*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I am tired of being looked at like there must be something wrong with me and how it is my fault. I'm seriously reaching my breaking point with being questioned and talked about. I'm tired of lashing out at them.

It's hard to have faith in a being that watches you be so unhappy. How can I believe, when you watch me suffer? How can I believe, when you let them humilate me? Let them question me with judgement? When you watch me fight to hide my actual feelings and pain? When you basically tell me I will feel this pain and emptiness for the rest of my life? Do I not deserve love and happiness?
 
MzLady78 said:
Bad week. Multiple breakdowns. I'm definitely going through something right now. I think island dude was a distraction for a little bit, but now with him out of the picture, I'm kind of back to where I was before I met him. I deleted all my online profiles. I'm done, at least for awhile.
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Hugs...:bighug:

How are you feeling today? Do you think this is related to relationships or something else?
 
SurferBabe said:
Hugs...:bighug:

How are you feeling today? Do you think this is related to relationships or something else?
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Thanks.

I'm ok. Having drinks with my homie, then heading to Mom's for dinner.

It's a combination of things.

1) I realized I'm not over the last dude. We actually had a convo the day I left for T&C the first time that made me realize we were really, really done, for real this time. I thought when I saw him in January that maybe we could give it another go because some things had changed in his life, but I learned very quickly that I was wrong. He also confessed something that left me absolutely heartbroken. I blame myself because had I continued to leave him alone, I would have never known.

2) Losing my ex was essentially losing my best friend. I miss him terribly. NOBODY knew me like him. We'd been through a lot, had fights where we wouldn't speak for months, but I always knew we'd make up. Not this time. I can't get past 11 years of hiding a whole friggin family from me and the fact that he literally lied to my face about being married.

Both of these things happened around the same time. Then I went away and met dude and I wasn't really thinking about this stuff anymore. Then that went south and while it wasn't serious enough for me to be too hurt about it, it was another disappointment on top of everything else.

I'm just tired of everything. Being hurt, not being valued, being treated so poorly compared to how I treat others. I'm fed TF up. I've blocked everyone, I'm ready for the past to really be the past now.
 
SurferBabe said:
Is there any way you can distance yourself from these women? Are their criticisms related to you being single?
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PLEASE DON'T QUOTE. I MAY DELETE.


Not really. I can try physically but it doesn't keep the words from hurting.

And yes. Everything I say and do must be reason why I am single. I roll my eyes "That's why you don't have a man"

I don't feel like participating in something "That's why you don't have a man"

"Why are you single? You're beautiful so that means something must have happened in your childhood or upbringing that causes you to be unmarried" Things like that.

It's coming from bitter people, but it still doesn't stop the sting.
 
@TwoSnapsUp

I get it, those words definitely can hurt. But it speaks to what those individuals value. They choose to speak on what you don't have vs. what you do have, and I feel like those type of people are overcompensating for their own shortcomings. So consider the source. Could you imagine the same type of response from someone like Michelle Obama or Oprah? Even though they are coupled, they place the highest value on who they are as individuals. They'd never hold your singleness over your head. Instead they would encourage you to continue to build a great life for yourself. They'd give you useful advice and would uplift you when you feel low instead of try to bring you down. There are also many wonderful, dynamic women who are uncoupled and unmarried for a variety of reasons, and it doesn't take away from their value in society. These are the type of women who deserve a place in your life, not the bitter people.
 
I canceled the date I had for this weekend because things are moving kind of fast. Before the end of the last one he already had the plans laid out for the next one...which was to show me around his town. I still appreciate it though. He asked me to come along on a future trip with his friends and family. I'm actually excited about it (which must mean I like him) but again, I don't want to move too fast.

Instead, I had a male friend over. Last fall/winter we were doing this weird dating, but not quite, "thing". He offered to come by. I figured I'd put him to work while he's here (my new thing :look: ). I had him set up my tv and test out his firestick on it since I don't have mine yet. He was acting weird the whole time. Wanted to drink up my liquour and smoke bud. I don't know if he's trying to escape esomething or what, but he was unusually absentminded. When it was time for him to go, he almost walked out without his person items :perplexed: I helped him finished packing his bookbag and let him leave. He left behind the fruit I bought him. Even though we had planned our meetup in advance, I have no idea what that was all about. He didn't try to make a move (thank god) cus he wasn't getting any or even a kiss. When he left I felt annoyed and slightly disgusted. Smh.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next date wih my beau. I'm hoping to secure another dude for the rotation in the mean time though.
 
LovinLea said:
Sometimes I feel like women settle for these men that I'm saying no to and it works out for them in the end, because they get a ring.

The guy who lives in the building I work in started to text me again. I've seen you bring women home, then leave in the morning, and you try to convince me they are just friends. I also saw how you disrespected your ex. I just keep telling him to leave me alone to do my job.

The guy who "thinks I'm perfect but didn't plan on dating someone with a child" called me up after we haven't seen each other in a couple of months to ask me if I can meet up with him in 20 minutes. What woman of value would you ask out by saying "I'm already out but if you can be ready in 20 minutes we can meet up before I head home"?

F these n's.
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I *tried* to do spring cleaning.

The guy who lives in the building asked me on a date to go to the restaurant attached to the building. I texted him back that it's never going to happen.

I texted guy who doesn't want a woman with children and told him we should just be friends because he's not seriously trying to date and I would rather date someone who wants kids. He calls me and tells me there are a lot of types of friends, boyfriends, best friends, friends you just say hi, and f* buddies. Then texts me 1 AM to hang out. He knows I'm celibate.
 
Can I jump in on the pity party? I'm at a horrible place emotionally right now. Got comfortable in a friend zone situation. I'm kicking myself for getting so emotionally attached to someone I was just shooting the breeze with. My only saving grace is that I never slept with him and he never brought it up either. I know better but somehow I let my guard down due to extreme loneliness and dragged this man everywhere with me. He picked up the tab for everything and wouldn't let me pay. My mother warned me about this type of lonliness years ago and I never listened. I completely stopped inviting him to stuff. We speak once in a awhile and I have to suck it up because he never did anything wrong to me.

He was just so nice to me and I got caught up in wishful thinking. He is happily single with no intentions of being in a relationship right now. He was always available to hang out since he had no commitments. I miss his companionship even more now that I've gotten a small taste of how it is to be treated nicely. It going to be difficult for the next few months because we have the same mutual friends and I will see him everywhere for a long time. Oy veh!!!
 
LovinLea said:
I texted guy who doesn't want a woman with children and told him we should just be friends because he's not seriously trying to date and I would rather date someone who wants kids. He calls me and tells me there are a lot of types of friends, boyfriends, best friends, friends you just say hi, and f* buddies. Then texts me 1 AM to hang out. He knows I'm celibate.
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I don't even know him and he is getting on my darn nerves.
 
MzLady78 said:
@keyawarren, so you didn't go away for vaca?
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Of course I did. I came back on Saturday
IMG
5km3iw.jpg


:look:
 
MzLady78 said:
Oh, you did go, that's great! Glad you had a good time!
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Thanks. I booked on Tuesday and left on Wednesday. I called my mama from the airport :look:. I needed a break. I was able to do alladat because I've been trying to leave since March. I've been so tired. I had the time off already so I just up and left. Totally worth it. Some of myfriends didn't eben notice the absence :lol:

I can't wait to go again next year. I want to hike the trails in the rain forest. Btw, I stayed in the hotel across the street from the one you suggested! I walked past it on my way to Walgreens :yep:. Thanks for the insight.
 
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