*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

SurferBabe said:
I've tried to remain empowered as a single woman but it has become impossible. I'm constantly surrounded by couples. I'm sitting here alone having dinner and the couple next to me is being affectionate and I'm trying my best to hold back tears. I have so much love to give and yet guys step over me to chase women who won't return their phone calls. I'm starting to give up.
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:giveheart: don't give up. perhaps it's time for a break.

it's not just you. these men these days of any race are acting a fool.

I swear the advent of the internet has completely changed the way we court and romance and marry. too many damn choices. men have become more fickle than women.

I was an adult before the internet and watched the decline as the dating world slid more and more into hookup culture and this horrid blasé attitude towards marriage.

anyhoo... sorry for the rant!

youre not alone. we're here to listen. :grouphug:
 
Reactivated my OKC profile Saturday morning because I was up early and bored and wanted to look at guys. Soon as I sign on I get 20 messages. Out of all of them I found one guy whose message sounded genuine and not a cut and paste. But he didn't have a pic. I responded anyway. He was nice. Asked for my number and we started texting. He sends a pic but he's only kind of attractive to me. No big problem. He's engaging enough where I continue to entertain him.

He asked "do you want to talk on the phone" after he sent the pic. I didn't want to. (:look: Gimme a break - this is so freaking hard for me! lol) Texting convo drops off and I go on with my day. He texts me later and says he enjoyed our convo and he is going to call me tomorrow. This wasn't a question and I could feel the annoyance through his text. Haha I had brunch with my friend the next day and just said ok I'll be home around 3.

So we talked yesterday for longer than what I thought would be a few minutes and I like his voice. He's seems kind of mellow. Low key and laid back. Cool. He asked me out for last night but I said no. Felt like it was too soon and short notice. He understood and asked me out for tonight instead. I agree and we're meeting around 8:30 at a place close to my house.

Here's the thing though. He's said some things that makes me feel like he's putting a lot of pressure on this one date. He's like "I just want to hurry up and get off OKC. No pressure or anything wink wink" Maybe I'm just overthinking that because I'm looking for a reason to write him off. He seems sweet and interested and text me this morning saying he can't lie he woke up thinking about me and excited about the date tonight. Does that make him seem too...keen? I don't want to be one of those women that complains about not having any prospects and then when someone shows interest I complain they seem too into it. I'm not trying to be the Goldilocks of dating ya know.
 
KammyGirl said:
Reactivated my OKC profile Saturday morning because I was up early and bored and wanted to look at guys. Soon as I sign on I get 20 messages. Out of all of them I found one guy whose message sounded genuine and not a cut and paste. But he didn't have a pic. I responded anyway. He was nice. Asked for my number and we started texting. He sends a pic but he's only kind of attractive to me. No big problem. He's engaging enough where I continue to entertain him.

He asked "do you want to talk on the phone" after he sent the pic. I didn't want to. :)look: Gimme a break - this is so freaking hard for me! lol) Texting convo drops off and I go on with my day. He texts me later and says he enjoyed our convo and he is going to call me tomorrow. This wasn't a question and I could feel the annoyance through his text. Haha I had brunch with my friend the next day and just said ok I'll be home around 3.

So we talked yesterday for longer than what I thought would be a few minutes and I like his voice. He's seems kind of mellow. Low key and laid back. Cool. He asked me out for last night but I said no. Felt like it was too soon and short notice. He understood and asked me out for tonight instead. I agree and we're meeting around 8:30 at a place close to my house.

Here's the thing though. He's said some things that makes me feel like he's putting a lot of pressure on this one date. He's like "I just want to hurry up and get off OKC. No pressure or anything wink wink" Maybe I'm just overthinking that because I'm looking for a reason to write him off. He seems sweet and interested and text me this morning saying he can't lie he woke up thinking about me and excited about the date tonight. Does that make him seem too...keen? I don't want to be one of those women that complains about not having any prospects and then when someone shows interest I complain they seem too into it. I'm not trying to be the Goldilocks of dating ya know.
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I wouldn't over think it too much right now, at this stage (haven't met yet). From what you said, he seems interested. At this point, I'd only be worried about if he seemed harmful (like..if he's crazy, etc). If I didn't think so, I'd go on the date with no other thoughts about him.

Even if he is too keen, I'd write him off after the date.

Good luck and report back!
 
KammyGirl said:
Reactivated my OKC profile Saturday morning because I was up early and bored and wanted to look at guys. Soon as I sign on I get 20 messages. Out of all of them I found one guy whose message sounded genuine and not a cut and paste. But he didn't have a pic. I responded anyway. He was nice. Asked for my number and we started texting. He sends a pic but he's only kind of attractive to me. No big problem. He's engaging enough where I continue to entertain him.

He asked "do you want to talk on the phone" after he sent the pic. I didn't want to. :)look: Gimme a break - this is so freaking hard for me! lol) Texting convo drops off and I go on with my day. He texts me later and says he enjoyed our convo and he is going to call me tomorrow. This wasn't a question and I could feel the annoyance through his text. Haha I had brunch with my friend the next day and just said ok I'll be home around 3.

So we talked yesterday for longer than what I thought would be a few minutes and I like his voice. He's seems kind of mellow. Low key and laid back. Cool. He asked me out for last night but I said no. Felt like it was too soon and short notice. He understood and asked me out for tonight instead. I agree and we're meeting around 8:30 at a place close to my house.

Here's the thing though. He's said some things that makes me feel like he's putting a lot of pressure on this one date. He's like "I just want to hurry up and get off OKC. No pressure or anything wink wink" Maybe I'm just overthinking that because I'm looking for a reason to write him off. He seems sweet and interested and text me this morning saying he can't lie he woke up thinking about me and excited about the date tonight. Does that make him seem too...keen? I don't want to be one of those women that complains about not having any prospects and then when someone shows interest I complain they seem too into it. I'm not trying to be the Goldilocks of dating ya know.
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It's hard to tell. Sometimes eager beavers have ulterior motives, but on the other hand some guys just know what they want and date with a purpose. He does seem eager. I guess you'll get a better gauge during the date. Can't wait to hear about it!
 
quirkydimples said:
It's hard to tell. Sometimes eager beavers have ulterior motives, but on the other hand some guys just know what they want and date with a purpose. He does seem eager. I guess you'll get a better gauge during the date. Can't wait to hear about it!
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I agree @quirkydimples! I had a similar conversation with my guy at the beginning when we first met. I asked him straight out is it him wanting to be "off the market" or is it ME that's making him feel so strongly. His answer and actions lined up with what I was comfortable with. I say go with it and see what happens. If his eagerness becomes a turnoff, then you know what to do.
 
KammyGirl said:
Reactivated my OKC profile Saturday morning because I was up early and bored and wanted to look at guys. Soon as I sign on I get 20 messages. Out of all of them I found one guy whose message sounded genuine and not a cut and paste. But he didn't have a pic. I responded anyway. He was nice. Asked for my number and we started texting. He sends a pic but he's only kind of attractive to me. No big problem. He's engaging enough where I continue to entertain him.

He asked "do you want to talk on the phone" after he sent the pic. I didn't want to. :)look: Gimme a break - this is so freaking hard for me! lol) Texting convo drops off and I go on with my day. He texts me later and says he enjoyed our convo and he is going to call me tomorrow. This wasn't a question and I could feel the annoyance through his text. Haha I had brunch with my friend the next day and just said ok I'll be home around 3.

So we talked yesterday for longer than what I thought would be a few minutes and I like his voice. He's seems kind of mellow. Low key and laid back. Cool. He asked me out for last night but I said no. Felt like it was too soon and short notice. He understood and asked me out for tonight instead. I agree and we're meeting around 8:30 at a place close to my house.

Here's the thing though. He's said some things that makes me feel like he's putting a lot of pressure on this one date. He's like "I just want to hurry up and get off OKC. No pressure or anything wink wink" Maybe I'm just overthinking that because I'm looking for a reason to write him off. He seems sweet and interested and text me this morning saying he can't lie he woke up thinking about me and excited about the date tonight. Does that make him seem too...keen? I don't want to be one of those women that complains about not having any prospects and then when someone shows interest I complain they seem too into it. I'm not trying to be the Goldilocks of dating ya know.
Click to expand...

Yes. The man is too keen. Such men were a turn off and annoying when I was dating. But I would still go on the date and see what happens.
 
movingforward13 said:
@KammyGirl - I would be more concerned that he didn't have a pic on his profile. Dudes who are cheating make profiles without a pic so their woman's friends won't see him on the dating site.
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I believe that as well. The guy that asked me to be a side chick because he fell out of love with his GF didn't have a pic. He messaged me one and had the nerve to be ugly.
 
movingforward13 said:
@KammyGirl - I would be more concerned that he didn't have a pic on his profile. Dudes who are cheating make profiles without a pic so their woman's friends won't see him on the dating site.
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Hmm hadn't thought of that. I don't have a reason to believe he's attached but how could I know, right?

TwoSnapsUp said:
I believe that as well. The guy that asked me to be a side chick because he fell out of love with his GF didn't have a pic. He messaged me one and had the nerve to be ugly.
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:rofl:
 
I'm heading home from the date. Umm...boring!!! I don't know what I expected but he just seems so dull. He asked me out again saying he's free Thursday. I told him I would let him know. I'll probably go hang if I don't have anything else to do but he just didn't seem that much fun.

He's got some things going for himself. Good job, already owns property but seems kind of cheap. He has a roommate even though he can afford to live on his own talking about he's trying to save money when he makes nearly 10k in rent from his tenants. Could be lies I don't care but I thought that was strange.
 
This morning was rough! Just dont know what doing or lack of doing when it even comes to the online thing. Signed up for Match and still nothing, minimal guys reach out. I dont think I am ugly, may be overweight, size 14/16. Just in my feelings and it is not even that time of month...

Glad the weather is getting nice to get out more, thats the bright side of things!

side note: Realizing I need to follow through with things didnt even finish MDLWLY!
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
This morning was rough! Just dont know what doing or lack of doing when it even comes to the online thing. Signed up for Match and still nothing, minimal guys reach out. I dont think I am ugly, may be overweight, size 14/16. Just in my feelings and it is not even that time of month...

Glad the weather is getting nice to get out more, thats the bright side of things!

side note: Realizing I need to follow through with things didnt even finish MDLWLY!
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Only old white men hit me up on Match. I'm hoping to get out more this summer and start meeting new people. This can't be life for me.
 
DarkJoy said:
I might try it sometime but isn't it religious based? I'm not religious.

when I was on okc things were poppin. 2-3 dates per week and 2 year long things.
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When it started years ago, I think it was. It's not anymore. You can choose to reveal your religion/lack of religion or not. And then you can rate how important that is to you. Be prepared to write a dissertation to get started....:lachen:

They take that algorithm seriously.
 
Was suppose to meet up with a guy... someone I know, met a few times before.
He wants me to drive all the way to Tyson's Corner and I live in Silver Spring, closer to Laurel (if you live in the area).... so I told him no, that was like a 45 minute to an hour drive for me but I wouldn't mind meeting up in DC.
He pressed me coming out to VA then gave up. Like literally just gave up. So I asked again if he wanted to meet in DC. He claims he doesn't know any spots in DC (but he is from the area).
So I said ok and stopped replying. These men are too old for me to explain how they are messing up. At the very least be a gentleman and don't ask me to drive so far. Even if we aren't dating. Who does that.
 
IMG_5975.jpg IMG_5974.JPG
MzLady78 said:
I don't know why but I'm feeling very defeated today. Nothing even happened, but I have that tightness in my chest like I'm about to start bawling. *sigh*
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For some reason your post reminded me of these that came up on my feeds today. I won't lie, I feel the same sometimes. But other times, I feel that 1. The one for me is out there 2. By watching all my agemates be in bad relationships/divorce I dodged a bullet by waiting and 3. Tomorrow, I will wake up and I will be ok. And happy. And have a lovely day. Despite/because of being single. Xoxo I hope you feel better tomorrow.
 
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Dposh167 said:
For those of u who have been feeling down its not just you. This weekend i was just in an emotional funk for some reason. I didnt even wanna go out and enjoy the nice weather cuz i felt blah. It just happened randomly too.
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Yeah, it was so nice and I literally only left the house briefly on Sunday to get my migraine medication that I had run out off 3 days prior.

ivyness said:
View attachment 394391 View attachment 394389

For some reason your post reminded me of these that came up on my feeds today. I won't lie, I feel the same sometimes. But other times, I feel that 1. The one for me is out there 2. By watching all my agemates be in bad relationships/divorce I dodged a bullet by waiting and 3. Tomorrow, I will wake up and I will be ok. And happy. And have a lovely day. Despite/because of being single. Xoxo I hope you feel better tomorrow.
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Thanks for this, I appreciate it.
 
Dposh167 said:
So I just ended a year long situationship. Well it was a year and 3 months to be exact. We werent exclusive but we acted like we were in a relationship though. I met him right after i got out of a 6 year relationship that ended in my ex cheating. I wasnt trying to jump into a new relationship that quickly so we kept it casual for a while. But then feelings got involved for both of us by month 10. Our chemistry was amazing and we spent so much time together we really became good friends and a support system for each other. He told me by month 10 that he was in love with me and he could see himself with me for a long time....

Fast forward 5 months later..we were still not exclusive. By this time i was ready to start something up again. I was over my ex and feeling good. I had this guy who loves me just the way i was. But didnt want to deal with a label:confused:. We have had serious convos about it and it looks like he doesnt want to budge. Our last convo on this subject was in feb and he told me "we arent there yet". "He isnt sure he can do the relationship thing again"...blah blah blah. So i ended it a few weeks later:oops:

I feel bad for 1 main reason. The way i did it wasnt the best. I can have a cold heart when im not happy and i kinda just went MIA from him with no explanation for 3 weeks. And then popped back up and said i dont wanna do this anymore. I guess he was shocked b/c he thought i was happy doing what we were doing. Even tho i warned him in 2017 im looking for a real relationship whether its with or without him.

Its amazing how a man will try to guilt u into making it seem like doing what u want is wrong. He told me why leave a good man who loves you and gives you all of him just for a label? He is right...he truly loved me and treated me even better than my cheating ex. But i was tired of doing this non relationship on HIS terms. Not having a title meant he can use excuses when he does something out of bounds since he isnt official. I already had a boyfriend do that to me so im not about to go there with a man who isnt even my man.

It sux. We were so good together. But i cant do the commitment phobe. Now that im over my cheating ex and feel ready to go back out there i look forward to meeting a man who knows what he wants and sticks with it
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So the year long situationship i ended recently....i received a lengthy email from him saying he is very hurt and he wanted me to be his girlfriend...but I just had to be impatient over a title. He said if thats all im chasing good luck finding a man who will give u the world when thats all ur basing the relationship on is a title o_O. He said i should have just recognized the real love we had and when that time comes for us to be together it will be the real deal. He made sure to include the note that he wasnt sure when that wouldve been tho.:rolleyes:

I wanted to send him a gif of that commercial with the old woman who says "Thats not how this works..thats not how any of this works":p

I told him im about to be 33. I dont have time to waste on a man who may want a commitment someday...and maybe with me. I told him im looking for more than what he is willing to give. I did apologize again for how abrubt i was at ending it, which i did beat myself up about because im trying to be better at not ghosting people i care about. I told him we can still be friends. But he seems pretty over me right now.

I've been reading a lot of self help books lately and one of them said when a man wants you...he wants you. There is nothing that will get in the way of that. So for thus man to KNOW he wanted me as his gfriend..but couldnt make it official is byond me. I think he needs to get to the root of his commitment phobia before he puts blame on me
 
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