pic of like 50 white boys in tuxedos. Probably a wedding. So I sent him a message correcting every sentence of his message and then went in on his photo asking 1. If he knew any black people and 2. If his friends know he posted their pics without blurring their faces 3. which one he was and hopefully he wasn't the one in the center with the high waters and white socks. And if it wasn't him why did he let his friend wear those.

Smh Someone come and take my phone away.
Click to expand...
 
KammyGirl said:
Has anyone read The Four Agreements? Last night was the 3rd time this book was recommended to me so I bought it. I really wanted to go get it from the book store so I could have it right away but I bought it on Amazon along with 2 other books by him that go together it seems because all 3 were only like $20 with Prime.

It comes with the original book, the 2nd book The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self Mastery and the 3rd book The Mastery of Love. These aren't relationship books - I don't really like those as I find they stress me out and make me feel like there are all these rules to dating and living that I should be following that I can't quite seem to get the hang of.

These are more about being better within yourself. I hope I enjoy them. I've read good reviews. Anyone ever heard of or read these?
Click to expand...
I've read it! Someone in another thread recommended it a while ago. Great read!
 
**SaSSy** said:
Soooo I know in this day and age, especially if you are single childless BW under the age of 35 to say this, but I have added a new " I don't" to my list, and that is I will no longer date men who have a kid(s).

I've come to this decision because the last 3 dating situations I was in was with men who had kids. I've never realized until the last one, how much I don't want to date this type of man anymore, regardless of how "seemingly cordial" the relationship is with him, the baby mama and the kid(s) are on the surface.

I'm putting this out into the universe for it to stick. I want a family of my own one day and refuse to be another baby mama or deal with the disappearing acts of his BM and child needing him any old time of the day (or night). I realize I'm still young enough (and attractive) enough to date a man who doesn't have that baggage going on in his life. Even if I need to cross racial and age lines to keep this list, so be it!
Click to expand...

I know people give online dating a bad name but this is why I do it. I filter my results to only see men without children. I dont see, talk, entertain those that do. My last 2 relationships (albeit quick) were with childless men. My current lil boo has none as well.
I like to get up and go, I like to be #1 and as long as its possible...Im dating a man with no kids....Unapologetic about it.
 
I don't mind a guy with one kid! but two or more no thank you

I told myself I wouldn't get caught up with this new guy, but I find us being more and more attached. His culture has beautiful people and I'm starting to feel intimidating by other women even though he is into me! I need to start rotating
 
KammyGirl said:
Was it the kind of book where you apply things to your life, things to think about? I always worry that these books are good in the moment then kinda like...ok but how does it apply to life?
Click to expand...
I read it months ago and still think of it. Because there are only four things to remember, it's easy to focus on applying it to your life. Anyone who's interested...google the title with PDF behind it and you can download it free online.
 
whosthatcurl said:
I'm asking ol' dude what's the difference between dating and relationships and he says "you tell me" Tf? o_O

It's not a hard question. I don't think this is gonna last long.
Click to expand...
So I asked Current Coloring Partner the same question again when he got off work. Sometimes I forget that man has 2 jobs(we work at one together and he's an assistant manager at another place). He gave me a more suitable answer, but he wanted me to go first :confused: He better stop playing with me. I told him I only go crazy girlfriend cause I care. :lachen:
 
SuchMagnificance said:
I know people give online dating a bad name but this is why I do it. I filter my results to only see men without children. I dont see, talk, entertain those that do. My last 2 relationships (albeit quick) were with childless men. My current lil boo has none as well.
I like to get up and go, I like to be #1 and as long as its possible...Im dating a man with no kids....Unapologetic about it.
Click to expand...
What website are you meeting these childless men? Tinder is full with them (men with kids), but they just wanna hookup
 
Last edited:
whosthatcurl said:
So I asked Current Coloring Partner the same question again when he got off work. Sometimes I forget that man has 2 jobs(we work at one together and he's an assistant manager at another place). He gave me a more suitable answer, but he wanted me to go first :confused: He better stop playing with me. I told him I only go crazy girlfriend cause I care. :lachen:
Click to expand...

Girlfriend, you say?
 
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