*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

I had a pretty good conversation with my ex last night.
Takeaways:
  • He feels like I misled him about my goals :spinning: ( I believe he fell in love with the idea of me..)
  • He felt like he was doing 90% of the leg work and I wasn't being appreciative or serious :rolleyes:
  • Thinks I am ultimately a trophy wife and I need to come to terms with that. o_O
I don't agree with 85% of the things he said, but I'm going to make it a point to start listening more. Anyways, its clear to me now that I have to stop seeing Nigerian.. I don't want to lead men on anymore. He's going to take this hard but better now than later when his feelings are more intense.
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
I deleted my online profile. This just isn't for me. It got to the point where I was speaking to people out of boredom. I got tired of having conversations about nothing, among other things.

I've officially given up on finding love. It's just not in the cards for me and I can either accept it and move on, or hold on to the hope that I'll receive something that will never come. I think I'll choose the former. At least I can keep my sanity.

*And yes I go out, have changed up my appearance, smiled more, read books, done LOA, have gone out alone and out of my area, etc, etc, etc. It is what it is.
Click to expand...

I know when you're feeling like this, there's not really much anyone can say to make you feel better so I'll just give you a hug. I understand.

:bighug:
 
silverbuttons said:
I had a pretty good conversation with my ex last night.
Takeaways:
  • He feels like I misled him about my goals :spinning: ( I believe he fell in love with the idea of me..)
  • He felt like he was doing 90% of the leg work and I wasn't being appreciative or serious :rolleyes:
  • Thinks I am ultimately a trophy wife and I need to come to terms with that. o_O
I don't agree with 85% of the things he said, but I'm going to make it a point to start listening more. Anyways, its clear to me now that I have to stop seeing Nigerian.. I don't want to lead men on anymore. He's going to take this hard but better now than later when his feelings are more intense.
Click to expand...
Wait why do you have to stop seeing the new guy? Are you not interested in seeing where things go with him or you just having fun?
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
I deleted my online profile. This just isn't for me. It got to the point where I was speaking to people out of boredom. I got tired of having conversations about nothing, among other things.

I've officially given up on finding love. It's just not in the cards for me and I can either accept it and move on, or hold on to the hope that I'll receive something that will never come. I think I'll choose the former. At least I can keep my sanity.

*And yes I go out, have changed up my appearance, smiled more, read books, done LOA, have gone out alone and out of my area, etc, etc, etc. It is what it is.
Click to expand...
((Hugs)) I've felt like this too before and people were always saying it sneaks up on you when you least expect it and I was like :lala:

But sometimes it can happen that way. Once you really stop looking and live your life things sometimes fall into place with little effort.
 
On another note there is a friend that I have that is so damn bitter and it is starting to wear on me. I should have seen it before because she used to be all ears for my fights with my ex but when I talked about us going out or doing something fun you could tell she wasn't interested. Then when we broke up in December I didn't tell her but the news made its rounds through the grapevine. She called and couldn't wait to get all the details - which I didn't give.

Now that I'm single all she wants to do is sit around and bash men and talk about how I'm delusional to expect to find someone I click with. When we talk she's either encouraging me to settle or give up and I can't stand it. She's divorced, never remarried and has been single for years and years and years. Never heard about her dating anyone or anything and that's fine but I am not joining the old and bitter clan. I can be bitter some days but I keep that crap to myself or come here and vent. Not dump all over everyone actually trying to have a partner.

Worst part is she might not even know she's doing this. It's just her thing. Her personality. Like she's been this way for so long she can't see it as a problem.
 
So this happened to me the other day(stolen from my Facebook post):

Random dude: Good morning sexy, where you goin?
Me: Good Morning (keeps walking)
Random dude: (Drives off and turns back around)
Random dude: What's your name
Me: No thank you, I'm not interested right now.
Random dude: What's your name (incomprehensible words due to traffic)
Me: (anxiously waits for the light to change)
Random dude: What's your name?
Me: (a little irritated) No thank you, I'm not interested.
Random Dude: But you're beautiful. What, am I ugly to you?
Me: (Looks aghast) (quickly crosses the street, cause thank Gawd the light has finally changed).

I just wanted to go home from walking my kid to school. Also, my coat almost reaches my knees (I'm 5'3) and my hair is in a bun with a scarf wrapped around my head. It's too early in the morning for this.
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
I deleted my online profile. This just isn't for me. It got to the point where I was speaking to people out of boredom. I got tired of having conversations about nothing, among other things.

I've officially given up on finding love. It's just not in the cards for me and I can either accept it and move on, or hold on to the hope that I'll receive something that will never come. I think I'll choose the former. At least I can keep my sanity.

*And yes I go out, have changed up my appearance, smiled more, read books, done LOA, have gone out alone and out of my area, etc, etc, etc. It is what it is.
Click to expand...
I came in to type this. Except that I want to increase my going out and going out alone. I just can't be bothered. Maybe when it is closer to winter now it is summer and I'm going to enjoy looking good, working out and anticipating my trip home!
 
UniquelyDivine said:
My IG DM's have been flooded lately but not ONE I'm interested in, all river cricket looking dudes.

I'm low key offended! I mean I'm not super model gorgeous but I feel like I'm cute enough that ugmo's should know better.

There is one that seems trick worthy though :p he's about a 5.5/6 & I can work with that.
Click to expand...
No one is ever up in my DM's but maybe I don't post enough. I should start and see what I reel in.
 
Date tonight and I put absolutely no effort into my appearance. lol I mean I did a full face like I normally do and I'm wearing a dress like I normally do but I feel like it's a regular day at work. I look good and I know that but I also know I didn't make an effort to look like I had an after work thing. I also just bit off the damn nail of my index finger sitting in this meeting hearing how unprepared we are for an upcoming trial. Hopefully this guy doesn't notice.
 
KammyGirl said:
No one is ever up in my DM's but maybe I don't post enough. I should start and see what I reel in.
Click to expand...

You definitely should! He talked about that in MDLWLY, it's interesting what happens when you start getting more active on social media


However; I'm honestly a little shocked that mine have been poppin like this because I post maybe once a month. I just recently started back up again but mainly black history posts or a random joke meme but David Banner followed me the other day (hella random) and that when my Dm's lit up.

I think people must've assumed I'm an IG thot or something. .
 
I think I'm finally coming down from that initial high I was on from dude.

We still talk every day but 1) he's not sure when he's gonna make it up to see me and 2) his job makes it really hard to have real conversations, and it's already hard enough because it's by text. We'll be chatting and then he'll disappear cuz he had to pick someone up or drop them off. It's how he makes his money so I can't be mad but it's annoying.

I'm trying to be practical about it all. Like, we know this isn't the "happily ever after" dude. This is just the reminder that I can actually be into someone else and someone else can be into me, that ole boy was not the be-all, end all.
 
MzLady78 said:
Did he say why?
Click to expand...
Had I seen this earlier I would have said no because his cancellation was brief. Just that he couldn't make it. The end. I did respond to him about an hour later saying OK no problem even though I planned on not saying anything. And then as an afterthought I wrote so you're cancelling last minute with no explanation and sent a thumbs up and a peace sign just because my petty is on a 10 these days.

That was when the reason for cancelling came. He responds back with several messages explaining that his boss asked him last minute to go to a client dinner. His colleague was supposed to go but went home sick and he thinks the guy is faking to get an early start on his weekend. He says he feels like an ass because he was looking forward to seeing my red lipstick and bright personality in person but it's one of those things that he can't say no to even if he'd rather be meeting me. I didn't respond. And don't think I will.

Main reason I'm calling bs is he sent the cancellation and didn't follow up to reschedule. Had I ignored his text I probably wouldn't have received the excuse text and I'm almost certain that was going to be the end of that. But I called him on it I guess making him feel like he had to explain. So either he made up a lie to save face or he was inconsiderate and too stupid to send a more succinct text like "hate to cancel last minute, getting stuck at a client dinner, can we rescedule?" Neither one sounds acceptable to me

Young dudes. Smh
 
At Ruth Chris in Bethesda... my waiter is getting on my nerves been waiting like 20 minutes for my food.

My bestie is on her way in from NY and we are going to meet up with W and his friend later for D.C. shenanigans... going to the Harbor or something like that. I just know they are buying tons of liquor and seafood.
#kidfreeweekend #holidayweekend #inanfupaymemood
 
Good night...
My bestie and I met W and his friend at some restaurant/bar. He asked me if I wanted a drink- I couldn't think of what I wanted- so he just gave me $40 and told me to get whatever.

Then we got back to the table and he ordered everything my BF wanted. I was full off the Ruth Chris so I didn't eat much (shouldn't have gone there before that). More alcohol and food- chopped it up about how long we have known one another. 10+ years- my gawdddd.
I was doing a little bit of flirting, and he was looking like he wanted to eat me and it was good times. Lots of laughter.
Then on the way back- he gave me $20 for gas and paid for my car to come out of the parking garage. He paid for everything- including his friend to come out so that easily ran him $200+ just to entertain us for 2 hours.
As I got home- I thought to myself- you know, I never had a man give me gas money to get home before nor pay for my parking. Not sure if they aren't trained to do that or whatever...
Could also be that W just makes more money now and knows what he is suppose to do as a gentleman. He didn't do that 10 years ago. Actually, I take that back- he didn't pay for my gas the last time we saw one another but he did pay for my food even though he didn't eat.

The messed up thing though is that W is flaky. Like he would have been perfect, he has always held a soft spot in my heart - he absolutely adores and admires me but he has broken my heart a lot by just not wanting to commit. And when he doesn't want to be found - he WON'T be found using his job as an excuse. I don't know what it is- maybe I never let him "hunt" me. In the 10+ years, he knew I would be down for him but with the Navy sending him all over, he never wanted anything serious. But every time I see/speak to him now, he tells me how much he loves me and adores me. And he brags about me to other people- he did that last night to his friend in front of me. And he has paid for everything, shown me a good time with no expectations of sex. And he is practicing transparency. Whenever I question something - he screen shots and shows me to back his claim up. I noticed he has been doing that a lot with me.

The attraction is gone for W. Too much time has gone by and he played a lot of games in the earlier years. He seems to have matured now but I really just enjoy him as a friend. Maybe if he went harder like sending flowers or showing me he wanted something committed now I would change my mind but the signals are so mixed. He loves me but he doesn't want anything. He will treat me like a woman he is dating but we aren't. He keeps asking me if I am seeing any one but he doesn't do anything when I tell him I am single. He tells me he loves me more than I would understand but he is ok with letting another man have the opportunity to date me. Maybe he is already seeing someone else.... even though he says he isn't.

W is turning 38. He is doing 4 more years in the Navy, then retiring. He mentioned before that when he gets out the Navy, he will be ready to settle down and get married... but who is waiting 4 years for that??? If I were still single and we started dating closer to the 4 years, that is one thing but knowing this off the rip- no.
 
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